Breaking Dawn

Disclaimer: I do not own Lux Pain, Baka to the Test or the Twilight series. Lux Pain is owned by KILAWARE and I don't even want to known Twilight because Stephen Meyer made it.

Kotoru, Mars, Sano, Serena, Sora, Fiore, Rinoa, Rinse, Arai, Kenny, Skye, Fuji, Kouji and Calum are my characters by the way.

Summary: Sora's suggestion of starting a rebellion using the Hellsing series gives Shinji a horrible idea to get back at Rinse. He'll need help from every anti-Twilight fan he can get…

Pairing: Hinted Ryo/Hibiki

Rated: T (for teen)

Genre: Parody, Friendship with Drama

Warning: Unintentional OOC, Twilight bashing, Stephen Meyer bashing, violence because of rapid Twitards, swearing and shonen ai.

Well, I saw the trailer for Breaking Dawn. They're ripping off Harry Potter by splitting the movie into two parts. And its bullshit that they said it's the best movie in the word. Are they even trying anymore? Anyway, this will ALSO be divided into two parts so that means more bashing. Enjoy, nippah~

Shinji Naruse thought that Sora Hihara's plan was the most dangerous but brilliant plan he ever came up with. He didn't know why these Twilight movies were getting in the theaters so fast. Perhaps it was because America got the movies in a huge gap that Japan is just getting them all at once. It was amazing at how stupid Twilight fans were.

The plan was simple; get in the line for the first part of Breaking Dawn part 1 dressed up as a vampire hunter and just insult the crowd. That meant cosplaying and cosplaying meant going to Sora's place in area 1 to choose one of his many outfits.

Shinji had to get as many people involved in this as possible. This was war and it was going to be gorier than the witch-hunt. Many lives would be lost, but it was time to stand up to the madness that was Twilight.

"So Shinji, what outfit should I wear?" Sora asked. "Should I be Alucard or Dracula? Or maybe a vampire from Vampire Knight."

"You go with Alucard." Shinji told him as he dialed Hibiki Kiryu's phone number. He only got the number from Atsuki Saijo (who said that Hibiki got his despite not giving it to him) and knew it would come in handy eventually. Shinji thought the day of them working together would never come but this was of the essence. "I'll probably just be your partner."

"Really? Sweet!"

Hibiki finally picked up the phone sounding very nervous. "Y-Yes?"

"Kiryu, get over to area 1. We are going to do it."

"No way…Rinse is waiting for me to screw up…"

"You can wear Zero's outfit…from Code Geass. Sora has one."

"I'll be there in a few minutes! Ryo, get your butt out of the room! We are leaving the safe haven!"

Shinji just chuckled at Ryo Unami's whining in the background before the cyan haired teen hung up. They were going to do this on midnight. While Sora was distracted with putting his outfit on, Shinji left the changing room to get on Sora's huge computer. He was going to report to everyone in Kisaragi to go to the midnight showing to get a laugh at the Twilight fans and to save the unfortunate souls that were going to get dragged into the movie.

Mika…I'll show you the light. Shinji thought to himself as he began typing.

Soon it wasn't just Hibiki Shinji called over. Shinji ended up calling everyone in the group that could make it. The only people that weren't at Sora's place were Mika (for obvious reasons), Atsuki and Akira. Akira's injuries were so bad that he wouldn't be able to participate in this epic event and Atsuki wanted to take care of the green haired teen just for the night.

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Rui Yamase asked pumped at this event.

"We're all going to be part of Team Alucard and walk into the movie theater as vampire hunters." Shinji confessed. "Basically, we can dress up as the real badass vampires…or Zero."

"I'm Zero." Hibiki said instantly as he rushed off without hearing the rest of the details. He just wanted to try on that cape.

"…Anyways…" Shinji continued. "We have to make sure these girls see the light…"

"If that's the case…" Ryo looked at the chair to see that there was a costume of Edward Cullen. "Why is there an Edward Cullen outfit on the chair?"

"…That's because one of us is going to be the scapegoat. If Edward is beaten up, by Alucard, then these girls should see how much of a pussy he is."

"That's…"

"I don't think that will work…" Yayoi stated bluntly. "I think that will send more people to the hospital…and I don't think Rui's sister will like that."

"You have a point." Rui said with a frown. "I would hate to see Alucard actually killed by those he's supposed to slay."

"I'm not going to be that stupid vampire if that's the reason I was dragged here."

"Uh…"

"It will be fine!" The upper classman announced as he came out of the dressing room wearing Alucard's costume. From the red trench coat to those pistols, Sora looked like the real thing…the only problem was he looked less insane and more cheerful, which wasn't what Alucard was. "All you have to do is follow my lead and everything will be fine. I have the best luck here, right?"

The group rolled their eyes when he said that. Sora was well known for having extraordinary luck that allowed him to turn the tides in tournaments he participated in and saved him from moral danger. It was like God was watching over him.

"We know but…" Shinji sighed at Sora's enthusiasm. "We still need to figure out who Edward Cullen will be…"

"Oh, we'll just play rock paper scissors between you and Ryo and we're good."

"Oh come on!" Ryo shouted. "I'm not being sent to the hospital!"

"Nope, you go now!"

Time went by fast. Once the moon rose in the sky, girls were lining up to see the first part of Breaking Dawn. All of them were talking about how this was going to be the best movie in the world. The boyfriends some girls dragged along were just going to be tortured for at least two hours. Zepher Sakura did not want to be there, but Rinse Higuchi forced him to go with her group. Zepher never liked the series and just wanted to stay neutral but people like Rinse were the reason why it was impossible to find a middle ground. He thought talking to Mika would be a good idea but she too was brainwashed by this series. He wanted to find an excuse to leave.

The excuse was coming their way. A tall man dressed in red walked toward them. He had pistols in his pocket but didn't bring them up for a reason. He chuckled as he made it to the middle of the crowd where everyone was standing and smiled.

"Hey…vampires don't sparkle. I'm a vampire hunter and I know this. Only fairies sparkle."

That was it. Zepher did not understand how everyone got their hands on a gun and pointed it at the man in red. He kept chuckling after his response.

"All I said was vampires don't sparkle."

Yayoi's group was just watching from a distance ready to jump in if things got out of hand…and it was going to be a bloodbath. Why weren't the police here?

"Fire at will!" Rinse announced as bullets (?) were shot.

The man just shook his head as he backed up to avoid the bullets. He didn't know if the guns were real or not, but he wasn't going to find out.

"Please stop firing…or I'll kill your precious."

The girls stopped firing when the man pulled away his cape to see a deformed vampire that was beaten and bruised. The girls screamed in agony upon seeing this.

"EDWARD?!"

"MY DARLING?!"

"HOW COULD YOU?!"

"YOU MONSTER!"

"Now ladies," the man continued, "what you have to do is simple. Stop watching the movie and Edward will be fine."

Mika was glaring at the man prepared to shoot him in the end for hurting her Edward. The man was Sora and just smirked. If all went well, then…

Me: TBC with 1587 words.

Li: You can't stop the chapter there!

Me: I can. My hand hurts and I'm making this story two chapters. I'm just waiting for part 2 of Breaking Dawn. I already know I'm going to mock that whole Bella cheats on Edward in real life and the baby. God, I laughed when I read that Twilight fans tried to horde the copies of the magazine saying that Bella cheated on Edward. Guess he wasn't so perfect after all. But that's it. Expect part 2 next year or when Breaking Dawn actually comes out. This story is way overdue so reviews are appreciated. Ja ne~

Li: Also note, guess who is dressed up as Edward Cullen. That's basically it.