The bell tolls, marking two o'clock

Never before had that been a significant time

I notice it now

I'd never noticed two o'clock before

A weight hangs over me as I watch the wooden box

Does it really have him in it?

I want to run up, pound on the lid, and tear it open.

Why is he in a box?

I feel like a child that wants to know what is beneath the wrapping of a present

A part of me is curious

A part of me wants to lift up the wrapping paper

But a part of me knows.

Knows what is beneath the lid.

Knows that he will be lying there

How could it have happened to him?

He was meant to regenerate, live, move on

Not lie with pale milky white skin

Looking up at a never-ending darkness

Four years

That was all I had had

Not enough to start a life

He hadn't even known me the way that he had

He was still the Doctor, but he wasn't the Doctor.

He was a copy, a clone

He was everything the Doctor had been, but there was something missing

Perhaps I had never been able to think of him as the Doctor

And that led him to be less like the Doctor

He had been my responsibility

And I had let him go

I hadn't loved him the way I'd loved the Doctor.

I had loved him, oh how I had loved him,

But I had loved the Doctor

The part of him that was something else

That was harder to love

And now all that was left of him was a pressed suit in a dusty box

I should have loved him more

I should have tried

I should never have let him stay

He hadn't even gone glamorously

Not the way he'd have wanted

Not in battle

Not defending anyone

Not saving lives

Crossing the street.

That was all it took.

The bravest man, taken out by a drunk driver

The third time I had lost the Doctor

It was forever

And I am a shadow of who I was, a fragment of the Rose the Doctor knew.

If he saw me today he wouldn't recognise me

The Doctor I was left with

Was gone

The Doctor who had left me

Was gone

I had loved them. I had loved them both.

I had loved them with my torn-up heart

My expired love.