Chapter 1

The Path Not Taken

They have been married for a little more than eight years.

Their daughter is almost eight. Their son just turned six. He wants another child, but she keep saying no. He has tried all he can, but she won't budge. She wasn't born to be a mother or a housewife, she says. Two kids and an old sick Bob are all she can ever handle. She will go insane if she has to go through another pregnancy. She doesn't know what she will do should she find herself carrying another child. She may do something hurtful and extreme. He looks into her eyes and immediately knows that she's not joking. She means every word she says.

The past few years have not been kind to her. All the duties, obligations, stress, and pressure of being a stay-home mother have worn her down. Now she looks older than she really is. She seldom smiles. And she always seems to be tired, impatient, and grumpy. She's the one who had to quit her job to stay home taking care of herself and the unexpected baby. She's the one who has chop up tomatoes, cook pastas, and clean up after the kids. She's the one who has to help make preparation for all kinds of family dinners and gatherings. And they both know his mother and Grandma Bella are not easy to please. And he's usually not around to help her out.

It's his fault, really. He has a demanding job. He has given his vows to protect and serve. He can't just drop everything and come to her aid whenever she calls. He's no Batman or Superman. He can't afford to lose his job. He's looking forward to a pay raise and a possible promotion. He has to do everything to impress his boss. He has to started saving for the kids' college fund, too. He's terribly sorry, he really, really wants to be there for her, but she's on her own. She's not happy with what he says. She's not a child-making machine. She's not his maid and cook and nanny. She needs his support, his help, his company, and love. Yea, they both know how much she hates doing house chores. Yes, everyone in their families knows she is not cut out to be a full-time mother. She definitely needs all the direction and help she can get, and he's just being lazy and selfish.

He grows bored and tired. It's not the first time he hears her tearful accusation. He's doing his best to suppress the resentment and disgust that suddenly well up within him. He raises his brows at her and gives his shoulders a casual shrug. And, of course, she loses her temper. They've had countless fights over this and other meaningless trifles over the years. And they have nearly run out of things to yell, to scream, to whisper, or to say. They don't even have the energy to tease each other and fool around. They have long forgotten what hot steaming balls-to-the-wall wild animal sex tastes like. The monotonous, unchanging, tedious everyday life has quenched their passion and thirst. She has gained some weight. He has lost some hair(on the top of his head). She has lost the twinkling light in her tired blue eyes. He is developing a beer gut as his lean muscles have begun to loosen. The kids have all kinds of problems in school. Bob's health is failing too quickly. Every time Grandma Bella's eyes fell on them, she reminds them she wants more bambinos.

They wave their arms and yell at each other. The kids are having a sleepover at their cousin's. Bob has gone deaf because of old age. They let out of their anger and frustration without reservation. They have both made plenty of sacrifices, adjustments, and compromises. They both want to hold on to their separate bottom lines. They are both stubborn and headstrong. They both like to do things their own ways. They used to use sex to forget their problems, differences, and conflicts. But now they are both bitter and exhausted. And after six years of relationship on-and-off relationship and eight years of marriage, the sexual attraction is no longer exists. Her breasts are too small. His body is too hairy. She becomes less and less adventurous. He just rolls over and falls asleep. Sometimes they wonder why the HELL they got married and then feel regretful and guilty when their daughter Rose Maria smiles and asks them something.

The only reason they are still together is that they are both Catholic. The Morellis don't do divorce. And once is more than enough for her mother. They stare at each other without screaming or shouting. They are both still angry. They both want to be the winner. They both hate to lose. And, as usual, they haven't solved anything. Their problems are still there. But once again they choose to turn their eyes away and ignore them. He tightens his jaw, walks away and turns on the TV. She stomps upstairs, slams the bedroom door shut and locks it. He turns off the TV, grabs his car keys, calls his pals, and goes out to drink himself silly. She bites her lips as she hears him leave, and cries herself to sleep.

It's just another typical ordinary average in their married life. Almost everyone in the neighborhood knows they are not happy. But they wisely choose to stay out of this. They have their own worries and fears. They have their own lives to live. And sometimes marriage is not about being happy. It's more like a habit or routine.

And love is flat-out overrated.