For those of you following my fic, Saving Chaos, this is the mature rated version of chapter seven. I left the mature content out of the main story because I originally wanted to leave it as rated T, so I've posted it here instead.

I'm sure I don't need to say that it took me by surprise. However, this was the second time I'd ever been spontaneously tackled by a woman and had her lips pressed against mine.

I'm not bragging, I promise. It was just becoming an unusual pattern.

Ellie's lips felt differently than Meg's had. They were a bit thinner, and not as smooth, but they were warmer, and gentler. The kiss had taken me off guard, and I'd stopped in the middle of my sentence as she'd reached out suddenly and wrapped her hands around the back of my neck, before firmly pressing her mouth to mine.

I froze the moment it happened, opening my eyes wide in shock, only to find Ellie's squeezed tightly shut. I waited a moment, expecting her to pull away as Meg had, but when she stayed close and only slightly moved her lips against mine, I didn't know what action to take.

My mind whirled for a of couple short seconds as I wondered how to react. I thought back to how I'd handled the situation last, but treating her as I had the demon girl seemed extremely inappropriate when I briefly considered it. Dean and I had had a conversation later about the video I'd found on his laptop, and that it wasn't the best way to go about getting girls "on the off chance that I ever had the opportunity." During the conversation I hadn't actually inquired as to what was appropriate.

In those very short moments of panic, when I couldn't think of a proper way to react to Ellie's advance, I put my hands to her shoulders and pushed her away from me. Probably more roughly than I intended. She pulled away gasping before looking up at me with hurt in her eyes. I could have dammed myself right then and there, but before I could say anything, she'd dropped her gaze and put her hands to her hair.

"I'm so sorry," she blurted out, her eyes darting around the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't think I shouldn't have done that. Oh, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!"

I stared at her wide eyed, trying to decide what had just happened. Blinking rapidly, I tried to find my words. "Ellie, I apologize it wasn't you. I… just…"

"I'm sorry, Castiel, please don't go." She took her hands from her hair and put them to my wrists, pulling my hands up in front of her. "Please don't go, I just didn't think… I mean I thought you wanted… Oh, bollocks!"

"I did," I almost shouted it and snapped my mouth shut as she darted her eyes up to mine questioningly, her eyebrows knitted together with nerves. "I did," I managed out again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just didn't know what to do. I apologize."

"No, no," she said, lowering her eyes again and shaking her head, her voice still high and fast-paced. "I shouldn't have just jumped on you, it was a stupid thing to do. I should have known better. I just have had these feelings building up in me for so long and I haven't known what to do about them, I mean, Christ, you're an angel. I worry about you constantly, I only feel normal when you're around, which is ridiculous but true, and then you go and say something about feeling attached and worried about me, and of course my stupid, female mind is jumping to conclu-"

She talked fast, but all I heard were words of her true emotions, and the next moment I couldn't stop myself. I dipped my head, pressing my lips against hers as she had done to me, taking note to be gentle. I left my hands at my sides, not wanting to do something wrong with them, and closed my eyes in hope that I wasn't about to be shoved away as I'd done to her.

Instead, Ellie's rambling ceased and her body almost immediately relaxed. I felt her warm hands against my face before her fingers tangled into my vessel's hair. The feeling of it was almost weakening. I heard a low moan and realized that it was coming from myself as I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.

Ellie pulled away a few moments later and I copied her, not wanting to seem foolish by persisting. She kept her eyes closed and leaned her forehead against my own, breathing deeply.

"Elizabeth," I whispered questioningly.

"Hm?" She kept her eyes closed and briefly poked her tongue from between her lips to wet them.

I found myself lifting my hand to her shoulder to steady myself. "I've never actually had an occasion to ... I don't know what's customary."

She lifted her forehead from mine then and tilted her head at me questioningly. I mirrored her action. "There's nothing customary," she whispered with confusion. "I don't like it, I guess I just let you know."

I let out a shaky sigh. "That doesn't sound as simple as I was hoping for."

