A/N: Good day, everyone~

This is your beloved, favourite, not at all pissed off vacuum-cleaner (because that VacuumTan-thing seriously started like that)!

From tomorrow on, we're going to visit relatives until Saturday and I won't be back before that. Then, I'll have to study for a maths test and I might be able to update my main story (which has a poll, by the way) in late November or early December. I'm sorry, I've been sick and busy all at once. But I'll make it uber good, okay?

And! You even get this little one-shot! It's just smut because I'm dumb, but that's okay, right? I assume that most of you, my dear readers, are only here for the delicious yaoi anyways. And this even has a little Halloween-background-theme! Also, my first lemon to stay published until it gets freakin' taken down.

The whole household seemed to be busy when Halloween came around. Even though winter came early and harshly that year, everyone wanted to go trick-or-treat-ing, go to parties or upload a few new songs some people wrote for them to celebrate the holiday.

Well, aside from ever grumpy Piko Utatane, who had locked his room's door around noon and refused to leave it, telling everyone that there was no way he would get out of there. What he hadn't realised, however, was, that really everyone was heading out.

Usually at least a few Vocaloids weren't going out with everyone. But now even people like Rion or Aoki had left and only when no one was home anymore Piko came out of his room, content with the way things had turned out.

It wasn't like he disliked the others, they were just many and many people around meant much noise and much noise would wear anyone's patience thin, even that of a humanoid singing-android. Well, and maybe he was a bit anti-social and indifferent, but that was just how he turned out to be. Fortunately, he wasn't amongst the popular part of the household, or else he would have had to have this creators check on him way more often and the people at Sony kind of loathed the character that had developed in that head.

Despite all that he tried getting along with everyone in household. But that didn't mean that he was happy when he found someone sitting in the kitchen while each and every single person should have been out, having fun et cetera.

"Not going out?" he asked and opened the tinted glass door to see that it was Len, cheerfully picking a certain kind of chocolate-bar out of the bowl someone must have prepared for children who dared to walk up to the big mansion that was the Vocaloids' residence.

"Ah, no... Miku-Nee said that the kids who would come here would be sad if no one was there to give them sweets. I really wanted ot go, but Rin can be pretty intimidating from time to time" Len grinned and opened another individual package.

"Cool story, bro" Piko sighed and flopped down into the seat next to the blond. Timidly he reached into the bowl for something that didn't have a pretty wrapper and went for a mint-flavoured toffee. Usually, he wasn't one to eat aside from when he felt social. Being a machine had its quirks after all.

"You really don't like holidays, huh?" the older boy asked and the other gave him a look of mock surprise. "Even on Christmas you were unhappy. One day you're going to end up like that man from that one tale who was visited by all those ghosts!"

Piko let out a half-hearted chuckle. "It's Ebenezer Scrooge and the story is called 'A Christmas Carol'" he explained and took another toffee. "Also, in case you haven't noticed yet, we couldn't die like that, even if we wanted to." The younger shoved the sweet treat into his mouth and felt his teeth sticking together. There was something about those glue-like things that he liked.

"Why can't you stop clinging onto the fact that no one in this house is human?" Len sighed and experimentally took a toffee like the ones the white-haired boy next to him was eating. They had to be something special if the other wasn't complaining about the taste already. The blond put it in his mouth, only to find it glued together by the sweet, unable to fully swallow that taste of burnt sugar mixed with artificial mint. "Eww..."

Another, this time actually bemused, chuckle. "Aw, these things are too good for you to understand that they're that gross kind of delicious, aren't they?" Piko said and propped another one into his mouth. "And that stickiness is awesome."

"That sounds kind of-" Len attempted to reply but was cut off by the sound of the door-bell ringing. Both boys looked at each other for a second before getting up at just the same time, the blond taking the bowl, the younger tagging along.

