THE ADVENTURES OF ANGRY BOB by RAT

Angry Bob was angry. "I will read a book." Bob said. "Books make people happy."

Bob went to Barnes & Nobles. He picked up a copy of the Hunger Games. He immediately purchased it, and went home to read it.

He couldn't put the book down. He stayed up all night reading it. He bit off his fingernails when the Games began. He cried when Rue died. He cheered when Peeta and Katniss both won. He loved it so much that he attended a convention the next day.

When he walked into the convention, he saw a group of people arguing over which boy Katniss should be with. It was hand-to-hand combat between Team Peeta and Team Gale. Bob instantly got attention to himself. "Folks, please, it does not matter who Katniss is with, as long as we have all read the book that we love, and can't wait until the sequels." Bob soon realized that he shouldnt've stayed up all night reading.

For he might've seen the hardcover book thrown at his head.

Losing his balance, Bob fell, and toppled over the giant case of "Catching Fire" books. Bob got 10,000,000 papercuts and died.

Rat: Never read.

Angry Bob was Angry. "I will go to a movie." Bob said. "Movies make people happy."

Bob went to a movie theater. "Give me one ticket to a random movie." He got the ticket, and heard the ticket guy snickering as he walked away.

"He must've given me a ticket to a good movie." Bob told himself.

Bob went to the concessions stand and bought a pack of Twizzlers. "I am hungry." Bob said.

Bob sat inside Theater 12. He leaned back in his seat, as the movie began. "I will finally be happy." he said.

The THX logo appeared. And the opening credits faded in.

"JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER"

Bob made a handy noose out of the Twizzlers and hung himself.

Rat: Bieber sucks.

Angry Bob was angry. "I will go to the mall and act like Santa." Bob said. "Making little kids happy will make me happy."

Bob applied for the job. As he put on his suit, he was ready to face the day. The kids hopped onto Bob's lap and told them what they wanted for Christmas. Eight hours later, Bob was finally happy.

However, after 10 hours, Bob was tired of sitting, so he stood up for a few seconds.

And a little girl wearing high heels appeared before him.

The girl kicked Bob in the testicles so hard that his pelvis split his skull open.

Bob died. In the worst pain possible.

Rat: And that's why little kids love Santa.