Every part of my body hurt. My eyes fought to stay open. She'd kept me up all night. But, it wasn't her.

"You look awful." Robin as per his usual self appeared at my side without warning.

"Thanks," I mumbled. He followed me to the kitchen. No words exchanged. I dropped my bag beside the couch. I pulled open the fridge pulling out everything I could hold. Arms filled I took a seat in a stool at the island.

Robin watched me the whole time.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked, shoveling cereal into my mouth.

"Something's wrong."

"Dude, was that suppose to be a question?"

"I know yesterday was really hard for you. Loosing Artemis and all. I saw how it affected you."

I looked down at the small amount of cereal that still remained in the bowl. I tried to steady my breathing, my thoughts. "Yesterday wasn't real." It was the only thing that wouldn't give away everything I was trying to hold in and understand.

"Alright, well I'm going to get some training done." He knew I didn't want to talk.

"Kay."

There was one last look. I tried to ignore it. Then he was gone.

I sat in silence for some time. The pile of empty boxes and bags was growing larger. I could feel my self getting better, not as heavy. My head was a different story though. My dream consumed my mind. I kept hearing her voice ringing in my ears. I wish it would stop. She wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't know why. Or rather, I didn't want to accept the obvious.

"Already eaten half the fridge I see."

I froze.

"You aright there Wally?" her breathless, gravely voice seemed so much more of a thrill in reality then when I imagined it.

I cleared my throat. Don't let on to what you're thinking, I told myself. "Yeah, hey Artemis."

She walked over to the fridge herself, her back towards me. Opening the door, she bent at the waist peering through the racks. I yelled at myself to look away. This wasn't right. She wasn't right. I wanted Megan. I always had. Just because she was with Connor doesn't mean that changes my feeling. It just gives me more obstacles along the way.

Artemis stood up, flicked her hair out of her face. The blonde hair flew gracefully to its rightful place between her shoulder blades. It was a simple gesture, she did all the time. At first I found it irritating, comparing it as an extra distraction that Speedy wouldn't have. Then I found it kind of cute. Now, sitting stock stilling in front of her, face pale, mouth dry, I found it one of the most beautiful sights.

There was a bang. I jumped.

"Alright, spit it out West, what's wrong?" It was a can of pop that she had slammed down. She now stood looking at me. Right hand wrapped around the top of the can. Left hand on her pushed out, jean clad hip. She looked so strong, demanding, beautiful. No. No, her hair flick was beautiful that was it. She was a teammate. A friend. A girl who appeared in my dreams and made me feel like never before. But that wasn't real, as so many things seemed to be lately.

"I guess I'm just still trying to deal with yesterday." It came out before I could stop it. I didn't want to bring it up. Did she even know about how I had acted?

"Yeah, guess it was different then our usual missions."

"How are you doing?"

She stood up straight. Looked down at the blue can. "I'm fine."

"You sure? I mean, you died." Why was I pushing?

"In a dream Wally. I'm a big girl, I don't get scared by dreams."

I wished I could say the same. Right now there was to much weighing on me. "Well if you need anyone, I'm here." Please need me.

"Don't worry, I can take care of my self."

She spun around, hair flicking after her, hips swaying softly. She was killing me. Slowly. Why was I reeling from everything when she was so calm? Why did I want to help her, be close to her when she wanted no one? Why did I even feel this?

Fuck!

The day was long. I tried to act as normal as possible. I didn't want to be asked what was wrong anymore. I wanted to go home. But like every other weekend we were left sitting around in the Mountain waiting and hoping that there was a mission. There wasn't. We had nothing but each other and Black Canary.

Each of us had to meet with her. Talk about yesterday. She tried, really tried to drag out an explanation from me. I wouldn't give it to her though. She wouldn't be able to make anymore sense out of it then I would. I felt drained after her though. I went to my temporary room, saved for long nights and late missions. I laid on the bed, thankful that this place was away from everyone.

I didn't want to sleep. Didn't want to go back to that place that messed with my thoughts. It happened though. Eyes slipped shut. Sleep set in. I dreamed nothing new. There was just relived her disintegration over and over.

It was late when I emerged from my room.

"Hey there you are. I was just leaving." Robin had a black bag slung on his shoulder, almost at the exit.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well Conner took off somewhere a while ago. Megan just left not long ago to look for him. Kaldur wasn't doing to well from yesterday either so he went back to Atlantis. Now I'm going home because I have an essay due tomorrow.

"And Artemis?"

