Chapter 5

Callie's POV:

It has been two weeks since Sophia's birthday…two weeks since my idiot best friend, if I can even call him that anymore, verbally ripped out my wife's heart and served it to her on a platter in front of all our friends.

Since then, his visits with Sophia have been the only time I speak to him…he knocks, we exchange the baby, I tell him the basics about what she will need and when, and then he leaves. There is no small talk, no friendly conversation…it's cut and dry. My wife…my gorgeous, amazing wife…the mother of my child, won't even look at him. Mark enters…Arizona exits. That's the way its been since the party.

You can only imagine my excitement when I get to work this morning and see that Mark's name is not on any of the surgical boards. He didn't ask to have Sophia today, so I assume he is spending some quality time with himself since none of our friends have really been talking to him either. I text Arizona to let her know that she will be having a good day indeed, not having to worry about running into her nemesis or God forbid, having to perform surgery with him.

She replies right away, saying Awesome…now I can drop the peanut off without running into him. I'm so excited, I might even want to celebrate in an on call room later. See you in a bit, just getting Soph's bag packed up. Love you.

I smile, knowing she is happy. Ever since I found her crying on our bedroom floor, making Arizona happy is the only thing I can think about. She is probably getting sick of all the attention, though she hasn't complained yet. Oh God, just wait until she's pregnant. My new intern is looking at me funny…he must be noticing the goofy grin on my face as I think of a pregnant Arizona. I snap out of my incredible daydream so that I can get started on my rounds.

I grab my charts and start checking on my post-op patients from yesterday. Everyone seems to be doing well, with no complications arising during the night. I don't have any surgeries scheduled until two today, giving me some much needed time to hit the lab and work on my cartilage research. I call over my new intern, James, who has been assigned to assist me with this. We spend the next hour talking over the details of my research, going over all the samples I have stored in the lab.

I glance at the clock and realize that Arizona must be in by now. She is supposed to start at ten today…but like every other morning that I start before her and she is in charge of dropping Sophia off at daycare, she will be late.

Sophia's caregiver, Donna, told me once that Arizona is the most doting mother she's ever seen…that she takes the extra time to unpack all of Sophia's belongings herself, returning home if need be one the occasions that she forgets something. Then apparently she has to drag herself away from the baby several times before she actually leaves. I don't think I've ever heard anything more endearing…well, maybe the way Arizona talks to Sophia like she's her best friend…or the way she tells her really funny, yet almost always inappropriate bedtime stories about the way we met in a dirty bar bathroom or how the magical on call room saved her day.

Who am I kidding? Anything involving Arizona and our daughter is positively adorable and mesmerizing…and just fills my heart with joy. There are days when I still can't believe the woman I married didn't want to be a mother. Donna is right…she is the best mom ever. I only hope that I can live up to her in Sophia's eyes. Arizona tells me I am crazy to think that Sophia favors her over me…and I know my baby loves me, I do. But there are times when no one but her mommy will do. I say she's just as in love as I am. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I turn the corner into the Peds wing, hoping to steal a few minutes with the beautiful blonde who has been occupying my mind. I catch a glimpse of her as she comes out of a patient's room…a super magic smile on her face. I'm really glad her day is going well.

"Hey you," I say as I approach the nurses station. "Having a good morning?"

"Yes, yes I am Calliope," she answers cheerily, the bubbly persona I fell in love with in full swing. "I am stress-free so far, because I don't even have to worry about seeing a certain someone today. It does make me a little nervous though…why he would have the day off and not want to keep Sophia. Very odd, don't you think?"

"Hmmm, I guess," I say, thinking about it some more. "Maybe he's too afraid to ask us for any extra time with her."

"Well, whatever it is…I'm glad he's not here today and I'm glad Sophia will still be with us. She is too freakin' cute Callie. This morning, she didn't want her breakfast again…she wanted mine. I think I'm just going to resort to cooking us both the same meal from now on. Anyway, I made pancakes…well, tried to. You know how it goes with me in the kitchen. Let's just say they were a little overdone."

"You mean burnt?" I interject, not being able to restrain the small chuckle that escapes. "Charcakes again?"

"Yeah, whatever…that's so not the point," she says, nudging me with her elbow.

"Back to my story. So anyway, Sophia takes a bite of the pancake and obviously it's terrible. The look on her poor, sweet face…but she keeps watching me as I choke down mine, and she does it too. She copies my every move, swallowing with a hard gulp and pounding her sippy cup like I pound my coffee. Freakin' adorable. We totally have to make another one…I don't think I can live without seeing something like that again.

"Another burnt pancake? You want to torture us all with your charcakes just so we can watch Sophia be adorable. Believe me, she is adorable without choking down your food."

"No silly," Arizona says, stepping very close to me. "Another baby…I meant, we totally have to make another baby," she whispers in my ear.

And just like that I am returned to my daydream of a pregnant Arizona, imagining what she would look like with a baby bump under those scrubs. She will be beautiful…positively radiant. God, she is already glowing just talking about having a baby. We really need to talk to Addison.

"I love you…so very, very much," I say to her before pulling her in for a quick kiss. Just then, my pager goes off. Looks like there was a cancellation and I now have an OR available….just need to let my patient know I'll be moving up his surgery. "Well my lovely wife…I have to go put a crazy skydiver back together," I say as I steal just one more kiss. "Enjoy saving your tiny humans in peace today. Meet me for lunch at the daycare later?"

"Sounds good," she says, smiling brightly. "Oh, and Calliope…I love you too…so very, very much."

I wink at her before dragging myself away and heading towards the elevator, wishing I could just go back and be with her. I guess this is what Arizona feels like when she drops off Sophia. I am usually the first one in to work in the morning…partly because it means I get out earlier to pick up the baby and make dinner…and partly because I hate dropping her off. The few times I had to do it, I swear I almost quit my job. I'll have to remember to thank Arizona for having that crappy responsibility so often.

Three hours and a successful surgery later, I head to the daycare to have lunch with my wife and daughter. I see Arizona wheeling down the hallway towards me on her Heelys, a huge smile on her face. I cannot help myself, and when she reaches me I just grab her and pull her in for a very inappropriate kiss. She giggles, then looks around to make sure the coast is clear before returning the favor. I hold the daycare door open for her, gesturing for her to go in. The director is on the phone when we walk in, but quickly puts whomever she was talking to on hold, and asks what we are doing there.

"We're here to have lunch with Sophia," Arizona tells her, an eyebrow raised at such a silly question. At least one of us manages to make it for lunch everyday…if we can swing it with our schedules, we go together.

"Um…Sophia's not here," the director informs us. "Her father picked her up about an hour ago…said he had the day off but needed to run some errands this morning. I assumed you two knew about this."

I immediately take out my phone and call Mark's cell. Nothing…no answer, straight to voicemail. Oh my God…he took her. He took our baby…without telling us. Why? Why would he do that? Unless he is up to no good. I mean, I know he isn't happy with the two of us…but this is crazy. My heart is racing as all of these thoughts go through my mind.

I whip my head in Arizona's direction, seeing the same look of utter panic written all over her face. Before I can say anything, she runs full force out of the daycare, throwing the door open so hard it hits the wall.

"Arizona, wait…calm down," I say to her, feeling anything but calm myself. I am worried sick, but we won't accomplish anything if both of us lose it.

"Calm down?" she yells as she paces the hallway. "Calm down? He took her Callie…and God knows where they are or what has gotten into him. The fact that he just picked Sophia up without telling us first…well, that scares me. He's never done that before…he knows we're gonna be freaking out. He wants us to freak out…oh my God, he is such a bastard. If we don't find them in an hour, I am calling the police Calliope…and don't even bother trying to stop me."

"I won't," I tell her sincerely. "We are going to need them to restrain me from killing him. Seriously…why would he do this? I know things have pretty much sucked between all of us since the party…but it's not like we've kept Sophia from him. When it comes to her, nothing has changed. It just doesn't make sense."

