Not Like I Think About You Constantly

By: Tracy Cook

Disclaimer: I do not own anything; these characters belong to the creators of Glee, One Tree Hill, and The Vampire Diaries.

Authors Note: This is an AU fic that focuses around Glee/OTH/Vampire Diaries. There will be NO VAMPIRES and characters may be slightly OOC, but I will try and keep them in character.

Pairing: Quinn/Rachel, Brooke/Haley, and Caroline/Rebekah.

Rating: M

Chapter Thirty-Two

Breaking Out, Locking In

Rachel smiled as she clicked the button on her Ipod to start the next song. As it started her eyes immediately filled with tears and she took in a breath to calm her nerves. It was like every song lately reminded her of Quinn and how much she was missing her. If they were happy songs they caused her to remember the happy times that they shared together, if they were angry she thought about Quinn's parents, and if they were sad. Well, sad songs were self-explanatory.

She stared down at the wires that connected the headphones and she followed the right one toward Brooke who was sitting beside her and sharing her music. She too looked absolutely devastated as she stared out the window longingly.

Rachel could only imagine what Brooke was going through.

It was a completely different situation than her own. Yes, they both missed their significant others and wanted to be with them. They both were depressed and feeling lonely. But, what made it different was that Quinn was being forced to not talk to her or see her, and Haley was doing so by choice.

She was choosing to not call her every night. And if she did not attend Nationals then that too would be her choice.

Sitting in the seat next to them were Caroline and Rebekah. The two of them were holding hands, but they looked to be a million miles apart from each other. Caroline's eyes were fixated on the window and Rebekah was watching her closely, visibly lost in thought.

She was trying her hardest to understand why her girlfriend had changed so much over the last two months. Why she felt the need to branch out and meet new friends? Why she changed so much of herself just to fit in with people she barely knew? But, no matter how many times she contemplated those questions, she could never find the answers that she sought. She knew that if she truly wanted to know what had changed in Caroline then she would have to ask her about it.

She had a feeling that it had something to do with Quinn and Brooke becoming preoccupied with their lives.

Rebekah glanced down at the other woman's hand and smiled gently as she traced over the delicate skin, running her fingers down along Caroline's fingernails. They were now painted black instead of the bright pink or blue that she usually painted them. As she traced over them, she thought back to the early signs that her lover was changing.

'Rebekah checked her phone again for a missed call.

There were none.

This was the third night in a row that Caroline had been late coming home from school. The other two nights, she had not shown up until nearly two in the morning. When she did show up she showed up smelling of smoke with her hair tussled around, talking about how her new friends from school wanted her to join their punk band. Rebekah had made a comment about how she didn't give off the punk vibes, laughing at the thought.

Which of course had only served to piss the other blonde off and fuel the fire inside of her to prove that she could do it. She was always trying to prove that she was capable of things. And she always took things to the extreme.

She was actually a lot like Rachel in that way.

Finally, that night she had shown up and this time Rebekah could tell that things had changed. She had pierced her lip, she was wearing dark eyeliner, she had on clothes that Rebekah did not recognize, and she had obviously been drinking.

"Where on Earth have you been?" The blonde Brit questioned as she walked toward her girlfriend with a look of concern written across her face. "I was worried sick about you, Caroline."

"Well, I'm here now aren't I?" She bit back drunkenly.

"Have you been drinking this evening?"

"Yeah." Caroline stated nonchalantly. "What's it to you?"

"What's it to me?" Rebekah exclaimed, her eyes wide in shock. She could not believe that she was acting like it was no big deal. "You were out all evening with complete strangers getting completely sloshed, Caroline! You don't even know who those bleeding imbeciles are! Any one of them could have done you harm—"

"—god, what are you my mom? They didn't do me any harm!" Caroline dismissed the idea immediately. "And those "imbeciles" as you called them are my friends, so I'd appreciate if you wouldn't call them names."

"You hardly know them, how can you call them friends?"

"I know that since my so called best friends disappeared, these people have been there for me! And now I'm one of them! So if you have a problem with them then you have a problem with me."

So Rebekah accepted that this was the new Caroline for the time being. She knew that people went through changes. That was all a part of life. She just hoped that the woman she loved wasn't going through changes for the wrong reasons. She hoped that she knew that even if Brooke and Quinn vanished from her life, she would always have her.

She did not need the validation of friends and popularity to make her special.

Caroline Forbes was and always would be the most special woman in the world to her.

Rebekah's lips twisted up into a sad smile as she pulled Caroline's hand toward her mouth and gently kissed the back of it.