Robin smirked "Don't know. Think she went home. She, uh, didn't seem to have a good time with Black Canary."

"Oh, okay. Well bye Dude."

Robin walked out.

I finally got to go home. Now that I was able to leave I wasn't sure I wanted to. Going back to my parents who would question everything just like everyone else. I walked back to my room. Passing Artemis' door I stopped. I was suddenly filled with anger. Everything I was feeling, everything I couldn't bring myself to do was because of her. I couldn't even be myself, have a normal conversation because of her. I raised my hand. Banged it against the door. A jolt of pain shot up my arm. I leaned my head against the wood. I was shaking.

The door opened. In confusion I stepped back. She stood before me. Eyes red, blood shot, puffed and watery. Her poly tail had become loose. Strands fell around her pale face.

"Wally?" she sniffed. She tried to wipe her eyes quickly with her wrist. I still knew though. Still knew what she had been doing.

"I thought you said you were okay?"

"I am."

I frowned. "Stop!" The anger was swelling again. My voice was to loud.

"Wha…" she stammered.

"Stop this 'I'm tough and don't need anyone act'!"

"What act?" I could see her anger build too.

"Are you seriously going to play innocent? You just answered the damn door in tears and now your going to stand there and say you're fine and nothing is wrong! Again?"

"I am fine Wally!"

"Then why are you crying?" I stopped yelling. I couldn't anymore. That's not what she needed.

"I don't want to talk about it." She turned to go back in her room. My hand stopped the door before it closed.

"Please talk to me."

She looked up at me. Tears were threatening to spill once more. "I can't."

"Why?"

"Wally, just leave it." She turned back into the room. This time, she left the door open. She sat on the green bed. Eyes trained on the floor.

I went in after her. Closed the door. Dragged the blue cushioned chair from the corner over so I could sit in front of her. We just sat there for some time. I knew I had been different since my experience in Megan's mind. I never thought I would see Artemis like this though. She looked so vulnerable. Without thinking I reached foreword and took her hands, clenched in her lap, into one of mine.

"Did anyone care?" Her voice was so soft.

"What do you mean?"

"That I died. Did anyone care?"

She didn't know. Didn't know how I lost it without her. How I had to believe that she was still alive somewhere just to be able to go on. "Oh course. I mean it was because Megan was so upset that we all believed it was real."

"I think Megan would be the only one who really would care."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I guess everything just got me thinking." She slowly raised her shining eyes to mine. She took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something Wally. I know you never wanted me on the team. I know that this is going to give you everything you need to get ride of me but, I just can't keep this in anymore."

"Hey." I squeezed her hands. "That was along time ago. You actually turned out to be pretty useful." I tried to make a joke. A smile touched her lips. "Besides, you're better looking then Speedy anyways."

She actually laughed at that. I tried not to blush. A part of me was embarrassed that I said it. But I had never been nervous about calling a woman beautiful before. Just her. She always changed everything.

"Come one." I squeezed her hands. "You can tell me anything. I'm not going to use it against you. I don't want you to leave."

She took a deep breath. Looked back at the ground, "When everything was over, I started to think of who would care. My mother maybe. She always wants me to have a better life then her. When I was younger I use to think that my family loved each other. When my mother went to jail though, I saw it fall apart. My father left my sister and me alone, coming back to use us for cons. Or my sister if he needed someone 'dealt with'. After my sister left, he wanted me to take over. He wanted me to kill people who got in his way. I went to the people. Told them to get away, but I would never kill. When my father found out he threatened to kill me himself. Green Arrow saved me from him after I ran away. Trained me a little more and then took here, to join the team."

"So, your family are bad guys?" It was a stupid thing to say. It was the only thing I could think of though.

She gave a small awkward laugh. "I guess that's one way of putting it."

"So, they're really bad guys?"

Another deep breath on her part. "My sister is working with my father again. I don't know why but she is. And now both of them are trying to kill me when they get the chance." I felt a warm tear fall on my hand. "My sister and I use to be best friends. She use to protect me from my father when he was angry."

"When is this happening? Why haven't you told us? We could stay with you. Protect you."

"You are always with me when it happens."

"I don't understand."

"My father is Sports Master. My sister is Cheshire."

I wasn't expecting that. It made some sense though. Her determination to keep us away from them, her need to capture them, her comment about being sent to kill me when we lost our memories. All I could do was sit in silence. What was the right response to my family are the psychos who keep trying to kill us all.

