This is a rough version. Will work on it after I finished editing the rest.

----

"Wow, look at all this stuff." Jed was saying looking as they're still loading the nuclear missiles onto the La Kairam. What was strange in this arrangement was that Bright took it upon himself to have said missiles armed on his ship. Which is breaking a lot of rules from the Treaty downwards.

But really, they have no choice. Even though the Nadesico has been "tamed" and was now being relentlessly under supervision of Ruri and Uribitake, Bright and Yurika and Murrue were reluctant to have it carry the missiles. And so the other two ships were the carriers… with all these missiles that can be used to level a Federation HQ.

"Don't you find it strange ZAFT never brought a ship for this?" Jed asked. "Trucks are kind of old school, don't you think?"

"Not really." Sousuke said, double checking Arbalest's armaments in case of an immediate sortie. "Even though ZAFT has a pretty tight hold in the area, there's still guerillas and rogue armies to be considered. Way before they came along, Afganistan isn't well known for having a peaceful road, it's more sensible if you transport things under a low profile… resistance fighters, bandits, crazy bounty hunters are the least of your worries here… the reason we manage to even be this far is because we're already a decent number capable to repel the independent groups. ZAFT has too many enemies to spare a ship just to guard weapons. Even if they are dangerous ones."

Still, Sousuke found himself remembering the harsh trek on the road so long ago as if it happened yesterday… as the youngest of their small group, he'd always hear comments that he'd be too much of a burden of them, that he could only be slowing them down. And he'd almost prove them correct, since the weapons they were forced to carry, rocket launchers, uzi, snipers, not to mention extra ammunition, can be quite a challenge especially in the times they'd move from one area to the next. Still he had preservere, and he had comrades who always looked out for him and for each other. They were closest thing as a family the young boy could associate the word with. His pensive quietness must have triggered Jed to say something. "Hey, have you told, Kaname? I mean about you growing up here."

"No, I haven't."

That's a surprise, "Why not? I'm sure she'd be interested to hear your life."

"My life back then isn't much to tell."

"Yes you did. You told me without a fuss for hours." Sousuke even added his earlier military missions and his trainings in slow detail, which frankly bored Jed to death but decided to bear it without complaint since he did ask for it, he noticed that Sousuke never told him of his life before MITHRIL, or how he came to be Kaname's protector or the Arbalest's designated pilot.

"It's because you ordered me to."

"No, I didn't." Technically, he asked. But then again, Sousuke, for once, made a valid point. It'd be better off for Kaname to have Sousuke tell her himself when he's ready. "But don't you want to go somewhere before we leave the country? A place that has your child hood sentiments? You may never get here again."

Sousuke did have a place for those. But the last he had been there, all his comrades in the group back then had been… "There's nothing left there." He answered stiffly. "There's no point."

"I see." Jed had never seen him clam up that so quickly. So he decided that they should probably leave their conversation at that.

------

"Yzak is pacing again." Dearkka said, sighing as he sat down on the couch next to Nichol, who was reading quietly with his book. "Kinda tiring seeing him move around so restlessly."

"I guess he didn't like the idea of us being immediately transferred to the Meditterenean so soon." Athrun said, looking distracted, but not so deep in his thoughts not to hear his friend's words. In fact Athrun was surprised that he managed to do so despite he was busy recalling the events a couple of days ago the last time he saw Andy. It was embarrassing when he gave the report that they lost the weapons to the enemy, but Andy took the whole blame on his shoulders, despite Athrun's objections.

Athrun wondered bitterly if his father was once again at work, pulling the strings from the sidelines to make himself look good. The blunder had been his fault… he could have used the insane ship's attack on its allies to his own advantage… if he had not been so distracted to fight Kira in the battlefield back then…

"Athrun," Nichol said gently, making Athrun to lose his resentment for a bit as he turned his attention to the green-haired boy. "We're gonna have our temporary leave after this mission, right?"

"Yeah." Athrun heard from Krueset that they are to return to their homes to have their Gundams re-evaluated by ZAFT's scientists.

