"Because everything and everyone in my life was taken away. I won't let that happen to you. I love you too much for that."

Chapter 1

Lily POV

It was the night of the Christmas Feast and I was doing rounds since James was currently "incapacitated". He was sick the past week and I honestly don't know what that meant. Dumbledore just sent me his note saying that I had to do rounds by myself.

I had to admit that it was irritating and disappointing for James to bail out on the last Head rounds for the year, but I was growing curiouser and curiouser by the second.

He hasn't come out of his room the whole week and I was wondering what held him up there. I wondered if he was starving or did he smuggle food out of the kitchens? I saw Sirius, Remus and Peter go up to his room once and came out not quite their usual selves. I decided that it wasn't my place to ask, but if he hasn't come out yet at the end of the night, I would personally barge in his room and ask what the hell has happened. I couldn't very well let my fellow head go raving mad can I?

I finish the rounds on the seventh floor and decided to go down to the feast to grab something to eat. While getting a treacle tart, I see Remus Sirius and Peter eating on the edge of the Gryffindor table. They were talking in hushed tones and kept looking at the door. I get an apple and make my way to where they were.

"Hey." I say and sit beside Peter. He fidgets beside me. "Hey." Remus says darkly. "What happened? Why are you all so bloody sad?" I ask him. He and Sirius share a look. "You honestly haven't heard?" Sirius asks. I shake my head. "Heard what?" I ask. The case of James Potter grows more interesting by the second. "You should ask James yourself." Sirius says then hands me a glass of pumpkin juice. "Take this to him and say, It's Kid's Pee." I eye the glass warily.

"I don't think you could make me, the head girl, bring alcohol up to Potter. He's the head boy in case you haven't noticed." I tell Sirius. He laughed. "How'd you know? Did my Anti-Smell Spell defunct?" he grins. "You actually have a spell for alcohol?" I raise my eyebrows. "Meh. Guys got to know what guys got to know." He shrugs. "So, how did you figure it out, Ms. Head Girl?" he sneers. "Duh. Kid's Pee is anagram from spiked, with an additional e." I say and he shrugs it off. "Just bring it this once. He really needs it." Sirius says.

I concede as I really want to know what is happening. I go up to the 5th floor and say "Pixie Pinecones" to the fat lady. The door opens and I hurry to the head dormitories. I knock on his door and hear him sniffle. "Was he crying?" I asked myself. "Get out." He says. I knock again and say, "It's me." The sounds in the room stop and I hear James say, "Lily?" "Yep." "Get in." He says. I open the door and see him.

And, oh what a sight he is. He was on the sofa of the dorm with his head in his palms. Garbage of food wrappers and fruit peelings were all around him and there was tissue paper everywhere. "Oh God. What happened, James?" I ask him, pausing on the door, unsure of what to do. His head rise up and says, "I said come in, Lils. It's okay." He says. I come in and close the door behind me but still stay away. His bloodshot eyes confirm that he was actually crying.

"What are you holding there?" he asked, pointing to the glass of pumpkin juice. "Oh, this? It's spiked pumpkin juice. Sirius told me to bring it to you." I say and walk over to the sofa to hand the glass to him. It almost slips but he tightened his hold around it. He ran his hand through his hair and downs the glass in a few gulps.

"Would you want to tell me what happened?" I ask him, sitting on the sofa beside him.

"I got a letter." He says simply. "THE letter?" I ask. He nods his head. I gulp. Oh. Lately, lots of people have been getting letters from the ministry regarding deaths of their loved ones. It was happening more and more since the Dark Forces have been rising to power. It has been so that the morning post was something to be dreaded by the students. Christmas break was the only thing most of us looked forward to.

I had no worries since I came from a muggle family but James' relatives were different. Pureblood, at the most. "Who was it?" I ask simply. "All of them." He chokes out.

And then he started crying. The broken kind. The kind that says I don't care anymore because everything I care about is gone. The kind that just makes your heart ache so much. The kind that keeps you up at night once you've heard it. "James."I sigh. And hug him. I hugged him. He hugged me back and started crying harder.

"Everything will be alright." I say and pat his back. But then he freezes up. He pulls away "Don't say that." He says flatly. "What?" I ask. "It isn't true. Never will be." He says, looking down, his long hair covering his eyes. His body was hunched in defeat and he was breathing unevenly from crying.

"It's the only thing I can do James. Right now you're lost and the only thing I could give you is assurance. Right now it may seem that everything is stark black but I want you to know that I would do ANYTHING to make it alright. You've turned into one of my bestest friends and I couldn't bear to see you like this. Do you understand that?" I fume out. Dealing with lost is the thing I'm good at ever since Marlene and Hestia's family passed.

He looks at me with a blank expression. We stay like this for a while. He, probably thinking what the hell made me say that. Or whatever happened to all our loathing and why he was one of my best friends now. And I look at him and all I see is someone who badly needs something to hold him to this place. Someone that's broken but inside the toughest one you'd ever see. "Thanks Lily." He says, then looks out the window.

I stand up and leave him alone. "Hey. Don't go yet." He says, turning from the window. I stare him up and decide to just clean the place since it was pooling with filth. "Hmph. Alright." I say. I cleaned for a while and realize that he still hasn't eaten yet. "Hey Potter." I call him. "Yeah?" he asks not turning. "Would you like to go down to the dance with me?" I ask. He snaps his head so fast and exclaims, "WHAT?!"

"I said, 'would you like to go down o the dance with me?" I repeated.

"I heard that. But why?" he asks.

"I just bet you haven' eaten a thing for a while. You must be starving, knowing you and your appetite." I say chuckling and putting the socks I picked up in the bin.

"Oh Well, okay then." He says and goes out.

"WAIT!" I call after him. This bloke is really ridiculous.

"What Lily?" he asks exasperatedly.

"You can't very well think I'd let you go there with what you're wearing, Potter." I say putting my hands on my hips, scowling at him. He looked down and said, "This is a properly fine wardrobe if you ask me." He replies.

"For God's sakes James you're in your pajamas! I would count to ten and leave this room and you must be done changing by then or I will blow your room to chunks." I scream at him.

He grins at me.

The bloody idiot grins at me.

"What are you grinning at?" I huff at him.

He walks back toward me and hugs me as he says, "I miss you're screaming at me Lily. Especially this week." He laughs and I shake my head.

What an idiot.

AN:

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