What I See

Ficlet, around the time of 2.06. Bonnie's visions don't really work that way, but she's seen enough of Damon and Elena's minds to know.

Disclaimer: TVD and its universe isn't mine, I just wrote this for fun with no copyright infringement intended.

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Bonnie doesn't like Damon.

No, that isn't right: she doesn't like Stefan.

She hates Damon.

Hates him; hates him with a fiery passion in a way that has everything and nothing to do with him being a vampire. She isn't sure if his psychosis, his rage, his murderous, selfish behaviour is a personality trait or a vampyric quirk. She just isn't sure.

Elena would say that it's just Damon, that it's who he is. A monster. A murderous, unfeeling monster.

Bonnie isn't so sure: Elena's blinded by the Salvatore brothers, both of them. She's blinded by her love for Stefan, unable to see that Stefan is just as psychotic, angry, murderous and selfish as his brother is, he just hides it better (although not so well if recent events are anything to go by). He's less honest (more noble?) about it than Damon is.

When it comes to Stefan, Elena is blinded by love, but her blind anger for Damon is just as bad. Bonnie might not like Damon, but even she can see that Elena's hated blinds her to the vampire that stands in front of her, stands behind her, stands next to her in a way that Stefan never has, never can, and never will.

It doesn't take magic to work this out, of course; just a pair of eyes that sees the way things really are, rather than the way people would like them to be.

But magic can be helpful, sometimes.

Bonnie tries not to touch the Salvatore brothers. The magic inside them is powerful and frightening, even for her. It's twisted in its own unique ways, tainted by Katherine but gestated by them both, their vampyric curse binding them together and tearing them apart, focused around Katherine and Elena, Elena and Katherine. Always the two women and the two men, no-one able to let go or fully submit. She tries not to touch them because she can feel that pull, that headlong drive towards full immersion, like you're drowning.

Little wonder that Elena feels so at home with them both. She knows what it is to drown. She just hasn't realised yet that Stefan didn't save her, when he pulled her from the water.

She tries not to touch Elena now, either. The magic in her is powerful to be sure, but its inert, like a talisman waiting to be activated and Bonnie both does and doesn't want to be around when (not if; it saddens Bonnie to say) Elena joins the Salvatore ranks because she will be a fearsome and beautiful thing to behold.

No, magic has nothing to do with why she doesn't touch Elena anymore.

She doesn't touch Elena because what was once calm there is now a raging storm, a hurricane that swirls and torrents and blusters through the quiet girl that Bonnie's known since childhood. Elena knows it too, would admit it if you pushed her hard enough or found her in the right frame of mind (not obsessing about Stefan). If you asked her and she talks, she would say it was that day in school, when she met Stefan.

Bonnie remembers that day too, of course. She'll remember it for the rest of her life. She was right when she told Elena that that day, the day she met Stefan, was just the beginning, but not for the reasons Elena thinks.

In her haste to immerse herself in Stefan, Elena forgot all about the crow that followed her around, about the leather-clad figure that followed her and follows her still, if she'd pull her herself away from Stefan to just see it.

That day was the beginning. It was the beginning of this twisted triangle that now defines who Stefan, Damon and Elena are, and Bonnie can't be a part of it because she can't deal with the twisted mess Elena's heart and mind have become. Because the worst part is, is that Elena either doesn't, can't or won't admit it. She won't admit what Damon wears as obviously as his leather jacket or wry, sadistic smirk, or the crow that follows him around.

Bonnie's known for a while, of course. And if she can see it, then Stefan can. Like she said, a working pair of eyes could see it, but magic can be helpful too.

All it took was just one touch. Bonnie's visions don't really work that way, but she's seen enough of Damon and Elena's minds to know.

"I don't know why I'm helping you." She grumbles to him as she helps him move what is probably an antique, priceless rug so they can torture Mason (Bonnie might not be doing the torturing, but she's helping and to her mind that's just as bad)

"Oh Bonnie." Damon cajoles. "You don't want me to get blood on my rug."

"I don't care about the rug and neither do you."

"Then you underestimate my love for antiques."

"Glad to see you find torture so amusing."