"I don't know," Arizona says as the tears begin to fall. "What if he is so mad and jealous that he actually planned this…to take her for good. Calliope…"

"Ok, ok," I say as my own tears surface. "We are going to find them…we are going to get our little girl back, safe and sound. I promise. And then we are going to call our lawyer and make sure this never happens again."

"I guess before we completely freak, we should call him again…see if he picks up. Maybe he heard how angry you were and…"

"No answer," I say, hitting the redial button on my cell phone. "God damn it Mark," I yell, dropping to my knees in the hallway. "What if you are right? What if

he packed up their stuff and took off with her? What if we never see her again?"

Arizona extends her hand, pulling me up off of the floor and throwing her arms around me. "We'll find them…you were right the first time. Don't worry baby, we'll get her back. We have to get her back."

Arizona and I decide to try the apartment. We page the chief and inform him of the situation at hand…he gives us the rest of the day and tomorrow off. I call Cristina and tell her to make everyone aware of what's going on, in case they happen to run into Mark.

We run across the street to our apartment building. Arizona waits down in the lobby while I run upstairs. Our place is empty….no evidence of anyone being there. Then I go across the hall to Mark's place, knocking loudly before using my key. I open the door to find another empty apartment, making my heart sink in my chest. Where could they be? I start rummaging through Mark's desk, hoping to find a clue as to where he could have gone….hotel reservations, tickets, anything. I find nothing…nothing at all to help me discover their whereabouts.

I race down the stairs to find Arizona pacing the lobby on her cell phone, leaving Mark yet another message. She sees the look of disappointment on my face and lowers her head, then throws her cell phone across the room.

"God damn it!" she cries, wiping the tears that are streaming down her face. "How could he do this? Not to us…but to her? What if she's scared Callie?"

Just then, the doors to the lobby slide open…and in walks Mark with Sophia. Thank God. Thank God she's ok….thank God he brought her back.

"Oh, hello," Mark says, looking like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"What the hell,, Mark?" I scream, running to grab Sophia out of his arms. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Mama," Sophia says, looking up at me with her little hand reaching out to touch my face. Arizona comes up behind me and kisses our daughter, breathing a heavy sigh of relief.

"Hi sweetheart," she says to Sophia. "Mommy is so glad to see you, peanut."

Then, turning towards Mark, Arizona says, "Seriously Mark, what were you thinking….taking her like that? What were you going to do? Keep her away from us…is that why you were coming back here? To get your stuff?"

"What?" he yells. "No! It wasn't like that. Wait…you guys think what…that I was going to kidnap her or something?"

"Um, well actually…" I say, causing Mark to narrow his eyes in disbelief. "Things with us haven't exactly been good…and then we show up at the daycare for lunch to find out you took her…without telling us. What do you expect us to think?"

"Calm down Cal," he says. "Just calm down and listen…ok?"

"Don't you tell her to calm down Mark," Arizona chimes in as she takes Sophia who is anxiously putting her arms out for her. "Do you have any idea how worried we were? We called you like a hundred times…then we came here looking for you. We were going to call the police, Mark."

"Ok, ok," he says, shaking his head. "I should have told you I was going to pick her up. It's just…I had the day off unexpectedly, and the way things have been lately…well, I thought I could just take her to the park for a couple hours, then bring her back. I didn't think you would even know…."

"Didn't think we would know?" I yell at him. "Come on…you know we have lunch at the daycare with her almost every day."

"Yeah…between twelve and one," he says. "That's what Donna told me when I called this morning. When I got to the hospital, I saw that you had surgery at two…so I figured you guys would have definitely had your visit already."

"My surgery got moved up," I tell him. "Not that it really matters. Point is…you should have told us. You can't just take our baby without telling us Mark. It's not like we would have said no…no matter what, neither one of us has ever denied you the chance to spend time with Sophia."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry for everything. It won't happen again…I swear Cal."

"No, you're right," I tell him. "It won't happen again because we are going to sit down with our lawyer and work out a custody agreement, so…"

"Callie…" he says in a pleading tone.

"No Mark," I say, looking him straight in the eye. "No…I thought we could do this. I thought that we could be parents together…and work it all out ourselves, without getting other people involved. But lately…the way you have been acting. I just…I don't trust you right now Mark."

I can tell my words sting as he swallows the lump in his throat. I look over at Arizona, who seems just as shocked at my words as Mark.

"Arizona…" Mark calls to her.

"No way…don't even think I am going to help you out with this one. Callie's right…you haven't been the same lately. Ever since Sophia's birthday when you…"

"I'm sorry," he says to her. "I wasn't going to ask for your help. I was just going to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining Sophia's party…for embarrassing you like that. I'm sorry for what I said…I didn't mean it. I didn't mean for any of this. I just want to be important to her…I want her to know that she has a father too."

"She does know that," I tell him. "You might not have the same relationship with her as we do…but she knows you're her daddy and she loves you. Isn't that enough?"

"It's gonna have to be," Arizona interjects. "If you want to keep things civil…not have strict arrangements that will ultimately give you less time with her….then being her father, independent of us, is gonna have to be enough. You can't be a part of our family Mark…I just….you can't. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but Callie and I are the ones who got married. I think you forget that sometimes."

"You're wrong there Arizona," he says with his head hung low. "Believe me…it's impossible to forget that you guys have something that I might not ever have. But that's not your fault…hell, I don't even know if it's all my fault. It's just the way it is. And I won't make excuses for my behavior…just please, both of you, think about giving me another chance before you go see a lawyer."

I look at Arizona, wanting to gage her reaction to this request. She just puts her hands up, basically saying it's my call. I'm still so pissed right now that all I really want to do is punish him…to call a lawyer and set up an arrangement where likely he will get Sophia every other weekend and maybe once a week. But I don't want to punish Sophia….he's been a good father to her, and she loves her time with him. I honestly don't know what to do.

"I'll think about it Mark," I tell him. "Arizona and I are going to have to discuss a few things, and then we'll let you know. But for now…I think we all need to take a little break from one another. You can visit Sophia at the daycare this week….and we'll keep her all weekend. Maybe that will give you some time to really think about the kind of father you want to be…the kind of man. And my wife didn't want me to do this…didn't want to complicate things. But since they are already complicated….if you ever speak to Arizona the way you did at Sophia's party, our friendship will be over. Do you understand me?"

Humbly, Mark lowers his head again before bring his eyes up to look at me. "Got it…sorry Cal." Then, turning to Arizona, he says, "I really am sorry….for what it's worth."

"Well…there's a long list of people you need to apologize to," Arizona tells him. "Not only for your behavior at the party, but also for the worry you've caused them today. If I were you, I'd head right over the hospital and explain to all our friends, and the chief, what happened…and let them know Sophia is safe and sound with us."

Mark shakes his head in agreement, then says goodbye to Sophia and leaves.

Arizona calls the daycare and lets the director know that Sophia is alright, and that for now we would like Mark's name off the pickup list. I take a very tired Sophia from my wife, and bring her home…where she belongs. I know she is fine…that she was always fine…but I still feel relieved that everything turned out alright.

"Do you think we overreacted?" Arizona asks when she comes to join me, watching our peanut sleep peacefully in her crib.

"I don't know," I answer truthfully. "I guess maybe we assumed the worst…but he shouldn't have put us in this position. Everything would have been fine if he had just called. Ughhh…why does he have to be such an ass?"

"Because he loves you," Arizona replies. "And he's jealous…and an ass."

"Arizona please, Mark doesn't want me in that way," I say, not wanting to spark an argument between us. "I told you…him and I have always been strictly friends with benefits. And that part is over for good…the benefits part I mean. There are no feelings involved here…beyond friendship, that is."

