FAIRY TAIL AND BLEACH!: QUESTION AND ANSWER PORTION!
*curtain rises to show me in a bowed position*
Me: S-sumimasen! *looks up* I'm very sorry I haven't shown up these past couple of months! B-but it's not my fault! *rises up* It's their fault! *points to Ichigo and Natsu*
Natsu: What the hell did we do?
Ichigo: Yeah, what gives?
Me: Don't play innocent with me, dirtbags! *glares* I know you were the ones responsible for burning the questions every time I write them down!
Natsu and Ichigo: *whistles innocently* *looks away*
Me: Look at me when I'm talking to you! *growls*
Ichigo: What's that? *cups ear* I think I hear Rukia calling me! *shouts* B-be right there, Rukia! *runs off*
Natsu: *panics* Don't leave me here with this psychopath! *runs off*
Me: *glares* Anyway, *coughs* Sorry about that, everyone! So, in order to get back for lost time, I'm going to ask a LOT of questions for our favorite Shounen anime characters!
Natsu: *suddenly runs back* WHAT?! But I thought we burned them al-
Me: Aha! *points accusing finger* You DID burn them all!
Natsu: What's it to you?! *raises fist* You're not gonna ask anymore humiliating questions!
Me: I haven't written anything down yet…
Natsu: *cheers* Yes!
Me: *shows laptop* Everything's digital nowadays. *smirks* So I don't need to write them down…
Natsu: *eyes widen* Crap…
Me: *turns to crowd* We aren't through with the question asking, so let the show begin!
*curtain reveals more characters sitting down looking bored*
Crowd: *cheers* *claps hands*
Me: Since we're press for time, we aren't gonna over-dramatize a single question. Just one or two opinions from the one being asked and one more for any character… Let's start! Oh, and to answer zem107's question, yeah I guess it all happens at their respective timeskips, but I haven't gotten that far into Bleach yet, so you can imagine the rough times I get when writing… *laughs* Oh, and if anyone out there knows a little bit more about Bleach, I would gladly appreciate it if you give me a rundown~ Say, from the Arrancar War up to the current manga chapter? *sweat drops* I-I haven't been updated with Bleach, and yet I started this whole thing... *shakes head* Anyway, again, let's start!
*Me and Natsu sits down as light slightly dims*
Me: *brings down laptop on pillow* Okay, this is from .xX for Minerva.
Minerva: Really, a question for me? *smiles*
Me: Yes… This particular one is my favorite… "Minerva, why are you a total bitch?"
Minerva: U-uh, excuse me…? *chuckles nervously* *eye twitches irritably*
Me: Answer the question before leaving any comments, please…
Minerva: *serious expression* I simply believe in expressing one's self… I do not care if you think I am a bitch or not…
Me: I see… *rolls eyes* Anyone care to comment on that?
Sting: I suggest you start running now… *smirks*
Me: I suggest you start running with me… This next one is from .xX for Sting. "Sting, do you think is a total BITCH?"
Sting: I-
Me: *cuts him off* You'd be lying if you say you don't.
Sting: Oh really…? *smirks* Why would that be?
Me: Aside from the fact that she hides a sadistic streak under that calm personality of hers, she shows no mercy, often mocks her enemies and most of all…
Sting and Minerva: *raises brow*
Me: She used Lector to blackmail you during the Grand Magic Games, or have you forgotten that…?
Lector: Minerva is a total BITCH! I'm sure Sting-kun would agree with me!
Sting: *physically shakes a little* She's not a total bitch, I can say that…
Minerva: What did you-?
Me: Moving on! *clears throat* Here's a question from Crystal Louise. It's for flame-head and strawberry.
Natsu and Ichigo: What'd you call me?! *growls*
Me: "Of all the person who are the top 3 scariest person?" *counts silently backwards from 3*
Natsu and Ichigo: We ain't afraid and nothin' and no one!
Me: Should I make a list…? *looks at crowd*
Crowd: Go for it! *claps hands*
Me: Okay, for Natsu. I guess the top three scariest people he's ever met are: Master Makarov, Gildarts Clive, and the scariest of them all… *shivers* Erza Scarlet…
Natsu: T-that's not true!
