Hello to all. This story came into my mind when I was bored during my Humanities class. Because, what better way to spend classes than fantasizing over fanfiction, right?

I hope you enjoy this!

All of this for what?!

It had been a long day, just like every other day. If it wasn't dark spawns, it was a Mage Tower overrun by demons, or little girl in a creepy basements with a creepy talking cat that turned out to be a demon. Honestly, everyone these days seemed to be in dire need of help, and apparently there was no one else in Thedas, aside from the weirdest group of people the Maker had ever seen, who could help.

So, as yet another day of brutal fights came to an end, everyone was eager to look for a nice spot to wash off the sweat and blood from the last battle that had taken place not two hours ago.

Morrigan was quick to head out to find some privacy down at the river. Wynn and Leliana too left to find their private spot on the river. It was the men's turn to set up camp, so Alistair, Zevran, Sten and Oghren stayed behind.

After she was sure everyone was set on their task, Elissa decided it was her time for a well-deserved and much appreciated bath.

Zevran's eyes followed Elissa as she picked up her towel and clean clothing from her bag and started to walk off to find the stream. Just as she was passing by him, he gave her a suggestive grin as he always did when she was off somewhere alone.

Elissa smiled widely, chuckling slightly and shaking her head.

"No," she said without losing her amused smile.

"But my dear Grey Warden," he said in the most innocent voice he could fake, though a child could have seen through his act. "You should not be going alone. There are bandits in these woods. The price for the head of the leader Grey Warden is high. I should know. I could go with you and stand watch just in case."

They heard Alistair snort.

"I bet you will be watching, but not for bandits," he muttered to himself, unaware that his comment had been heard.

Alistair was not aware that this was just playful banter the crow and the warden did constantly to lighten the mood. Of course, Zevran always hoped that someday she would take up his offer, but for now he was more than happy with the friendship the woman offered him.

"I might also take in the scenery if it's beautiful, which I am sure it will be," he said loud enough for Alistair to hear.

The ex-templar scowled at the elf.

"What?" he asked, trying to look like a wounded puppy.

Alistair looked at Elissa indignantly. "You are not really going to let him go with you right? He will be so distracted looking at you that a horde of dark spawns could parade in wearing pink dresses and dance around him, and he wouldn't notice until you both have a blade through you."

Elissa laughed lightly. "Concerned for me, Alistair? Maybe you would like to come and take watch for me while I bathe then? That way you don't have to worry about Zevran molesting me nor pink-dress-wearing dark spawns killing me," she said, teasingly.

Alistair looked as if all the blood from his body had gone to his face. The poor chantry boy looked horrified by the simple thought of it.

Zevran snorted. "He will be so busy covering his eyes and making sure not to look at you, that anyone could sneak up and kill you. And he would not even realize you are dead until Morrigan returns to camp and announces she found your lifeless body was floating down the river!"

"Oh, so what you are saying is that you will be looking at her while she bathes?" Alistair asked, still red as ever.

"But of course! How else will I look after her if I am not looking at her?" asked Zevran, faking exasperation.

"I…you…why am I even talking to you?" asked Alistair, covering his face with one hand.

Elissa laughed whole heartedly.

"Don't worry, my friend," she said, putting a hand on Alistair's shoulder. "I do not need anyone to keep watch for me while I bathe. I can handle a few bandits or dark spawns just fine by myself. And if I need help, I will scream as loud as I can and you can all come to my aid. Alright?"

Alistair took a deep, calming breath and nodded.

"As you wish my fair lady," said Zevran. "If you change your mind and want some company, I will be upstream and ever ready to aid you with whatever whim you have."

"Ugh, you're hopeless," said Alistair as he walked away from the two.

Elissa smiled, glad to be able to do so even in the midst of all the hardships and darkness. With one last smile at the smirking Zevran, Elissa made her way to a spot down the stream. Without a second thought, she stripped herself from her armor and her clothes, and submerged herself in the water. She sighed as the water washed her tense body. She needed a massage. Elissa chuckled remembering Zevran's massage offer. How eager she had been in the back of her mind to receive it, but she knew this would lead to paths she did not wish to take, At the moment at least, she thought with a chuckle. Taking a careful look at her surroundings to make sure no one was around, Elissa relaxed against a rock in the water and closed her eyes for a while.