"I'd like you guys to attend my piano concert." His three companions gave such a miriad of expressions so quickly Nichol couldn't help but laugh. Athrun looked pleased when he heard the news, Yzak was shocked to hear one of his team mates could say it so casually as though they were a bunch of students heading off for a field trip and not a platoon of soldiers being shipped off to a battlefield. And… Dearka looked as though he was going to have his teeth pulled out of his gums. Nichol also remembered Dearka was not a big fan of theatre and music, he'd rather spend the time there sleeping it off in those places.

"Of course." Athrun replied making Yzak look at him in annoyance for making the decision without consulting them while Dearka went white under that dark complexion of his.

Still Nichol nodded happily. "It'll be great. I can't wait to introduce you guys to my folks. They'll be happy to see you."

"Your parents? You act as though we're gonna marry each other." Dearka was joking when Yzak elbowed at his ribs frowning, and even Athrun looked annoyed at the poor joke.

Dearka sighed. Sheesh. These guys are no fun…

-----

"Well, that route you gave us certainly sucked." Andy said as he carefully tossed the papers on the table as he eyed the larger, darker man, lounging lazily on the chair the ZAFT leader offered, calmly. "Care to explain what happened?"

The older man looked at Andy with a mock sneer. "It's certainly not my fault that your guards are not up to the task of securing the route by themselves."

"Of course." Andy replied smoothly, "which is why I'm wondering how on earth our enemy could have gotten that information so quickly."

The man shrugged. "Are you implying I sold you out?"

"Nothing of the sort."

"Good. Then I will personally accompany your counterattack." Here the darker man gave a very sinister smile, and Andy was once again reminded of Aisha's own concerns that they are dealing a very dangerous man. Despite that, Andy could not help feeling curious. "Why is that, Gauron?"

The man called Gauron fixed his gaze to a window, still smiling eerily. "Let's simply say that for the sake of professional pride I wish to meet an old acquaintance."

-----

He was running towards the door. Despite that he had been away for days and at the limits of his endurance, his heart couldn't stop beating wildly. He knew that something has gone terribly wrong.

The smell of burnt flesh was heavy in the air. In a small ordinary cave that the small child had always considered his home.

His comrades lie still on the cold floor. He couldn't identify them, the fire had greatly damaged them beyond recognition.

The boy sat on the ground, a stunned expression in his face. But he couldn't cry… he had seen this image so many times before… when he himself would burn the people he had killed for the sake of practicality that it did not seem alien to him anymore.

His heart was dying inside, for he had lost the people he cared for all these years. But the boy didn't cry.

But when he heard the name of the man who facilitated this massacre, the child felt something stirred in his heart that he had never felt before.

Vengeance…

Sousuke woke up, staring at the bottom of his bed. Though Kaname tried to tell him that he should at least try to sleep like a normal person, the MITHRIL soldier felt a strange comfort doing this instead. But for once, for the first time in his life, it failed him.

The young man swore under his breath, punching the bed… he had thought he had left all of this behind him. But the spectres of his youth would still reach out to him, taunting him…

Still he couldn't cry. He had long ago forgotten how…

----

Andy looked at the city of Tassil as it was engulfed in flames. A pillar of smoke rose to the air, against the dark blue evening sky, serving as a disturbing marker of what had just occurred…

"Kind of boring that we have to give the townsfolk time to evacuate instead of just shooting them in the streets." Gauron commented calmly. "It loses the dramatic flair."

"I have no trouble with them." Andy replied, his tone of voice giving a hint of warning not to do anything violent towards the populace. He could see Aisha frowning towards Gauron's back, she had always disliked him and made no efforts in her part to hide it. "But it would be enough to draw the enemy's attention. Tassil, after all, is once a Federation city before we took over."

Gauron shrugged, "Worms are worms. At least give them relief from living like one." But he complied and watched the city burning. Andy could see the madness reflecting from those eyes. One who went into hell, and never came back out.

He had no intention of turning into such a person himself. "Ready your mechas." Andy said. "We attack as soon as they've crossed the designated area."

-----

"Fighting again…" Akito sighed as he settled in his Aestivalis. He remembered Mars used to look like the desert before the terraforming project. And it gave him a small sense of homesickness.

Sousuke boarded his machine, and for some reason he couldn't shake his feeling of dread. He was surprised by this emotion, as he had been sent in battle for many times.

Kira looked at his panels in his Gundam, trying not to be afraid that he might face the Desert Tiger. He didn't notice Ryoko was looking at him with a worried expression on her face, though she made a mental note to look after him from time to time.