Me: Shut it… Next is Ichigo. The scariest people he's met are, -as far as I know-,: Zaraki Kenpachi, Sosuke Aizen, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.
Ichigo: I wasn't scared of Grimmjow!
Me: Dude, you were pretty much in shock when your mask fell apart when you were fighting him…
Ichigo: It's because of the mask breaking!
Me: And the fact that you wouldn't beat Grimmjow that way… Anyway-
Ichigo: It's not that!
Me: *ignores Ichigo* Next question is from .xX and it's for Natsu.
Natsu: What? Another one?
Me: *nod* Apparently… Anyway, the question is: "If you ever met me, will you let me lose my virginity to you?"
*every character's eyes widen and blush*
Natsu: *innocent look* What's a 'virginity'?
*everyone stumbles to the ground animatedly*
Ichigo: Haven't you seen a dirty magazine before?
Sting: I finally did something that Natsu-san hasn't yet... *sweat drops* What an awkward victory...
Loke: I'm not sure if I count that as a victory, Sting... *chuckles*
Natsu: What? *shrugs* I don't know what that is… Can you eat it?
Grimmjow: You can do more than just 'eat it'… *chuckles*
Gray: Don't give him any ideas…
Grimmjow: *shrugs* What? You want him to stay a f*ckin' idiot for the rest of his life…?
Erza: I'd have him stay a completely happy idiot than a corrupted creature such as you…
Grimmjow: *smirks* Ah, corrupted I may be, but I'm not a creature.
Me: *coughs* A-anyway, let's move on... *whispers* Before a fight breaks out…
Erza: You're right…
Me: Another question from .xX and it's for Natsu again.
Natsu: What?! Can't you ask anyone else?
Me: I will right after this one… *smiles* The question is, "Natsu, why are you just SO smokin hot AND sexy?"
Natsu: *grins* That's because I am! I can have any girl I want if I want to!
Grimmjow: Says the guy who doesn't freakin' know the value of a woman's virginity… *chuckles*
Natsu: Shut the f*ck up! *turns to Lucy* Hey Lucy, you'll give me your virginity, right?
Lucy: W-what?! *blushes fiercely* I-I... I-
Natsu: Please, Lucy! I'm beggin' for it! Give it to me!
Lucy: D-don't say stuff like that! *averts eye contact* B-besides, a woman's virginity is something... something special! You can't just give it away!
Natsu: *slumps* Not even to your best friend?
Lucy: W-what!? Come on, Natsu! Stop saying those kinds of things!
Me: *silently taking pictures with my laptop* It's so good to have blackmailing material... *giggles*
Natsu: *tries to cling to Lucy* Come on, Lucy! *whines* Give me it! It's not that hard, is it?
Lucy: Get off me, you idiot! *flails helplessly* Lisanna, help me!
Lisanna: *sighs dramatically as she looks from a distance* Natsu wants Lucy's virginity and not mine... *pouts* I'm soooooo jealous! Lucy-chan, you lucky girl you!
Lucy: L-Lisanna?! N-no, you got it all wrong! I-!
Natsu: You have that virginity thing too, Lisanna!? *runs over to her* Can I have it, please!?
Lisanna: *pokes his nose* Silly Natsu. You can't take a woman's virginity that way~
Natsu: Huh? *tilts head* How do I get it, then?
Lisanna: Don't ask me~ *whistles innocently* Why don't you ask some of the guys later?
Natsu: *nods* Okay! Thanks! *shouts* I'll definitely get your virginity someday! Just you wait!
NaLu fans: *screams* KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! HE'S GONNA DO IT!
NaLu fan A: They were meant to be together after all!
NaLu fan B: Natsu, you lucky bastard you!
NaLi fans: Noooooooooooo! Lisanna, fight back! You can do it!
NaLu fans: *chants* Lucy! Lucy! Lucy...!
NaLi fans: cheers Li-sa-nna! Li-sa-nna! Li-sa-nna...!
Me: What's this I hear?! *gasps* A COUPLE WAR!
Mira: What is that?
