Ask Me What I Want

Summary: He wanted so many things at that moment. Mostly he just wanted to disappear, just for a second. Janto, Missing Scene for Exit Wounds.

A/N: Yep, I was watching Exit Wounds again and decided I wanted a Janto scene at the end.

Enjoy the Story!

Ianto stood there shocked. He stared at Tosh's computer screen, trying not to fully break down. His best friend was now dead and her last words to them were filled with so much self-doubt. Something Ianto had witnessed over too many chinese take-out containers. And here, next to him Jack was telling him and Gwen that they will carry on. Ianto knows that Jack means in Owen and Tosh's memory, but he just wanted to pull away. Just for a bit, just to process what has just happened, just for a second.

Ianto shared Gwen's sentiment of " I don't think I can, not after this." But Jack pulls Gwen in close, reassured her that she can. Jack placed a hand on his shoulder and tells them that, " We all can." That " The end is where we started from."

Jack is the first to move away, Gwen following close behind, heading up to Jack's office. But Ianto doesn't move, not for a while and when he does; it's not to join the others upstairs. No, Ianto walks briskly to the lift, he needed to get out of there; and by time either of the others notice that Ianto hasn't joined them the lift is too high up for Jack to pause it safely enough to bring Ianto back down.

" Gwen, I want eyes on Ianto. " Jack ordered. " I need to know where he's going!"

Jack raced out of the Hub as quickly as possible. He knew he should have grabbed Ianto's hand and pulled him along to his office when first noticed Ianto hadn't moved. He should have pulled him close to him and comforted him just as he did Gwen. Then maybe Ianto wouldn't be who knows where.

He rounded the corner and onto the plass only moments later, but he didn't need Gwen to tell him that Ianto was still on the lift, just staring straight ahead. Jack had already saw him. Ianto was just watching the other people dawdling about. Jack didn't scream out to his lover. He just walked slowly to the lift, took Ianto's hand in his and pulled him off and into his arms.

" Ianto..." Jack sighed, pressing a kiss to Ianto's forehead.

" I just wanted to see. I just wanted..." Ianto's voice cracked under the pressure of the emotions he was trying to hide.

" Come on Yan, don't do this. Don't hide behind a mask, not with me." Jack whispered in Ianto's ear; softly ordering the other man to break. " I know, Ianto, I know I said we would carry on. And we will but not by hiding behind masks and pushing aside the sacrifice Owen and Tosh gave."

" I don't believe I can this time, Jack." Ianto murmured, trying to push away from Jack. Only the older man wouldn't let go, he held onto Ianto tighter. Afraid that if he let his lover leave his arms he may never come back.

" Who was it who told me that we have to break and fall to pieces before we can rebuild and become something stronger. It was you." Jack accused, trying to make Ianto stop pushing away from him. " You told me this and I will not let you run. I will not give you that choice, do you know why?"

Ianto chuckled bitterly before answering. " Because that would make me a hypocrite?"

Jack pushed Ianto back a few inches and forced the other man to look him in the eye. " Truthfully, yes. It would make our loss of Tosh and Owen meaningless. It would seem as if we didn't give a damn that they died, that we didn't care if we hid and continued to live behind well placed masks now."

It started with one tear that multiplied quickly and suddenly into steady streams down Ianto's cheeks. Jack couldn't help but draw his lover back into his arms again, letting Ianto's tears soak into his greatcoat. But even after what he just said, Jack was still going to give his lover an option. " What do you want, Ianto?"

" A pocket full of posey." Ianto whispers and Jack can't help but agree with him. Something to sweeten the air after all the disease, death and decay; to ward off anything else tragic.

A ring around the rosies. A pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes. We all fall down.

END