Note: Despite the lyrics at the begining, this is not a songfic. It is not a deathfic, either. I started writing it before the reboot, so it's based on the original series.
Beta-reader: None.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warning: This fic is Kuroro/Kurapica (slash) and gets pretty graphic 70,000 words in.
Chapter summary: The Chain Jail breaks free.

I don't believe in the secrets you keep
but I do wanna know
how do you sleep at night

and I'm over you, congratulations
And thank you for all the pain
Cause it made it be so much more fun

There's nothing to say, now
the feelings are already dead
and I don't believe there's a way, now
All that is said has been said
I'm waiting for another day, another way
I don't believe that you can make all the pain go away
So I'll leave it all behind

But I'm leaving with blood in my eyes

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

– Confucius

Dis Aliter Visum
~ Fate Chose Otherwise ~

Prologue

A gasp, a yelp, and Kurapica sat up in bed, struggling to breathe through the crushing terror he had awoken to. It squeezed at his chest, blocking his air passage, tightened around his throat and when he managed to draw a gasping breath, it slid down his throat like liquid lead, and sat inside of his lungs, burning, heavy.

At first, he didn't understand what had woken him. His room was deathly quiet and still. The two shadows lurking in the corners of his conscience, he had mostly gotten used to. Oh, they still managed to choke him with the guilt he fought off with all of his might. But he didn't really see them anymore, not unless he was tired, feverish or in inner turmoil. Unfortunately for him, this still happened to him way more often that he was comfortable with or would admit to. But they weren't what had disturbed his sleep.

He ran his hand through his blond locks, fingers sliding easily through the soft hair. A soft metallic sound accompanied the movement; the chains on his hand swaying gently with his every move. That was a sound he had grown accustomed to, in the year since he had started using Nen. It accompanied every movement he made, awake or in sleep. This wasn't what had woken up either.

He sighed and opened his eyes, and suddenly froze.

Time seemed to still, and the weight pushing down on his chest got steadily more stifling. He held his breath as he lifted his hand before his eyes. One of the chains hung limply from his finger. His blood ran cold. He knew what it meant, but he refused to believe it, refused to accept it.

He followed the chain down with his eyes, ring by ring, link by link, all the way to the tiny metal dagger that was fastened to the end. It glistened coldly in the moonlight from where it lay on the bed covers. So small, yet so heavy, so insignificant in appearance, yet so full of meaning. The Judgement Chain.

So, he was dead.

Kurapica felt like he should feel elated, maybe. Exultant, jubilant, ecstatic all came to mind. Or happy, at the very least. Something, anything! Something more than this vast emptiness inside, something warmer than the cold nothing that managed to weigh heavier than the dread he had woken to.

"I'll ask you again," he remembered his master saying, "give it up. Even if you succeed, you will gain nothing. All that will be left will be emptiness, and the blood seeping through your fingers. You do not have the strength to bear such a burden. This is your last chance to turn back. Give it up. This idea of revenge. Just give it up."

He'd refused to listen, refused to turn back. And now he knew. Now he felt it. The cold, unforgiving emptiness. The blood on his hands. The bitter taste of revenge that settled like a poison in his stomach. The man who had massacred his people, his tribe... was gone. It was truly over now. Kuroro Lucifer, head of the Spiders, thief and murderer was no more.

One more death to haunt his nights.