"I know Calliope," she says. "That's not what I meant. Hear me out…Mark has been your best friend for a long time now. You too have shared everything…laughs, secrets, sex, even a child. And now you are married…to me…and things have changed. You don't hang out with him as much or talk to him about everything…thank God, you will never sleep with him again or make another baby with him. He sees us building a life…a family, with his daughter…and he is jealous. He's jealous not because he wants a life with you, but because he wants a life. Aside from Sophia, he has no one…no family."

"Are you feeling sorry for him Arizona?" I ask, shocked that she has even an ounce of sympathy for him after the crap he pulled today. "Because I don't…not anymore. I used to, that was the problem…remember? I felt so sorry for him that I let him overstep and intrude in our life way too much. If he could just grow up and stop acting like an ass all the time, maybe he could find someone…have his own life. I mean, he screwed things up with Lexie twice now…and she was the one girl I think might have done him some good."

"I agree…I like little Grey," Arizona states simply. "She's cute and sweet and perky, like me. She was good for him, and that was good for us. He didn't try to meddle in our affairs so much then. Anyway, I don't feel sorry for him really…I just think maybe we could give him another chance to at least keep his life as a dad. Besides, do you really want to drag a custody thing out in court? That won't be good for anyone…especially not Sophia."

"You're right…and I kind of feel the same way," I tell her. "But he has to take this seriously…he can't just have a temper tantrum every time something doesn't go his way, and lash out at us or take off with Sophia. Maybe next week, once we all calm down a bit, we can sit down and talk. Until then…well, I think he needs to be a little scared."

"So…what?" she asks. "We don't let him see her this week? Kind of hard when we live across the hall, don't you think?"

"Not if we're not here," I say, causing her to raise a suspicious eyebrow. "I called Addison this morning after you said we needed to make another baby….you know, so we can feed them burn pancakes."

"Very funny, Calliope," she says with a smirk. "Why didn't you tell me you spoke to Addison."

"Well, I was planning on talking to you about it when we had lunch," I inform her. "And you know how that went. Anyway, she said whenever we could get out there she would love to help us. She's already working on a list of doctors in and around Seattle, and she will have the fertility specialist at Oceanside join us when we get there. So basically, all you have to do is say yes….I mentioned it to the chief this morning when he stopped by the lab. He had no problem with us taking a week off to fly to LA…said he knows Addy is the best and we should have the best."

"Looks like you have it all figured out then," Arizona says. "Whoa…."

"What? Are you alright?"

"Yes….just whoa…we are going to have another baby," she says with a brilliant smile. "It might take a while…I don't know. Just promise me one thing Callie…"

"Anything," is my response.

"Promise me you won't get too disappointed if it doesn't happen right away," she says, looking a bit sad just thinking about the potential difficulties. "We have to be prepared in case this isn't as easy as it was for you….you know what they say? Things don't always happen when you want them to."

"And they also say…if at first you don't succeed, try, try again," I whisper in her ear, pulling her close to me.

"Hmmm," Arizona mumbles as she puts her arms around my neck. "You know what saying I like even better? Practice makes perfect. She nibbles on my earlobe a little after saying this, and I instantly feel the blood rushing to my core.

"Why don't we move to our bedroom…we can practice."

I don't even answer her…I just dart across the apartment to our room, looking back over my shoulder to make sure she's coming. When we are both naked in our bed, I lean down to kiss her gently. "I love you Arizona," I whisper before pulling her back in for a much longer, more heated kiss. She lets out a contented sigh, telling me she loves me too. I kiss my way down her perfect figure, stopping to pay attention to her stomach…the sacred place where our baby will be residing. I kiss her belly, running my fingers gently across the smooth skin there.

Arizona looks down at me with tears in her eyes….no words are necessary for her to know what I'm thinking. She pulls me back up to her face, lavishing me with tender kisses as she whispers, "We're going to make a baby Calliope….you and me, we're going to make a beautiful baby."

Hearing those words make my heart melt and my core ache to be one with her. I kiss her all over again, heading further down her body until I reach the beautiful spot I will soon be filling to make our baby. I kiss her there, causing her to arch her back and cry out in ecstasy. I dip my tongue inside of her briefly, before pushing in two fingers while I continue to kiss her sensitive clit. She grabs my hair, dragging her nails across my scalp as she pushes and pulls me in whatever direction she needs. I know she is reaching her climax when her breath hitches and she calls my name, over and over, until I feel her walls tremble around my fingers. I linger inside of her for a moment, until she pulls my hair towards her, letting me know she wants to see me.

She kisses me quickly before rolling us so that she is now the one on top. Placing her usual kiss over my heart, she kneads my flesh beneath her, causing me to moan and whimper the closer she gets to my core. "Arizona…please," I manage to breath out while she nips at my breasts and digs her fingers into my pelvic bone. She instantly moves her hands lower, spreading my legs as she slides her fingers to cup my ass. While working her magical tongue in and out of me, Arizona circles her thumb around my clit until I am on the verge of an orgasm. Then she stops completely for a minute…just to torture me, before thrusting two fingers deep inside of me while I come. She collapses on the bed, laying on her side to face me.

Arizona looks into my eyes deeply, and we just get lost in one another. I lay there beside her, taking her hands in mine as we continue our loving gaze. After a few moments of blissful silence, Arizona says, "I am so excited about this Callie. It still seems crazy to me sometimes how much I want a bigger family. I just…I love Sophia so much, more than I ever thought I could love anyone. She just turned a year old, and I already feel like time is just slipping away. I can't imagine our lives without a tiny person in it anymore…the way I feel right now, we could actually have those ten kids I promised you."

I laugh into her hair, breathing in a mixture of fruity shampoo and erotic sweat…I always love the way she smells after we make love. I pull back to kiss her with all the love and passion I feel, then tell her, "I am so excited too. I can't wait to experience every part of this with you…the ultrasounds, the first time the baby kicks, the birth. I'm pretty sure no matter how that goes, it will be much better than the first time around with Sophia."

After a year of recovery and healing…on so many levels, we are able to laugh at that statement. There is no longer the bitterness and regret of how our daughter came into this world…we have learned to accept it, embrace it even. But it will be so amazing to experience a pregnancy in its entirety…to watch my beautiful wife deliver our son or daughter. I can't help but get choked up just thinking about it all, and am only snapped out of my reverie when Arizona wipes away a stray tear.

"I know Calliope," she says, understanding me more than any other person in the world. "It's going to be amazing."

"Yes it will," I say. "Amazing." I lean in to kiss her again, but am quickly interrupted by the sound of our peanut calling to us on the baby monitor. I go and get her while Arizona takes a shower. I feed her some dinner and make a bottle for bedtime, grabbing everything we will need for tonight….diapers, her boo boo bunny, her chupo and blankey. When I reappear in our bedroom with an armload of stuff, Sophia trailing behind me, Arizona looks at me like I've lost my mind.

"What are you doing?" she asks, taking some of the things out of my hands before they drop to the floor. "I'll give her a tubby while you take a shower Cal…you didn't have to bring everything in here though."

"Um…yes I did," I tell her, gesturing to our bed that Sophia is trying to climb into. "Special occasions, remember?"

When it finally sinks in that Sophia is sleeping with us tonight, a huge smile forms on Arizona's face. "Special occasion for sure," she says while scooping Sophia up in her arms. "After today, I never want to let her go," she says as she peppers Sophia's face with kisses.

"Well…you'll at least have to share," I say, snatching the baby from her and lavishing her with kisses of my own.

I shower while Arizona gives Sophia a bath…then we all snuggle up in bed reading stories until Sophia crashes. Arizona and I eventually drift off to sleep…her playing with Sophia's gorgeous ringlets while I trace lines across her belly. I can finally be at peace…my two girls safe and sound in my arms.