She dropped her head, closed her eyes and smiled brightly to herself, letting out an awkward laugh. I knitted my eyebrows together at her action, but before I could ask anything, she lifted her face back up and stepped closer to me, not letting me see her face. Reaching her hands inside my coat she found the belt loops of Jimmy's dress pants and hooked her fingers in them before leaning her head against my chest. I hesitated, lifting my hands to rest on her shoulders.

We stood in her living room like that for a time, her cheek resting against my chest, my chin resting on her head. I took a few moments to consider her words, and when I eventually gathered enough courage, I found myself slipping a hand from her shoulders and down her back, following the strings on her dress. Ellie sighed, and I felt her squeeze me gently for a moment before moving her hands to my upper back. Lifting them just under my collar she moved the trench coat off of my shoulders, down my arms and past my elbows. I pulled my hands from the sleeves and watched her as she folded it over and laid it on the windowsill beside her.

"I feel strange without that on," I mentioned.

I saw a grin tug at her lips again and she put her hands to my hips, causing me to half lean, half sit against the arm of the couch. She said nothing as her fingers toyed with the buttons on my shirt and gingerly began undoing them. I watched her hands with interest for a time before raising my eyes to look into her face. Her brow was slightly knitted and her tongue was poking from the side of her mouth as though she was concentrating.

"What is it?"

"The last time I was doing this I was still in college," she whispered, her voice slightly wavering. "And he was far from anything like you."

"Is that bad," I questioned, tilting my head.

"I just wasn't this nervous if I remember right. Even my first time with him, which is saying something considering he was the only guy I'd ever really liked. My first kiss in high school wasn't even a big deal." She moved her hands to the last button on Jimmy's dress shirt and pulled it open before dropping her arms.

I narrowed my eyes a bit. "Your first kiss wasn't nearly as proper as it should've been."

She lifted her eyes from my chest curiously. "You were there, were you?" Her voice held a hint of amusement.

"Daniel Taylor was about as charismatic as a chimp," I said flatly.

Ellie tilted her head at me, before reaching up to loosen the braids that tied her hair up, letting it fall down her back and around her face. "You think you can do better than Danny Taylor?" I noted almost a hint of challenge in her voice. "He was a champion football player in my school."

"Soccer doesn't impress me."

Ellie smiled her second long smile and reached her hands under my undone shirt. I shivered as her fingers touched my skin. "Cold."

She snorted humorously through her nose. "Sorry. Can't help it. Low blood pressure and all." Trailing her hands up to the lapels of Jimmy's jacket, she curled her fingers around them, and tugged them down over my arms as she had the trench coat, and I pulled my hands out of the sleeves.

Ellie laid my shirt and jacket on the arm of the sofa beside me, and I noticed she still seemed to be avoiding my eyes. Even when she turned back to me to place her fingers against my stomach, she left her gaze to where her hands went. Looking down, I noticed she was tracing the light, still slightly raised scars from the sigil that I'd carved into my chest. Her eyes were distant, but clouded with concern.

"You're trembling," she said after a moment of silence.

I scanned my eyes over the bookshelf behind her and gripped the arm of the couch that I was still leaning against. "I'm afraid I'm nervous," I said quietly.

I closed my eyes at the sudden feel of her lips against mine and felt my own part, moving against hers softly. To my surprise, it seemed almost that I reacted out of habit, and I suddenly realized that the action had come naturally. Gingerly, I removed my hands from gripping the arm of the sofa and lifted them to Ellie's face, resting my fingers on the back of her neck. My thumbs delicately caressed her cheeks and I closed my eyes when she didn't protest, relishing the moment.

Her own hands slid from the back of my neck and down my chest and stomach, causing me to shiver. She was still rather cold. When her fingers hesitantly drifted lower, my breath caught in my throat and I leaned my forehead against her shoulder as my knees went weak.

"Is that not okay?" She whispered it, sounding concerned.

"I don't know," I choked out, squeezing my eyes shut.