Pen: As much as I'd like to explain, I'm afraid we don't have time... EVERYONE SHUT UP!
*crowd's cheering dies down*
Me: Okay... *clears throat again* Next question, we still have .xX~ This question is for Rukia-chan~
Rukia: Me? *points to herself* Wow, okay... Uh... What's the question?
Me: Here it is. "Do you love Ichigo?" *pulls back laptop from table* *squeaks as table breaks*
Rukia: *pulls sword away from table* *glares* Care to repeat the question...?
Me: N-nope! No question here! What question? I don't see any...! *laughs* *sits up straight* Moving on.
Natsu: Hey! She didn't answer her question! That's not fair!
Me: Cool your pants, Natsu. I'm gonna ask her a different one. Okay, this one is from... wait... *looks through questions* I guess Rukia only had one single question.
Ichigo: *laughs* That's so lame, Rukia!
Rukia: What did you say, carrot-top!? *lunges toward him*
Me: *watches little fumble* Ah, such wonderful love~ *eyes sparkle* Rukia, quit it! You still have a question!
Rukia: *stops in the middle of punching Ichigo* I thought you said I don't have any more questions?
Me: Well, for you alone, no. But as a group, there are. So let's break this down. Okay, first question for Gray, Toshiro, Eve, Rukia, and Lyon~
Eve: Oh, a question for me? Great!
Luppi: *glares* *scoots closer to wall* I can't believe no one noticed me... I even have my hair redid thanks to that stupid Privacion! *wails*
Lyon: *whispers* Just see, Juvia-chan! I'll answer the question better than Gray and you will see I'm the better man! *raises fist* This is the perfect plan!
Me: The question's from ValeLovesHikaHaruAndNalu. It says, "Well you all use ice related skills so ¿Who would win in a battle?"
Gray: *sighs in relief* Finally, a decent question...
Eve: I was praying it would be a light one... Glad it came out alright.
Lyon: *whispers* I thought it was a love question! Damn it, I can't impress Juvia if I don't come out on top! *stares at Juvia*
Juvia: *feels someone staring* *spots Lyon* *looks away*
Lyon: *sweat drops* What was I expecting...?
Toshiro: I wonder... Who would win...? I don't know the others' strength, so I can't say for sure.
Rukia: That's right. I don't know what to answer, either.
Gray: You watched all our battles, right? Can you tell us who would win?
Me: Me? Sorry, but as a host, I can only give the viewers' opinions. So I'll ask them, instead! We'll leave that question for now~ On to the next one. This one's for Rukia, Lucy, Rangiku-san, Orihime, and Mira-san~
Mira: Ooh~ Another group question! What's it about?
Lucy: And who's it from... Better not be from that .xX person...
Me: It's not, it's not. It's from Crystal Louise this time~ The question is, "Who do you think will win if you guys competing in a beauty contest?"
Rangiku: A beauty contest? *flips hair* That would be-
Lucy: Me, of course~ *raises arms seductively* Right, boys? *winks at crowd*
Pervy Lucy Fans: *ogles at Lucy* *le wild nosebleed happens*
Lucy: *giggles* I guess that answers that~
Erza: Hold it! *body glows* Why haven't I been included in this selection? I cannot stand for this! Therefore, Lucy...
Lucy: *shivers* Y-yes, Erz-AHH! Erza! What are you doing?!
Erza: You. Me. Beauty contest. Now! *requips to sexy swimsuit*
Other Perv Fans: *nosebleeds* Heaven's doors are opening for us!
Erza: Come on, Lucy! I'm challenging you!
Lucy: I-I... V-Virgo?!
*le wild Virgo appears*
Virgo: The princess will be with you, Miss Erza. *suddenly spins Lucy*
Lucy: V-Virgo! W-what are you doing?! *suddenly stops* *wearing skimpy bikini*
Perv Fans: *ogles some more*
Ichigo: *pervy whistle* *grins* Nice...
Makarov: That a girl! *cheers* When it comes to girls, no one beats Fairy Tail!