"I'm so sorry Wally." She was crying hard now. "I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I didn't trust anyone. I…I know you must hate me…"

I reached forward quickly taking her chin in my free hand and raising her face up to me. "I could never hate you." I moved my hand from her chin, wiping her tears away with my thumb. "It doesn't matter who your family is. We know you. I know you and I know that you are a good person." She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. My stomach clenched with this simple move. She was so beautiful.

Before I could think what I was doing, I had leaned forward. Catching her lips with mine, wanting to know what she really tasted like. She hesitated. I was terrified that I had done something wrong. Then she responded. She untangled her hands from mine. Then they were knotted in my hair, pulling my closer to her. A chill ran my spine. This was better then my dream.

Sliding my tongue along her bottom lip she opened her mouth to allow me access. She mounded softy, falling back on the bed, taking me with her. The feel of her pressed against me answered all questions that had haunted me since yesterday. Her hands ran down my chest, finding the bottom of my t-shirt. I reluctantly pulled away from her lips. My shirt was tossed to the ground. I kissed her lips briefly. I trailed kisses down her neck. She shivered. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt now. Pulling it off slowly as I marveled over every piece of white skin that was revealed to me.

I pulled back to look at her. Small waist. Perfect round breasts pushed out from the dark green bra. Her full lips raw from kissing. Eyes still red. "Artemis, maybe…maybe we should stop."

Her eyes opened quickly. She was confused. She couldn't understand the change, I knew it. "Oh," was all she said. She tried to cover herself. I was still hovering above her. Though my brain told me to giver her space, my body didn't want to loose the feel of hers.

She wasn't looking at me. Her cheeks were now pink. I cursed myself for making it worse, for not being able to bring myself away from her. I was making things worse. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I finally sat up. She pulled herself into a sitting position, holding her knees against her near bear chest.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, I understand." She looked at me, a slight smile. It was coming back, her front of being strong on her own. I would have believed it but I'd seen different. I knew she was hiding.

"Do you?"

"Yes." She reached over to the side of the bed for her top. She grasped it, sat up. I grabbed the shirt, stopping her from putting it on.

"Your upset. I don't want to take advantage."

"Take Advantage? Do you really think that I would to let myself be taken advantage of?"

"I don't know."

"Really 'I don't know'. That's all you can think to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want to tell you what you're suppose to say in these situations. I shouldn't have to talk you though it!"

Are voices were raised again. "I thought I was doing the right thing here. I don't know much about this but I figured that when a girl was just crying her eyes out the first thing you do shouldn't be to rip her clothes off!"

"You're such a geek!"

"How does this make me a geek?"

"Just go Wally!"

"You're extremely frustrating! Do you know that?"

"I'm frustrating? Are you even aware of yourself right now?"

"I'm trying to do the right thing!"

"I don't want you to do the right thing!" Tears were falling quickly down her cheeks. "I don't want you being noble right now." Her voice had dropped.

"I don't want to hurt you." My voice matched hers. Her shirt was dropped to the ground once more. She had never made the effort to put it back on. Leaning forward she crawled towards me. She took my face in her small hands, making sure I was looking her in the eyes.

"Are you only stopping because I'm upset?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me?"

"Yes." Please be real.

"Do you want me even though you know my secrets?"

"Yes."

"Will you still want me tomorrow?"

"Yes." Don't be a dream.

She smiled at me. "Then please don't push me away. I need this. I need you."

I knew I shouldn't. I didn't want her to regret this. But she needed me. All I wanted was to be needed, be there for someone. Better if it was all her. Her kisses were soft, cautious. She was afraid I would pull away again. I should, but it was getting harder and harder to think straight as we once again fell back.

Are tongues were intertwined. She grinded her hips against mine. I knew she could feel how much I truly wanted her. I managed to get my hand behind her back, feeling the metal clasp. I fumbled with it. She smiled against my lips, took pity on me, reaching around to unclasp it herself. I watched her face to make sure everything was alright, pulling the garment down her arms. I lowered my eyes slowly to take her in.

My shaking hand rose to grasp her right breast. It fit perfectly. A small moan escaped her lips. Trailing kisses down her throat, shoulder I came to her breast. She arched as I took the nipple of her neglected breast into my mouth. Pinching, twisting with one hand, licking, sucking with my mouth she softly whispered my name. I needed to feel her lips again. She responded with enthusiasm. My one hand gently caressed her chest.

I moved to the clasp of her jeans. Her hands ran down my back, arms, chest. The clasp let go. I sat up, grasped the waist of her jeans. I looked her in her emerald eyes. I wanted to make sure she was okay. She gave a slight smile. I pulled the jeans down slowly, taking her panties with them.