I felt her freeze for a moment, before she reached up to lightly tangle her fingers in my hair. I let out a moan as a wave of what I thought must be pleasure pulsed through me, and I gripped her shoulder tighter. I felt her turn her head slightly, and her warm lips pressed against my neck. Another shiver went through me, and when I felt her hand drift below my waist again I let out a throaty growl.

"Just relax."

I nodded against her shoulder and felt her kiss the nape of my neck again, her fingers tugged tighter at my hair. She stepped closer to me, bringing her other arm up so her fingers touched my face. I felt her hips press into mine, and my body reacted to feeling her so close, sending a hot rush down through my center. My hands went to her hips and pulled her tighter against me, my fingers tugging at the soft fabric of her dress.

I was hardly aware of her kicking away her shoes as she began fiddling with my belt and the clasp on my pants, and the moment both were undone she pushed against me gently and I slid easily over the side of the armrest, landing softly on my back and onto the cushions of the couch.

Ellie caught herself as she fell over me, her elbows to either side of my shoulders, face only inches from mine. I gazed up at her breathlessly as I felt her fingers tangle into my hair again. "Are you okay," she asked quietly, studying my face, "you're still shaky."

I nodded in reply. "It's for a different reason." In truth, I was still very nervous, but the other feelings running through my vessel were more than overpowering it.

Ellie grinned her second long grin and shifted her weight to her knees, hooking her thumbs in the loops of my pants, starting to tug them off. I focussed a moment, willing them away from me instead, along with what was left of my clothes. Jimmy's ring stayed on my finger.

Elizabeth pulled back in surprise as the waistline of my pants vanished from between her fingers, and a moment later her cheeks flushed when she noticed all of my attire missing. She looked back up to my eyes, her expression unreadable. I kept my face calm and attempted breathing normally, finding it difficult even though I technically didn't need to breath at all.

I watched her from the couch as she leaned down to lay a kiss over my eye, her warm breath ghosting across my face. Sitting back up, she moved her hands down to the hem of her dress, fiddling anxiously with the soft material, her eyes shifting. I watched her curiously as she crossed her arms over herself and then lifted the dress over her head and off of her shoulders. Her hair lifted with the tie around her neck as she pulled the red fabric over herself and off of her body, only for it to fall down her back again, the brown waves swishing silently over her shoulders.

She turned over her shoulder and laid the dress neatly over the arm of the sofa with my shirt and jacket before turning back to me slowly.

Seeing her body in it's entirety almost felt sinful. Guilt clouded my emotions and I couldn't help turning my head away to gaze shamefully out the window. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was certain she could hear it. From the corner of my eyes I saw Ellie tilt her head in confusion, and felt her adjust herself to sit over my hips more comfortably. Another hot rush came over me at the movement and my breath caught in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

"What is it?" Her voice was low and filled with concern.

Swallowing, I continued to gaze away, trying to collect my thoughts. "Nothing," I whispered back, fearful of what she might say if I told her the truth.

"Cas, please?"

Her tone was morose and pleading, urging me to adhere. Reluctantly, I pulled my gaze back up to hers, careful to only meet her eyes. Her eyebrows were knitted together, dark eyes squinted slightly, almost begging.

Something tugged in my chest and I let out a breath that could have easily passed for a quiet sob. I sat up slowly, studying her face closely, and reached up to run a hand through her hair. She looked back at me questioningly and pained, searching my expression, and I leaned in to kiss her apologetically at the corner of her mouth. Seconds later, her shoulders dropped acceptingly, and she draped her arms over me.

She had a softness about her that I almost wouldn't have expected, and her warmth mingling with my vessel was a bliss that I could't describe. I wrapped my arms around her to pull her close to me and she pressed forward, causing us to collapse back into the sofa cushions.