-----

Andy knew that his faith in this Federation unit's sense of morality isn't misplaced at all, as they appeared in the horizon. They knew that this area was obviously set up as a trap, but they had to come for some assistance to a random city. "Pity."

-----

The Arbalest was protecting the Archangel's starboard bow when he heard Akito's voice warning him of an enemy unit was heading straight for him.

"Didn't I tell you, Kasshim?" Saidoh said. "Always bring an extra magazine." His weapon pointed at the Arbalest, and as soon as the noise of the machinegun reached his ears, Sousuke instinctively shut his eyes tight, waiting for the excruciating pain…

But the pain did not come. The pilot snapped his eyes open and saw Saidoh's mecha toppled backwards as the Gundam Leopard finished him off from behind. "Hey!" Roybea shouted at him. "Are you alright?"

"Y… yes." Sousuke looked at the remains of the mecha. His own feelings mixed between relief, anger and disappointment.

"Then don't just sit there! Support the Archangel." The Gundam did not even spare a second glance on his kill. Roybea was ignorant on the drama that just happened, and was now focusing on shooting down incoming enemy troops. Regardless, he was only doing what he has to do. Just like Saidoh.

Just like Sousuke, who feeling emptier than usual from the depths of his soul, staring at the wreckage that was once housed his former friend. "Roger."

----

Kira looked as the BaCowe headed towards his direction. Andy had successfully evaded Airmaster's beam attacks from above and managed to knock off the GX to the ground. He could hear Garrod screaming out in annoyance by the blunder as well as Andy's taunting words.

"Fight! Fight me now and see where you stand in this madness!"

Kira looked around for any other weapons to use, he had lost his beam saber when Andy's BaCowe successfully knocked it off from Strike's grip. The shield was destroyed when deflecting the missiles while protecting the Methass. And the beam rifle energy is almost empty.

That leaves his knives still attached in the Strike's waist. And for a moment the mecha's metal hands poised to draw them both out. But to the horror of Kira's friends who were near him at the time, they saw the Strike dropped down his only weapons to the ground, facing the BaCowe with outstretched hands, daring Andy to strike an unarmed soldier down.

It happened so fast even Kira couldn't put the series of events together. The BaCowe's legs shifted subtly, betraying the pilots' thoughts of hesitation, but still continued their attack.

Arbalest came into view to support Strike from behind to protect and it and used its last weapon available, the shotgun to blast the BaCowe's legs. The first shot missed, the second shit successfully hit its side, but not enough to stop it. The third one finally marked a lethal blow and immediately the ZAFT mecha disappeared in a fiery explosion. Kira screamed as the fire swallowed Andy and Aisha… but his horror was drown out by the other noises of war.

-----

"Why did you kill him!" Kira shouted, his rage at Sousuke increased as he saw him, ignoring the fact that Bright himself gave him a good trashing for his foolish conduct in the fight a few minutes ago. "I thought you told me there's always another way!"

"…" Sousuke looked ahead, not flinching at Kira's words, as a good soldier would. Jed sighed quietly as he returned to help his mechanic, in which he saw Ryoko and her team running towards them at the corner of his eye.

"You never really cared!" Kira screamed, his fury that Sousuke was taking this calmly as though he had recently swatted a fly and not a human life. "You said all those things, but you never really meant it! You're nothing but a murderer!"

Kira felt someone's hand grab firmly his shoulder, and forced him to face a very angry Ryoko as she promptly silenced him by slapping his cheek, hard.

Kira looked at her, stunned, as Ryoko, barely controlling her rage, said tightly "Don't you ever, EVER do that again, Ensign Yamato. Don't you dare make me go to your family and to your girlfriend and explain to them how you got killed, or I'll NEVER forgive you."

"Ryoko," Amano said but she felt Izumi stopping her from doing anything to intervene.

"I liked him too, you know. Don't act like you're feeling like this on your own!" Ryoko shouted, she was furious on how that battle ended, but she couldn't be angry to Sousuke for doing his job. "But that ZAFT commander was gonna kill you for something he believed in! Don't be sorry for something he already chose with his own free will. You don't need that kind of baggage!"

"Well maybe it's alright for you guys to be fighting with that kind of thinking!" Kira shouted. "This isn't the life I wanted!"