O

Large brown eyes focused intensely on the notebook she had been scribbling ideas down in. Their glee club had decided to do original songs for Nationals and they were still missing one song. And she intended to be the one to write it as well as perform it.

So far, Rachel had come up with a few good ideas. All of them revolving around heartbreak and longing for the person that she loved. That seemed to be the only thing she was capable of thinking about as of late. It was the only positive that she could find in not being able to see Quinn. It had opened her eyes to the harshness of the world and it had made her a better artist. She now understood the longing of Romeo and Juliet, the need between Tony and Maria, and the devastation of losing someone who meant everything to you.

"Alright everyone!" Will Schuester said with a clap of his hands. "I have some matters that I need to attend to. I will be back shortly. All of you are to continue working on your original song ideas and no one is to leave the hotel. If any of you are caught in the city without permission you will be expelled and you will not be allowed to perform. Understood?"

They all nodded their heads.

Before Will could leave, Rachel's hand shot up into the air. She was always so curious and full of questions. "Yes, Rachel?"

"I was wondering how we are going to compete now that we are missing the necessary number of members needed?"

"Great question, Rachel." He smiled. "I have asked a few of your classmates to stand in. They will not be singing at the competition, but they will be there to allow for us to compete."

"Or maybe I could have my spot back."

Rachel's head snapped up as she heard a familiar voice. There was no doubt about it, that voice belonged to the woman that she loved. Her eyes widened as they landed on the woman standing in the doorway of the hotel room. "Oh my god, Quinn!" She squealed excitedly, jumping to her feet and running over to wrap her girlfriend in a tight hug.

She couldn't believe that she had actually shown up. She had so many questions running through her head, but she did not ask her. She did not wish to bombard and overwhelm her. 'How is she here? Did she ask her parents? Did she sneak out? Is she going to be in trouble? Does this mean our romantic weekend is back on? Oh my goodness I am so excited!'

"As I told you before. We would always love to have you back, Quinn." Mr. Schuester said.

The rest of the members of the club hugged her and welcomed her back. They had all been missing her. Strangely enough, Quinn was the glue that pieced everything together. Without her things just fell apart.

O

Brooke couldn't deny it. She was disappointed.

When someone had shown up at the hotel unexpected she had gotten excited. Her heart had started racing and her hazel eyes had filled with hope that it was Haley. Even though she knew that the voice belonged to Quinn. Somehow she had still thought it could be both of them. When she had witnessed that it was only Quinn her heart had sunk.

That wasn't to say that she wasn't happy for Rachel. She truly was happy that the starlet got the opportunity to spend the weekend with the woman of her affections. She knew that both of them deserved happiness just as much as she did.

But still, on some level, she had hoped that it had been Haley and not Quinn. She had hoped that she would get to have a weekend with the woman that she missed more than anything in the world.

Everyone gave her sympathetic eyes that made her upset.

The last thing that Brooke needed was their sympathy. She hated when people saw her vulnerable side and tried to help her. It made her feel like she couldn't take care of herself and her own problems, which she knew that she was fully capable of. She had always taken care of herself and she would deal with this on her own.

She would be fine.

And that was exactly what Brooke told her friends. It seemed that she was always telling her friends that she was fine lately, and those words were starting to sound empty and fake. They were starting to sound like lies. And truthfully they were lies. She was lying to everyone.

Missing Haley was tearing her apart. She felt like she had lost the one thing that had finally returned the happiness to her life, the one thing that had finally given her hope to go on and make something of herself. Every night she had nightmares about being separated from her girlfriend, losing her in a tragic accident, or Haley cheating on her and leaving her, and she didn't know how much longer she could take it.

She didn't know how much longer she could continue her relationship with Haley if it kept going like this.

Rachel chewed on her bottom lip as she stared across the hotel room at Brooke. She was staring down at her notebook and obviously trying not to start crying. It made her feel sick to her stomach and guilty that she got to have Quinn there and Haley wasn't there.

"Quinn, I am aware that this evening is supposed to be about the two of us, but Brooke really looks like she could use some company tonight. Perhaps we should invite her out with us." She suggested to the pink haired girl.

Brooke was still Quinn's best friend and despite wanting to be selfish and spend the entire evening with Rachel before going back to the hotel room and being intimate for the first time, she knew that her friend needed them. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

Rachel smiled and walked across the room toward Brooke. "Hello Brooke. How is the writing coming along?"

The cheerleader glanced up at her friends and quickly wiped the fresh tears from her eyes, embarrassed. "It's going fine."

There was that word again. Fine.

