Heaven Sent You to Me: Chapter 1

AU: Burt doesn't survive his heart attack. Kurt winds up living with Carole and Finn and doesn't think he'll ever be happy again. That is until he meets Blaine Anderson, the boy who brings music back to his life, laughter back to his face, and love back to his heart.

It had been 4 days, 7 hours and 32 minutes since Kurt Hummel had learned his father was in the hospital. He had suffered a heart attack, the doctors had told him, and Kurt silently cursed his fathers poor eating habits and constant stress. If only he could have seen it coming, he could have prepared for it, could have prevented it somehow. He would have done anything he possibly could so that he wouldn't be where he was now; sitting by Burt's bedside, his father unconscious in a coma, gripping onto his father's hand as if his own life depended on it.

"Just open your eyes, dad," Kurt choked out as he squeezed onto Burt's hand even more tightly, hoping that eventually the hand he was holding would squeeze back. "C'mon. All these doctors are telling me that the longer you stay in this thing the longer it's going to be before you get out of it, if you ever do at all. Prove them wrong, dad. Just open your eyes. For me…. For us." On his last words, his voice broke and a loud sob echoed throughout the very quiet hospital room. The only other noise to be heard was the faint beeping sound of Burt's heart monitors and the constant hissing noise of the respirators letting Kurt know that his dad was still alive, technically anyway. Kurt dropped his head on top of their entwined hands that lie on the hospital bed and sobbed silently.

Ever since his mom had died, Burt was all he had. He remembered walking silently away from his mother's funeral and wanting nothing more than to hold his father's hand. He wanted to know that Burt wouldn't leave him like his mom had. He wanted to feel all the things Burt was feeling and share the pain and heartache with him. He wanted to feel the warmth of Burt's hands and know that Burt would always be there to hold his hand back when he needed it. Kurt had been so close with Elizabeth and he had been so young when she had died, he never believed he'd make it without her. As great a dad as Burt was, is, it would never be the same without her. Burt wasn't exactly home-making material, so Kurt was prepared for the TV dinners, mismatched, discolored clothing and chaotic early mornings they had to look forward to. But sooner than Kurt could ever have imagined, Burt fell into the swing of things. Kurt was actually surprised by how easily he fell into the position of both mom and dad. Though Elizabeth's presence was always missing, Kurt felt safe with Burt, felt comfort in knowing that even if he couldn't have his mom anymore he could still have his dad. Burt would never leave Kurt alone.

Yet now here he is, sitting in a cold, silent, hospital room and hoping against all hope that his father would honor what Kurt expected; that Burt wouldn't die and leave Kurt here alone without any parents. Sure, Kurt had Carole, but it just wasn't the same, could never be the same. Carole and Burt had met a few months ago and had fallen for each other pretty quickly. Kurt could tell just by looking at Carole how much she loved his father, but he also knew that love extended to him, too. Carole simply adored Kurt and had taken him in as her own son, especially over the past few days. He knew that if anything ever happened to Burt, he'd have Carole, he'd never be a real orphan. Orphan. Oh my god.

At around 8 o'clock visiting hours were over and the nurse came in to tell Kurt he had to leave for the night. Kurt was used to this routine by now. He'd been staying at the hospital every possible hour of the day that he was allowed to for the past 4 days. He packed up his things, squeezed Burt's hand one last time, leaned down to kiss his father's forehead and stepped back. He took one last look at Burt. He looked so peaceful, so serene and calm. He looked as though he was finally catching up on all of the sleep he had been missing out on for the past several years. Kurt smiled slightly as tears rolled down his face. He continued to stare at Burt for the next several minutes, trying to memorize every wrinkle of his face, every freckle of his skin, every scarcely-positioned hair on his head. He had done this every night before he left. It was a silent reassurance that just in case anything happened to Burt while Kurt was gone, he'd have a final image of his dad embedded in his memory. He hadn't gotten to do that with his mom, and he wouldn't let Burt leave him like she had. Or, at least, he'd try to memorize everything about him before he did.

Kurt wiped his cheeks, dabbed at the corner of his eyes where new tears had formed without falling, gripped the shoulder strap of his satchel and walked to the hospital door. He turned back one last time to whisper a quiet "I love you, dad. Do it for us." before he turned the cold, metal handle of the doorknob and headed outside.

