Chapter 8: The Truth

(Peeta's POV)

He was pretty sure that when Katniss walked into the library his heart stopped beating.

Well, for a second at least.

He hadn't even bothered to look at all of the recipients of the email his classmate had sent out earlier that day. If he had, he would have known to expect to see Katniss Everdeen walking into the library twenty minutes late with bed head and in sweat pants.

But even then he wasn't sure if he would have done anything differently.

Of course she was the Black Widow from Halloween; he knew it and she knew it. The truth was staring them both straight in the face and yet neither of them could do anything about it. When Gale had casually mentioned his friend Katniss had been at their party he had almost said something.

Almost.

However, she had made it clear that their Halloween fling was a one night thing. He had been heartbroken when she had left that night. Sometimes when he was sitting on the living room couch he would look out onto the porch in hopes to see her coming up the steps. He pictured her knocking on his door and asking if she could have those pancakes now.

But she never did.

It had been over a month; finals for first semester would be starting soon and then they would be off for almost five weeks. After that, he wasn't sure what would happen. When their group leader asked him to go to the reference section to start looking for sources with her, he knew he had to do something.

She trudged through the aisles towards the area they needed to use, fiddling with the end of the sweatshirt she had pulled over her hands. Bits of snow in her hair had turned to droplets of water and he wanted to brush them away and touch the soft strands again. He wanted to stop her there and push her up against the stacks and kiss her as passionately as he had that night.

That night when he had a mask on and it had been allowed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and kept walking beside her. Even a blind man would know it was her; the flowery scent of her shampoo was strengthened due to the damp snow melting against her braid, and it was the same scent that had lingered on his pillow for a few weeks after Halloween. He had finally caved and washed it to be hygienic, but he still wished it smelled like her.

"So….what did we decided to this project on?" she finally mumbled.

Peeta blanked for a second before spitting out the topic from the corners of his mind. "Estimating export demand and supply functions," he said finally. "Sounds great, huh?"

"I guess."

"We just picked it from a list of suggested topics," he admitted. "You didn't miss much."

"Oh, yeah," she said, pausing in the middle of the aisles. "Sorry about that, I was just…napping and overslept."

"Ah," he said awkwardly, mentally kicking himself. This was the point where he should have said something smooth and clever that swept her off her feet. Instead he just shoved his hands into his pockets and bit his lip.

You're an idiot, Mellark, he thought to himself.

Instead though, they went their separate ways and began hunting through the information and books. He peered through the book and spied her on the other side, her grey eyes scanning the spines of the books. He sighed. He had chickened out. Again.

The minutes ticked by until they turned into hours. Still, he found himself too nervously tongue tied to say a word to the girl who was only one stack over. He could hear her flipping through the pages as she searched for information on their project; she was so close. All he had to do was walk over to her and…and say what? I know it was you at the party. Please talk to me; I think I might be in love with you. Oh and P.S., I still want to make you pancakes.

He shook his head at himself as he flipped through another page. It was useless.

"Peeta?"

Her voice cut through his thoughts, making him jerk his head up. Katniss was standing at the end of the aisle, peering down at him. "It's after midnight…we should go see what the rest of the group is up to I think," she said softly.

"Oh, uh…yeah. Sure. Let me put these back," he said quietly as he stood. His legs ached from being crouched on the floor for so long, and he felt his cheeks turn slightly pink as he made his was over to her. She avoided his eyes, instead hauling a stack of books with her.

"Oh, let me get those," he said quickly, taking them from her arms. She looked like she was going to protest, but instead gave him a whisper of a smile.

"Thanks."

They returned to their group and parted ways. It was almost finals time at school, so the library was still fairly busy. They worked until almost one in the morning before people started dozing off at the table. By the time they called it a night, Peeta still battling with himself whether or not to say something to Katniss. He watched her stand from the table and brush her braid behind her back. She pulled her coat on and slung her heavy back pack over her shoulders before turning and trudging out of the library into the wintery evening. Peeta glanced around nervously, knowing that this was it. This was his chance. He stuffed his books in his bag and took off through the doors to follow her. The door she had left through led straight to the quad, and he knew he had to catch up with her quickly since he had no idea where she lived. Once outside he looked around frantically to find her in the dimly lit space in the middle of campus. There weren't many people out that time of night, so she wasn't difficult to spot.

"Katniss!" he called out, starting to run. He slid a few times in the still-falling snow, hurrying along the sidewalk towards her form. She paused her gait ahead of him and turned around with a confused look. Her face paled a little when she saw him run up to her.

"Katniss! Wait up," he panted, sliding to a halt in front of her.

"Peeta…did you forget something?"

He took a few raspy breaths of cold air as he tried to catch his breath. "Yeah…yes, I mean. I forgot something," he panted. Without pausing, he reached over and lightly grasped her face and planted a deep, longing kiss on her chilly lips. He expected her to take a swing at him or at least push him away, but she didn't.

She kissed him back.

He broke away slowly, carefully watching her face. Snowflakes fell on her cheeks only to melt seconds later as her bright grey eyes stared up at him. Peeta reached down and took her cold hands in his. "You didn't come back for those pancakes."

Katniss let out a shaky breath. "I know. I didn't know what to say."

He stepped closer to her as he gripped her hands, his breath coming out in puffs of white clouds. "I wanted you to come back and tell me that you wanted to see me again…and that you wanted pancakes, and…and that you wanted to stay. I…I wanted you to stay so badly that night but I just couldn't…."

"I know, I wanted to stay too but…I just couldn't. Please, I…."

"Why?"

"I can't afford to get involved with someone just to…just to lose them. I didn't want things to be messy-"

"Things between us wouldn't be messy though, don't you see?" He laughed. "I…I've watched you every day for almost four years now. When I got to finally talk to you and…and well, everything else I knew you were exactly what I wanted. What I still want. Katniss, please."

She watched him with wide eyes. "You…you do?"

He nodded. "Just give me a chance. I can't not know what it's like to at least try with you. Just one chance."

Katniss sighed, chewing her lip for a second before reaching up and brushing the snow from his hair. "I almost came back so many times to tell you the same thing."

"Really?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," she laughed. "I want to try too, Peeta. I really do."

Peeta wasted no more time. He took Katniss in his arms and planted a deep, passionate kiss on her lips and tried to convey everything his words could not. When they broke apart, they both laughed for a second at their own sheer stubbornness and stupidity.

"Come to my house tonight. Please?" he begged. "I just want to hang out with you; nothing else."

She raised a dark eyebrow at him. "Really? Because tomorrow morning I'm definitely gonna want those pancakes."

He grinned and pulled her in for another kiss. "Deal."

THE END

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed my little short story! : )