A/N: Wow, so that last chapter I have to say I am really freaking proud of! It was pretty dark, though, wasn't it? I need to get a little bit of happiness in this story before everyone gives up on it completely! It will start with a TRIGGER WARNING (which seems to be the norm) but I am pretty sure positivity will ensue…soon after! YEY!

BTW: Leslie E – my heart is so happy that you're still around! Thank you for giving me a second chance!

BPOV

I was finally feeling better. Well, bodily anyway. It had been a few weeks and stitches and staples had been removed, physical therapy had commenced, and I was pretty much running Edward's house. It had been about a month since I had come to live with him and Emmett and I was still trying to figure out how they actually survived on their own. Sure, they had the dogs handled – no problem – but themselves? Who actually fed them before me?

I smiled to myself as I took a few extra minutes in bed under all the soft, warm covers. If I was really honest with myself then I'd have to admit that this room wasn't like this prior to Edward knowing I was coming to stay. There was absolutely no way. It was like he had gone into my mind and pulled out everything I loved and turned it into my own little bedroom oasis. I would never tell him I figured that out, though. He'd probably be embarrassed.

I was playing with strands of my hair, curling them around my fingers and watching as the red, copper, and brown shades glittered in the stream of rare Forks sunlight. Suddenly, the comfort I was in was gone. Flashes of memories blotted out the sunshine, crippling me in my place.

Flash! "You stupid bitch!" James's fist connected with my kidney and I doubled over with a violent cough. "How many times do I have to tell you to press my work pants a certain way? I worked almost a whole day with the cuff of my pants cockeyed. I looked like a fucking idiot!" Another blow connected with my stomach. I gasped for the air he punched out of me. I didn't have the guts to tell him it was how his pants met his boots because it couldn't possibly be anyone else's fault but my own.

Flash! "Quit gagging or I will hold it down your throat until you pass out." James growled at me as he shoved himself into my mouth over and over again, going way too deep for my gag reflex. It wasn't something I could control but he didn't seem to care – never cared. I wept as he continued assaulting my throat trying to put my mind anywhere but there until he was done.

I sat up in bed trying so hard to breathe through my panic. Why did this have to happen? I was doing so well, why did he have to ruin it again? I felt the tears burning lines down my face as I shook as memory after memory filled my eyes.

Flash! "You've got such gorgeous hair…" James ran his hands through my hair delicately. I shivered, for once he was being sweet. It was our anniversary and everything was going so well. Dinner was done right, I was plucked and waxed in all the right places… It would be a good night. "Bend over." He growled. Wait, what? "Bend the fuck over!" I jumped but did as he said. I stood from my seat at the dining table and leaned over the table to support myself. He stood up, grabbed a large wooden spoon off the counter and hit me with it over and over again until I couldn't keep from calling out. "Shut up, whore…" He hissed and was inside of me before I could register his movements. I instinctively tried crawling up the table away from him when he wrapped his hand in my long hair and pulled. My neck popped so I stopped moving, giving in to whatever he wanted – as usual.

Not anymore. Not. Anymore. I scrambled out of bed and started searching for the one thing I needed – right now. It wasn't in my room, so I ran down the stairs to the kitchen. They had to have some there. No one was home – Edward had told me that he and Emmett were going on a dog run that morning so I was all alone. Rummaging through the drawers in the kitchen I found what I wanted.

I ran back upstairs to my room and stood in front of the mirror as I grabbed my hair up again and started cutting wildly letting the remnants of his 'gorgeous' hair fall around me. My chest was heaving from the silent sobs that wracked my body.

"You will never touch me again!" Chop

"You like my hair? Fuck you!" Chop

"Why are you in my head?" Chop

"Just leave," Chop. "Me" chop, "Alone!" chop.

"I hate you! I hate what you made me!" I choked with one final chop. I dropped the scissors and stared at myself.

Well, that wasn't the brightest of ideas now was it? I thought to myself as I turned my head this way and that fussing with the hair left on my head. How haut couture, I smiled. The back was completely obliterated while the front hung in my face. I could see where this might work if I let an actual professional fix it. I sighed and cleaned up my mess. The hair would take time to get used to, but it got the memories and voices to stop.

"Bella?" A very small voice came from the other side of my bedroom door. I froze. Who was in the house? "Bella? It's Alice. Is everything OK in there?"