"Trick or treat!" a little boy and girl shouted in-synch, holding their little bags up so the candy could be placed inside. The elder Vocaloid placed about ten sweets in each child's bag and smiled softly, the boy and girl amazed at how heavy the bags had become. The girl was the one to look into hers first. "Wow! Thank you so much, Onii-Chan!" she laughed and ran off, the boy quickly going after her.

Len closed the door again, looking at the only other person in the entire house. "Is there something on my face?" Piko asked after a few seconds of the other looking at him.

"Hm? Ah, no, I just thought that we could go to my room or something and watch a movie until the next kids come" the blond shrugged and put the bowl next to the door. The temptation to eat more of those sweets was just too big.

"Wanna get all lovey-dovey cuddly or something?" the younger snorted and shook his head slightly. "Well, whatever... I guess" he, in the end, mumbled and almost sneered at the other for making him give in.

However, he was rewarded with a cheery smile and had a hand drag him one floor up in no time. It was odd how happy Len was about having someone watch a movie with him. Until Piko realised that the other was so glad to have him here because he had bought a gorey splatter for Halloween and was too afraid to watch it on his own.

Soon, the blond was clinging onto his white-haired companion, first his hand, then his arm and then his tighs, digging his nails into each and every part of the younger's body he touched. Needless to say, the other watched the movie without great interest, just to distract himself from the other's desperate tries to keep his eyes on the TV. He wasn't doing a very good job at that and surely that was one of the reasons for movies to be 18+.

"That's it!" Piko exclaimed at some point and paused the BluRay, the picture of a few ripped guts stuck on the screen. "If you can't take it, then don't watch it" he complained and turned the TV off with its respective remote.

Len let out a noise of disapproval, crossed his arms and pouted at the younger. "Not turning it back on." He gave him puppy eyes. "No." Trembling bottom-lip. "That doesn't work." Puppy eyes and trembling lip. "Are you serious?" Holding his hands as though he were praying. "Just stop it. Watch a children's movie or something." And that concluded the argument.

"Not fair. I bought it" the blond mumbled and glared at Piko, the dim light making him look a lot smaller and way more hurt than he actually was.

A smirk graced the other's features for a second. Carefully, he leaned towards the older Vocaloid and softly whispered into his ear. "You know, Len-Kun, there's things that I'd rather do than watching a mindless movie..."

The blond stiffened at the other's mocking seduction, slowly turning his face so he could see the white-haired boy's face which was now burried in the crook of his neck, soft breathing that was entirely useless dancing over his skin. "Like... what?" he forced out, his body refusing to do anything.

Fingers were grazing the older boy's throat. "Oh, you know..." was gently breathed next to Len's neck. "Like..." another hand was sliding between his tighs. "Things that require you to move..." was said between touches the younger's lips left on the blond's neck. "Quiet a lot, like..." the hand between Len's tighs was moving a bit, now, the other hand threating into his loose bangs. The older Vocaloid couldn't help the fact that he wasn't able to think straight anymore.

"Playing Wii" Piko finished, pulled his hands back and flopped down next to Len again as though he hadn't done anything to the other at all. The blond looked at the younger in disbelief. Maybe his lack of interaction with the other didn't prepare him for something like this, but he was certainly aware that his non-existant blood was boiling and rushing south at an amazing speed. "Did you expect me to say something else?" the white-haired boy asked innocently.

"Of course not, playing Wii is so much fun" Len groaned and threw his head back, desperately trying to cool down whatever programme that made a useless organ do tricks. Useless for an android, at least.

"I'm sorry, I guess I just wanted to see if I could get you with that" the younger said plainly before shrugging. "If you want something else, then say so. We're alone after all."

It amazed Len how easily the other could offer him such a thing without thinking twice. He guess it must have been that infamous indifference of his. "You're not serious, are you? It's not like I were after that..." the blond pouted.

"It's not like I cared, actually. You can ask the people who check up on me, but I haven't made use of anything below my waistline until now. Nor have I kissed someone. Mostly because I'm not interested" Piko stated and looked at the ceiling. He didn't like the colour the older boy's room had.