"There are few things in my life I don't find amusing."

Damon brushes against her as they tuck away a particularly bothersome piece of carpet, but that's all it takes: one slight touch, a small amount of pressure against his rock-hard skin, and she sees it.

He loves her: Damon Salvatore loves Elena Gilbert.

His love for Elena is the best thing Damon has ever done, the purest of pure things, a whisper of the young, idealistic man he used to be before Katherine came and turned him into something beautiful and twisted. In the dark maelstrom twisted storm that is Damon, Elena is a bright light, a promise mumbled against closed lips, words that feel clumsy in Damon's mouth because he doesn't know how to speak them, how to tell her. He's tried before but his delivery has been off; way, way off. He's not romantic like Stefan, not good like Stefan.

And he knows it.

That's what holding him back, now. He knows all this about his love for Elena, which is why he hasn't told her. Its why he hasn't pushed as hard as he wants to, although turning up drunk in her bedroom and forcing her to kiss him was the baddest of bad ideas and another reason why Bonnie thinks that Damon is wrongwrongwrongwrong for Elena. But Bonnie doesn't get to decide. The heart wants what it wants, so the saying goes, and Damon wants Elena, wants her with every fibre of his being, wants her with everything that he has to give and a few things he didn't think he'd ever barter away.

Damon's love for Elena is an interesting thing, something magical that Bonnie would like study if she were a braver soul. Its pure to be sure, but its not the pedestal-placing love that Stefan has for her. Damon loves Elena, but he loves the Elena that she is, rather than the Elena that he would wish her to be, and since she looks like Katherine that's saying something. Stefan hides his baser urges from Elena (Bonnie knows all about the chest freezer full of blood; at least Damon doesn't make his monsterhood a dirty little secret to be hidden in the basement and for that Bonnie's got to respect him), afraid that she'll see him for who he really is, just like he's afraid he'll see her for who she really is: a girl – a wonderful girl to be sure – but an ordinary girl who just happens to look like the ex-love of his life.

But its Damon's wrongness that makes him so right for Elena.

Because that maelstrom that's inside of him is inside of her, too. Elena's magic is powerful indeed; it makes perfect sense that Damon's crow follows her around, that the Salvatore brothers are drawn to her in ways they can't fathom. But it's only Damon, with his calm acceptance of his life, his ease with murder and his knowledge of the night that Elena needs. Stefan's right: he's not strong enough to protect Elena but he's not strong enough to help Elena protect herself. Damon can show her how to be strong, how to tap into that magic and make herself strong. Only he can guide her through this life and the next, give her the strength to stand and fight and do it all with a smile and a joke that will make her laugh and bring much-needed light into her life.

And Elena knows it too. Why else would she hate Damon as much as she does? Why else would she implore Bonnie to help her save Damon twice from fire? Why else would she trust him when he betrays it time and time again? Why would she speak to him after he murdered Jeremy (Bonnie can't help the smile that crosses her lips when she thinks of Elena's kid brother; he grew up fast)? She won't recognise it, never mind speak it, because she loves Stefan because he's good, because he's noble, because he tries to be more than he is. But it isn't enough, not for Elena. With Stefan she would be happy, but she'd only ever be half of herself, half of what she could be, and it makes Bonnie sad because she selfishly wants Elean to stay with Stefan, to be half-happy and half-complete with Stefan, because then Bonnie wouldn't lose her friend to the darkness, even though she knows that when she does it will be a strange day because Elena at her full potential will be a terrifyingly beautiful thing.

Elena's just a little slower on the uptake that Damon is, but that's okay because right now Damon's the only one who can't (won't) see that he's in love with Elena, so they can all live this blissful ignorance for a little while longer. But the heart wants what it wants, so the saying goes.

Maybe it's time Bonnie hurried things along. Or at the very least, made sure Elena had all the facts. If it's one thing she knows about her friend, she knows it's that: Elena doesn't like being lied to. She likes to know the truth and it's always infuriated Bonnie that Stefan repeatedly lied to Elena, which is why she's astounded by Damon's reticence. He might be Stefan's brother but Damon's never been one to stop fraternal bonds from standing in the way of what he wanted. Their continued existence is proof of that.

