Hey everyone, I have to admit that I did kinda give up on the story. The lack of reviews and little support was very discouraging but after reading through all of the reviews I did receive once again, I realized that I have to finish this story, not for me, but for those loyal readers that do review and have followed this story from the beginning. So this one is for you guys.

Chapter 5

"I was at work when I received a call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize…"

Flashback

"Andrew? I can't talk right now, I'm at work."

"Yeah, but Rizzoli, it's vital that you meet me at Cambridge general hospital, now!"

Jane rolled her eyes, looking at her boss who glared back at her for being on her cell phone.

"What could be so important that it can't wait until 5?"

"It's Frankie."

Jane's heart immediately dropped to what felt like the bottom of her stomach.

"Frankie?" she choked out.

"Yes, but I'm not elaborating further until you report back here."

Jane stood in silence, eyes wide with shock,

"I'm on my way."

Telling her boss she had to go, she ran to her car, a million and one things going through her mind about what could be wrong with Frankie.

Luckily there weren't many people on the roads at 2:00 pm because Jane was completely oblivious to everything around her as she sped down the highway, ignoring every driving regulation.

She arrived in 10 minutes, and ran into the main entrance of the hospital, racing to the emergency ward, gasping for breath.

She nearly knocked Cavanaugh over as she ran into the entrance of the hospital.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded, looking down the hall to where her mother was crying into the arms of Korsak.

"Rizzoli, calm down…Frankie's been shot."

"What do you mean he's been shot?"

Cavanaugh, sighed, leading Jane to the waiting room where she took a seat in one of the plastic chairs.

"You've been gone for a while so I'll fill you in on everything that's been going on. Frankie was a potential candidate for his gold badge here in Cambridge. In the meantime he still worked patrol here. This morning Frankie was called to a fight occurring at a bar downtown between two drug dealers. Frankie tried to come between them and took two bullets, one to his chest and one near his clavicle."

Jane placed a hand over her mouth as Cavanaugh retold the story. She clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking so much and pulled her legs up onto the seat and hugged them to her chest tightly. She rested her head on her knees and let the silent tears run freely down her face. She couldn't fathom living a life without her brother in it.

Looking up from her knees, she wiped at her eyes quickly and turned to her captain.

"When can I see him?"

"Rizzoli…I don't think that that's a good idea right now. Maybe you should take a few minutes to gather yourself." He stated trying to prevent her from walking down the hall, but Jane bypassed his attempts and walked down the hall to where everyone stood. She stopped at the window looking into the operating room just in time to see the doctors putting away the defibrillator. She watched as Frankie lay there, motionless on the operating table, fluid drips and IVs plastered into the veins and arteries on his arms and hands. An oxygen mask was strapped to his face. The sickening screech of the heart monitor permeated Jane's ears and heart as she watched the horizontal line remain the same on the screen. A nurse looked up at Jane with sorrow as she pulled the blanket over his face.

She could hear her mother crying but she didn't turn to her because she couldn't let anyone, not even her mother, see how upset she was. She could literally feel the walls of her emotions going up and soon enough she felt nothing. Without saying anything to anyone, she walked out of the emergency ward and out to the parking lot.

"Jane."

She looked up to see Andrew walking over to her, cigarette in hand, the smoke making her feel dizzier than she already was. She opened her car door, ready to just go home.

"I heard what happened. I'm sorry about your loss."

"What do you want Andrew?" she asked annoyed.

"I know you'll probably want to go the funeral and see your family and I'll try my hardest to make that possible, but you have to remember the bigger picture here Jane. You have a job to do."

Jane, rolled her eyes, preparing to get into her car when Andy stopped her.

"Do you understand Jane?"

"Yeah, whatever." She said, shutting her car door and speeding off out of the hospital parking lot.

She made it home within the next hour, wanting nothing more than to be in Maura's arms. She doesn't know how or when but something about her made Jane feel like she didn't have to be strong and just be herself. Maybe it was love.

Arriving in front of her brownstone, she trudged up the stairs to the front door, jamming her key into the lock and opening it to see Maura lying on the couch. She sat up immediately, surprised to see Jane home so early. Maura knew that Jane didn't like it when it Maura shot up so she tried to do it when Jane was at work. Since Jane was home 2 hours early Maura was concerned that Jane would be upset with her since her high hadn't worn off yet. She was completely thrown off guard when Jane joined her on the couch, immediately bringing the blonde to her as she crushed her in a hug.