"Alice?" I asked, my mind racing. I hadn't seen her since high school when her family moved. Alice, my best friend in the whole world. Alice, the best friend who knew I was in love with her brother. Alice… shit.

"Yes! Now can I come in? You sound upset." Her voice was muffled through the door and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah…"

"Oh, Bella I…" Alice ran up to me and stopped in her tracks as she took in my look. My bruises were mostly gone (they were that ugly yellow-y green mess now) and you know, the hair… "What the hell happened in here?"

"I cut my hair." I stood a little prouder than I felt.

"Uh huh. Listen – that's cute and stuff but can I suggest something?" Alice said trying not to laugh.

"A professional?" I slumped.

"Yeah, sweetie. Come on, let's go!" She grabbed me by the arm and damn near dragged me out of the house to her car. Excuse me – yellow Porche! What?! She drove me into Port Angeles and deposited me in the chair of some poor hair stylist with a huff. "Fix this!"

About an hour later I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded. "Not bad!" It was definitely short in the back, almost shaved, leaving the sides a little longer and the bangs swooping down like a very, very short inverted bob. The natural waves in my hair were much more pronounced now that it wasn't so heavy.

"My treat. Come on, let's get you back before my brother…" she was interrupted by her cell phone. "finds you missing…" she finished with a sigh. "Hello, brother mine." She grinned into the phone and I rolled my eyes as I followed her back to her car. When we got in and turned it on her phone sync'd to the vehicle and I heard his voice in Dolby surround sound. It was really, really nice.

"Have you heard from Bella? She's not home." I blushed when he said that. Like it was just so natural to call it home with me there. I had to get a grip – I was so messed up! I did not need to put that kind of baggage on a man like him.

"Yep! I've got her right here. She's gonna need to borrow the vacuum." Alice answered.

"None of that sentence made sense. I understood all the words – like – they're English, but put together like that it made zero sense to me." I could almost hear his confused face. It was a cute face…

"We'll be back soon." And she hung up. The rest of the ride was silent which wasn't uncomfortable. We had about five minutes left when Alice finally spoke again. "I wish I'd known. I'd have gotten you out of that."

I shook my head, "Alice, no one was going to get me out of that situation. He had me completely under his control. Think about it – I didn't even try to tell my dad."

"I want to kill him. Slowly." She growled. The sound was comical because of how little her voice was. I smiled.

"Get in line, babe!" I grinned at her and she winked. "I missed you. I didn't know it, but seeing you now? I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too! Now, how are the idiot boys treating you?"

"They're awesome. They've been so nice and patient with me. Of course, that could be because I've had to feed them. Do they even know how to turn a stove on?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh my God! Bella, they're taking full advantage of you. Edward knows damn well how to cook. What an asshat!" She laughed. I blushed.

"He…they must just like my cooking, then." I had to look out the window to hide my red faced grin of triumph.

We arrived home soon after that and I headed up the front porch, scratched Jake behind his ears and walked in the door. "Welcome ba…" Edward stopped mid-sentence. This was going to get old, quick.

"Yep, chopped my hair off. Moving on." I sighed, getting more and more self-conscious as his eyes stayed locked on me. I ran my hand through it with a huff. "Is there something wrong with it?"

Edward seemed to shake it off and looked anywhere but at me. "No! It's beautiful."

"OK! Enough flirting… why haven't you called me? You said you'd let me come visit when Bella settled in and it's been a month. She seems pretty settled. So what's the ish?" Alice stomped her way in and stood with her fists on her hips.

"It slipped my mind. We've kind of been going through some stuff." Edward mumbled.

"Likely excuse. Anyway, I have to get to work. Don't keep using Bella as the help or I'll kick both of your asses." Alice pointed at Edward and then at poor Emmett who just happened to come in the door.

"The hell'd I do?" Emmett huffed in confusion.

"I don't… Bella, do I treat you like? Oh my God, why didn't you tell me? I'm no better than that…"

"Hey! Stop it! You're nothing like…him. Just, it's fine. Alice thinks you guys are faking it with the no cooking thing so I keep cooking for you. I don't mind. I enjoy making food for you guys. It's the least I can do for you letting me stay here." I stopped the madness by waving my hands around and shushing everyone. "Now. Alice, go to work. You've scolded us all enough for today." I laughed.

"Oops, sorry Bells." She had the decency to look chagrined and wrapped me in a hug, kissing my cheek before skipping out of the house. I just shook my head.

"She's fucking insane." Edward breathed. I giggled. "What? She is!"

