Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Here's an update to celebrate! :)

Zuko POV:

I want to die.

"AUGH! Why do I always mess things up?!" My foot slams into the curb. I ignore the pain. "Dammit! I'm such an idiot!"

I rake a hand through my hair, staring hopelessly at the dust trail her Volkswagen had left behind. I turn abruptly on my heel and stomp up the stairs, violently slamming the door to my apartment shut. I don't really give a second thought to how pissed off my neighbors must be as I practically march as noisily as possible into the small bedroom. With a groan, I fall back onto bed and dig the palms of my hands onto my eyelids.

There were so many different things I could've said to begin our meeting.

'How have you been?'

'I think we need to just talk this out.'

'Thanks for coming.'

Or hell, I don't know, maybe even an apology for screwing up her life?! Anything, literally anything, is better than a fucking love confession! Without any warning whatsoever, too! Of course she would run away! I would if that were me! God, why am I so stupid?

But still, a tiny, miniature, microscopic, incredibly guilty part of me wonders what she would've said back if she had stayed. And an even guiltier, even smaller part of me wonders what our relationship would be like now if I had never dated Mai. It's dangerous to think that way, but I can't help it. I'm a terrible human being.

Here Mai was, the girl I had proposed to, the girl I loved, being the perfect fiancé. She was loyal, beautiful, and a great friend. And I had gone and totally dissed her off.

But then... Then there was Katara, the girl I'm also in love with. She's just perfect, perfect in everything. She's funny, stunning, and a best friend. And I had completely scared her off.

I love both of them, maybe not equally, but in different ways that seem impossible to separate. I can't stand the thought of living without either of them, and I'm still trying to figure out how that's possible.

People say that falling in love is the easiest thing in life, but those people are arguably even stupider than me. Have they seen the way love can mess up friendships and lives? It forces you to choose between family and spouse, friend and relationship. What is easy in that?

Well, maybe falling in love is easy. When you love someone, you just love them. But love and repercussions go hand in hand, and the consequences sometimes aren't worth the actual feeling.

Falling out of love is what's hard.

My hand grabs the pillow at my side, stuffing it into my face as I shout in frustration.

This is one huge mess, and it won't fix itself.

No. I know that she wants to be left alone. I know that she ran for a reason. I know that it's probably a bad idea, but it's one I have to do. There really aren't any other options.

I toss the pillow back and roll to my feet, straightening out the irritating wrinkles that had formed on the side of my T-shirt. Passing by the 'dining room,' I swipe my own car keys from the coffee table, and head out of the house.

This situation is shit, and I can't afford to wait until it gets worse to actually fix it. If I don't set things straight now, things are never going to get better.

Katara might try to run away, but I know every place she'd hide.

My hand digs into the dirt of the potted bush by the door, immediately locating the spare key to her apartment. Before I can convince myself that this is a bad idea, I shove the key into the lock and twist.

The first thing I see when I burst in is my sister, who's casually leaning against the kitchen counter from her barstool. I don't even get one word out before she flippantly gestures to the closed door down the small hallway. "She's in there."

A loud voice sounds from somewhere to my right. "Finally! Bout time you got here. Sweetness has been pouting in that room for long enough." I crane my neck to see the little blind girl sprawled across the couch. She grins in my direction, and I can't help but feel a tiny bit creeped out like I always do at how she's easily able to know where I am, despite her handicap. "This oughtta be a good show."

I shake my head and stride over to the door, my hand hesitating only a second when I reach down to open it. The knob turns halfway before jarring to a stop. I wiggle it around, even shoving a shoulder into the door.

"Katara!" I shout through the door. "Please, can we just talk about this?"

"No!" Her muffled reply comes from the other side.

"Why not? We need to figure this out! We have to!" I press an ear flat against the crack, still trying in vain to push the door open.

"I don't want to!" Her voice sounds thick and watery. I gulp nervously. I don't handle crying girls very well. Never have, and I highly doubt I ever will.

I stop trying to open the door and just lean against it instead. A hint of desperation tints my words. "Please, Katara. Please. Just let me in, or come out. Something, anything! But we need to talk. This is bigger than just you and me!"

"Go away!"

There's a snort from somewhere behind me. I ignore it. "Katara. Please. If we don't resolve this now, then we'll just keep digging a deeper hole. Do you really think the problem's going to go away just because you ignore it long enough?" Silence meets my ears, but at least she isn't screaming at me to leave. I'll take that as progress. "Please, I'm begging you, just talk to me."

