Injustice, Surveillance Equipment, and Various Kinds of Pizza
Brought to you by the Psycho Neko (a.k.a. digi-kitty), and Dominoes' Pizza
The Disclaimer
Brought to you by the Psycho Neko, and various Gundam Wing characters the Neko has bribed. MUWHAHAHA!
Wufei: Hi. I'm Chang Wufei, and I've been convinced by the Neko to read The Disclaimer today. ^holds up a piece of paper^
^loud applause from Duo in the background^
Wufei: ^glares at Duo^ Anyways. ^puts on a pair of glasses^ The Psycho Neko does not own Gundam Wing. It is owned by Sunrise and TV Asahi. But, the Neko does in fact own some Gundam Wing merchandise, therefore it would not be fair to say she does not own it in-
Duo: ^gasps from laughing so hard^ Holy Shi... ^laughs hysterically^ You look... ^faints from lack of air^
Wufei: ^kicks Duo and smiles^ The end.
Neko: I don't own Dominoes' Pizza either. I don't even know how to spell it. ^pauses to think^ Oh! And I don't own Jackie Chan or Jeopardy or The Wheel of Fortune or The Weakest Link. So there!
Some Information
So it makes a little more/less sense.
Okee... This story is told from the point of view of several fangirls who run the surveillance equipment set up around and in the Winner mansion. Soooo... Tha's about it. Enjoy! Everybody's most likely out of character, but enjoy!
The First Chapter
Please Wait to be Seated
22.04 seconds. Quatre wrote down the time in fountain pen before clearing the stopwatch and restarting it.
Duo grinned and flopped on the couch. I'm getting better at this, eh Quatre?
Quatre shook his head in wonder at the braided boy. Sadly, yes.
What's going on, you two? Trowa had walked un-noticed into the room. He perched on the arm of the chair.
Duo said slowly. He trailed off so that Trowa could hear the string of crude words coming from the adjoining room in several languages.
was all Trowa had to say about that.
The three pilots sat in silence, listening in what could be called amusement, to what was being said. There was a pause, followed by a loud smash', and Quatre stopped the watch again.
43.57 seconds of straight cursing, no breaths. He wrote this down and waited for Duo's analysis. I doubt that's good for his health.
Duo snorted with laughter before continuing. I'd say that was a vase. Antique I think. Worth 436 dollars and 44 cents, give or take a buck or two. Duo looked excessively pleased with himself.
What did you say to him anyways, Duo? Trowa inquired.
Before Duo could reply, Wufei stormed out of the room, muttering obscure things about injustice and pepperoni pizza.
Something about a can opener, and Relena painting his Gundam pink, Trowa concluded. Quatre nodded in confirmation.
Pilots 2 through 4 watched as Wufei stalked over to a cabinet and got out...
Uh oh... Duo rolled off the couch and started backing away from Wufei, who was running his thumb menacingly along the blade of his sword.
For every step Duo took backwards, Wufei took two steps forwards, until finally, Duo had his back pressed against the wall, a sword inconveniently less than two inches from his throat.
Um... Help? Duo whimpered. In response to the Shinigami's plea, Trowa pulled a polariod camera out of a drawer and began snapping random pictures. Trigger-happy tourist.
Wufei hissed, his face very close to Duo's now, If you say anything, anything at all, about a can opener, and Relena painting my Gundam pink, I will personally shove this katana up your-
Okay, okay, Duo agreed quickly. He wrinkled his nose and pulled a box out of his back pocket. Tic tac?
Wufei's eyes narrowed for no apparent reason, although there probably was one, and he brought the point of his sword within 5 millimetres of Duo's throat before pulling it back and...
Ding-dong', the doorbell chimed.
I'll get it! Wufei declared, dropping his katana (it is a katana, right?), and nearly slicing Duo's toe off. Next time, Maxwell, he called over his shoulder as he raced out of the room.
Duo breathed a sigh of relief and slid down the wall in a dead faint. Trowa dragged him over beside the couch and Quatre put a lacy doily and a vase of flowers on his head, for the sake of randomness and tasteful decoration.
Blackness.
Heh, sorry about that. Somebody threw something at our Super-duper-highly-contagious spy camera. No word from our patented Fly-on-the-wall as to what something was doing six feet in the air. Let's just not ask, shall we?
Anywho, we're back, our audio fangirl has returned from her sugar break, so we're continuing live coverage of... Um... MOVING ON! Since we missed the last scene, let's just say...
Heero walked into the room, took one look in Duo's general direction, blinked, and quickly retraced his steps.
From downstairs, there was a fangirlish shriek, a thud, and string of curses in a foreign language, which, roughly translated, meant something obscure about injustice. And vegetarian pizza. Heero retraced his steps again. This should be good...
There were twenty-two thuds' as Wufei dragged something up the stairs.
31.46 seconds, Quatre said automatically.
Wufei? What just happened, Trowa called nervously.
Weak onna... Wufei muttered, dragging an unconscious fangirl into the room. Of all the unjust things...
Duo exclaimed, suddenly becoming conscious and knocking the vase of flowers and the doily off his head, That's the third one this week!
There were nine after Quatre, five for Duo, three after Trowa, two after me, and one after Wufei so far this month, Heero listed.
I think the one after Wufei was delusional though, Trowa commented.
What makes you think that?! Wufei said haughtily.
The way she was chanting Jackie Chan'.
Quatre shook his head. I think he's got you there, Wufei. Besides, what I want to know is, how did they find us?
Duo gulped. he started nervously, There were four of them and they bribed me with chocolate-covered espresso beans and-
It's true, pilot 02 replied meekly. Chocolate-covered espresso bean?
While Duo was trying to tame a rabid Heero, Quatre was quietly watching the unconscious fangirl. Under his calm surveillance, the fangirl's eyes flickered, not quite opening. She moaned softly, and Quatre shifted his weight to his toes, ready to move, should the need arise.
The fangirl moaned again, and her hand clenched by her side before falling limp again.
Quatre called to his fellow Gundam pilots, She's waking up.
To be continued...
Bits from the Archives
Because I have no life, but that's okay.
A note from the archive manager fangirl: We have no idea what Wufei is on. Or Duo for that matter.
I know! Wufei exclaimed, disturbingly out of character, Let's play JEOPARDY!!!
agreed Duo, slightly less out of character than Wufei, I'd like to buy a vowel!
That's Wheel of Fortune, you moron, Wufei said sadistically.
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Fine! You are the weakest link, GOOD-BYE!
Hey, Wufei protested, You can't do that! I'm the host!
Not anymore.
Neko's Note
A message from your friendly neighbourhood authoress.
Okay... How was that so far? I know that all the pilots are probably very OOC, but this is my first Gundam Wing fanfic, so go easy on me, please! Should I get rid of any of the stuff at the beginning of the chapter for next time? Please tell me and I'll do my best! ^smiles^ Please review!