"Well I was wondering if perhaps you would like to take a break from writing and attend a Broadway production with Quinn and I this evening?" When Brooke gave her a hesitant look, she smiled widely and added. "It's a showing of Wicked and it should prove to be quite entertaining."

Quinn smiled as she watched the beautiful woman speak about Broadway. It was astonishing how the topic brought out a light in her that few people ever possessed.

Brooke thought it over. 'It could be fun, and get your mind off of Haley…but look at them, they don't really want you there. Rachel is just trying to be nice. She hasn't seen Quinn in so long they probably want to spend time alone… You'd just get in the way.'

"No, I'll be fine you guys. You two should go out and have a fun night." She stood to her feet. "I think I'm just going to head back to my room and get some sleep." Sleeping was all that she had been doing since Haley left on tour. It was the only thing that passed the time. Each time she went to sleep she hoped that months would pass and her lover would be home.

"It's only nine o' clock." Quinn pointed out.

Brooke offered her a sad smile and a shrug of her shoulders. "It was a long bus ride and I'm pretty exhausted. But, you two have fun." She said before turning and walking out of the room, tears threatening to escape her eyes. She fights them though. She doesn't want anyone to know just how truly weak and pathetic she actually is.

Once she reached her room, she quickly closed and locked the door behind her before leaning against it and pulling out her cellphone. Her tears were now falling freely as she dialed Haley's phone number and held the phone to her ear.

She listened to it ring over and over. Praying that she would answer and tell her that she was attending the competition, that she missed her, that she loved her and could not bear to be away from her any long. Praying that she would just answer at all.

But her phone went to voicemail.

Brooke listened to the message as it practically taunted her for the millionth time that month.

She hung up the phone and threw it across the room, watching it smash against the wall and shatter into a million pieces. Once again Haley was too busy to answer her calls. She was always too busy.

Brooke fell down the door and dragged her knees against her chest as she allowed herself to break down and cry. Her entire body convulsing as she gasped for breaths and her nails dug into the skin of her legs. She could no longer contain all of the emotions and depression that she felt. It was starting to consume her and she didn't like who she was becoming.

O

"Wasn't that such an astonishing rendition of Wicked, Quinn?" Rachel asked as they exited the theatre and started out into the streets of New York City. The young Broadway-bound starlet was completely entranced by the city of her dreams. Her brown eyes were wide with wonder and excitement and her smile stretched clear across her face.

Quinn couldn't recall another time that she looked so happy and in her element.

It was like when she stood on stage in front of everyone and sang at Sectionals, only amplified, and she loved it. The happiness emanating from the brunette fueled her and gave her reason, it made sneaking out of her house and possibly getting in trouble completely worthwhile.

"Yes, it was wonderful." Quinn offered her a genuine smile as Rachel looped their arms together.

Rachel started to ramble on and on about how the actresses fit their roles perfectly and how their voices sounded and the stage production, and she just listened. She loved it when she rambled. It was something that made her special and something that very few people appreciated about her. Rachel Berry was passionate about everything she talked about.

After she had relived every detail of the production she apologized embarrassedly and rested her head against her girlfriend's shoulder. She knew that her rants could be boring and annoying and she hadn't meant to go on and on. She had just always wanted to see a Broadway production and walk the streets of New York. And she was walking them with Quinn Fabray, the woman that she had been crushing on for as long as she could remember. The woman who was her enemy at the beginning of the school year.

It was truly a dream come true.

The two of them walked in silence for a few minutes and then Quinn's lips twisted up into a smile. "That's going to be you one day, Rach."

Rachel knit her brows together and stared up into hazel eyes with confusion written across her face. The statement seemed to come out of nowhere and she didn't quite understand the meaning. "What do you mean?"

"I mean." She paused and placed a kiss against her furrowed brow, laughing huskily as it relaxed beneath her lips. "That's going to be you one day. Out there on that Broadway stage, showing the world just how talented you are. They are all going to cheer for you and love you."

"Even you?"

"Of course I will, silly." Quinn laughed some more at the adorable woman. "I will be sitting in the front row cheering you on during your first show."

Rachel laughed and her smile spread as she squeezed tightly on her girlfriend's arm. It was amazing how the woman who had once tormented her endlessly was able to now show such affection and emotion toward her. "Do you really think that I will make it? I have my Nyada audition coming up next week and I am insanely nervous."

"You will make it, Rachel."

"How do you know that?" She asked frantically, her face covered with worry once again. Quinn could tell that she was about to go off on a nervous rant. "What if the judge does not approve of my song selection? What if I get up on stage and I cannot remember any of the words? What if—"

Her worries were interrupted as a pair of soft lips landed on hers and silenced her mind. Now all that she could think about was how wonderful Quinn's lips felt against her own and how sweet they tasted. "Mmm…" She hummed into the kiss.