Ellie's hips pressed tightly against mine and I pulled my lips away from hers to gasp at the feeling of it. She reached her hand down between us and I felt my body stiffen, and the soft heat that came afterward sent ripples of ecstasy through me. For a moment my mind went blank. A second later, Ellie was holding me close, quiet whimpers coming from her throat. I realized that my fingernails were digging into her back and loosened my grip on her.

"Ellie," I managed out through racking breathing, "What-"

She stopped me with a kiss, putting her hands to my face and tilting my chin up to look her in the eyes when she pulled away. "Whatever feels right to you."

I pulled her close to me then, pushing her to the side and moving myself over her, so she lay back against the cushions where I'd been. I lay next to her on my side, with her legs draped over my own, my hips pressed against the back of her thighs. I tangled one hand into her hair as the other I trailed over her chest and stomach. Carefully, I pressed my hips against her.

Ellie let out a slow breath that escalated into a low moan. A shiver ran through me at the sound of it. Moving a hand up to push the hair out of her face, I leaned forward, kissing her softly and pressing into her again. She hummed against my mouth as I did.

Gripping her shoulder I continued to move against her, adoring the soft sounds that came from her as she sighed my name. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me flush against her, and tilted her head back, her eyes squeezed shut and she whimpered almost uncontrollably. I gazed at her in intense admiration, seeing a side of her I'd never seen, before moving to kiss her neck and jawline.

"Cas..." Her voice was trembling as she tangled her own hands in my hair again, and I let out a growl. I heard her soft laugh as she pulled harder, lifting my head up to kiss me deeply. I felt my fingers dig into her shoulder as pleasure ripped through my body and I moaned pitifully against her lips.

Ellie suddenly pulled her mouth away from mine, tipping her head back as she arched against me. Her hair fell over her face as she bared her teeth, her eyes squeezing shut tightly. My name escaped her lips once more before she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me down to rest my head against her shoulder.

Ecstasy tore through me as her own body shook, the sound and feel of her running through me. I felt my nails scrape against her skin as I gritted my teeth, and heard my own voice speaking in a continuos river of different languages as I tried to stay on this earth. In those brief moments I felt closer to her than I ever had. Memories of our time in Heaven flashed through my mind, accompanied by visions of her life, yet none of them seemed as real or as important as now. My mind racing, I hid my face in her shoulder, and heard myself whispering out strings of prayers in Enochian. I wanted nothing more than to keep this feeling of closeness.

Only a couple of minutes later, Ellie's body relaxed as she breathed deeply, her eyes closed. Her hands slipped from my shoulders and fell heavily to the couch cushions. I held her tightly and rested my head against her shoulder as the overwhelming feelings began to subside between us. I could have cried at the lack of closeness, but relaxed as she brought a hand up to run it softly through my hair. Then, instead of the sense of separation I expected, I found myself feeling contented and calm. Ellie's free hand found mine resting on her stomach and she tangled our fingers together. I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Your heart is beating rather abnormally," I commented. I was surprised when Ellie almost froze for a moment before bursting out into a loud, beautiful laugh.

"That's the first thing you say?" Her smile lit up her face and I found one spreading across my own, confused as I was.

"What should I have said?" I asked curiously.

She smiled still, and shook her head, shrugging. "I don't know. Maybe it was just the way you said it. No one is usually casual after... that." She squeezed my hand. "Go to sleep. I'll hum something."

I said nothing and rested my head against her shoulder again…

Ellie stirred, groaning softly, and a strand of hair fell lazily into her face. She snorted through her nose and shook her head, attempting to move it away, only for it to fall right back over her eyes. She let out a growl of annoyance, moving to pull her hands out from under the blanket over her, but I reached down and gently tucked the strand behind her ear.

Ellie's eyes fluttered open, her brow furrowed. Her brown eyes searched the living room for a moment, before moving up to my face. "Cas," she groaned out with a smile. I offered her a small smile and she pulled her arms around my middle tighter, taking a moment to tug at my jacket. "When did you put your clothes back on? I didn't feel you move."

"I didn't."

She shifted again and seemed confused. The strand of hair fell into her face again. "Celestial entity super powers?"