I hold by breath in anticipation. Seconds of silence go by before I hear the thumping of footsteps, and then the door is thrown open. I would've smiled if not for her disheveled appearance and absolutely furious expression. I gulp nervously.

She sets her cold glare on me from the doorway, her foot tapping impatiently. I shift uncomfortably under her gaze. Am I supposed to say something? Why is she standing there like that? Why is she mad at me?! I'm so confused-

"Well?" She snaps, breaking through my train of thought. My eyes widen the slightest bit, and it's then that I realize she's wanting me to hurry up and say what I came here for. Right there. In the middle of the hall. Where I can make a fool of myself (again) right in front of both my sister, the evilest person I know, and Toph, the only nineteen year old girl in the world that actually scares the crap out of me.

"Uh..." I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. "Can we-um-do this in private?" My voice comes out more high pitched then I had intended.

Her eyes narrow, and she huffs in irritation. She rolls her eyes and steps back, allowing just enough room for me to slip in. I hurriedly take a place standing by her bed, and she shuts the door with a click.

She crosses her arms, leaning on the wall with her shoulder. I fidget helplessly, still trying to get my thoughts together. I really need to start thinking these things through.

"Katara... I... Well, what I mean is... I just, what I said earlier, it wasn't... It's just-"

"Get to the point, Zuko. Like you said, we don't have all the time in the world, so get on with it."

I clench my jaw, hardening my resolve. It was now or never. "Why did you leave? Why did you run away?"

Her azure orbs widen a fraction before narrowing to slits. "What do you mean, 'why did I run away?!' What else was I supposed to do?!"

It's my turn to get angry. "Well, you weren't supposed to run away! The least you could've done was at least say something! Anything besides just leaving!"

She pushes off the wall, fists tightening at her sides. "What the hell was there to say? It's not like I was exactly expecting a freaking love confession to be the first thing to pop out of your mouth when I came to talk! The least you could've done was give a girl a little warning!"

I cringe slightly at how idiotic it sounds when she puts it to words, but I refuse to show my shame. Instead, I get angrier, after all, my pride's been hurt, and I'm only a man. "The whole wedding was your warning! I said your name at the altar! What else did you need?! Me to say, 'Oh, by the way, considering you're pretty ignorant for a girl, I might as well warn you that I'm about to voice my already painfully obvious feelings for you?' If you couldn't have figured it out by then, then no heads up in the world would've been able to prepare you for it!"

She sucks in a breath, face flushing in rage. "If you hadn't gotten together with Mai in the first place, than none of this would've happened!"

I take an angry step forward, knowing that I really shouldn't say what is about to come out of my mouth, but then again, I never really had that great of a filter. "You're one to talk! At least nobody ever cheated on me!"

She deflates, mouth falling open in disbelief and eyes shining with hurt, and for one terrible moment, I think she's going to cry. But then the moisture in her eyes is blinked away before it even has the chance to form tears, and her chin juts in the way that it always does when she's shoving away her feelings and about to get extremely stubborn. "Don't you dare bring that up. What happened with Jet is completely irrelevant to the subject at hand. Don't try and pretend like this whole damn situation isn't your fault, and all you're doing is making everything worse."

"I know that this is my fault! That's why I'm trying so hard to fix it!" I swear that I'm breathing smoke by now. "I told you I loved you, but was it honestly that much of a surprise?! It's not like I lied to you about anything! I gave you the truth, whether you liked it or not, so what else are you wanting from me?"

Her expression turns into a mix of rage, frustration, hurt, and a little of something I can't identify. Something almost akin to sadness. And I know that there's so much more to this than I had previously thought.

Katara POV:

I'm so confused, and so angry, and I don't know why. All I know is that this hurts a lot more than it should.

"You could apologize!"

Because if you did, then I'd know where we stood. I'd know that we aren't too far gone, that you didn't mean it, and we can move on with our lives and forget those three little words that shouldn't mean so much. Because those three little words make me happier than I'd care to admit, and at the same time sadder than I'd want anyone to know. And all it equals to is regret. For the both of us. So please, please, please- take it back. Say you're sorry. Say you didn't mean it. Say it was a mistake. Say it so everything can go back to normal. To how it should be.

But my hopes fall flat when he shakes his head sadly. It had been a false hope really. Nothing more than a blinding light.

"No." He suddenly sounds tired. "I won't apologize for what I feel. I don't want to lie to you, Katara. I love Mai, but I love you too. That's the truth, and the truth should never be excused, even if it's unexplainable."

