Begin Again

Took a deep breath in the mirror, he didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do, turn the lock and put my headphones on,he always said he didn't get this song, but I do

I stared at myself in the mirror, my brown hair falling past my shoulders, contrasting against my white cardigan. Looking up I smiled, my first date in 8 months and I was excited. Taking a step back I realised I was wearing flats, it was so natural to wear flats, he'd always hated me wearing heels. I put on some lip gloss, change into some black pumps and grabbed my car keys. In the car my favourite song came on, it was so meaningful. Ron never understood it. The drive to restaurant was fast.

Walked in expecting you'd be late, but you got here early and you stand and wave, I walk to you, you pull my chair out and help me in, and you don't know how nice that is, but I do

After parking I realised I was early and would probably be waiting for a while, I once waited half an hour for Ron, nearly left. Opening the door to the restaurant, I saw you and you saw me, you smiled and waved and I was surprised. I walked over you told me how beautiful I was, as you pulled out my chair for me, Ron never did that, you took my hand as I sat down, it felt so nice. You probably didn't even realise how nice it felt.
And you throw your head back laughing, like a little kid, I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause,he never did.

The conversation is easy with you, not forced. At one point in our conversation I made a joke, I was also cautious to do that around Ron, you laughed so loud, your head went backwards reminded me of something my little cousin did. It's strange that you think I'm funny, Ron never did.

I've been spending the last 8 months,thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Wednesday in a café, I watched it begin again.

It was a Wednesday and I was sat in a café thinking of the last 8 months and how my last relationship had made me think of how all love ever did end, break and burn. Just like my parents. You were sat with your friends Blaise and Theo taking about your next round of golf, I know that because you were all very loud and that's why I noticed you. I met your eyes and you came over to talk to me, First you apologised, then came the charm and you made me laugh, I asked you to sit and you did.

You said you never met one girl who, had as many James Taylor records as you, but I do. We tell stories and you don't know why, I'm coming off a little shy, but I do.

You looked over and saw that my IPod was still playing you pointed out that James Taylor was playing and said you loved him and had so many of his records. I showed you the songs of his I had on my IPod and said that I had actual vinyl James Taylor records at home. You were so impressed. I was surprised you could see my IPod through your blonde which was covering your silver eyes. In our first conversation you asked why I was shy. I never answered. I was sky because Ron made me insecure about the prospect of love.

And you throw your head back laughing, like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did I've been spending the last 8 months, thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Wednesday in a café I watched it begin again.

And there you were again laughing like my 4 year old cousin, making me forget about the last 8 months of my life and I could feel my life starting again.

And we walked down the block, to my car, and I almost brought him up, but you start to talk about the movies, that your family watches every single Christmas, and I want to talk about that, and for the first time, what's past is past.

After our dinner you walked me to my car, on the way it was quiet, almost awkward. I was so close to bringing up Ron. Just as I was about to you started talking again. It was random, you started talking about Christmas and that you and your family always watched 'The Grinch' even though you are 25 and I didn't want to talk about Ron any more I wanted to talk about Christmas and your family and for the first time in a while the past was the past.

But on a Wednesday in a café
I watched it begin again

My Darling Draco,

With this letter you will find the first song I ever wrote about you, with annotations explaining every single line. I hope this gives you comfort in your time away, war is a horrid thing. I want you to know you saved me and I hope this will save you.

With Love

Hermione