Chapter 1

It was a normal morning in the Nordic household. Well, as normal as it could get before 9 a.m. Sweden and Norway were out, Sweden walking Hanatamago and Norway… well, nobody really knew where Norway was. They would never say it to his face, but they were thankful for that, because however violent he could be most of the time, he was extra violent in the morning. Especially when he hadn't had at least five cups of coffee.

And it was there that the remaining Nordics, Denmark, Iceland, and Finland, ran into a problem.

They were completely out of coffee.

This might not seem like a complete crisis, but don't judge unless you've spoken to Sweden, Norway, or Denmark in the morning without them being almost high on caffeine.

Finland was the first to unearth this problem. Being an early riser, he walked (slightly zombie-like) to the kitchen, only to discover that their supply of coffee had completely, figuratively and literally, run dry.

Say what you want about Finland's secret badass-ness, but the shriek he let out then was fit only for a six-year old girl.

"Denmark! Iceland! Get down here!"

The two summoned countries ran into the kitchen as fast as they could, thinking that either there was a dead body in the kitchen, or Norway was smiling willingly.

As it turns out, this dilemma was worse. (Not that Norway smiling was a bad thing, but it would probably end up in him trying to strangle Denmark after he tried to take a picture.)

"We're completely out of coffee!"

"What?"

Yep. Certainly worse than finding a dead body in the kitchen.

"How can we be out of coffee? Didn't we just buy enough to last at least a month? It's only been a week," said Iceland.

"Apparently some people," said Finland, with a pointed look at Denmark, who seemed to be in shock, "are taking more than they should."

"Hey, don't look at me! I couldn't take more than my share if I tried! You know Sweden and Norge are always in the kitchen when I am and would kill me if I tried," retorted Denmark. "And besides, I didn't drink any yesterday!"

"Because you were passed out on the floor, drunk."

"What's your point?"

"Alright, alright, we know that Denmark's a raging alcoholic. We're out of coffee, so obviously we should just go buy some, right?" said Iceland, attempting to break up the exchange that would almost certainly end in Denmark getting knocked out with a baking pan if left alone. "Let's just go to the store and get coffee before Norway and Sweden come back and kill us all!"

"Hey, that's a good idea, Ice! Why didn't I think of that?" exclaimed Denmark.

Because you're an idiot, thought Iceland.

"So, let's go! Right now! I'm not drunk enough that I don't need caffeine!"

"But… we're not dressed! And I'm not even sure that the store's even open!" reasoned Finland, trying and failing to get the spiky-haired nation out of his "determined" mood. Nice try, Finland. When coffee's involved, Denmark will go through atomic bombs and burning buildings.

"No! Right now! I need caffeine! Let's go!"

They started towards the door, Denmark in his deranged state, Finland walking carefully behind him, and Iceland trailing behind wondering how he even knew these people.

"Oh, by the way, Finland, I'm going to need you to drive. I had my license revoked a couple weeks ago, and I haven't really gotten around to getting it renewed yet," Denmark said with an airy tone.

Finland, on the other hand, stopped in his tracks. "D-Drive?" he stuttered. "Um, Denmark…"

"What's the problem?"

"Well, I… can't Iceland drive? You can, right, Ice?"

"I can, but… I technically don't have a license. Why don't you want to drive, Finland? You can, right?"

"Well… uh… I never actually… um… learned to drive…"

"Oh, damn."

"Iceland! Don't swear!" interjected Denmark.

"Who are you, my mother?"

"Guys! We have a bigger problem! How are we going to get coffee now?" exclaimed Finland.

"We could bike to the store!" said Denmark.

"Remember what happened the last time I got on a bicycle with you? Do you want to get stuck with the hospital bills?" Iceland reminded him.

"Oh… yeah…"

"Well, I guess there's really only one thing to do," said Iceland.

"Can you clarify for me? I'm a little lost…" said the far-from-omniscient Denmark.

"We're going to teach Finland how to drive."

"Okay, do you remember where the gear shift is?"

"This is it, right?"

"Yes. Emergency brake?"

"Um… here?"

"Yep. Gas pedal?"

"He's not an idiot, Denmark!"

"I'm just making sure, Iceland. Geez, you sure aren't a morning person!"

"I will kill you and throw your remains into a volcano."

After the nations had gone through all of the necessary precautions to make sure that they wouldn't be crashing into trees anytime soon, they sped (well, maybe more like inched) out of the driveway.

Maybe they should've just walked to the store.