A KILLER'S HEART and DARKNESS

(A/N): OMGolly! I was watching the news this morning b4 I was roughly shoved off 2 school by my neighbor turned ex-marine cop, and was told:

PRESIDENT LINCOLN IS DEAD! DEEEEAAAD! He's DEAD, ppl! And apparently the Sandman has struck AGAIN! I was walking the beach last night and BAM! SAND! EVERYWHERE I go! The water then SAND! MILLIONS OF LIL PARTICLES OF SAND!!!!

This world is turning FREAKY!!!! Whats NEXT??!! The tooth fairy?? GREMLINS????

Well, sorry 4 taking so long! Thanks r at the bottom! Enjoy the chap!!!!

It took 1 full year at that very same fight. ONE FULL YEAR! As Garuri yet again prepared himself to fight, Hokai looked on at the purple-haired babe in front of him….

Gon was losing self control. Ever since he had seen the weird man in front of him being killed, he had decided to confess his love for his one and only. He didn't know how to go about it though. His love was SO SO far away and basically had NO CLUE about the idea of love with an anime chara- errr yeah

Killua was toughing it out. His opponent, the freakish Shinobi wearing the ….gaaah, what IS that?? O.o

The Shinobi cracked his knuckles, flexed his abs, and straightened his priest collar, all the while flossing around his lollipop and glaring at the dancing bear camera-man.

Killua: O.o WHAT THE F*CKI-BEEP BEEP HELL AM I IN NOW????

Gon, forgetting about his opponent for the moment, actually had convinced himself he spotted his love. His love walking down the aisle…..his love descending the stairs….his love hopping gleefully across the arena and bouncing in front of him….

Garuri, holding a flag saying "I LOVE AMERICA", glomped onto his Suoh Takamura plushy and wiggled his butt to-and-fro in front of his bodyguard, Hokai, the older man finally getting out of his purple stump to watch in awe at the boy in front of him.

DARK of SKY was BURNING! BUUUUUUUURNING in the background because of the author's revealed HATE, COMPLETE DISGUST, of her, that gorey lil GNOME!

Gon, all the while was in heaven. His loved one was finally there!

Killua was unfazed, leaped in the air, and tore off the pink tuutuu of the man in front of him. The man screeched, squaked, then tiptoed away, all the while cursing how American boys were so rude.

Suddenly,

"QUIT IT!!!! SHUT UP!!!! THIS ISNT RIGHT!!!! YOU! HEY YOU!!!!"

Errrrr *looks around nervously* ME???? Hey hold on a minu-!!

"YEAH, YOU, YOU FREAK!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS????"

But….I wrote you were unfazed….

"LIKE HELL (HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL) IM NOT!!!! WHAT THE F*CKING HELL DID YOU DOOOOOOOO????"

Ummmm, well……it's A-

Killua jumped back and stalked forward to the miserably SHORT author who was at the moment huddling under the desk of the announcer lady (who is NOBODY, Michy!)

"Why I ottaaa….!!"

Eeeeeeeeeeek O.O KOGANEI KICK!!!! *flings out pokeball and a koganei-creature jumps out* GO!!!! IKEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*Killua's claw sharpens* *evil aura* .

WAIT! Wait! @_____@ I did a TERRIBLE thing….

*Killua nods*

I used a parody of POKEMON, of all things…….

Killua: O.O *facefault*

Don't worry, shinpai suru na. I shall kill myself. Ok, here I go….with one last word.

*looks at camera* SAYONARA *jibun wo koroshita*

Satisfied, Killua backs away with a smirk and is just about to turn around when he…..

SEES A CERTAIN AUTHOR CRAWLING AWAY LIKE A DOG.

*little voice* I cant kill myself yet,….I just remembered I ordered Kodomo no Omocha part 2 and a Wings shounen ai phonebook…….nope, cant die yet…..mayb later….ato de tabun….

A voice suddenly shouts out: "KILLUA KUN!!!!"

Killua turns around, searching for the voice.

"SAVE GON, YOUR BELOVED!!!! I WILL NOT (EVER!!) SIT HERE A READ A FIC WHERE DISNEY GETS JAPAN!!!!"

Killua: O__O Err….nani??

Killua turns around to see….

Gon: *sparkly-eyed* FINALLY!

….Gon making out with …….SNOOPY!!!! That's right! SNOOPY! Yep, the pup who sits on his own doghouse, the ONE and ONLY!!!! NO LEASH INCLUDED!!!!

*DA-BAM* All gigglers in the stands see a DEAD-Killua.

CAUSE OF DEATH: HEART ATTACK!

Apparently, watching the one he had always loved actually making out with an animation character that was black and white, KILLED HIM.

The TORTURE! Can u imagine witnessing th-……hold on….who's typing this???? The author ran away! Killua is DEAD! Gon is in an eternal lip-lock with an 80's character and the rest of them r……

*looks at a suddenly-transvestite Garuri and a drooling Hokai….Nohaku is off eating dinner-chicken or something me thinks….O.o*

Who……..WHO IS WRITING THIS????

(A/N): Ok, I lied….NO THANKS AT THE BOTTOM! HAHAHHAAAAA *evil laugh*

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

Yep, this was all a ploy to sucker u in for a stupid and lame April Fools Day joke! I got the idea while my mother was getting gas-I think of the stupidest things while bored….

I also thought of a manhole poem….

Heheheh, I dun think me will write THAT down tho….it sorta sickens me now 2 think about it.

REAL CHAP WILL BE POSTED SOON! Dun worry!

Sorry this was stupid! I actually like my 4am CLAMP chap better! HAHAHAAA, a pregnant Nokoru….

Errr whatever, jodan jodan!! Jaa! *V*