"Please hold me." She whispered, allowing her tears to freely fall. Maura wrapped her arms around Jane lovingly, allowing her girlfriend to cry. Maura surprisingly found herself shedding a few tears because seeing her cry for the first time was steering an emotion inside of her she couldn't control. Maura wrapped her arms tighter around Jane as her sobs continued. Jane clung to Maura's T-shirt, bawling the material into her fists, holding Maura to her afraid she'd disappear.

"Jane, I don't know what's broken you so much, but just know I'm here for you"

Jane looked up at her through swollen eyes, the dark eyes that Maura had fallen in love with long ago.

"Maur—he's gone." She whispered. Her eyes glazed over with more tears threatening to fall.

"Who's gone Jane?"

"My brother…he died. He was shot and he died." She cried.

"I'm so sorry baby." She whispered, placing a light kiss on Jane's forehead as Jane continued to cry into her shoulder. Maura automatically started to stroke Jane's hair, her gentle fingers and the sound of her breathing and heartbeat calming Jane.

Hours passed, day turning into night, and Maura continued to hold Jane wanting nothing more than to be there for her.

Jane lied in Maura's arms feeling physically sick as she tried to ignore the pain from losing her brother. She wanted nothing more than for the pain to stop.

Jane abruptly looked up at Maura,

"Why do you do it?" she asked hoarsely.

"Do what?"

"Get high."

Maura sighed, not wanting to answer this question because it would mean talking about him and she didn't want to bring him up. But seeing Jane's face, and knowing how vulnerable she was at the moment, she knew she couldn't lie to her.

"Jane, I have more pain that neither you nor I can handle. Dope... it just makes dealing with it much easier."

"Can I have some?"

Maura's eyes widened in shock, she couldn't believe that Jane, the same Jane who hated her drug habit was asking to get high. Maura shook her head, knowing that it was just Jane's grief and emotions talking.

"No Jane, I'm not going to ruin your life. Yes, you're hurting now, but with pain comes healing and you will get passed this." She stressed hoping that Jane would drop the subject.

"Frankie was my little brother and my best friend. Losing him isn't something I'm ready to deal with yet… I'm not asking for something hardcore, I just—I just want to stop hurting… at least for now."

"Jane, I can't…I can't do that to you. I could never live with knowing I was the person to give you your first hit."

Jane looked up at her, through dark eyes, pleading with her. The sight was heartbreaking, seeing how desperate this normally strong woman was.

"Please, Maura. I'm asking you and not some drug dealer because I trust you…because I love you."

Maura inhaled deeply at hearing Jane admit that she loved her. Maura knew she was in love with Jane for the past month now but she was afraid to say anything because she was afraid that their entire relationship was just a fairytale that was bound to fail like all the others; she was afraid that her addiction would become too much for Jane and that she would leave. But despite her fears, she found herself repeating the words back to the woman in her arms,

"I love you too." She said, kissing Jane on the forehead. She got up from the couch and walked into the bedroom to retrieve her bag, before walking into the kitchen and depositing the cocaine onto a smaller saucer.

"Jane, are you sure about this?" she asked, rejoining her on the couch, plate in hand.

"No…but I don't want to hurt anymore."

"Jane, please don't do this. You have no idea how hard it is to truly need this stuff. Don't make me be the one responsible for doing this to you. I love you too much to do this to you." Maura knew better than anyone that drugs only temporarily numbed the pain, and that after you came down from the high, the pain was still there, waiting.

Jane grabbed a hold of her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Maura, no matter what happens, I'll never blame you for helping me tonight because that's what you're doing. You're helping me…You're helping me cope with losing Frankie." She explained, more tears falling down her face.

Maura looked at her, knowing that if she allowed Jane to do this, there was no turning back, especially from cocaine. She considered giving Jane something in lieu of the real thing like sugar, but she feared that Jane would notice her lack of high and ask for something stronger. So here she was with the cocaine on the small dish. She wished the first person to give her first hit was this concerned as she was now. He let her get high, used her for sex and walked away. If she was going to let Jane o this, she swore to herself that she would be there to see her through the whole ordeal. She knew that coke increased one's sex drive and if Jane wanted to have sex with her, she would let her because she wanted to make this experience as pleasant as possible and truly stop her pain, if only temporarily. She would be there the entire time as Jane came down from her high and she would be waiting with open arms to comfort her.

Besides, if Jane realized that she didn't want to do drugs anymore, a decision Maura could no longer make, Maura knew that Jane was strong. She knew she was much stronger than Maura ever was, and could kick the habit. And knowing this, knowing of Jane's strength and will power us what persuaded Maura into giving the dish to Jane.