And right then, I hate him. I hate him for doing this to me. For not allowing me to move on and let go. I hate him for making me feel like a foolish teenager again. I hate him so much for stumbling upon this realization three years too late. I hate him for finally seeing the possibilities right when they become impossibilities. I hate him for making my heart dwell in 'what ifs' and 'so close, but so far.' I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

And yet, I don't hate him at all. Really, I just hate this. This whole thing that we're stuck in the middle of.

And I almost hate love for being so blind and deceiving. I hate that it's something I can't control, something I can't fix.

But this would never have worked. Because I'm not supposed to be with him, and he's not supposed to be with me, otherwise we wouldn't have been with other people and forgotten about each other. Important things aren't forgettable. And every time I think of Mai, all I can see over and over is the rare tears streaming down her cheeks, and the raw hurt shining in her eyes, and I just know that I would feel so, so guilty if she never got her happy ending. Besides, he said himself, he loves Mai. And maybe he loves me too, but he loved her first. At least, that's what I tell myself.

I'm exhausted. "No. You don't love me." His head snaps up, alarm in his gaze. "Stop fooling yourself, Zuko. You've already dug your hole, so might as well follow through and finish this out. You love Mai. You don't love me, and I don't love you."

I can practically hear his heart shattering, but I force myself not to back out. This way, it'll be easier. No more 'buts' and 'maybes.' No more turning back.

"Katara, what are-"

"Go."

"Wha-What?"

I turn away from him, settling me hand on the cold doorknob. "Just go. Go find Mai and say you're sorry. Tell her this was a misunderstanding, that she can talk to me if she wants. Go fix this before it's too late."

"I-This..." He sounds defeated, crushed. "Katara..."

I turn my head to say once more over my shoulder. "Zuko."

"Yes?"

"I don't love you. I'm so sorry." And there goes his heart, piece by piece that no 'sorry' could ever put back together.

There's steely silence. And then, "No. I'm sorry."

I try not to flinch at the coldness in his voice. My grip on the metal knob twists and I open the door, stepping to the side. He brushed past without a single glance to spare.

I don't watch as he strides across the apartment, ignoring Azula and Toph, and slams the door behind him.

It's better this way. It'll be okay. Eventually he'll be grateful that I turned him away. Eventually he'll see that Mai will give him everything he ever needs, everything I was too afraid to give. This is hardly the end of the world, and soon it'll all work itself out in the end.

I ignore the whispers flitting through my head that tells me, "Liar."

Author's Note: I'm sorry that it's been so long to update! Summer was supposed to be my designated writing time, but then a bunch of stuff popped up and I haven't had the time... And sorry also for the shortish chapter. I've been struggling with writer's block for several of my stories, and this was one of them. I hope this chapter didn't come out super crappy, although I'm not too happy with it... :/

Character Questions:

Zuko:

Whitewalkster: So, Zuko, on a scale of one to Zutara-not-being-together-in-the-end, how heart broken were you when Katara just left after you said you loved her?

Huh? I don't really understand this scale unit, but, uh, I guess the 'Zutara-not-being-together-in-the-end' one.

fringegrrl: zuko, what did you do after katara left your apartment?

Well, I guess you just found out...

juana24: When did you realize your feelings for Katara and decide that you would choose her over Mai?

I haven't exactly chosen one or the other yet, per say...But I guess I always kind of had feeling for Katara. I just didn't think it was love.

EnyaandEathenyl: Zuko: Why did you say "I take thee Katara"? Was it a slip of the tongue? Had you planned to say it like that?

I definitely hadn't planned it. It just sorta came out.

BlackRabbit: This is a question for zuko. "Why did you say 'I love you' for the first sentence? In my opinion that was another mistake. You could have had her stay with for much longer if you didn't just say that at first."

I've been asking myself the same question. I wasn't really thinking at the moment... Which seems to happen quite often with me...

Katara:

LovinZuko: Why do you have to be so stupid, Katara?!

Excuse me?!

Everlasting Harmony: why katara? why would u hurt zuko like that? not talking to him and all.

I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, really. I just panicked. I wasn't meaning to shun him or anything.

Both:

kim3375: to katara and zuko... can i come over and have some gummy worms? when you get married?

Katara: Marriage?! Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves?! ...But you're welcome to join us.

Zuko: Yeah, that whole marriage thing just threw me off. So, no.

Ozai:

Tarta: Question to Ozai: What did you felt when your wife died?

What do you think?