"Is that what you call it?"

She giggled a bit, and pulled the blanket over her nose. "It sounded better than saying Jimmy's suit is your avatar's default setting."

I tilted my head. "Pardon?"

"A girl at work got me into Warcraft." She paused before shaking her head. "Nothing."

I closed my eyes as she nuzzled her face into my jacket, and ran my fingers through her hair. Moment's passed, and I reminded myself that I needed to leave. I'd been gone from Heaven for hours and it was nagging in the back of my mind. An itch I couldn't scratch. Yet, a few more minutes with her couldn't hurt. It was the first time I'd felt fully sane in days.

Ellie stirred again and I looked back down to see her face distorted into confusion.

"What is it?"

She poked her tongue out the slightest bit to wet her lips. "I saw something. I keep trying to decide if I dreamed it, but I don't think I did."

"Dreamed what?"

Her brow furrowed again in thought. "I think... I think I saw your wings. At the end. You know, when I…" She trailed off and her distant eyes studied my tie.

"I understand," I said stoically.

"Do you think I imagined it?" Her voice came muffled from under the blanket.

I shook my head. "No. Though I have no knowledge to assume that it has ever happened before. This is the first time anything like this has happened."

She reached out a hand to fiddle absentmindedly with my tie and I lifted my own to caress her wrist. "What? An angel being with a human?"

"An angel falling in love with an angel," I corrected. She lifted her eyes to mine, wide and bright as she scrutinized my face. "Particularly one with their Grace missing," I finished, and Ellie's face fell. She went back to studying my tie.

"Though there is a story," I said quietly, turning to look out the window. Sometime in the last few minutes it had started raining and drops were pelting softly at the glass. "You may have heard it before, as it was told by humans. It was said that there were once two angels who met in Heaven and fell deeply in love. Their passion for one another was stronger even than that of their love for God, and for that, God punished them. He separated them across the universe so that they might forget one another with time, but instead, they became so desperate for each other that they began moving the stars and planets to make a bridge so they would someday meet in the middle. The story was suppose to be the creation of your-"

"Milky Way," she finished. "I have heard that before." She tugged at my jacket again. "It's not true?"

I pulled my gaze back to her and looked at her morosely. "No," I said quietly. "The last angel that moved the stars out of passion hated humans. He tore Heaven apart until he was banished from it, and took all those who stood by him along with him."

"Lucifer."

I nodded and looked back out the window.

Ellie pulled her arms out from under the blanket, and lifted herself up, her hands on either side of me. She pulled herself closer to me and looked me in the eyes. "Maybe I did see your wings. It was only for an instant, but they've said before that it is while in the throws of ecstasy that you are closest to Heaven." She met my eyes. "They almost seemed to flicker around you, outlined with light. You were wrong about the color though."

I leaned forward brushing my forehead against hers. "Then, please. Correct me."

She grinned and blew a stand of wavy hair out of her face. "Well, they aren't mousy like you said. They're more sandy. Mousy implies the color not being vibrant, like…" She pulled a strand of hair in front her. "Like this."

"I like that color."

She dropped the strand and smiled. "Me too. Though I must say, I like blue a lot better."

I narrowed my eyes. "I don't think my Father has made that a possibility yet."

Ellie grinned her second long grin and leaned forward a bit, planting a kiss over one of my eyes. "Not for hair, anyway," she said quietly. Shrinking down into the space between myself and the couch cushions she rested her head on my chest again, closing her eyes.

"Ellie," I said gently, "I must leave."

"I know," she replied, her voice morose. "Just not yet. Please."

I thought a moment and let out a sigh. I was sure Rachel and the others could handle things while I was away. I lead them, but they'd fought along side me long enough to know what actions to take. Nodding in acceptance, I rested my head back against the arm of the sofa. I would leave soon, but not yet. Maybe I would even sleep a bit and hope to refresh my mind.

In that short amount of time, nothing could happen.

No judging, heh. Please review.