When the taller girl pulled away and stared down at Rachel she laughed again. It was the cutest sight in the world. She was completely lost in bliss and her eyes were shimmering with happiness.

"I will never get tired of getting interrupted that way." She breathed out. "Now, what was I saying?"

"You were saying that you are going to do absolutely amazing at your audition and I am going to be there to cheer you on."

"How do you plan to be there? Your parents will never allow that." She pointed out hesitantly.

"My parents told me I couldn't go to Nationals either." Quinn grinned deviously and it was a look that Rachel found oddly arousing. The glint of rebellion in her eyes matched her pink hair beautifully. But, also worried her. "And yet, here I am."

"Speaking of which, how exactly are you here? If your parents told you that you were not allowed to attend then did you sneak out?"

Quinn wore a sheepish look on her face that answered Rachel's question. She had snuck out and driven to New York City without her parents' permission. Brown eyes widened in fear. "Quinn, please tell me that you got permission to leave your house!"

"Not exactly." She smirked.

"Quinn! When your parents find out that you snuck out of the house to have a secret romantic rendezvous with your lesbian lover in New York City they will burn you at the stake!" Rachel exclaimed dramatically.

'She is always overdramatic… or maybe not this time… they probably will burn me at the stake, but I don't give a shit anymore.'

"They aren't going to find out."

"How can you be so sure? What if they do find out?" She still sounded mortified.

"If they find out we will deal with that when the time comes." Quinn informed. She just wanted to have a lovely weekend with the woman she loved, it didn't matter the consequences. "I really just want to focus on us this weekend and forget about my parents."

When Rachel still looked uncertain and nervous, she leant down and placed a reassuring kiss to her forehead. The gesture put the diva at ease and she smiled and rested her head back against Quinn's shoulder as they walked down the street. She did not know what would happen when they got home, but she knew that this was going to be a weekend that she would remember for the rest of her life.

O

Rebekah and Caroline walked arm in arm out of one of the many stores that featured New York City's upscale fashion. They had both been far more interested in seeing the designer clothes and handbags then the art side of the city.

For the most part they exchanged idle chit-chat about the sights. But, Rebekah could not get her mind off of the changes that the other woman had made. She just could not wrap her mind around what had driven her to go to such limits, to transform her physical appearance and grow distant with everyone that loved her. She was angry with her mother all the time, she never called Brooke or Quinn anymore, and they didn't see each other as much.

She wondered if she would ever be the same. She wondered if she would ever be the woman that she fell in love with again.

The blonde Brit was trying her hardest not to ask, because she did not want Caroline to think that she was comparing her to herself. She would love her no matter how she dressed or what she acted like.

Rebekah just wanted to understand.

Chewing on her full bottom lip, Rebekah fixated her eyes on the other blonde and decided to take her chance. "I have missed seeing you at school and in glee club, Caroline."

Caroline rolled her eyes. She hated that her girlfriend continuously told her how much she missed the old her. "Sorry." She stated shortly. "I just haven't really had the time to go, with band practice and such. Plus, I don't really see the point to go anymore."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Perhaps in order to maintain your grade point average? I am aware that your grades have been slipping and I am worried—"

"—Look, I already got the lecture from mom, okay? I don't need it from you too."

"Your education is important, love."

"What is with you guys!? Why don't you understand that I don't even care about school! School was never my thing in the first place!"

"But, school is very important. What about college? What about your future?" Rebekah was terrified by Caroline's attitude. She could not comprehend why she suddenly did not care about school or making something of her life. It didn't make sense to her. She had a bright future ahead of herself and she was a very intelligent girl.

"My future is gonna be in this rock band, Rebekah. And as for college, screw college!"

"Caroline!"

"Don't Caroline me! Seriously, what the hell would I even do in college?" She exclaimed, pulling her arm away from her girlfriend's and throwing it around frantically. 'Why does she care so much about this!? Jesus!' "A while ago I told my mom that I wanted to be a news reporter and do you know what she said to me? She said that I can't be a news reporter, she laughed at me and asked if I even read the newspaper!"

Silence filled the air between the two of them and Rebekah watched the beautiful woman closely. She felt terrible that Caroline had lost herself and she just wanted to help. "I hate to see you giving up on yourself."

"Why do you even care? No one else seems to, so why don't you just give up on me like everyone else?"

"Perhaps if you discussed how you were feeling with your friends then they would understand what you are going through." Rebekah offered sadly.