Chapter 6

Arizona's POV:

I still cannot believe we are in LA….that Callie and I are going to meet with Addison and her colleagues to discuss our options for getting pregnant. Sophia is snuggled up beside me in our hotel room, watching Sesame Street, while my gorgeous wife makes us breakfast. Guess she didn't want any burnt pancakes this morning. After making love several times last night, in an attempt to "practice" our baby-making, we are both going to need a good, hearty meal before our big appointment later on.

"Ok girls, breakfast is ready," I hear Callie call from the luxurious kitchen in this insanely expensive hotel…Addison arranged for us to stay in this amazing suite, said it was her very late wedding gift to us. The woman helped save Calliope's life and delivered our daughter….I think she's got the gift thing covered for life, but Callie didn't want to argue with her when she insisted.

I change Sophia's diaper quickly before heading out to a delicious meal of French toast and sausage. "Smells great," I say, placing a tender kiss on the corner of my wife's toast-filled mouth. "Thank you."

"No, thank you…for last night," Callie whispers, swallowing so she can give me a proper kiss. "You are by far the most beautiful, sexy woman on the planet."

I feel myself blush a little…after all these years, her words still have that affect on me. "Well, we did say practice makes perfect, right? And this baby will have to be pretty perfect if they're going to hold a candle to our peanut," I say as I pass Sophia to her mama.

"Sharing your genes…this baby will definitely be perfect, don't you worry," Callie says with a smile. I watch my wife as she puts Sophia in her high chair and cuts her up some toast and sausage. "There you baby girl," she says as Sophia rocks her little body back and forth with excitement. "Oh, you're just so happy that Mama is the one cooking again, aren't you?"

I nudge Callie with my elbow for teasing me about my horrible cooking, feigning offense although we both know she is absolutely right. Sophia may choke down my food, but she certainly never gets excited about it. We eat, letting Sophia make an incredible sticky mess with her syrup, and discuss the situation we left with her father.

"Was he really fine with us taking her for the week?" I ask Callie. "I mean, last week we didn't let him see her unless he visited the daycare…and this week we flew her to LA."

"Actually, I think he was fine with it," Callie says, refilling her coffee cup. "He was just so glad that I was actually talking to him, he didn't even care what I was saying. He knows he screwed up, and he's afraid…at this point, I think he will go along with any arrangements we make."

"Well, I hope we can work this all out when we get back," I tell her. "Don't get me wrong, I've loved the extra time with Sophia…and of course, I wouldn't want to leave her to come out here…but I think she misses him. It's good for her to have a few days with her dad, and it will be good for us to have some alone time before we add another child to the mix."

"Well, I have to agree with you there," Callie says, a half smile forming on her mouth. "Besides…I do still want Mark as a friend. Don't be mad at me for saying this…ok? But I miss him."

I shake my head at my wife, pulling her in for a very passionate kiss. "As long as you don't miss him like this…"

"Hmmmm, never have I missed him that way Arizona," Callie purrs in my ear. "In fact, I have never missed anyone that way before you. I know you don't like to talk about it…but the few times we were apart, I just…you're all I could think about. That way…every way."

I see the tears pooling in her eyes a little…she is trying to fight them and shakes it off, turning back towards our very sticky little lady. I don't want to rehash the past, but I need to let her know that I understand what she means…that I missed her too…every second of every day. So I still her hands at they wipe the syrup of Sophia's face, forcing her to stop and look at me. "We will never, ever have to miss each other like that ever again. Ok?"

"Ok." Callie says with a smile. "Now can I please get back to this disaster we call our daughter?"

I nod, then grab the box of baby wipes and help Callie tackle Sophia. I think it would have been quicker and easier if we gave her a bath. About an hour later, we are all dressed and ready to head to Oceanside Wellness to meet Addison. Callie holds the door for me so I can push in the stroller, and I suddenly feel very anxious when we reach the main lobby.

"Wait," I say, barely loud enough to be heard. "Just…wait."

Turning around to see where I am, Callie says, "What? What's wrong? Did you forget the list of questions?"

"No, got em…right here in the diaper bag," I tell her, swallowing the giant lump in my throat.

"Ok…what then? Come on Arizona, we're gonna be late if we don't get in the elevator and…"

"I'm nervous," I yell, tears beginning to surface. "Please Cal…I just, I need a minute."

"Oh…" she whispers, noticing how anxious I must seem. "I'm sorry…I didn't realize. We've both been so excited over all of this…I just didn't think…"

"It's ok," I say as she pulls me in for a hug. "It's silly, really. We're not even pregnant yet and I'm getting all worked up. Just ignore me…"

"It's not silly," Callie says before I can continue. "Look at who you're talking to…I camped out on an exam table at the OB all day, in a hospital gown, because I was so nervous."

"Oh God…you're right," I say. "This is only going to get worse once I have a baby growing inside of me. I…I don't think I can do this."

"Arizona…" Callie whispers, kissing the top of my head. "It's going to be alright. No matter what happens…we will have another baby someday, and everything will be alright."

"How can you say that with such confidence?" I ask her, knowing full well that there is no guarantee I will get pregnant and have a healthy baby.

"Because you and I are in this together," she answers, pulling back slightly to look in my eyes. "And we will get through all of it…trying, failing,

succeeding…whichever way this goes, we will be ok in the end. We are already a family…you, me, and Soph…that won't change, no matter what happens now. So, as far as I'm concerned, we will be ok. I am more than ok already…I'm in love with the two most beautiful, amazing girls on the planet."

I smile, wiping the remaining tears from my cheeks. Calliope always knows how to make me feel better. "You're right," I admit, taking her hand and walking towards the stroller in front of us. "We can do this…I want to do this."

I collect myself in the elevator, fixing my smudged makeup with a baby wipe and running my fingers through my tear-soaked hair. Callie comes up behind me to place a tender kiss on my shoulder. "I love you," she whispers as I relax into her body.

"I love you too," I say, just as the elevator doors open. We are greeted by Addison, with open arms for my wife…her dear friend whose life was not so certain the last time she saw her. Callie looks to me for approval before dropping my hand and rushing to Addison. I smile, thankful for this woman who I barely know…not just because she saved Callie's life, but because she has been a good friend to her always. Addison abruptly breaks free from the hug and barrels towards me, crouching down in front of the stroller so she can get a better look at Sophia.

"Oh my goodness," Addison cries as Sophia reaches out for her. I nod my head, giving her permission to take our peanut out and love her up. Which is exactly what Addison does…she plucks Sophia from the stroller and squeezes her gently, like she is still a tiny preemie, kissing the top of her head while obviously inhaling her sweet baby scent. "Mmmm, you smell so good Sophia," Addison comments. "Like berries and baby and…? What is that?"

"Maple syrup," Callie replies, and we all start laughing. "Let's just say someone was a little messy with Mama's French toast this morning."

"Callie….she is just perfect," Addison says as she studies every inch of our precious girl "I cannot believe she is this big…and God, she is just too beautiful. You guys are in so much trouble…"

"Yes…we are," I say, knowing that my gorgeous little girl will inevitably be much like her mother.

"Arizona," Addison calls to me after passing Sophia to Callie. "It's so nice to see you…on much better terms than last time. I'm so glad you guys came, so I can finally get to know my old pal here's wife."

"I agree," I tell her. "Although the way Callie talks about you, I feel like I already know you. And of course, the whole world knows you are an amazing doctor. We're very lucky to have you help us."

"My pleasure," she says with a smile. "Come on ladies, let's go sit down in the conference room. A good friend of mine, Naomi, is going to join us once she finishes up with her last patient. She is an infertility specialist, typically helping people who can't conceive. But since you guys are going to have to do this the non-traditional way, I thought her expertise could be quite helpful. I must admit, I don't know all that much about artificial insemination today…there are so many new and advanced methods."

"Which is good, right?" Callie asks her. "Means we should have a better chance at success?" Callie takes my hand as she asks the question, knowing my prior anxiety will return very quickly if I'm not reassured.

