When Merlin heard a knock at the door, her first thought was that Percival hadn't been gone long. Across the table were strewn pots and bottles, each filed with pastes and liquids and powders ground from the herbs the largest knight had taken to gathering for them. Despite Merlin's protests, Percival insisted, saying that Merlin was in no state to be walking such distances, and Gaius had not been able to for a number of years.
Whatever her next thought had been, it was crushed under the sudden weight of indescribable emotion when the door slid open without her call. Bright blue eyes appeared from behind the wood, and for a moment the pair simply gazed at each other.
"Mordred" Merlin managed, her voice shaky and cold. She turned away, hand resting habitually on the swell of her stomach, and busied herself with needlessly organising vials. "Is there something you needed?"
The sound of feet shuffling against the dusty stone floor filled the air and Merlin bit back the urge to snap at Mordred to stay something. She almost gave into the silence when in the corner of her eye a sprig of lavender appeared.
"We've got enough lavender" Merlin told him, staring at them. She knew they weren't for medicine. There was a blue ribbon tying them together. She dared to look at Mordred.
In a voice pained and cautious, Mordred placed the lavender flowers down on the table. "I- I wanted to know if you would like to go for a walk"
Would she?
The Physician's chambers were musky, deep with the scent of contrasting herbs and a window that never opened completely. She'd been in the room for hours now, since she rose that morning and emptied her stomach in a nearby bucket- her mother and Gauis had warned of the sickness that came with pregnancy, but she'd never really considered its impact before now- and felt the undeniable itch under her skin to feel fresh air on her flesh and in her lungs.
Sunlight trickled in from the window, but it was nothing compared to the guarded hope shining in Mordred's large blue eyes.
She smiled and picked up the lavender, smelling it and directing her attention back to the youngest knight. "I'd like that. Everyone here acts like I'm going to snap"
"You won't" Mordred grinned, relief pouring from every inch of him. The woman before him had ignored him for almost a month now. He had missed her voice speaking his name, and the reach of her eyes in his direction. He looked to the door and then back at her like an excited puppy. "Do... do you want to go now? I'm not due to call for another hour, we could-"
Merlin laughed and did something strange. She stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. Her bump prevented a closer embrace, but as the shock faded from Mordred's form it didn't matter.
"I've missed you" He whispered, voice small. "I had feared that you... That you regretted it"
She had for a long time. She had wished that Mordred had never come back to Camelot. But anger was not in Merlin's nature. She was the love to Morgana's hatred, and avoiding Mordred had hurt more than she would ever have admitted. There was no doubt that she would have ignored him much longer, had the knights not been dropping hints.
Mordred's miserable. That boy can barely function let alone hold a sword. I could have taken his head off and he'd have let me he's that out of it.
At first Merlin had breezed away the comments, changing the topic completely. But her boys were nothing but persistent and they cared for their own. At one point Arthur took her aside and ordered her to at least talk to Mordred, as it was painfully obvious to them all that Mordred's affections for her and her avoidance was the cause.
"I can't have my best knights acting like love struck children, Merlin" Arthur groused, arms crossed and glaring up at her. "Just speak to him, once and maybe he'll start acting like a knight again"
It was easy for everyone to forget that Mordred was barely twenty. For so long the youngest of them had been Merlin and Percival at twenty-five. Arthur had scoffed that at Mordred's age he had been crowned prince, and he'd gotten a swat from Gwen for it.
"Not everyone can be you, Arthur" Gwen calmly chided. Gwaine had snorted, making a comment about Arthur's emotionless nature back then, leading an end to their Round Table discussion over Mordred.
Back in the moment, Merlin pulled away and Mordred let her without resistance. "I did" She told him honestly, and then gave him a lop sided smile. "But not anymore. I'm moodier than Arthur, according to Gwaine, at the moment..."
The boy's restraint was admirable and Merlin felt the burning shame for the last few weeks. Mordred hadn't deserved her cold shoulder.
He looked ready to say something but then appeared to change his mind and moved towards the door, a perpetual look of eagerness on his face. "There's a clearing near here, I'm not sure if you've been there before but at this time of year the flowers are beginning to bloom"
Merlin thought she might know it, in fact it was almost certain she did, but the excitement in Mordred's eyes silenced her and she couldn't help but grin widely back at him.
With a flourish she grabbed her shawl from where it rested hooked over the ladder, and swung it over her shoulders. "An hour you said?"
Leon paused on patrol, Sir Llen looking back at him questioningly, when he spotted two dark haired individuals making their way through the crowds of the lower town. The taller of the pair was Merlin, looking radiant in the sunlight and Leon felt a flush of happiness in his chest seeing her.
Next to her, an inch or so shorter, was Mordred dressed in full Camelot armor. Leon knew Mordred was on patrol that day, after Leon's shift in fact, but seeing how elated the lad looked Leon decided it wouldn't hurt to extend his own shift and cover for Mordred.
"Sir?" Sir Llen voiced, his eyes not catching what Leon was looking at.
With a soft smile Leon turned back to his patrol partner and brother in arms, and nodded once. "Nothing, Sir Llen. I'm afraid our shift will be longer today"
The other knight looked mildly annoyed, but made no complaints and for that Leon was glad.
Wading though the thick forest undergrowth, Merlin found herself regretting coming out with Mordred. Despite their initial reconciliation, things had turned sour and awkward between them shortly after leaving the castle.
Neither knew what to say, but there was much hanging between them.
"How is the baby?" Mordred tried, holding back a branch as he stepped over a fallen log. Merlin hummed, and gave a shrug. "Back when I was cared for by the druids, there was a spell to tell the mothers whether they were having a boy or a girl"
Surprise must have shown on Merlin's face, as Mordred latched onto the topic with gusto.