"So..." Len began and got on his knees so that he could catch the younger's lips for a quick peck that already cause his entire face to heat up. Or at least get red. Very red.

The white-haired boy blinked before giving the other a dirty look, accompanied by a sly smirk. "I'm pretty sure there's more to that" he said, then threw himself at the older boy, lying on top of him with his arms around the blond's neck.

"Who doesn't care, now?" Len asked, now burried under the younger. Said younger boy found it more convenient to just silence the other by pressing his open mouth against the other's firm lips, only to pry them open without a big fight.

"I could stop at any fucking time" Piko quickly said before kissing the one below him again, his hands traveling over the blond's collarbone and throat, a place he, apparently, liked to touch. Maybe to strangle the other. Just in case.

Len had lost his pants. He wasn't sure why he hadn't noticed that at first, but they were gone. Everything else was still perfectly fine, the hoodie he was wearing looking perfectly fine, but he wasn't wearing any pants. It was slightly disturbing how they could just be taken off without him noticing. His company was currently busying himself with licking somewhere along his neck, but, unlike him, he was still wearing his pants.

"I could still stop" was breathed against a wet spot on Len's neck which made him shiver. It wasn't like it were the first time for him to be forced into the submissive role, but he still wasn't all that happy about it. Usually, he prefered women and it wasn't that easy to be submissive if biology would have had other plans if it were actual humans. But then there were the nights in winter when alcohol seemed to come out of every faucet and things got strange.

Yet, they were both sober and it simply happened. He wasn't expecting Piko to see him as the love of his life after they were done, but it would not cause any harm, and so he just went with it. "You can't stop, though" Len mumbled and the other clicked his tongue.

"Needy bastard" the white-haired boy smirked and looked down on the other. "You do fancy keeping everything but your pants on, right?" he asked, not really wanting to make it any more intimate than it had to be. If he'd lose his virginity like this or some other time didn't matter to him.

"I don't really care" Len shrugged and found the other shrugging as well, quickly getting rid of the blond's underpants. He wasn't shy about it, actually, but was angry at how that annoying mechanism made him... like that. But, he was actually quiet irritated by how someone who had, apparently, never even kissed someone knew what to do in such a situation. He thought it might have been a different programming and that was good enough a reason to him.

Piko's pants were gone quickly and by then he was slightly impatient. He grew even more impatient as the other looked around his southern area, looking for what he needed. What irritated him, however, was the long, black chord that was wrapped around the white-haired boy's leg. It took him a few seconds to realise that it probably was that USB-chord the other usually must have hidden somwhere below his clothes.

The blond was ripped out of his rêverie when a finger was clumsily poking his entrance. It was hard for him not to make any sounds, because his toes wanted to curl into the couch, the floor, hell, anything, at that strange feeling between plain weirdness and pleasure that was shooting through his body, making him spread his legs apart further.

And then the finger was in and Len wanted to kick the other. Apparently, Piko was freaking out already, his expression one of confusion and insecurity. He wondered where that confidence from before had gone off to, because someone had obviously decided not to feed him the whole knowledge. Well, at least he found the hole, so that was right, wasn't it?

"God, Piko... just do whatever feels right..." Len groaned and threw his head back, the younger withdrawing his finger and doing what porn had taught him. Because, being made to look and act like a pre-puberscent little boy made you watch porn, apparently.

But he couldn't help but feel uneasy as he threw his underwear aside, shoved that piece of offending skin away and positioned himself in front of the older's hole. As far as he could tell, he wasn't fully hard or anything, but it had to suffice. And then he just pushed inside. And then he felt like he couldn't only stop but actually just wanted to stop. The lack of not having hormones.

Somehow, the indifference and negativity kicked in as Piko wanted to retreat, followed by the words 'you will not give up, bitch!'. And it just happened, he guessed, as he actually felt the probably heated and cushioned insides of the other. But maybe that was how it was supposed to be.

