Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.

AN: I wrote this a while ago but got distracted. I know I shouldn't start anything else but most of this story has been written. Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it.

A Room Full of People

Give it up, you can't win

She figured out a long time ago that she's nowhere close to winning.

Jade's life changes the moment her father files for divorce. She doesn't know it yet, but he's the first person to give up on her, and he definitely won't be the last.

Her grandparents never understood her. Visits to their house consisted of complaints on her constant black attire, and her bad attitude. They too very quickly gave up on her, but that doesn't bother her much.

When she's seven her mom takes her to a therapist with complaints about her dark personality. The words clinical depression slips out of his mouth, and bottles of anti- depressants are given to her. She takes them for a month but they make her stop feeling human. Soon she refuses to take them, and her mother doesn't bother to force her.

/

Somewhere along the way Cat Valentine refuses to give up on Jade West. She doesn't flinch at Jade's harsh words, and doesn't mind Jade's weird habits. Yes, Cat Valentine made 7th grade a good year.

The moment she receives her Hollywood Arts acceptance letter she's genuinely and truly happy. Because in a world where so many people don't think she' worth the time, she's finally found a place. A place where she can ignore her father's disappointed stares, and become anyone she wants to be.

She decides to be Jade West, someone beautiful, but also cruel and bitter. If life didn't hand her a fair deck of cards why should anyone else get them either. She shines above the rest. With her voice and talent she rises to the top, and everyone else is too scared to challenge her. It's there at Hollywood Arts where she and Cat meet nerdy Robbie Shapiro, musical Andre Harris, and gorgeous Beck Oliver. Somewhere along the way she found three other people who think she's worth it. Slowly she doesn't feel the need to be so mean. And when Beck Oliver looks at her like she's the only person in the world, she finds that life isn't so bad after all.

/

What really scares her is when her mom gives up. It happens, two piercings and one tattoo later. Her mother looks at her and shakes her head. From that day in she doesn't even bother with Jade. Doesn't ask where she's going or what she's doing. They become strangers, and she's not sure who to blame.

/

Beck is beautiful in a way that she isn't. He's nice and calm, and everyone loves him. She tries to swallow the jealousy in her throat whenever a girl comes around, but it's impossible. If Beck won't tell anyone that he has a girlfriend she'll make sure they know. She pushes, kicks, and screams her way into his life. Making sure everyone knows who she is, and that she isn't a joke. The light in his eyes tell her that he doesn't mind. He loves seeing his girlfriend this protective over him, and he doesn't want it to stop.

She wants to say the changing point is when Tori Vega arrives. Once Tori Vega comes into her life everyone else seems to leave it. The next person to give up on her is Andre. He's stuck to Tori's side like it's the most natural thing in the world. He throws all of his songs and plays in Tori's direction. Sikowitz follows behind. He knocks Jade straight from the top and replaces her with Tori. She's no longer his top student, but instead a mean gank. No matter how hard she tries she's never enough to find her way into a lead role. Robbie's next but she'll never complain about that. She doesn't care enough about Robbie and his weird puppet Rex enough to begin with. She still has Cat and Beck though and that's enough.

But she really did hate Tori Vega. Tori Vega who kissed Beck, and makes Beck laugh, and smile. She hated that Beck took her side too often, and how Beck seemed to think it was his job to protect Tori from her. Somewhere along the way her bitterness comes back. This time it's larger than ever. She doesn't believe some of the cruel things she does, but it doesn't stop her. Tori doesn't get to come in and steal her life. She finds herself holding on to Beck tighter. Screaming at him in her mind not to give up. To ignore Tori and stay with her. She doesn't realize that her bitterness is hurting him until it's too late. Beck who's been with her for three years, gives up on her in ten seconds.

When she really thinks about it, Tori never really gave up on her. Despite how mean Jade can be Tori is always somewhere wanting to be her friend. But how can you be friends with the person who took everything away from you? The answer is you can't.

She'll always love Cat because she never fails to stay. Cat's there even when she doesn't want her to be and she wonders if Cat is the one constant in her life. But even Cat seems to have one foot already out the door.

/

She's not sure when it happens, but one day she finds herself tired, Tired of everything around her. She's tired of feeling like an outsider to a group of people she used to call friends. Tired of being behind Tori Vega. Tired of all the people trying so hard to get away from her. Most of all she's tired of feeling alone even when she's in a room full of people.

/

To the surprise of no one Tori wins The Platinum Award Contest. And Beck is beside her every step of the way. Beck who probably always thought Tori was pretty. Beck who didn't seem to even miss her. So when she gets offered to take Tori's place she accepts. If only because of the disgusted look on Beck's face. If he didn't believe in her anymore she would make him believe. And when Cat is the only person to show up to support her she feels that maybe she's hit rock bottom. And when she sees Beck leaning in to kiss Tori, she thinks she's suffocating. And when Beck talks her down just to convince Tori to kiss him she knows something inside her has broken. But good little Tori Vega is too nice to kiss Beck, and before long she's helping Tori replace her. It's almost worth it to see Beck smile at her. Almost.

/

The plan is simple. Jade doesn't want to make this some big event. She'll swallow her mom's sleeping pills and that will be it. Anything else will be too messy and she doesn't want anyone finding her that way. But this was final. No more being tired. No more people giving up on her, no more anything. And for the first time in a long time she feels happy.

She writes them letters because she thinks it's only fair to tell them goodbye. She spends most of the night on them because she knows she won't do it tomorrow, and she really wants this done.

She goes to school as Jadelyn West. No colorful extensions, no piercings, and no black. It's surreal walking down the hallways for the last time, and it almost freaks her out. This will be the last time she does any of this, but it's not enough to make her change her mind. She's nice to everyone she speaks to and ignores her friends questioning stares.

She's written nine letters, and she takes nine pills with shaking hands. It's poetic and kind of fitting. She imagines each pill has a name on it. Dad. Mom. Sikowitz. Trina. Andre. Robbie. Cat, Tori. Beck. Because each of them had a hand in this fate, and she wants them to know this.

She lies neatly on her bed, and ignores the fact that her vision is blurring and her breathing is getting heavier. In a final moment she relives her anger. Her anger at her parents and the crappy childhood they gave her. Her anger at friends who failed at being friends. Anger at a boyfriend too afraid to ever show any emotion, and anger at Tori fucking Vega for stealing everything away from her.

She doesn't regret her decision until she sees a flash of red. It's only for a second because she's immediately pushed into darkness.

The perfect ending for such a broken girl.

It's the same old story but you never get it right, give it up

So what do you guys think?