"Then why are you here?" Ryoko shouted back. "If this isn't what you want, why are you risking your life fighting! By acting like that back then you've put everyone else in danger! You might as well be better off by leaving this ship, you DUMBASS!"

"That's enough!" Quattro said, deciding that he should break this up before anyone else would do something violent.

Kira looked at her as though she just kicked him at the groin and ran off, however doing this could not banish what Ryoko just said.

At first he thought that he was just being forced into this. That he was given something he did not want. That it was his responsibility as the only one who could pilot the Strike.

But now these people are here, willing people who would fight and protect the Archangel and her crew to the death, with no hesitation. Surely, he should no longer feel obligated to stay and battle… Ryoko had been right… he does have a choice. It had been there within his grasp all this time. He could just pack his things, say his leave to the Captain and depart from the ship in the most convinient of time for him. And live in peace away from it all. So why is he staying?

But the answer was already there in front of him. He knew that if he left them, the only group of people who never cared nor hated of him being a Coordinator in this time of conflict, then he will truly be all alone.

Meanwhile, as she watched Kira disappear and knowing they wouldn't be talking to each other anytime soon Ryoko sighed out, "Me and my big mouth."

-----

When Sousuke walked towards his room, he saw Chidori crouching beside the door, her head rested against her arms, apparently fast asleep waiting for him. An instinct he could not understand prompted him to sat next to her, as she laid her head quietly on his shoulder, she murmured, "Hey Sousuke… tell me…"

But Sousuke cannot think of anything to say. Saidoh's mecha as it lay broken and shredded on the ground was imbedded in his mind. Kira was wrong to assume that he didn't care for the people that he killed… Saidoh was once his best friend. The one man whom he looked up as a brother, as a comrade who faced death countless times together, as the one who knew that Sousuke will be a great soldier someday, as he'd come to his defense when the others were thinking he was a liability.

A murderer! A murderer! Kira's words were still ringing in his ears. And he could not banish it.

Regardless, Sousuke did not cry. He had forgotten how.

Still, he found himself pondering something else as he allowed himself to relax beside Kaname. He did shoot the BaCowe as soon as he saw it charging towards the Strike, but he knew that it was not strong enough to destroy it. But during the confusion he couldn't pinpoint the person who made that finishing blow.

-----

"He was Ryoko's friend." Akito sighed as he gave Yurika a steaming bowl of ramen. They were the only two people in the kitchen later that evening. Everyone else was tired… it wasn't everyday that they've just liberated a country from ZAFT control. "And I… didn't know."

But it seems that it won't last for long. Bright and Natarle inwardly agreed that with the common enemy gone, religious and ethnic tribes and other militant groups would soon turn against each other for economic and political control of the land just like they used to in the past, making Afghanistan a country of strife once again. In the end, it was ironic to think that the only thing that unified them as a single nation all this time was the Desert Tiger.

-----

"It's not your fault Akito." Yurika assured him. "You've saved a life today, and I'm proud of you."

"I was about to tell him when Ryoko shouted at him and I didn't realize it..." Akito said. "Back then, when I saw that ZAFT unit is going to attack Kira, just like that… my mind went blank. I just couldn't think of anything else… I don't want to see someone I know die in my watch." He can still see how Gai disappeared in that light, he can hear his own screams, felt his heart as if he was being stabbed with a knife.

"…"

"And what's worse… I felt no remorse of what I just did. It never occurred to me that the pilot I shot down today could have friends and family mourning over him right now. But, still... I felt… nothing."

"…."

"What's wrong with me, Yurika?" Akito's broken voice whispered when his friend latched onto him with a fierce embrace, surprising both of them.

"I'm so sorry Akito." Yurika said, deciding that she should do the crying for the both of them. Akito buried his head on her shoulder, greatfully accepting her support… but for some reason, a deep part of his brain was screaming at his intincts to leave before it was too late. He was still wondering why he's recalling this now when Yurika's arms suddenly tightened around him.

OH!

------

Camille looked at the stretcher carried by assistant doctors, where an unconscious Akito was sprawled looking up at the ceiling with a terrible expression on his face, a worried Yurika by his side calling his name as he's quickly carted off to the clinic.

"Oh… kay." He muttered as he decided eating snacks would have to wait then.