"Right," Addison says. "Now, we won't know how receptive Arizona's uterus will be to the sperm…or to the embryo once it's implanted, but with today's technology, there is no reason to believe you can't conceive."

"Awesome," I say, finding relief from her words. I squeeze Callie's hand, then take Sophia from her so she can be a part of this too. "You're going to be a big sister someday, Sophia," I tell our little girl. "How does that sound? Won't it be nice to have another little person to play with?" I can see my beautiful wife getting choked up as I talk to our daughter, and I know that she was right…everything will be ok.

A few hours later, we are on our way out of Oceanside. Dr. Bennett….Naomi, she went over three methods that she uses for people who either can't conceive or are in the same position as we are. Since we have no prior history of infertility, Naomi recommended we start out with the simplest, least invasive method…a syringe filled with sperm that Callie can place directly into my cervix during ovulation. Both Callie and I made it very clear that until a major problem arises, we would prefer to do the insemination at home. I really want to feel like we made this baby together.

After consulting with Naomi on the fertility part, Addison took us to lunch so she could go over all the pregnancy related stuff. Of course, we know about pregnancy, since we are both doctors and went through one pregnancy already with Sophia. But it was really great to hear all the information from a world renowned OBGYN. Addison gave us a list of the best OBs in and around Seattle to take home with us, along with a multitude of pamphlets on the different types of prenatal care and birthing practices. I feel very informed…which helps greatly to calm my nerves.

Callie asks Addison if she would like to join us for dinner tomorrow night, promising to cook her a delicious meal in exchange for all of her help. Addison agrees, saying she made sure to keep her schedule light for the week, so she can spend some time with us. We go back to our hotel and put a very tired little girl down for her nap, giving us a few hours to discuss our busy morning.

"So, how are you feeling about all of this?" Callie asks, as I walk out from the hotel bedroom. "I know we were handed a lot of information today, which is kind of overwhelming and…"

"Stop," I say, interrupting her. "It's ok…I'm ok. I know I was nervous earlier…and I will probably always be a little nervous, but I feel better after getting all the information. It was….enlightening."

"Good," Callie says, breathing a sigh of relief. "I feel the same way. There's so much about this that I didn't know. I mean, we're doctors…how did we not know this stuff?" We laugh, and I slowly make my way across the room to join Callie on the couch. I go to sit down beside her, but instead she pulls me into her lap and lays a juicy kiss on me.

"What was that for?" I ask. "Not that I'm complaining."

"It was for…nothing. I don't need a reason to kiss my wife, do I?" she asks. I stare at her with raised eyebrows until she finally says, "Ok, it wasn't for nothing. It was for this…being here, planning a family with me…even though I know you are scared to death, you're not running away."

"Hey," I say, as I wipe a lone tear from her beautiful face. "No more running…I promised you that a long time ago and I meant it. There may be times I want to run…but I will never do it, ok?"

"I know that," she whispers as she suddenly clings to me. "It's just….nice to be reminded sometimes."

"So…I guess we start with keeping track of my ovulation. That shouldn't be too hard…I just finished my period last week, so I should probably start using the ovulation test strips Naomi gave me in a few days. Once I know how many days I ovulate for, we can try starting next month…if that's not to soon."

"No," Callie answers quickly. "I mean…if you are ready, then I am. Naomi warned us that it could take up to a year of trying, so I say the sooner the better."

I can't help but smile at the overly excited look on Callie's face. She is just so happy…I love making her happy. "Great….so I guess the only other thing we need to do is pick a donor."

Callie and I have been looking at potential sperm donors for the past few months…ever since we started talking about having a second baby. We've gone to two sperm banks in Seattle, and have also looked online. Ultimately, we both felt more comfortable using a donor from the local bank, since they provided much more detailed information than the internet based companies. Now…when it comes to the kind of donor we want, our opinions seem to differ. We both want to use someone who is intelligent, with a good medical history and no criminal record…but as far as the physical traits are concerned, we can't come to an agreement. I suggested we use on of the Cuban donors, so that the baby will at least carry some of Callie's racial background. Callie, on the other hand, wants to pick someone who looks as much like my side of the family as possible.

"I just don't get it," I say, as we get into another lengthy debate on the issue. "I thought we wanted to make a baby together this time…one that represents both of us. Wouldn't it make more sense to choose a donor who resembles you? That way the baby will be a closer mix to the two of us?"

"Sure, that would make sense," she says, tricking me into thinking she is going to agree with me for a moment. "But you know that probably won't happen, right? Look at Sophia…she is half white, and yet she looks nothing like her father. Ok, maybe she has the shape of his eyes…"

"And his dimple," I interject.

"No…" Callie says, warning me not to argue with her on this one. "That dimple is yours…I don't care what anyone says. It comes out when she smiles, just like yours. Anyway…my point is that if we choose an Hispanic donor, the baby will most likely look Hispanic."

"So, what's wrong with that?" I ask. "Sophia is drop-dead gorgeous…just like her mother."

"Yes, she is," Callie says. "And that's why you are so in love with her, right? Come on Arizona….we already went over all of this. I want a baby who looks like you…so I can fall in love that way too. Please…"

"That is so not fair," I say, watching her sad face with her bottom lip sticking out. "Sophia makes that same face…I can never say no to that face."

"Is that a yes then?" she asks, continuing to pout at me. "Please, please, please…."

"Ok," I mumble under my breath. "You win. Well…I guess that narrows down the playing field quite a bit."

Noticing the small frown on my face, Callie leans in and brushes my cheek with the back of her hand. "Oh baby, if you're going to be upset about it…we can pick anyone you want, you don't have to listen to me."

"No, I get it," I say. "I understand why you would want a baby that looks just like me. It's just…I guess it just hits home that there will never really be a way to make a baby together…to have a little person who looks like both of us. It's one of the few things I dislike about being gay. Don't you just wish we could make love…and have a baby without needing some stranger or doctor's help?"

I start to cry, trying to hide the tears by looking down at the floor. But Callie won't let me cry alone…she lifts my chin with her finger, making me look at her again. "I will gladly take help from a doctor…and a stranger…and go through all of this. You know why? Because making a baby with you….no matter how we have to do it, will be the greatest joy of my life. I've made a baby the "easy" way…and I will never regret having Sophia, but I want to make a baby with the woman I love. That's the important part…we love each other and this baby will come out of that, no matter who they look like."

I let the tears fall, burying my head in Callie's chest. I know she is right…that the way she got pregnant with Sophia was far from ideal…that our baby girl was not created out of love. Of course, she has three parents who adore her…worship the ground she walks on. But Callie is right…even if it takes more time and planning, even if it's harder…the way we are going to make a baby will be so much better.

"Babe, are you alright?" she asks when I eventually stop crying and just breathe her in.

"I'm great Calliope," I tell her, looking up into those warm, chocolate eyes. "I'm so in love with you. Do you know that?"

"Pretty sure you wouldn't want to have my baby if you weren't," she answers, making light of the situation. "You saw what a miserable wench I became during my pregnancy…and that didn't even last nine months."

"Hey, just because you were miserable doesn't mean I'll be," I remind her. "Some women love being pregnant…they feel radiant instead of fat, they actually want to have more sex instead of none…"

"We had sex Arizona," Callie says. "Maybe it wasn't every night but we did do it…"

"Five times," I interject, looking her dead in the eye.

"Five times?" she questions. "Really…you kept track?"

"Um…well, yes I did," I admit. "I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, with your glow and your baby bump. And you hardly let me touch you…it made me sad. So whenever we had sex, I kept that memory burned into my brain until the next time. After a while, I realized it was only once a month. So…yeah…five times."

"Oh," Callie says sheepishly, looking a little embarrassed at our previous lack of intimacy. "I'm sorry. At the time, it didn't seem so infrequent and I just felt so…"

"Fat," I say, finishing her sentence. "Yeah, I know. And I'm not mad or anything….please, back then I was just happy you kept me around at all."