*crowd cheers*
Rangiku: I'm not going to let them beat me! Oh no~! *begins to remove clothing*
Fans: *stares in anticipation*
Rangiku: *suddenly stops* I forgot... I'm not wearing a bra today, am I?
Fans: *heads tilt back* *nosebleed some more*
Rangiku: Taichou~ Can you get my bra in my bag, please?
Toshiro: *blushes fiercely* *stammers* M-Matsumoto!
Orihime: I-if Rangiku-san is joining... T-then... Then I...
Cana: *slurs* Hey! Don't think you're leave us out of the fun!
Juvia: For Gray-sama, I will win this contest! *eyes turn to flames* For love!
Chelia: That's right, Juvia-san! For love!
Evergreen: I'm going to win this, no problem!
Me: B-but it's not a real-
Mayuri: Nemu! I forbid you from losing to them in this contest! If there's money involved, I need it for my experiments.
Nemu: Yes, Mayuri-sama...
Nel: Nel wants to join, too!
Wendy: I think we're too young to-
*Nel glows, then grows, and becomes Nelliel*
Perv Fans: *drowning in nosebleed*
Wendy: *stares* *slumps* I wish I can grow like that... *sighs*
*Almost every girl is dressed in bikinis*
Me: This is getting out of hand...
Grimmjow: I'm gonna need a cold shower after this...
Me: Perv...
Grimmjow: *growls* F*ck you.
Me: No thanks, my life does that to me every day~ Moving on... Aaaand, nobody's listening... *sighs*
Jenny: Alright everyone! We're starting the very first Wizard – Soul Reaper Beauty Contest! I'm your host, Jenny from Blue Pegasus~
Mira: And Mirajane from Fairy Tail~ Let's all cheer for our contestants!
*Crowd cheers, still swimming in nosebleed*
Jenny: Let me introduce the judges! We have Fairy Tail's own Master Makarov!
Makarov: *gives peace sign* *grins* Do your best to make this old man proud!
Mira: Then there's Doranbalt from the Magic Council~!
Doranbalt: *awkward smile* I-I have no idea how I got dragged into this... But I'll do what I can!
Jenny: Good! Finally, we have Captain of the 13th Division, Ukitake Jushiro-san!
Jushiro: *raises hand slightly* Nice to be a part of this. I'm looking forward to this.
*Mira and Jenny introduces the contestants*
Milianna: Ne, ne, Kagura-chan~ Are you going to enter?
Kagura: No thanks... I'd just sit and watch.
Nanao: I don't think I can go out there, Captain...
Kyoraku: Don't be silly, Nanao-chan! *drinks sake* You'll do great!
Nanao: *blushes* T-thank you...
Me: *exhales* I've been taking a break for months, and the only time I could get this done... This happens... *looks at happy characters* I guess it's not all bad... At least they're happy, I guess...
Mira: That's all the contestants~!
Jenny: Now, let's proceed to the talent portion of the-
?: Hold it!
*crowd gets startled*
Ichigo: Who's there? *looks around*
Lucy: An enemy?
Natsu: Finally some action! *ignites fist*
?: Ho ho ho! There will be one, and only one winner of this contest! And that is me...!
*black blur lands down on the center on the stage*
Me: Shine some light there, please.
Ganju: Roger that. *nods to Bonnie*
*Spotlight shines down, and everyone stumbles, mostly vomit*
?: ...Oobaba babasaama!
*Silent wind passes*
Fans: Shows over guys, everyone home. Now!
Fan A: I think my brain broke...
Fan B: Tell that to my gut.
Me: *watches fans leave* *stammers* T-thank you for tuning in this week! And be sure to keep watch! I'm not through with this segment just yet! So many questions to ask, so little time...
Grimmjow: I guess I didn't need that cold shower... *gets splashed by water* What the hell?!
Nel: Kitty needs bath! *giggles*
Grimmjow: *vein pops* Little brat... Come here!
Nel: *starts crying* *laughs* Somebody's playing Eternal Tag with me! *cries some more*
Erza: And to think I got worked up over nothing... *clenches fist*
Me: Mm-yeah... You and most of the readers... But I'm sure it'll turn up soon~ That's it for today, minna-san! Ja Ne~