Plus this whole triangle thing is getting really, really tiresome.

"You love Elena." She says to Damon later that day, when the dirt from Mason's grave is still clinging to his cheeks.

His blue eyes widen and his jaw bunches slightly, but you'd have to live in the supernatural realm to notice a difference to the vampire's demeanour.

"Not you too." He says with feigned nonchalance, reaching for the tumbler of blood or scotch that seems his constant companion, now.

Bonnie takes the glass before he can drink, fighting vomit as warm blood spills out of the glass and onto her hand because she can still remember how his blood tastes. She wakes up at night with the taste still on her tongue, her dreams dark and scary and when that happens, it's hard to remember that Damon has good in him, that he loves Elena and that he's right for her.

"You love her." She insists. "You do. Don't try to deny it, Damon."

"You're a witch, Bonnie." There's little bite behind Damon's snark (she hates that she's hung out with him long enough to recognise his moods, now) but his glare indicates this isn't something he wants to take further. "Not a psychic. Stay out of my head."

"Elena's my friend." Bonnie says.

Damon's eyebrows do that twitchy-movement thing they do when he's confused, finding their resting point somewhere near his hairline. For an undead being he's surprisingly expressive, and despite her mistrust, Bonnie prefers that to Stefan's cool expressionlessness. He could be tearing your throat out and his expression wouldn't change. At least Damon would look like he's enjoying himself.

"So?"

"So …" Bonnie can't believe she's got to spell this out for him. "Elena's my friend, Damon. I care about her. I want her to be happy."

"So why are you telling me things I don't want to hear?" There's more edge to Damon's voice now. "Why aren't you off singing Stefan's praises since he's clearly better for her than I am. Dull, but better."

"You don't believe that." Bonnie says. "Well, you do, but that doesn't make you right."

Damon rolls his eyes. "Oh please, I'm always right. I've been right for over a century."

"Not on this." Bonnie says. "You love her. And she loves you."

"Now you're just making me pissed, and you saw how well that ended last time." There's a look in Damon's eyes that would make lesser mortals run for the hills, but not Bonnie.

"You can't threaten me, Damon." She says. "You won't hurt me."

"And why's that?"

"Because I'm Elena's best friend. And you won't even think of doing anything that makes her unhappy."

"Oh right." Damon's voice oozes sarcasm. "Because I'm in love with her, right?"

"Joke about it all you want, but you know I'm right. And I think she knows it, too, if she stopped to think about it hard enough."

"Elena knows her own mind." Damon snaps, real anger flashing in his eyes. "She's made that perfectly clear."

"You need to tell her, Damon." Bonnie urges. "I'm not saying you do it now, but you need to do it. Tell her how you feel. No joking, no flirting, no innuendo. Just tell her. Be honest. Because you love her and she loves you, and if you don't tell her, then you'll both kill yourselves pretending it isn't true, pretending that you're happy watching her pretending to be happy with Stefan and you'll both pretend to be happy being only half of what you could be."

They sit in silence for a long time until the vampire speaks. "And what makes you so sure?"

"Because I'm a witch." Bonnie says simply. "And I can see things. But mainly … because Elena's my friend. And I want her to be happy. And she deserves to have all the facts. Even if she doesn't act on them."

"And you think I could make her happy?" There's something in Damon's eyes that Bonnie's never seen before: hope. It makes him look almost human.

Bonnie stands up and reaches for her purse. She's taller than him now he's sitting down, and he stares up at her with those piercing blue eyes that she sees in her dreams and her nightmares. Her grandmother would not approve of what she's done, what she's inciting Damon to do. Bennett witches don't tend to survive their relationships with the Salvatores. But her grandmother's not here and she while she saw a lot in the years she was alive, she hasn't seen what Bonnie's seen. She hasn't seen Elena and Damon.

"Yes." She says. "I think you could. So tell her, Damon. Just tell her."

The door creaks as she tugs it shut behind her, the last glimpse of the vampire his pensive face, blue eyes darting to the door.

"Good luck, Damon." She murmurs to herself, stepping into the warm sunlight that fills the Salvatore porch.

FIN.