"Arizona…" Callie whines. "Please baby, I'm so sorry for the way I treated you then. I'll always be sorry for that. I was just scared you weren't going to stay…it would have killed me if I gave you my heart again and then you left."

"I know Calliope," I say, soothing her by rubbing circles across her back. "And really….it's ok. All I'm saying is that this time…since I'll be the pregnant one…I plan on us having a lot of sex."

I can see her cheeks turning red when I say this, her chest rising sharply when she inhales. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Callie manages to ask, "So you mean, you're not going to torture me and purposely withhold sex? Get me back for being such a crab about it with Sophia?"

"No way," I tell her, leaning in so close that our lips are almost touching. "The way I see it…we need to make up for last time. And you won't deny a pregnant woman sex, will you?"

"Definitely not," she breathes out, inching her luscious lips closer and closer. When I just can't take it anymore, I pull her head in and crash our lips together. She tastes so sweet…like syrup and…Callie. I take my time devouring her mouth, working my tongue around hers until the need to do more than kiss takes over. Callie lays me down on the couch, quickly unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them down past my ankles. I rip my shirt over my head and am about to unclasp my bra when she roughly rips that over my head too. My nipples harden under her touch immediately, and I have to concentrate really hard to work at undressing her too. Luckily, Callie finishes the job for me, standing up briefly to pull off her pants and shirt.

"Practice makes perfect," she whispers in my ear, while sliding two fingers gently inside of me. I moan at the feeling, arching my back as I thrust my hips up into her gorgeous body. She continues to push into me, her fingers going deeper each time. I pull her close, kneading her flesh as it presses against mine, savoring the sensation of our naked bodies melded together. Callie parts her own legs so I can fill her too…which I do as soon as I gain enough access. Not so gently, I slide my fingers deep inside of her, pushing in and out until our rhythms match. We pant as our sweat-drenched bodies glide together on this very expensive couch. I can feel her walls closing in around me, and I thrust one more time so that I can come with her. That thrust send us both over the edge, and we cling to one another as we both ride out our orgasms.

"Practice makes perfect," I breathe out, repeating Callie's mantra. "Oh…and the practice itself is so very, very perfect. If doing that…multiple times is what it takes to get pregnant….well, then we are definitely going to have ten kids."

Callie giggles, still trying to catch her breath as she supports her weight above me. Then, looking down into my eyes, she places the most adoring kiss on my lips. I could live for kisses like that…it makes me feel so complete and so very in love. After laying in one another's arms for a while, we each take a turn to shower before Sophia wakes up. As always, her timing is impeccable. Callie just got out of the shower when she wakes up. I rush into the bathroom before my wife can even get one foot out the door, letting her know our little princess is waiting.

I shower quickly, not wanting to waste a second of this vacation with my girls, and head back to the living room. Sophia is chasing shadows on the floor….Callie, of course, is video taping the event.

"Come on Sophia…do it again," I hear Callie say as I approach the scene. "You've got to practice so you can teach your little brother or sister how to catch the shadows someday."

Hearing those words just melts me…I look at my perfect family and honestly can't imagine it getting any better. But it will…I will have a tiny human inside of me someday who will bring us all so much love and joy. I feel my eyes well up for what seems like the millionth time today. But I am not alone…I can see the tears in Callie's eyes too as her words sink in.

"We're going to make a baby, Calliope," I whisper as I remove the camera from her hand and wrap my arms around her. We sit and watch Sophia chasing shadows, her beautiful laughter filling the air, as we dream of another little miracle…hopefully coming into our lives very soon.

Chapter 7

Callie's POV:

We have been in LA for almost one week now…tonight is our last night before we pack up and fly back to Seattle in the morning. Of course we came here to discuss our family planning, but this past week has ended up being a fantastic vacation. I have been able to spend some quality time with Addison, one of the best friends a girl could ask for. And for the first time, Addison has been able to really get to know the amazing and beautiful woman I am lucky enough to call my wife. The two of them have had quite a great time, swapping embarrassing stories about me and discussing their toughest medical cases. Addison pulled me aside one night just to tell me how much she loves Arizona, filling me with a sense of pride I've never felt before when it comes to a lover. Then again…Arizona is, and always has been, much more than a lover to me. She is my soul mate, my reason for believing and hoping and dreaming, the one true love of my life…and tonight I will have her all to myself for the first time in months.

When Addison offered to sit with Sophia tonight, so Arizona and I could share a romantic evening, I was happy as a clam to comply. Addie loves children and has always wanted a baby of her own…you can see how much she wants to have Sophia all to herself for a night. Plus, Sophia has been glued to her this entire trip…who wouldn't be when Addison has been spoiling her rotten in every possible way. Of course, I didn't think twice when Addison suggested babysitting, pulling out my blackberry to check out the most romantic places for a date with my wife. But Arizona is hesitant…says maybe we should just all hang out for the last night, not leave Sophia while we're away from home.

"It's just not necessary," she tells me, clearly not as excited about the prospect of some alone time.

"I know it's not necessary," I say, getting more defensive every second. "I thought it was actually something you might want to do…you know, have a night out with your wife…alone."

"Calliope…" she calls, pursing her lips as usual when she thinks I am overreacting.

"Don't you Calliope me," I say, raising my voice a bit. "I swear, sometimes you are the most confusing human being in the world. You spend an entire week talking about making babies with me, screwing my brains out every chance you get…then we actually get the opportunity to spend an entire evening alone, and you want to turn it down. Seriously?"

"Calliope," she starts again. "It's not like I don't want the time alone with you….of course I do. But we can be alone when Sophia goes to bed and Addison leaves for the night. Don't you think we should spend our last night with Addie, after all she's done for us?"

Her puppy dog eyes plead with me to understand….to agree with the stupid notion that we should be good, hospitable friends instead of a selfish married couple…but I am not buying it.

"Nope, " I say in answer to her question. "I do not think we should spend the night here….and neither does Addison. That's why she offered to babysit. I guess you are the only one who doesn't realize we need time to ourselves. Wait a minute…didn't you just say how we should make up with Mark so that we had some time alone before the new baby? Yes, yes you did…"

"Yes, I did but…"

"But what? You don't trust Addison with Sophia?" I ask, offended already at the idea.

"No, it's not that. I really like Addie and she's been great with Sophia. The woman brought our child into this world for God's sake, of course I trust her. Any other time, I would consider it but…" Arizona says as she drags out her suitcase.

"But, what?" I ask, clearly missing something. "Why don't you want to go out with me tonight? Did I do something in the past two hours?"

"No Callie," she says, her voice softening a bit. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable leaving the baby while we're on foreign soil." The way she says that is strange…kind of robotic. And she is staring out into space, almost like she's not even really here with me.

"Foreign soil?" I ask, causing her to snap out of her daze. She catches me rolling my eyes at her strange terminology, and winces like she is in pain. "We are not even halfway across the country Arizona," I say as calmly as possible. "I would certainly not consider California foreign soil."

"You know what I mean," she insists, looking anywhere but at me. I can feel the anger coursing through my veins, as it always does when this woman infuriates me. I don't know if I am more angry that she doesn't want to go out with me later, or that she seems to be blatantly making ridiculous excuses.

"No, actually…I don't know what you mean. We are in a five star hotel in the high end of Los Angeles…I'm pretty sure Sophia will be safe here with Addie. And it's not like we'll be leaving her to travel someplace far away…all of the restaurants I've been looking at are within five miles of the hotel."

Arizona just keeps staring out the window, unwilling to face me or even consider leaving this hotel room. I don't know what else I can say to get through to her…so I lash out, pull out the most hurtful thing I can say. "It's not like we'll be leaving her to fly across the world, Arizona. It's not like we're going to Malawi….ditching her in an airport like she's a piece of baggage."

