A/N: I edited and added some stuff to this chapter so please let me know if it still needs editing some more. I have dyslexia so grammar and spelling is a problem for me. Let me know what I need to improve on so I can get better over time. I only been here about a month so anything is helpful. Enjoy!

Also, on my profile page, I have a poll about which pairing the reader might want for the story Darkness. Please vote and state which one you would like to see by the end of the story. I will have this going on for about a few weeks. Plus, it is a blind poll so state your honest opinion. I will let everyone when it's done.

Edited:10/19/2012

Chapter Warnings: Rape, mental torture. It is M-rated for a reason. If you do not like it do not read. You been warned.

~K.M.

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.

Chapter 1

In the hotel room, I my eyes closed as I yell at the top of my lungs. The pain intensifies from the sexual abuse that Hattori is giving me. Tears fall from my eyes as I know I am as worthless as street trash that everyone wants to destroy or abuse to make their own life better. I hear him laugh at me, but I feel only hollow for the emptiness he leaves in me after Hattori finishes his act of domination.

Hattori bites my body in different places and lambasted me to show that I am peerless child. I wail as he slams my head against the head-board of the bed we are on. According to Hattori, children know nothing about the real world, and Hattori has shown me just that by fucking me senseless every time he gets.

It started back when Hattori Heiji started looking for Kudou Shinichi to see who the better detective is. He hunted me down to the Mouris because of the phone calls to Ran and me disappearing without leaving a note behind. The only times people heard me was when 'Conan' needed me for a case or the police could not solve a piece of the puzzle without help.

At first, Hattori seemed okay, but he has that competitive spirit going on for him which brought him down each time. Hattori lost our first battle when I showed up as Shinichi due to the alcohol he brought from Osaka. Then he lost our second battle at the Sherlock Holmes case since I used him as a puppet so I could solve the case.

After the second meeting, he found the truth about Kudou Shinichi, but he had that malignity in his eyes as his face said friendly and competitive to my fellow detective. I mistook that as him not liking Sherlock Holmes or he wanted to start-up another friendly game between us. It appears I was mistaken to think that way earlier.

We went on a few cases together after two months of knowing each other, but I always upped him one way or another. I would get the parts that he could not get easily. I also corrected him when he had the wrong criminal sometimes. I even did it in his hometown of Osaka one time, but that is when the nightmare truly transpired.

Hattori kept murmuring something to himself as we walked along the streets of Osaka. He suddenly stopped, looked down on me, and said in an unrestrained voice, "I am not your shadow, Kudou Shinichi."

I gaze at him with confusion on my face, but it only made him irritated. Without warning, he kicked me on my left-side, and hoisted me up by my shirt collar as he made me look directly into his eyes with a fearful, shocked expression as I trembled like a leaf.

He sneered scornfully as he said, "I will show you, Kudou Shinichi, that as long as you are Edogawa Conan, you will always be in my shadow." He chuckled with satisfaction as I realized what he meant by that.

When I am Kudou Shinichi, he is always second best because he is not as good as me in piecing together the clues. Now, I will always be a zero since I am nothing more than a kid that needs to use a puppet to solve cases instead of myself. In summary, I am worthless to everyone and he will prove that to me with clear evidence that I cannot go up against. I swallow thickly as he manhandled me to a different place instead of going to his house for the sleepover like planned.

Later that night, he really did prove that I am worthless. Hattori raped and defiled me until he was sure that I got the message into my dense brain. My lower half of me was sore and I had bruises on over my body. My clothes covered some of the floor in the room as his sperm leaked from my anus. He literally rubbed my face in the mess we made. Hattori covered me in cum and sweat to make sure that I understood who the real master was. He did not go tranquil or comfort, but I never looked at everyone the same way ever again. Foreboding made sure of that.

Everyone probably knows I am worthless. My curiosity has killed me and becoming Edogawa Conan is nothing more than a continuous nightmare. Everyone hates me as a useless brat who is dependent on everyone instead of himself. Maybe they want to abuse me until they have me in my place like Hattori did.

As Edogawa Conan, I am fatal as Hattori Heiji is life-giving. Kudou Shinichi is nothing more than a legend that will stay one until they forget. Shinichi is the Shinigami of Beika as Hattori is the savior against death.

Presently, Hattori and I are at a cheap hotel, which is a few miles from the Mouri Detective Agency, but it was close enough to the train station that he will not miss his train. The front story is that we went to go for a walk and talk for a while until he leaves. Although, the truth is that he wanted to rub it in my face that he is number one and I am his shadow since he 'solved' the case we were working on earlier.

