Catch-22

Disclaimer: Me own/claim nothin'

Because not everything's a pinch of joy and a dash of rainbow with ice cream topped with cherry.

01: Game

"Did you gain weight Erza?" Jellal asked his girlfriend nonchalantly.

"Excuse me?" they were a couple for quite some time now, and Erza has been trying her best not to kick his 'boyfriend' out of her house—apartment. After all living under the same roof has never been easy for both of them.

"Sorry, it came out as a question. Let me reconstruct that. You got fat."

"I did not get fat! I don't get fat!"

"Oh? Well, you look good in that ten layered clothing." he started chuckling at his self-proclaimed remark and continued. "What's it called again? Oh that's right. Flesh." He was teasing her. Again. For the millionth time. And she was getting sick of it.

"Oh, Jellal do you know how to call a man without a home? What's he called again?"

He smiled at this. He loves it when she plays his game.

"Homeless." Jellal giggled for thinking that the answer was so easy. He took a sip of coffee from his mug and looked at her, face beaming.

Erza returned a sweeter smile and his stomach was tied up in knots.

"Nope. He's called Jellal Fernandes." He spewed the coffee that almost made him choke. He stared at her, eyes too round for his own liking.

"Well you look rather good in that eyes-wide-mouth-agape-I-can't-believe-it face you're wearing." She quickly went to their bedroom and he heard things that were displeasing to his ears. Then he heard a clinking sound.

She came out and faced the dazed man who still looked broken and beyond repair.

"What's it called again? Oh that's right. Screwed."

Erza pocketed the spare key to her apartment that was once his.

She is NOT doing this to me. He thought but then again, she already did.

"Oh, wanna know something else? How do you call a fat lady who just kicked his boyfriend out of her apartment because of stupidity?"

"… Erza Scarlet?" he still managed to answer with a weak smile, frantically hoping this was just part of the game he wanted to play so badly.

"Jellal Fernandes, the correct answer is Single. Game over." And the last thing he saw was his now airborne mug travelling over a hundred miles per hour hitting him square on the face, sending him flying outside and then being enveloped by his mountains of clothing.

xoxoxox

Erza just came back home from her part-time job downtown and heck, she was not having the time of her life. She broke up with her boyfriend just because of a simple joke. And hell was she regretting it.

She was about to break into tears when she spotted a note posted on the door.

Hi, I've missed you.

Erza's ego came back to her. I am not going to be swooned by one of his cheap tricks again. She crumpled the note and shoved it inside her pocket as she reached for the lights inside once she opened the door.

She then headed to the kitchen to get a drink of water and she stopped her hand from grabbing the handle of the fridge when she saw another note.

I've bought cranberry juice today. I know how much you love them.

She was supposed to feel annoyed, rather she felt amused. Amused at how well he knows her. Of how well he knows what she's about to do and where she's supposed to go. Before she could stop herself, her lips stretched upwards and she couldn't deny that this was definitely a smile.

Shaking her head off and thinking that this is nothing but his usual make-things-better-and-I'm-sorry ministrations she went to the bathroom to clean herself up.

And the bathroom door greeted her with another note that got her heart racing erratically.

Just so you know I'm beyond this door waiting for you. ;)

Feeling her heart doing somersaults and cartwheels, she can't completely get rid of the feeling that he's there in the bath. Waiting for her. Just the two of them. Naked.

Her face flushed a violent shade of her hair and she opened the door nonetheless. With a trembling hand, she brushed the shower curtain aside and to her disappointment she found yet another note.

Made your heart skip a beat didn't I?

"Why you…" she crumpled the note and flushed it down the toilet. He was apparently teasing her again yet she felt oddly compelled by this. She should be mad about him for setting this whole crappy entertainment yet she felt courted and fluffy inside. She closed her eyes for a moment and let the warmth of the water dissolve all her worries.

Finally satisfied, she wasted no time getting to bed. God! Was she beat up. And just as she was about to lie down and enjoy a good night's rest she found another note.

I'm outside. Waiting for you.

This note was probably the last one and it's the one that made her think long and hard. Was she going to go and see if he really was outside? Or will she just sleep on her comfortable bed and act like she never saw the note?

She drew in a long and deep sigh and turned off all the lights. She tucked herself in the covers and let the night drift her to sleep.

xoxoxox

Unfortunately Jellal Fernandes didn't let her sleep. She was lying on bed but she wasn't asleep. Or more like she can't. The wonders that Jellal does to her.

Oh, for the love of God, I must be crazy.

She jumped out of bed and headed straight to where he said he'd be—not bothering to wear a robe even though she was hardly dressed.

She opened the door panting and there he was—features ever so gorgeous in the moonlit night.

"You came." He sounded like he raised a question but he didn't care. She came for him. For him. Hn, looks like she really cares. He smirked triumphantly at this.

"What? Don't tell me this is one of your sick jo—"

"You look good in that." He started.

She blushed and he knew he had her.

"W-What do you want? It's late you know." She wasn't about to give herself in just yet and he liked that idea.

"Erza."

"What?"

"Do you know how to call a man without a home—"

"I am NOT playing—"

"—and a girlfriend?"

Curious, she actually asked before she could stop herself.

"What?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

"What?" You're not making any sense here.

"But I do know how to call a man with a home and a girlfriend." She smiled totally surrendering to his smooth talk.

Erza rolled her eyes before speaking.

"Jellal, just get the hell in."

He smirked and found himself sharing the same bed as hers again.

xoxoxox

[The next morning]

"Erza, did you lose some—"

"If I had a nickel for every single damn time you teased me, GOD! I could buy a Porsche or somethin'!"

"Oh? Do you know—"

"GIVE IT A REST JELLAL!"

And all she heard was his laughter reverberating inside her small apartment.

A/N: Oh boy if I had a boyfriend like that, I wouldn't know what to do. *Laughs* Review?