"Wow…you really went there," she says, finally looking into my eyes with daggers. "I thought we weren't going to do that anymore…throw shit in each other's face, bring up the past. Guess the next time you piss me off I can call you a bitch for sleeping with Mark after I was only gone for a few weeks. But wait….that will still be my fault, right? Because I ditched you in an airport…"

I feel my heart sink in my chest, the severity of our words hitting me hard. I know I shouldn't have said what I did…neither should she, but this is how we fight…or how we used to fight, before the accident and wedding and all the promises to do better. The problem is…we haven't fought in so long, I don't think either one of us was prepared for it…and people tend to revert to their old ways. As they say, old habits die hard.

"You know what?" I say, grabbing my jacket as I head towards the door. "Before we say or do anything else we'll regret later…I am going to leave. You should be fine…perfectly fine, here with Sophia tonight. I'm gonna go grab a few drinks, maybe some dinner…clear my head. We'll talk later…if you're here."

"Of course I'll be here," she says, her voice cracking.

I take a deep breath and nod. "I meant if you're here in the living room…if you're still up."

I walk over to Sophia and plant a kiss on her pretty little head, telling her that her mama will be back later. Then I give my wife a kiss too…not our usual I love you so much or you just rocked my world kind of kiss, but a kiss that says I will always come back.

A part of me wants to just turn back around and apologize, tell the woman I love with all my heart that we can stay in and do whatever she wants. But that won't really solve anything…so I walk down the street with my head hung low, still trying to figure out why Arizona was so dead set against going out tonight. I pass a bar and stop for a minute on the sidewalk, contemplating whether drinking is really a good idea right now. Against my better judgment, I go in. I saunter up to the bar and order myself a shot of tequila and a beer. The burn from the alcohol is soon replaced with a feeling of numbness….the more shots I have, the better I start to feel. I'm not angry anymore…I'm just sad and disappointed, so I continue to drown my sorrows.

A couple hours go by and I am more than a little buzzed. Realizing I haven't eaten in almost eight hours, I decide to order a slice of pizza, and sit down to eat at the bar. Halfway through my pizza, a man approaches the bar and takes the seat next to me. He is slightly older, maybe in his late forties… he looks a little sleazy, and is obviously well on his way to being drunk.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asks, ordering himself a glass of Jack Daniels on the rocks.

I shake my head no, gesturing towards the full bottle of beer next to my plate. I finish my dinner as the man drinks his Jack, continuing to look down at my plate in hopes that he won't try and strike up a conversation. I certainly did not come here to spend the night chatting it up with some guy. After a while of him staring and me pretending I don't notice, I look up and smile halfheartedly. He slides the bar stool closer and extends his hand, introducing himself as Paul.

"Hi Paul," I say as I shake his hand.

"Are you sure I can't buy you a drink?" he asks, leaning in a little too close. "A pretty lady like you shouldn't have to drink alone."

What a stupid line…were men always like this? And God, did I actually used to buy into this crap? Before he can go any further, I turn my stool to face him.

"First of all…Paul, I am choosing to drink alone. So I would actually prefer it if you just let me be alone, Ok? Second…I am a married woman," I say, holding up my hand and pointing to my wedding band.

"Ah, I see," he says, looking only a bit embarrassed. "Guess you're not the cheating type then?" he asks, clearly still attempting to get somewhere with me.

I think about the bitter words spoken by my wife earlier….the venom she spewed about me sleeping with Mark. Suddenly, I feel like a cheater…even though I did nothing wrong, now or then. Ok, well maybe then I did something wrong…something very, very stupid. But I didn't cheat on Arizona…I would never cheat on her. I love her.

I am brought out of my thoughts when Paul runs a hand down the length of my arm. Apparently, my lack of an answer has caused him to think that I am actually contemplating sleeping with him. I pull my arm back, disgusted by the feeling of his hand on me, and narrow my eyes at him.

"Listen…I am not going to sleep with you. No matter what you say, no matter how many drinks I've had…it's not going to happen," I tell him. I get up and grab my purse, moving myself to the opposite end of the bar. Paul continues to stare at me from his spot…he's starting to creep me out a bit. I throw back the last shot I ordered and pound my beer, anxious to pay my bill and leave. I call over the bartender and slide him my credit card. While I wait for him to ring me out, I hear a buzzing sound. It's my cell phone…. hopefully it's Arizona calling to tell me to come back to her. I rummage through my purse to get the phone, quickly answering it before I miss the call.

"Baby," I say into my blackberry, noticing that weirdo Paul still watching me.

"Never thought I'd hear you call me that," is the response on the other end, followed by hearty laughter.

"Daniel…" I say, looking at the number and realizing it's my father-in-law. "I'm sorry…I thought maybe you were Arizona calling. Is everything ok?"

"Yes," he responds. "Well…I think so. I was hoping my daughter was with you so I could speak to her. We've been trying to get a hold of her for the past couple of hours, but her cell phone keeps going right to voicemail."

Suddenly, I am nervous…why wouldn't she be answering her phone? Then it dawns one me…maybe she still doesn't want to talk to me. I breathe a heavy sigh of sadness, remembering how angry she was with me when I left.

"We had an argument," I tell Daniel. "I left to get some air…and some dinks." Luckily, I feel comfortable enough with him to admit that…he is just like me, and his daughter, who tend to use alcohol to get through tough times.

"I see…" he says, remaining silent for a moment afterwards. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised. My Arizona has a knack for pushing people away when things bother her, especially when it comes to her brother."

"Wait…" I say to him, taking in his words. "Today's not Tim's birthday…his birthday is October 15th…we always get a cake and talk about him while we eat it. And the day he died….well, I could never forget that day. Every year I try my hardest to make her happy on that day…even though I know at some point she will break down in my arms and want me just to hold her until she falls asleep."

"I'm glad she has you to take care of her Callie," Daniel whispers, obviously affected by what I just revealed to him. "She has come such a long way since she met you…before, she would keep herself locked up tight and never let anyone see her hurting that way."

"Well, I'm glad she lets me in…at least, most of the time," I say, still quite confused about this phone call. "If you don't mind Daniel…I'm still a bit unsure of why you think she's upset today. Maybe you could fill me in."

"Ah yes," he says. "I suppose I can't leave you hanging now, can I? Today is the day we dropped Timothy off at the airport to head out for his second tour."

Waving the bartender over with cash in hand, I order another beer while I listen to my father-in-law reveal the reason for my wife's crazy behavior today.

"Ok…" I say, still confused. "I know she was always really nervous whenever he had to go, but…"

"It was the last time we saw him, Callie," Daniel says unexpectedly. "We all went to the airport and waited with him until his plane arrived. Arizona was so worried…we all were. She wanted me to promise her he would be alright…but I couldn't. So I told her the truth…that I could never feel at ease when any of my children were on foreign soil."

"Foreign soil," I whisper back at him, as the events of this evening finally start to make sense.

"Yes…that was the first time she told Barbara and I she didn't want to have children," Daniel confesses. "She said she would never want to worry about anyone the way her mother and I had to worry about Tim. Luckily, you changed all that…and Sophia of course."

I am stunned into silence at everything that was just revealed to me. My heart breaks for my wife, and I feel so horrible that I am sitting in this bar instead of in our hotel room with her. But I couldn't have known…she didn't tell me. That doesn't matter…I need to leave…to go to her.

"Daniel, I have to go now," I choke out, as tears fill my eyes. "I need to be with Arizona. I'll tell her to call you and Barbara in the morning, ok?"

"Ok my dear," he says. "Take care of my little girl."

"Always," I say before hanging up.