"Who wants lunch?" I beamed. Cooking always made me feel better.

"Actually, I'm heading out for the day." Emmett called as he headed down to his lair.

"Let me make you something instead. Alice is right, we've kind of taken advantage of your cooking prowess." Edward threw that devastatingly beautiful crooked grin my way and I caved – instantly.

"OK." I squeaked. "I'm just going to go shower and clean up the mess I made. I'll be back." I blushed and headed up to my room.

When I got into the bathroom and turned the water on to regulate the temperature I undressed. It was hard to look at myself in the mirror since I was hospitalized this last time. So many marks and scars, but mostly my flattening belly that once held life. I knew it was not meant to be, that this child wasn't supposed to come into the world for whatever reason, but it still sucked so bad. Of all the injuries inflicted on me by that evil monster of a husband, this one was the most unforgivable.

I stepped into the hot water with a sigh. I loved when the water was just a little too hot, making my porcelain skin pink. Scrubbing gently with my soap suddenly Edward's face came into view. I stopped what I was doing and shook it off. No, I could not let him in. He'd be destroyed by my fucked-upped-ness. I continued washing my body and when I closed my eyes to rinse his beautiful green eyes were in my mind again. I shuddered. Damn it, damn it, damn it! I got out and dried off, trying to block him out of my mind. I could not let him invade me like that. I had too many problems and he didn't really need to be subjected to them all.

He actively let you in, my mind corrected. That didn't mean I had to go down that road… But you want to, so why don't you? He's better than James, and he can protect you. Was I schizophrenic? I really needed my inner voice to leave me the fuck alone.

I let my new hair just kind of – be – and threw on some black leggings and a blue tank. I wasn't going anywhere at the moment so I thought I'd simply be comfortable. Unlike my husband, no one in this house expected me to be presentable at all times.

Following my nose (someone had made grilled cheese and tomato soup, I'd know that smell anywhere) I almost skipped into the kitchen. Edward's back was to me as he plated the food and I watched his back muscles through his shirt move with a shiver. Stop – it – now! He almost dropped the plate so I hurried to his side. "Hey! Be careful, you're still sidelined." He jumped and looked down at me and suddenly his face was as red as the soup he had dribbled on the counter. "Careful! Don't burn yourself." He shook his head and laughed nervously.

"Damn, this cast does me no favors." He grumbled. I moved our meal to the table as he cleaned up the spill. "What to drink?"

"Water is fine, thanks." I said, tucking into my plate. "This looks and smells so good!"

"Campbell's soup with bread and cheese? It's not like it's gourmet!" Edward laughed.

"You don't understand! This was my go-to comfort food when I was a kid. Takes me back to the days my dad would take care of me when I wasn't feeling good. God, that was a long time ago." I said, thinking back on better times.

"I hope you like how it tastes and not just how it smells." Edward's face was pink again. If I didn't know any better he was having as hard of a time with this as I was with me living there.

We ate our lunch mostly in silence. You couldn't really talk much when you're shoveling delicious buttery, cheesy goodness in your mouth. When the food was gone I took a deep breath. I had to clear the air or we'd both be beyond uncomfortable living together. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" He smiled up at me.

"I just need to tell you something."

"OK?" He looked a bit concerned now and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"I have no idea what is going on here – none at all – but what I do know is that I am constantly thinking about you and I want you to know that. I didn't tell you back then, and I should have, so I am doing it now." I could feel the heat rise and could just imagine how red I was. I could not believe I actually had the guts to say that out loud. Who was this new Bella?

Edward didn't say anything. He just stared at me. I got really nervous then. Maybe I was reading him wrong? Great, I just ruined everything. I'd have to move out and never talk to him aga…

What was this?

His lips were on mine and I was in his arms. My eyes flew open and I could see his five o'clock shadow, his mussy hair, his long eyelashes – shit! He's kissing you! Either engage or abort, but pick one! My mind caught up with the rest of me and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I kissed him with everything I had. His lips tasted like freedom, his tongue tasted like strength, and his breath cleansed my soul. It didn't matter what happened next, as long as I had this.

A/N: Well, that went everywhere. What will happen after the kiss? Awkwaaaaaaaaard? Or Awwwwwwww? If you were in Bella's shoes, what would you do?!

Thank you again for reading and sticking around. This is a tough one to write, but listening to my Spotify Dark Beauty playlist brings the angst out in me. See you on the next one!
Joie