She lay before me completely bare. She was stunning. "You're so beautiful," I whispered to her. Kissing her quickly to make my point before sitting up again. I parted her legs. I didn't know fully what I was doing. All I wanted was to hear her make all those sounds she was making louder. I got my wish.

She gasped loudly as I pressed my lips to her center. My tongue up and down her opening. I touched a spot that made her buck against my mouth. I held down her hips and licked the bundle of nerves again. I then began to suck.

"Oh God Wally!" the words were gasped, a struggle to get out. She screamed and arched high off the bed. I pulled back slightly and watched as her body jerked. I was astonished. I never thought I would be able to give her that. I wasn't done though. I never gave her time to relax before I once again leaned down between her toned thighs. I licked up her sweet juices.

I had an idea. Stiffening my tongue I pushed it into her. Her voice filled the room again. I moved it in and out slowly, gaining speed. Soon I was moving faster then any normal person. She was panting, screaming, clutching my hair painfully as I felt her nearing another peak. Then she did.

My jeans were painfully tight. I tried to ignore my situation as I raised myself once again to look down at her. I just watched her for some time. Her eyes eventually opened to look at me kneeling between her legs. She sat up swiftly. Another kiss. Her hands moved down to the buckle of my jeans. I caught her wrist.

"Are you sure?" I breathed.

"Yes."

I noticed her hands were unsteady as she finally released me from my confines. She took me gently in her hand. My head fell back, my breathing harsh. Her hand moved hesitantly up and down my length. I moved her hand off of me, my body protested.

"Have you ever…" I couldn't bring myself to finish.

Eyes cast down, "No."

I smiled. "Really?"

"No I'm lying because I thought that would be the best thing to do after all this truth telling?"

I laughed a little. Without another word I pushed her back. Kicked off my pants. Rubbing myself against her, then slowly pushing inside. The feel of her around me was amazing. I was surprised to feel no resistance, looking at her face though I knew there was pain. Her nails were dug into my arms.

"You okay beautiful."

"I'm okay. Just move."

I did as she said. Pulling out slightly, pushing back in the pleasure spiked through me. I moved as slowly as I could for her. Then she was breathing heavily again, meeting each of my movements. I speed up slightly when I knew her pain was gone. Her legs moved up and wrapped themselves around my waist. I slipped deeper into her. We both moaned out. I was determined to stay slow. I wanted her to remember this without any regret. I wanted her to know how fully I cared about her. I did care for her. She was something that I never believe would happen to me.

Our lips hardly left each other's. Her nails had moved from my arms to my back, dragging them down, pulling me into her. I was getting closer. I would not let myself come without her. I reached between us. I found the spot that had made her come undone before. I started to rub it in time with my movements.

She pulled back from my lips. I lay my forehead against hers. "Wally, I…I think…" She screamed out my name louder then she had before. I felt her inner walls clench around me. It was all it took for me to loose myself in her. I called out her name as she had mine.

I collapsed. My arms to weak to hold myself off her as I had wanted. She didn't seem to mind though. I felt her kissing my ear softly, nuzzling into me. I smiled at this soft gesture. Raising myself for yet another kiss. I rolled over, taking her with me.

Her head lay on my heart. It beat quickly. Our hands were intertwined over my stomach.

"Thanks." I heard her voice break through the silence.

"For what?"

"For saving me."

"Saving you? From what?"

"Myself." There was a pause. "You were the only one I was truly afraid to tell about my past. You're the only one who I care what they think. I was so afraid you would turn on me. It was killing me, keeping this all in, keeping it away from you. I don't have that guilt now or that fear. I feel comfortable and happy."

"Do you really think I would have turned on you?"

She nuzzled deeper into me. "Well you never wanted me."

"I snapped."

"What?"

"When you died in that exercise yesterday. I couldn't take it. I was hysterical. When we found Manhunter and I thought there maybe a chance to see you again, I was determined. It sounds awful, but I forgot about every other person who was trapped. The only one I wanted was you, safe and with me again. When Robin told me that you were really gone I gave up. When I died in that dream I was fine with it because I couldn't imagine being able to go on without you."

"Wally?" She moved onto her elbows so she was looking at me. I couldn't move my gaze from the ceiling.

"Yeah?"

"Did you really feel that?"

The ceiling became less interesting. "No, I'm lying because I thought that would be the bet thing to do." I smiled. She swatted my chest.

I took a breath. "I did feel that. Because, well…I love you Artemis."

The tears were back again. "I love you, too."