I throw some cash down on the bar and stand up to leave. Sitting down for so long, I had no idea just how intoxicated I've become, and when I try to walk I stumble a bit and have to steady myself on the bar stool. From across the bar, I see Paul still watching me…he probably thinks that now is his chance, since I am obviously drunk and can't even walk straight. He heads over to me and asks if I need help. I tell him no, but when I try to walk away again, I trip over his foot and almost fall flat on my face. Paul grabs my arm to try and help me up, but I push him off of me and walk away.

"Get off of me asshole," I yell at him as I turn towards the door. "No means no."

"That's right…leave my wife alone," I hear Arizona say, appearing in the doorway. Paul does a double take, then makes some comment about how if we ever want to include a male….I just ignore him. I can't focus on anything right now but the beautiful blonde across the room. I just stand there and stare at her for a moment, looking into her tear-filled eyes while my own tears stream down my face. Then she smiles at me, her amazing dimples showing, and I rush to her. Somehow…when it matters, my legs don't fail me and I make it across the room to her. Just before I reach her, she races towards me and throws herself into my arms. I kiss her once, quickly but passionately, then wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly to my body.

"Baby, I…I'm so sorry I left you tonight. I am an idiot….I should have just listened when you said you wanted to stay in with Sophia." Then it dawns on me…Sophia, where's Sophia? I must look panicked, because Arizona puts her finger to my lips before I can even ask the question.

"She's with Addison at the hotel," Arizona informs me. "I called her a couple hours ago and she said she would still love to babysit." Taking my hands in hers, she walks us out of the bar and says, "I had to find you…to tell you how sorry I am. For the things I said…for how I acted. I was just…I was…"

"Hurting," I say, causing her eyes to grow wide with surprise. "You were hurting and grieving for your brother. I talked to your dad, Arizona."

"You did?" she asks. I nod and tell her not to be mad at him, that he was just trying to help. "No, I'm not mad at him," she says, looking away from me for a second. When her eyes return to mine, she says, "I'm mad at myself….for not telling you what was going on with me today."

"Why didn't you?" I ask timidly, a little nervous the question will spark another argument.

Arizona lets out a deep breath, then begins one of her famous rambles. "I didn't tell you because….well, because I was afraid. I didn't want to ruin our trip….we were so happy, planning our perfect family. And after yesterday, when you said you were glad I wasn't running…I though that if I told you about Tim leaving and how that was the day I decided I didn't want kids, then you would really doubt me. And I don't want you to doubt me…I love you and Sophia so much, and I really want to have another baby with you."

"I don't doubt you Arizona," I whisper into her hair as I pull her in for a hug. "I was really just trying to tell you how proud I was of you…for facing your fears and following through with everything, even though you had some reservations. I know you want a family with me…we are already a family. And I know you will never leave me again…I know that. And if you would have told me, it would have actually made sense why you didn't want to leave Sophia. She's your daughter…and you were afraid to leave her somewhere unfamiliar because today is the day you left your brother at the airport."

"Yeah, airports are not my thing," Arizona says, pulling back to look at me. Neither one of us can refrain from laughing at her comment, and I am relieved that we can still find the humor in things despite the seriousness of our conversation.

Her giggles subsiding, Arizona continues where we left off. "I really am sorry Calliope," she says, grabbing my hand again. "It only took a few minutes of you being gone to realize what a huge mistake I made. If I had just been honest with you, we never would have gotten into such a terrible argument. As soon as I tracked Addison down, I headed out to look for you, so I could apologize. I promise I won't keep anything like that from you ever again."

"It's ok," I tell her, cupping her cheek. "I just want to be with you when you're hurting…to be the one to wipe your tears away. And I'm really sorry too…for what I said and how I just left like that. I tell you not to walk away…then I do it. I just didn't want either one of us to hurt each other anymore, and I honestly thought you didn't want to spend the time alone with me." I look away from her when I say this last part, a little ashamed at feeling that way.

"Calliope…" Arizona whispers as she pulls me in for a quick kiss. "Please, don't ever think that. I'd be a damn fool not to spend a romantic night out with the most beautiful woman in the world."

I smile and hold her in my arms, kissing her tenderly anywhere my lips can reach. "I am so in love with you, Arizona Robbins."

"And I am so in love with you, Calliope Torres," she whispers before pressing her lips to mine again. After we break the kiss, she says, "Apparently, so is that guy. What was up with him?"

"Ughhh…Paul," I say, my voice laced with disgust. "He was hitting on me for a while, tried to buy me a drink. I told him I was married and went to sit at the other end of the bar. Guess when he saw me stumbling he thought he could take advantage of a dumb, drunk woman."

"Boy, he doesn't know who he's messing with, huh? I think if you weren't so tipsy you might have actually knocked him over with that shove you gave him. If I didn't want to get to you so badly, I probably would have knocked him out myself," Arizona says with a devious smile. "How much have you had to drink, by the way?"

"Too much," I confess. "Didn't seem like enough before…all I wanted was to stop thinking about you. You think I would have learned by now that no amount of alcohol will ever let that happen."

We gaze at one another lovingly, both relieved that this crazy night is over and all has been resolved between us. I lace my fingers through Arizona's and we begin a very slow walk back to the hotel.

"I'm sorry you were sad about Tim today," I say softly. "I'm always sorry when you're sad…it just makes me feel a little better to be sad with you."

"I know babe, and I really appreciate that. You have no idea how much it means to me to have your shoulder to cry on…or your ear to listen when I want to talk about him. I should have told you about this day a long time ago."

"Then why didn't you?" I ask, rubbing her hand with my thumb as we walk.

"I don't know," she answers truthfully. "At first, I didn't want to talk about Timothy at all…you know. And then once I told you about him dying and when his birthday was…you were so supportive and caring."

"Did you not want me to be?" I ask, confused again.

"No…I guess I just thought it might get to be a little too much. I mean, how many days can I claim as "grief" days…we need to focus on the future, not relive the past all the time."

"You can have as many days as you want to miss your brother, hun," I say sincerely. "And you can talk about him and remember him as often as you'd like. I want to know about him too…want to teach our children all about their brave Uncle Tim, who fought so hard so that we could have a free and peaceful life."

There are tears in m beautiful wife's eyes again…this time though, I really think they are happy ones. She looks up to the sky and mouths thank you…to God or her brother, I'm not quite sure. But I am pretty sure she was thanking them for me, as I see her glance from the heavens straight into my eyes. I am filled with an overwhelming sense of love for this woman, and I want to take her back to our hotel room and make love to her all night…to show her that I too, am eternally grateful for what we have.

Addison is reluctant to say goodbye to us and her little buddy sleeping soundly in the port-a-crib, but she must sense that we need the time alone. Hugging us both tightly one last time, she promises to come visit Seattle soon as she shuts the door behind her. Arizona and I immediately go to where our little angel is sleeping, looking down at her together as we cling to one another.

"I love her Calliope," Arizona whispers as she places a feather-light kiss on Sophia's little nose. "I love her more than I ever imagined loving a child…and I know I will love our new baby just as much. My brother would be so proud to see me as a mother."

"You are the best mother I know," I tell her as I wipe a tear from her face. "And she loves you too…which makes the worrying and all the scary parts worth it."

"Yes it does," she agrees with me, turning in my arms to face me. "I'm so glad you're here with me now," she says before pulling me in for a long, passionate kiss.

"So am I…believe me, there is no place in the world I'd rather be."

Those are the last words spoken this evening. Everything else that needs to be said is spoken through a kiss…a touch…a union of our bodies and our souls. We make love, slow and sweet, taking our time to let all of the emotions of this crazy day fill our night with pleasure. When we've given all we have to one another, exhausting ourselves in every possible way, I pull my wife into my arms and just hold her…she kisses her spot right over my heart, and I kiss her gorgeous dimples when she smiles up at me. This woman is a part of me…all of her, including her past and her grief. And I will gladly take it…because I am the one who gets to share her future…to live in her present, every day for the rest of my life. Oh, and what a life we are going to have…