Zevran's armor and weapons laid abandoned under a tree. He kept a dagger on a small belt tied to his wrist just in case he needed to defend himself on short notice. His entire body was soaked from head to toe. Not one hair had saved itself from the cold water. Zevran had dived into the water as soon as he was naked, which was very fast considering the amount of practice he had in stripping. After scrubbing himself clean he decided to just relax for a while and closed his eyes, allowing himself to float on the water.

A scream like a girlish shriek tore through the darkening sky. Zevran almost went under water as he tried to get on his feet, forgetting he was on deeper waters. Cursing in Antivan, the elf quickly managed to swim to shore. Completely naked and dripping wet, he sprinted downstream towards the scream. It had been Elissa's.

Zevran darted in the direction of the scream, his hand gripping the dagger, ready to cleave it into whoever Elissa's attacker was. He heard running footsteps heading his way. He stopped to see who it was. Zevran's jaw dropped. Elissa was completely naked, dripping wet and running straight at him with the speed of an arrow. He thought he might still be asleep and dreaming, still floating somewhere in the stream or maybe even that he had drowned and was now in some sort of heaven, because what he was seeing looked like it could only happen in one of those occasions. Whichever it was, he would not mind it to continue for a while longer, if not forever.

The three seconds it took Zevran to analyses the situation and the possibility of his death, Elissa, as flustered as she was, did not see the elf in front of her and collided into him like a ramming bull. Zevran lost both his breath and his dagger with the force of the impact. If he had ever doubted a Grey Warden's strength, this was confirmation enough. Both fell, crashing on the ground, Elissa over Zevran.

Elissa shook her head as she looked down. Her eyes, wide with fear, went to the elf's. Zevran was looking at her, a little confused seeing as she was not actually moving from him as expected if she was being chased. She was panting on top of him for a moment while she caught her breath, her nail digging slightly into his shoulders.

"My dear Warden, may I ask what made you run into me like that? Not that I mind having such a beautiful and naked woman on my own naked flesh."

Elissa's eyes widened as she realized that she was indeed naked and so was he. She quickly put her hands on his shoulders to push herself up. But just as she was starting to lift herself, there was a sound of running feet and, at the moment, Alistair broke through the bushes.

"Elissa! Wh-" he stopped abruptly when he noticed he was staring at a nice, round butt. He was about to turn around when he noticed Zevran beneath her.

In all his years of assassination, Zevran had not received such an accusing glare as the one Alistar was shooting at him. Even if the elf found the man ammusing to tease, he did always rmember that he was a Grey Warden, and thus had the strength to tear him in two.

Elissa opened her mouth to speak but no words left her lips. There was really nothing she could think of saying. She looked at Zevran who smirked up at her. Quickly she tried to get up but the sound of more footsteps stopped her. Leliana, Morrigan, Sten, Wynn and Oghren arrived at the scene. Elissa pressed herself against Zevran to cover her body, mainly from the dwarf and qunari's view.

"Alistair, we heard Elissa scream. What happ…" Leliana said swiftly but stopped when she looked over the man's shoulder and saw the two naked youths on the floor.

"Oh my," said Wynn in a very low voice.

"Oh, Elissa…I thought…were you the one who screamed?" asked Leliana with a small laugh that was tilting between amusement and awkwardness.

"Yes, I did scream. But there's no need for any help. I am sorry to have scared you all. You may go now," she said quickly, trying to make her voice sound as calm as possible.

"Heh," laughed Oghren. "You heard the lady. She wants to be left alone with the elf and I don't think any of you actually wish to stay and watch. So if this is it, I am leaving."

"Wait," said Alistair, turning to look at Elissa, then quickly looking away, flinching. "Why did you scream? And why is he here, and naked? Is he holding a dagger under you and forcing you to tell us to leave? Was he the reason you screamed?"

"You wound me, my friend," said Zevran, pulling his hand out to and waving them to him to show that he had nothing. "She came running into my arms by her own accord. I knew she would eventually," he said, smirking provocatively and making the chantry boy blush profusely.

"No! It's not what it looks like!" yelled Elissa, almost crazily.

"So, he did try to force you?" asked Alistair.

"No, he has done nothing to me. I…I am responsible for this."

"And you say 'tis not what it looks like?" asked Morrigan, sarcasm evident in her voice.