Kurt's hospital routine continued on in this same fashion for 12 days, 16 hours and 14 minutes. The doctors and nurses would come in and out to check on Burt throughout the course of the day. Kurt would sit back and let them do whatever they needed to, just wanting them to get done as fast as they could and get out so that he could have time with his father. Carole and Finn, her son, also spent a lot of their time in Burt's hospital room. Carole was distraught, though obviously not as devastated as Kurt, and Finn always seemed kind of constipated, his face torn between a frown and a forced smile. Carole and Finn seemed to be walking on eggshells around Kurt, and Kurt knew that, but he was grateful for it. He simply didn't have the energy to put on a facade and pretend everything was going to be okay, especially when he was starting to believe the exact opposite.

He had always believed his dad would never leave, would never do what his mom had, but now he wasn't sure. He wasn't just devastated, he was angry, he was terrified, he was emotionally numb and there was nothing anyone could say or do to make him feel at all better. No matter how much food Carole tried to feed him, or how many awkward jokes Finn tried to tell him, nothing felt normal. Everything felt as if the world was ending with every second that passed. The walls were closing in, the air being sucked out, suffocating him. The smallest sounds were amplified to the loudest noises that were making his brain unable to function. There was nothing to live for if Burt left. He couldn't leave. He just couldn't.

On day 13, hour 4, minute 22, the doctors told Kurt that they believed that since tomorrow would be two weeks since the heart attack and Burt hadn't shown any signs of coming out of the coma, they had lost him. Kurt would have to decide whether or not to leave Burt on the ventilators or shut them off.

Kurt spent that entire day with Burt, sobbing uncontrollably, yelling at him in anger, squeezing his hand as tight as he could in hopes that if he combined the screaming, sobbing and squeezing Burt would finally get the picture and wake up already. Kurt was in physical and emotional agony when he occasionally remembered the decision he was faced with. How could these doctors think he was stable enough to make a decision of this magnitude? How could they possibly even suggest that Kurt be the one who decide whether or not his father lives or dies? How could they think that a teenager would be able to live with making that decision, both currently and in the future? Kurt would ultimately be responsible for his father's death if he decided to pull that plug. How could he ever continue living his life if he made that decision? But then, how could he consider leaving Burt in the condition that he was in? He wasn't really living anymore.

Kurt screamed out in frustration for the hundredth time that day. "H-H-HOW COULD YOU D-DO THIS TO ME?! HOW? YOU H-E-ELD MY H-A-A-AND… YOU TOLD ME THAT IT W-W-WAS YOU… A-A-ND ME… FOREVER. YOU… P-PROMISED ME-E-E THAT YOU WOULD N-NEVER… L-LEAVE ME. I BELIEVED IN YOU, D-A-A-AD… I BELIEVED IN U-US." Kurt was writhing from his sobs. "AND N-N-N-NOW," he paused, took a deep breath and fought to spit out the next words, "NOW I H-HAVE TO… D-DECIDE W-W-WHETHER OR NOT YOU STAY… WITH ME-E-E OR L-LEAVE ME-E FOREVER… L-I-I-I-IKE MO-O-O-M D-D-D-I-I-ID." The next sob was high-pitched and so devastating that a nurse came in from the hallway to console him. "I need… you to call… Carole… Hudson… for me… please", was all Kurt could manage to choke out to the nurse. She quietly nodded, handed him another tissue (as if that would be of any use to him) and walked out to make the call.

A hour or so later Carole arrived at the hospital and ran frantically into the room toward an emotionally shell-shocked Kurt. His hair was a complete mess, his eyes so swollen from crying they might as well have been closed, his face tomato red, most likely from screaming and crying, and the sleeves and collar of his button-down shirt soaked through with his tears. She took in the sight and sighed heavily as tears collected in her eyes. She walked to him and put her arms around him. "Kurt, sweetheart, it's going to be o-" But she was cut off by words so silent, they were barely said at all.

"We're g-g-going to h-have to p-p-pull the p-plug, Carole… Tomorrow."