Awareness, Chapter 6

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan fiction

Buffy and Willow parted ways with Xander in front of Buffy's house and then walked to the front door. "I doubt my mom will be awake," Buffy said. "She mentioned something about going to the gallery early tomorrow morning." She quietly opened the door, stepped inside, and found that she was right; her mom was already in bed for the night.

"Uh, you coming, Will?" Buffy asked jokingly as she held open the door while her friend just stood outside.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry," Willow muttered, and she came in quickly and let Buffy shut the door behind her.

"Wow, you're really out of it. Giles was right, you need rest. Let's go get ready for bed," Buffy said, and the two girls tiptoed up the stairs to Buffy's room.

Buffy went to her dresser and pulled open a drawer, then tossed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to her best friend. "Why don't you go use the bathroom first? I'm pretty sure your toothbrush is still in there from the time you left it."

"Thanks," Willow said. She walked across the hall to the bathroom, and only once she was locked in did she let her mind truly start to race.

Okay, what am I going to do here? I can't just act like there's nothing going on in my brain. Buffy would see through that immediately, and she would catch me in any sort of lie too. God, I was hoping that what happened was just some weird vampire emotion trick that Vamp Willow played, but she was right. The feelings I have for Buffy are real, and I can't deny them. But what on earth am I going to do? Earlier tonight, I had an orgasm while screaming her name. How in heaven can I handle this?

After washing her face and brushing her teeth and still not coming to any sort of answer, Willow decided to give up thinking and just go to bed. She walked quietly back to Buffy's room and sat down on the bed.

"Hey Will," Buffy said casually, turning to face her friend. She was in her pajamas too, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. She walked to the bed and sat down next to Willow. "Now, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but you just seem really shaken up, and I want to make sure you're okay. Especially with…well, with the way you looked when you returned. The lack of sweater, I mean. Do you want to talk about what happened in Vamp Willow's world?"

Willow stared down at her legs, refusing to look into the hazel eyes that she knew were fixed on her. "I'm fine. You don't need to be worried," Willow muttered, playing with a loose thread on the quilt of the bed. "Vamp Willow just taught me some things."

"What kind of things, Willow?" Buffy asked gently.

"Things about myself," Willow replied, still not looking at Buffy.

"Good things? Bad things? Do you not want to tell me?" Buffy pried a little further.

"I'm not sure I can tell you," Willow answered, and she finally raised her eyes and returned Buffy's gaze.

Buffy opened her mouth to say, "Will, you can tell me anything," but something about the look in Willow's eyes stopped her.

Willow stared at Buffy and marveled again how Anne the vampire had gotten every little detail right. Her heart started to race as she scanned the beautiful, tan face in front of her, ending with her eyes on Buffy's small mouth. Willow wanted to feel those pink lips on hers again. She trained her gaze on Buffy's hazel-brown eyes as she leaned in closer and closer. Buffy didn't move an inch, and suddenly, the redhead's full red lips and the blonde's pouty pink ones were against each other.

At first, Buffy didn't know what to do, but she felt too stunned to push Willow away. Then Willow took Buffy's head in her hands and pulled her back by her hair, deepening the kiss, and the passion made Buffy stop thinking. She felt Willow's tongue slyly slip into her mouth and then became aware of the fact that the redhead's hands were moving along her back.

Willow kissed Buffy passionately, all of her intense feelings flowing through her body up to her mouth. She lost awareness of her hands and the rest of her body, only thinking about the fact that she was finally kissing the girl she loved. Only when Buffy pulled back quickly, separating their lips, did Willow realize that her hands were grabbing at the blonde's hipbones.

"Oh Willow I'm so –"

"No, Buffy, I'm sorry. I should never have done that. God, I'm so stupid. Can I blame it on craziness from all this magic?" Willow asked hopefully, unable to look at Buffy for longer than one second.

"Willow, it's okay," Buffy said gently. "Really, it's fine. I…um, well, I…appreciate the gesture, but…I just don't like you like that."

"I know," Willow replied, staring at the ground. "Of course you don't." She looked back up at the girl whom she figured was now her ex-best friend. "I understand if you want me to leave now. I can walk home."

"Leave? What?" Buffy exclaimed. "No, of course not, Willow! It's almost midnight. You are not about to walk home!"

"Oh, um, okay," Willow muttered, confused. "Well, I'll go sleep in the guest bedroom. Or on the couch, whichever you'd prefer," Willow said as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Buffy declared, grabbing Willow's arm and using a teensy amount of Slayer strength to pull her determined body back down to the bed.

"I figured you wouldn't want me sleeping here," Willow mumbled as she extracted her hand from the blonde's.

"Because of what just happened?" Buffy asked, and Willow nodded her head. "Okay, I'm not really sure what to say or how to explain this, but I'm going to give it a shot. Like I said, though I appreciate your interest, I don't like you in that way. And since I've made that clear, I know you won't pursue me in any way. You're too good of a person to do that."

Buffy cleared her throat and grabbed Willow's hand once again, then stared into the redhead's eyes and said emphatically, "Willow, I love you. And nothing's going to change that. You're my best friend, the best best friend a girl could ask for, and I'm going to take care of you. So you stay right where you are while I go to the bathroom and finish getting ready for bed, then we'll go to sleep."

Willow nodded her head obediently and then watched as Buffy walked across the hall.

She is really incredible. I couldn't ask for a better best friend. We'll figure this out. Everything's going to be okay.

All of a sudden, Willow felt a splitting headache coming on, and the room started spinning a little. Must be the feeling sick that Giles was referring to. She scooted back on the bed, pulled the covers up, and crawled under them. She laid her head on a pillow and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Then she shut her eyes and her breathing slowed.

Buffy returned from the bathroom to find Willow curled up in bed, already asleep. With a half-smile, she turned off the light, then walked to her bed, pulled back the other side of the covers and slid in next to Willow. The redhead stirred and started to mumble something, but Buffy rubbed her arm soothingly and murmured "It's okay, Willow. Go to sleep."

Buffy continued to rub her best friend's arm gently, stopping only when she was sure that Willow was asleep again. The blonde snuggled under the covers close to Willow, taking comfort in the fact that the redhead was still beside her. She knew that they were going to have to have a pretty long talk in the morning, but she wasn't worried. She and Willow were great friends, and nothing was going to change that.

Staring up at the ceiling, Buffy took a deep breath and whispered, "Everything's going to be okay."

THE END