"No, it's not. I ran into him, but not on purpose. He was running to my aid, just as you all were, before I crashed against him."

"And why were you running, child? What made you scream?" asked Wynn in her soft, motherly tone.

"N-nothing. I mean, nothing you have to worry about. I'm fine. You can all go now and I can go back for my clothes."

"Oh no," said Morrigan. "We are not leaving 'till you tell us the reason that made you scream and crash into the naked elf. You nearly gave us all a heart attack with the way you shrieked!"

"She is right," said Leliana. "I am curious to know what made our fearless leader scream in terror and run off into the woods naked and unarmed."

Elissa glared at the bard who smiled back innocently. How the Orlesian loved to tease her whenever the opportunity came!

"I… there was…" she sighed in defeat. "There was a mouse…on the rock…where I was resting," she said, bowing her head at the end of the sentence and hiding in Zevran's shoulder in mortification.

There was silence in the party for a long moment.

"A…mouse?" asked Alistair. "You shrieked, went running off naked into the woods, because you saw a mouse?"

Elissa raised her head to look at him, her eyes wide with mortification and distress.

"It climbed onto my shoulder! Then it would not get off when I shook my arm!"

"And… that is why you screamed and ran off naked? A mouse?"

"Yes! A mouse Alistair! I hate mice alright. I am terrified of them! Got a problem with that?"

"But, you confront dark spawns and demons almost on a daily basis. Why would a mouse–"

"That's enough, Alistair," said Wynn, gently placing a hand on the man's shoulder. "Even if we can confront all sorts of dangers, we are not without our fears and weaknesses. Only the Maker is without fear or weakness. We will always have something to face that will make us tremble."

"Don't you mean make us run off naked and into a naked elf?" asked Oghren, laughing at the glare that Elissa sent him.

"That's enough now!" said Wynn with authority in her voice. "All of you, come now and let her retrieve her clothes."

The entire party left quickly, knowing better than to defy the old woman. Wynn may be old, but no one doubted she could pulverize or freeze any of them before they could even draw their own weapons.

When they were alone, Elissa rolled herself away from Zevran, sitting on the ground with her knees against her chest to cover her body.

Zevran sat up and grinned at her.

"A mouse?" he asked amused.

Elissa blushed but smiled slightly while nodding.

Zevran threw his head back as he laughed.

"Really, my dear Warden? A mouse was the cause of all of this? Are you sure you did not just do it so you could have an excuse to run into me like that? You could have simply asked, or not asked at all but take me as you wish. I am your man without reservation, remember?"

Elissa continued to blush but smiled wider now.

"Trust me Zev. The day I want you in my bed you won't have a say in it," she teased.

"I won't have a word against it at all!" he exclaimed playfully. "Now that we are both naked and hot from having our bare flesh pressed against one another for so long, why don't we just return to the stream and finish this the right way, hm?"

Elissa knew what he meant but decided to play along.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," she said as she got to her feet, turning her back on the elf almost immediately.

"Ha ha! Now we are talking!"

Zevran started to follow Elissa but she half turned and pressed a hand against his chest to stop him.

"And just where do you think you are going?" she asked him like a reproaching mother.

Zevran's face was full of confusion.

"I… thought you said we were going to finish this the right way?"

"And we are. The right way would be for you to return to where you came from and I to where I came from, and we both finish bathing, alone."

"We can do it the wrong way then!" he said, chuckling a bit nervously seeing that he was probably going to lose this time, so close he thought he had been.

Elissa smiled an almost wicked grin. The elf did look stunning and inviting, naked, wet and glowing under the moon. But she wanted to tease him. She wanted to be the one to decide when and where the occasion would take place. For now, she would just suppress her own urges and torture the elf a little longer. Her hand slid down the elf's chest with a purposely torturous slow pace, causing a little shiver to run down his spine before she turned and walked away.

"Good night Zev," she called as she walked away.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman!" he exclaimed trying to sound like the victim, but Elissa only chuckled.

Zevran could only stare at the silhouette of her body as it swayed temptingly. He could have sworn she was purposely walking slower just to tease him. He sighed deeply and started to walk back to his part of the stream. He would need a cold bath after this.

So what did you think? I hope it was funny and enjoyable. Any comments, advice, constructive criticism, just a "good", "funny", "meh read better" is appreciated.