"Old kings used to use it, before Uther's ban, and now its mostly used in the clans. My own mother was said to have performed it herself, even though its not suppose to be performed by the mother. She chose the name Mordred for me immediately when she found out" Mordred told her, pain registering in his eyes for a brief second at the memory of his mother. To the surprise of them both, the topic of Uther faded into the background quickly.
Merlin went to ask him if he knew how to cast it, as she couldn't deny she was curious whether there was a son or a daughter growing inside her, but then they reached the clearing and her breath caught.
No. No she hadn't been here before. Which was unusual, as Merlin prided herself in knowing the surrounding forest well.
Mordred stepped into the clearing, and his movements startled the flowers lifting pollen up into the air. He looked entranced by the flowers, before his eyes caught her's again. They were expected. Hopeful. Cautious.
Merlin's answering smile was a sight he would always remember. Although it wasn't as warm as it looked, the sunlight over Merlin's pale skin made her glow as if she were an angel. Ever still tied up in a messy bun, her pitch black hair reflected the light and in a flash he remembered threading his fingers through it as he kissed her hungrily.
With a flush across his cheeks, Mordred banished the dirty thoughts. It wouldn't do well to start thinking about how that child got inside her in a moment like this, when his every move determined Merlin's mood.
She seemed to notice his blush and gave him a quizzical look.
"You look beautiful" He confessed, echoes of her pleasured cries in his ears. He hadn't asked her like others had, but Mordred was more than certain that he was the father of her child. Merlin was not the type to give herself away, and Mordred had hoped that made him special to her: but of course, there was always the chance that what happened between them was nothing but Luna's Call.
Mordred himself was a Luna Child. His mother and father having never even met before the clans got together for the festival, and the call rang in their souls.
He wondered if Merlin even knew about Luna's Call. He decided to ask her at a later date.
"Flattery" Merlin sniffed playfully, uncertain when complimented. She'd never been able to deal with them. Morgana had encouraged her to accept them, and Gwen had told her she'd give anything to have men so enamored, but Merlin just wanted to be left alone. She walked in a circle around the clearing, listening to the birdsong. "How did you find this place? I've been all over this forest but I've never been here before"
Mordred kept his distance, standing in the middle of the clearing, and shrugged. "I was helping Percival with herb picking when we found it- Its actually where I got the lavender from"
He pointed and Merlin could see a small developing bush on the far side from where she stood. For some reason Merlin had thought Mordred bought the lavender.
"Gwen gave me the ribbon" Mordred told her and everything slotted into place. The pair exchanged rueful looks. Their friends, it seemed, had planned this entire thing and it was not lost on either of them. "I was content to give you your space, but they thought otherwise"
Merlin suddenly could see the image of Mordred being cornered in the armory after training, surrounded by men taller and older than he. She saw it from Mordred's perspective and it was odd to see Gwaine looking down at her: he was taller than Mordred, but shorter than Merlin.
She blinked at him when the images faded and he looked apologetic.
"Sorry, sometimes I can't help it" The knight looked down. Suddenly rage filled her and she marched over to him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. His eyes were wide with shock and- Fear.
"Can't help it? Mordred that is dangerous! What if you did it to Arthur? Or to one of the other knights?" She demanded, furious. Her annoyance only increased when amusement flourished on Mordred's face.
He put his hands over her's and gave her a soft smile. "I can't help it around you. You and other magic users. There's a natural connection with us that I don't have with non-magic users... Growing up with the druids, it's natural and the norm to project. I just forget that you aren't as accustomed to it"
"Oh" Was all she could say.
Mordred continued. "With people not born of magic any mental connection is hard to make. Like pushing through a wall, but not as strong. They're much more locked into themselves than us, not as one with the Earth. Its why they can't access magic like we can"
Arthur was born of magic. Merlin almost told him, but quickly bit her cheek. She wondered internally if that meant Arthur was connected to the world more than others. Not as much as a magic user, but still in tune.
It would make sense-
A snap.
The warlock and the witch tore away from each other and glared around the clearing, eyes fierce as they searched for the potential danger. Mordred unsheathed his sword, although the both knew he wouldn't need it as they were alone.
No sooner had they been alerted to the danger, did Merlin's world begin to blur. To her right she could see Mordred swaying also.
"What a sweet sight" An unfamiliar voice barked out from behind them, and the pair turned so quickly they almost lost their footing. There was a buzzing in Merlin's ears and she wondered if Mordred could hear it too. "Look here boys, a young knight and his lady love- Oh no, a young knight and his lady wife perhaps?"
When did he get so close? Merlin wondered as a rough hand smoothed over her stomach and the bearded face of a man not yet old but not young either bled into her vision. She lazily looked around, feeling the weight of her limbs heavier than usual, and could see men pouring out from the tree line.
One approached Mordred's numb, swaying form and simply plucked the sword from his hand.
And drove it through him.
Merlin cried out and reached for her magic, but like her mind and body it was sluggish and stunted. It would not come to her call no matter how much she could fell it wished to. Her arms flopped over the stranger's shoulders as he held her, grasping out for Mordred as the knight limply fell to the ground.
"Hurt one hair on his head, and I'll wipe you from existence" Merlin slurred to the men. There were four. Or eight... Nine? She couldn't count.
Why was everything so...
I'm so sorry its been so long! I never intended for this much time to have passed, but things in real life have been stressful and hectic. Thank you to everyone for reading this story, and to those of you still interested thank you so much for your patience! This is the first of three chapters you guys will be getting this month, as I promised there will be three and once this story is finished there still WILL be a sequel. When I started this story I had a plan in mind and I'm still sticking to it 3
Again thank you so much for your patience and enjoy x