"I already have." She paused and realization suddenly hit her. She laughed and shook her head, "Oh wait, you mean Brooke and Quinn don't you?" She laughed a little louder. "Those two aren't my friends!"

"Of course they are. They love you. We all love you."

"They don't love me at all!" Caroline insisted. The strength and conviction behind her words broke Rebekah's heart. She didn't know when her girlfriend started to feel so negative toward herself. Perhaps she had always felt that way. Perhaps that was why she always felt that she needed to be prom queen.

"They do love you."

"Yeah right." She stated sarcastically. "Those two have never cared about me! I was just there! I never fit in with either of them! Quinn always had the perfect GPA and was the head cheerleader, she was the prom queen and the prettiest girl in the school! She was always every ones first choice, not me! And Brooke, she's got her clothing line now! Did you know that she actually has someone here in New York interested in her clothes?"

Rebekah hadn't known that. Honestly, she felt completely left out of the loop now. She was never really a part of the group. She wasn't friends with Quinn and Brooke, nor was she friends with Rachel and Haley. She was just dating Caroline. So now that Caroline was out of the loop, so was she.

They never called her up to hang out or talk.

"I didn't know that." Rebekah whispered. Now it was all making sense.

"Well, she does! She's showing them her designs this weekend and she is probably gonna become some famous fashion designer and leave me behind! And you know what? This band is the first time in my entire life that I finally feel like I have met people who care about me! They need me in their band. And I am their first choice."

These words truly shattered the British woman. She felt like Caroline was implying that she hadn't always put her first, when she had. She had sought her out from day one and dedicated everything to her.

"You have always been my first choice, sweetheart." Rebekah reminded her, taking a step toward her and reaching out to stroke the hair from tear stained cheeks. "I have wanted nothing more than to be with you since my arrival in Lima Ohio. You are the only reason that I even stayed in that Godforsaken town."

This brought a smile out of Caroline and that made Rebekah's heart leap with joy. She continued her explanation as she tangled her fingers in her hair. "And I know that this is not you, Caroline. You do not have to put on makeup or pierce your lips in order to fit in, you do not have to be a cheerleader, or have a perfect GPA. You do not have to pretend to be someone that you are not. I love you for who you are deep inside, all of the flaws and all of the beauty."

"Then you will love me even if I choose to do this with my life."

Rebekah knew that she would. She would love Caroline no matter what, even if she did not agree with it. Gently she traced her fingers over her neck as she caught blue eyes with her own. "I shall."

"Good." She couldn't believe that despite everything her girlfriend would still love her. It made her question everything about herself and the choices that she had made. It made her feel special. Rebekah always had a way of making her feel like the most special person on the face of the Earth.

"But, I want to make certain that you are choosing to do so for the right reasons. And I also want to know that you are safe. You've been committing crimes and smoking, it is not only the new attire, and I do not think that these are healthy habits to have—"

"—there ya go sounding like my mom again!

"Well, perhaps she has a point Caroline!"

Suddenly they were both interrupted by the light of a flashlight pointed directly at their faces and a voice, "Excuse me, Miss!"

Both women turned to look at the person who was pointing the flashlight at them. They immediately recognized him as a police officer and Rebekah's body stiffened.

"We got a call from one of the local stores. They said that they spotted a young blonde woman shoplifting from them." The officer explained in an even tone.

Rebekah glanced over at her girlfriend with a look that said, what the hell? She was completely baffled. The entire time that they had been in the store they had been talking and she had not witnessed Caroline steal anything.

"It wasn't me officer." Caroline said teasingly. It was like she didn't even care if she got arrested.

"Do you mind if I check in your bag then?"

"Actually, we gotta get going—"

He interrupted Caroline by reaching over and grabbing ahold of her arm, before looking into her bag with the flashlight. He sighed and reached into the bag pulling out a few articles of clothing that Rebekah recognized from the store that they had just went into. Her eyes were wide with shock as the officer handcuffed the woman that she loved.

"You're coming with me."

O

Author's Note:

Hello everyone and THANK YOU SO MUCH for your wonderful reviews! They were all so positive and told me to keep writing so I definitely added a new chapter for y'all! I hope that you guys enjoy it! Please tell me what y'all think! I love hearing from you guys! What do you think will happen next? :)

Oh and within the next few days I will be adding another chapter somewhere toward the middle of the fic to show Quinn/Brooke/Caroline and Kurt/Rachel/Haley's friendship, and also approximately 1000 words to each chapter… including more Faberry scenes! So please do keep an eye out for that!

Thank you all for reading! I love you guys so much!

-Tracy Cook