Me: Hi, this is a random fanfic (probably rather disturbing—it contains suggestions of cannibalism 0.0). Really, it's just me venting about my anger and dislike for our program this year. It's. So. Freaking. Annoying.

Spock: It really is. She almost bit my head off when I commented on how amusing it was that she—a night owl, as she has put it—had to get up at approximately 5:30 every morning.

Me: Shut up. So, anyone from the Marching Colts? If ya are, betcha can't guess who I am! *smirks*

Spock: SHE'S—

Me: *puts hand over mouth* *whispering* Shut up!

Spock: *mumbling noises*

Me: Anyway, I don't own "Castaway: Featuring Wilson". Thank God. DISCLAIMED, PEOPLE!

Finally! I'm off the island! Wilson thinks happily. Those cannibals didn't get me. Although…my fiancée…I could have joined her… Then…that blöd (1) cannibal—who chased him off the stupid island—popped up behind him.

"ARGH!" Wilson turns to run—only to be grabbed from behind.

"WILSON!" roars the cannibal—Wilson, oddly enough, suddenly decides to name her Jamie (2).

Wilson shudders. "W-what do you want?" he whimpers.

"You know that I can speak English, right?" asks Jamie.

"So, Jamie, did you have fun chasing Josh (3) off the field?"

She nods.

~Page Break~ ~Or, what happened in Wilson-verse~

The Cannibal!Jamie opens her mouth. The smell of human flesh—rotting human flesh—comes out. It's…nauseating. Disgusting. Revolting.

Wilson blacks out, and drifts in a sea of memories—dancing with his fiancée, planning their wedding together…

He never wakes up.

Me: So….slightly more morbid than my usual writing, yes? Yes.

Spock: Very much so.

Me: So, yeah….Review, please?

(1) Translated from German, it means "dumb" or "stupid".

(2) A Color Guard member who chased "Wilson" off the field. ...I think it was Jamie, anyway... I'm not good with names.

(3) He "played" Wilson.