My values are changing. Perhaps, my world has also changed. If so, the one who changed it was—
.
.
1st — Yoshida Haru
2nd — Mizutani Shizuku
"Hey, look! It's Yoshida and his girlfriend again."
"Really?"
Shizuku ignored everyone around her and calmly walked back to her class, her hand gathering her belongings with its own mind when she arrived at her table.
Her name had miraculously been forgotten and she had been officially known as Yoshida's girlfriend by the majority of the school population thanks to Haru's not-so-subtle-and-very-consistent declaration in the first few days after they decided to go out. Also, this wasn't the first time this ranking happened — Shizuku wouldn't know what exactly was the number of time because she didn't want to count how many time Haru actually beat her in tests.
Still, something wasn't quite right.
As if on cue, Haru rushed from his class into hers, ever so energetic and ready to go as always, "Shizuku~!"
Shizuku glared at him, not subtle, but Haru didn't seem to notice.
"Let's go." she said and started heading out before Haru could ever say anything besides her name.
It was quite frustrating how Haru could easily catch up with her even though she already walked to one building ahead of him and how he could easily surpass the result of her study without even reading a single thing (except manga, perhaps) just because he happened to already memorize every high school material at the time he didn't come to school.
This world's not fair at all.
"Oi, oi, Shizuku! You're not going to the library?" Haru asked when he actually caught up and he continued after seeing her quizzical expression, "I don't understand it either but you always go straight to study everytime after the scores come out." he unconsciously scratched his head, a bit confused by her action.
After all the time they had known each other, Shizuku still wondered what exactly was in Haru's brain and sometimes she just wanted to punch him for being so exceptionally oblivious especially when it came to all the obvious things but this time, the fact that her legs didn't bring her to the direction of the library, not even close, confused Shizuku as well.
Never one to worry about trivial things, Haru casually went on, "Well, that's good too. Where do you wanna go then?"
Ignoring his question, Shizuku tried to find some answers to satisfy herself but it felt like something in her brain had snapped so she stopped, meaning to just let it go and tell Haru that he should go without her because she was going to study and study and she meant study — because she was the one who scored lower.
"Haru—" and that was her resolve until,
"I don't mind as long as you're with me." Haru ended his sentence smoothly with a smile.
Shizuku didn't want to even think about it but Haru's smile always attacked her senses, one way or another, when it was given directly to her and only her. She could only think this is bad and always found herself hesitant. Most of the time, her conscious mind won over but unfortunately, recently it had not.
Really, nothing's fair in love and study.
Shizuku averted her gaze from Haru and said quietly, "I'll just go home today."
Haru tilted his head to a side but nodded at her anyways. Both of them kept walking and when they passed the school gate, they were already holding hands as Haru started talking about some random things that happened today in his class.
Everything between them came more naturally these days.
Shizuku remembered what her mother said and she had meant to keep following it — working twice as hard for both study and love.
But despite her mother's words, lately that balance seemed off. Of course, she still studied as much as she could and wanted to be the best and nothing else. The problem was that she wasn't as frustrated or annoyed as before when Haru's score was higher than her own. And it wasn't because she had given up or because she couldn't beat him.
It was because he was Haru.
It was because she made the right decision.
Sometimes thinking about Haru or even looking at his smile hurt her inside and Shizuku could never properly handle it — this falling in love feeling. Sometimes she really thought that it was okay to stop studying more often and just be with him.
Even though there were times they didn't understand each other and she still didn't know exactly what all this relationship thing was about, everyone could see and deep down Shizuku also knew, crystal clear, that Haru loved her, even more than she loved him. Everything he'd said and done couldn't be mistaken otherwise. But sometimes she was scared that if she really let love win over and let Haru be the most important thing in her life, she would have nothing to turn to if he wasn't here with her anymore.
Being let down and left alone by the ones she loved most like that, Shizuku was so scared she wouldn't be able to take it twice.
"Shizuku?"
Haru's voice brought Shizuku out of her thought. At the same time, she noticed that she had squeezed his hand tightly while she was thinking and quickly released it. Haru just kept staring at her, obviously confused and a bit concerned.
Not wanting to stay silent or answer any questions that would surely come from Haru, Shizuku simply voiced the first thing that came to her mind, "I'll go to the library tomorrow."
Haru raised an eyebrow as if anticipating something more to come then nodded slightly as they arrived at half-way of the stairs to her house.
Normally, Shizuku's previous sentence would mean this is it for today and we might not see each other tomorrow because even if you're my boyfriend, I have to study but it didn't help that despite it all, she still wanted to see him — today, tomorrow, forever. So before Haru could turn back and leave, Shizuku added rather curtly.
"Will you go with me?"
And now, Haru was totally astonished. Due to the great difference between their heights, he hunched over and lowered his face until it was level with hers. Shizuku flinched slightly and instinctively moved back away from his intrusion, to no avail because he already had his hands on her shoulders. Her heart started pounding wildly as his eyes bore into hers.
"Oi, Shizuku, are you sick or something?" he asked, earnestly.
"W-What?" was all she could manage after her brain finally registered what he had just said.
Haru frowned as he scrutinized her, his face coming closer and closer as he explained, "Today you didn't study after school and then you invited me to the library. I think you should get some rest—"
"No, I'm fine, really." Shizuku cut him off before asking again, more confidently this time, "Will you go to the library with me?"
There were a few seconds of silence and pure staring before Haru released her and answered right away with a dazzling smile on his face, "Of course! If you want me to."
Just then, it was that feeling again and despite herself, Shizuku blushed. She gave him a curt nod, looking away at the sky and mumbled tentatively, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." before quickly turning back.
"Shizuku." Haru said as soon as she started walking away.
"Wha—"
Swiftly and suddenly, Shizuku found herself staring straight into Haru's dark eyes which were mere centimeters away before one of his hand rose up to cup her cheek and their lips met in a sweet, tentative kiss which still made her tremble inside even after he pulled away.
"See ya." Haru simply said and smiled then began walking down the stairs.
Yes, sometimes Shizuku felt uncertain and sometimes she was scared.
But most of the time, just like this one — when those warm feelings still lingered on her lips and in her heart, when his eyes and his smile silently and sincerely voiced everything words could never express, all her doubts and questions suddenly vanished. Shizuku remembered exactly why she would keep going on — why it was okay to give her all for both things and do what her heart really wanted to.
Because he was—
"Haru!" Shizuku called out, her cheeks tinted red.
Haru looked up as if he had already expected her, his gaze holding hers and everything they wanted seemed to be said through their eyes in that moment as the wind blew gently and seconds passed by in complete silence between the two them.
"I.. " Shizuku finally began, her own voice a bit strange in her ears. But then, she ended it with only her usual farewell, "Call me when you're home, okay?"
Haru nodded and grinned.
Shizuku smiled.
.
.
I'm glad we met. I love you.