Len seemed at bit irritated at the other's hesitation and looked at him, as though he were asking him something. As their eyes met, the younger quickly answered. "You know, I just had to find my usual douche of a self again..."

The blond found Piko pulling out, somewhat hesitant, but still doing something at least. As he sheathed himself inside him again he found a slight pain going up his spine and he was lucky that the sensors for these painful things weren't as strong as a human's were.

He wanted to get him to hit that something that usually was hit sometime, at least it had happened at some point with every man he had been with before, and maybe that was why he wrapped his legs around the younger's hips to make him find that spot, wherever that was. And maybe that was also what made the other hit it. And, surely, that was what made the blond boy let out a pleasured moan.

This, again, gave the younger the confidence he needed then, because he kept aiming for what made Len moan, hitting that spot, that sensor, several times, thrusting into the other's walls, picking up speed, and getting sloppy.

The blond sat up a bit and wrapped his arms around Piko's neck, and, as though he suddenly knew what he was doing again, the white-haired boy took the elder's member into his hand and somehow fumbled with it, head, foreskin, base, just doing something.

Both were surprised when it was Len who came first, digging his heels into the plush sofa and pulling his arms around the other tigher and softly groaning into the crook of his neck. Yet, Piko was quick to follow, embarrassed by how clumsy it had been because of him. Maybe that's why he climaxed, merely panting quietly.

And then it was just over. And they knew it had been nothing but embarrassing. And yet that was okay.

They had simply collected their pants, put them back on, cleaned what could still be saved and then just sat there again.

"We're not watching the movie, are we?" Piko asked after a while, his speech way softer than his usual annoyed and cocky tone.

"We would have to watch a thousand of those to get you out of your hole again..." Len commented and looked at his toes.

"I'm sorry..." the younger said and slipped off the couch, his butt hitting the floor with a light thud.

"Let's just go to sleep" the blond suggested and it was the best suggestion of the day.

"Didn't any children come by, Len-Kun?" Luka asked the next morning, her being on of the few sober people in the household. In her hands was the almost full bowl, only Len's favourite chocolate and the mint toffees completely gone.

"I don't know, sorry. I fell asleep pretty early because I was so tired..." the blond boy yawned and the pinkette nodded understandingly, not really expecting the technically elder to lie. "Ah, I gotta check up on something, Nee-Chan!" he said and was already down the stairs.

He knocked against the plainest door in the entire house, just to be greeted by a quick gust of wind and a kick to the stomach. And a very grumpy looking, half-clothed Piko. "What is it? It's only eight in the morning, so you better have a good excuse for me not castrating you."

Len, who had recovered from the assault, looked at the other with a worried expression. "About last night..." and suddenly, the white-haired boy, in all his drowsiness, stiffened.

"I thought no one noticed..." he mumbled and looked back into his room. "Don't tell anyone about the toffees. No one ever eats them anyways, so..." the younger said in a hushed tone, his chord actually swishing a bit behind him as though it were a tail.

"Toffees? I'm talking about what happened in my room!"

"You cried like the pussy you are because you watched that shit movie, big deal. But hey, I even turned off the TV, so you have nothing to complain about. Now kindly fuck off, I won't get up until four in the afternoon" and with that, the door was slammed shut.

Suddenly, SeeU popped up behind Len, a flashlight in her hand. "Oooh, Len-Chan, you summoned the demon of the mansion's cellar! And enraged it! Oooh, I can tell it'll get you! Because it was seriously angry at you falling asleep on him as we came home. We wanted to check up on you and he was there, too. But congratulations, you actually got him out of there for once!" the Korean Vocaloid laughed, clapped the blond on the back and went back to her room.

"Did I... seriously dream about that?" the male Kagamine asked no one in particular.

The reply came in the form of an opeining door and a ball of mint-toffee wrappers.

A/N: Hooray! I just wrote the most unerotic ever. But I'm tired and mint-toffees are the best thing ever. Mint just seems to fit Piko's colour scheme, so there. G'night.