We are in a room that has thick walls that were sound proof. I guess he at least has some dignity if he does not want others to know about the things he done to me. Plus, he probably wants only him to hear me cry out in pain when I scream. I think Hattori made sure of that fact before he checked us in for a while. There is no pleasure for what he does to me he will do whatever he wants until he knows I am a no-body who screwed up severely in life.

I scream even louder as Hattori goes deeper into me. My small hands turn into tight fists that grab the sheets as my body feels like it is on fire every time his thrusts into my small hole. My tears fall like a waterfall as he uses his nails to draw blood on my chest, sides, and back. The pain is too much as he continues to pound into me like an animal in heat. I whimper and groan which makes Hattori grin like a mad man as his eyes glimmer with the pure hatred of the devil.

I hear him laugh as he goes even harder and faster. I try to scream even louder, but he places a dirty sock into my mouth to muffle the screams of pure torture. The feeling of defeat and emptiness increases as I feel his breath on my ear. I groan from the biting and pulling to my ear as he whispers snugly, "You are a worthless, little detective since you became Edogawa Conan. Everyone hates you for existing because you took their precious Kudou Shinichi from them. I wonder what neechan would do if she found out that you were by her side all this time and never told her. She would kill you and beat the crap out of you since you took the love of her life from her."

I continue to cry even more since the words are true. Ran misses Kudou Shinichi, but she does not seem to care for Edogawa Conan anymore. She is always on dates or hanging out with her friends instead of being at home with her 'little brother.' Maybe Ran wants Conan out of her life forever. It would probably bring her back to life if Conan disappears for the rest of her life. I broke her heart and now I must pay for it.

Hattori snickers at my reaction since it is the one he probably wanted. He thrust into me some more until I feel him empty his sperms inside of me after the many times he did it before. Tears still run down my face as he gets out of me and off the bed. He looks at the worthless detective that is Shinichi no more. Hattori cleans himself and gets dress as he laughs cruelly at the hollow shell of Edogawa Conan and Kudou Shinichi.

I become a ball as best I could, but I could not completely due to the pain and soreness from Hattori's rough play. I get the sock out of my mouth slowly as my arms feel heavy. I sob quietly as I hear him head to the door satisfied that I am in my place like some pile of garbage. Maybe I should disappear out of everyone's life since they think I am a worthless piece of junk. I am no treasure that they would want to keep around anyway.

I hear the door open and Hattori leaving as he reply, "You are nothing more than a little brat who knows nothing about the truth. I see the way people look at you, Kudou. They lie to your face, but all you see is the fake masks that they put up for you. Maybe you should stop playing detective since they do not think you are worth their time anymore." Hattori exits the door as a faint click of the lock is heard.

He is right. The police only see a kid who should stay out-of-the-way of the law enforcement. Mouri Kogoro has hit him on the head too many times to prove that I am nothing in the older detective's eyes. Ran has moved on with her life and forgot about Kudou Shinichi and Edogawa Conan. The kids think I am a know-it-all that should keep his mouth shut. Even Haibara ignores me ever since she gave me the true cure a few weeks back. Basically, I am an insignificant object to everyone.

Ever since the Black Organization went down, they waited for Kudou Shinichi to appear out of nowhere. Everyone knew that Shinichi was somehow behind the takedown of the Black Organization, but he never did return after everything started slowing down. Ran stopped calling after I said that I could not come house for the moment due to small problem I had during the case. It was the same excuse before the takedown and Haibara was not close the cure at that point.

I could not help it if Haibara did not find a cure before the takedown. She was working on it as fast as she could, but it takes time to create a perfect cure for that poison Gin gave me in Tropical Land. When the cure was finally complete, Ran started to move on to other guys that she met in my absence. She stopped caring about me and Shinichi like we were nothing but a burden to her. I guess that she gave up on our future for her own happiness which makes me happy and sad at the same time.

I stopped solving cases as the 'Sleeping Kogoro' since he can put the right criminals behind bars without my help. He is a famous detective as I do what normal seven-year-old kids do which is playing with friends, go to school, and stay out-of-the-way of everyone. It seems that he learned a few things from me, but I am no longer needed by him.

For the police force, they learned to look at the entire picture and stop relying on help from other people unless it was necessary. They do not even ask for my help at all. The only thing I am useful for is saying hello or being used as bait for something they need. This also proves that I am worthless in their eyes and I no longer can hold the title 'the savior of the police force' anymore.

Nakamori-Keibu, the task force, and Hakuba do not even need me anymore. They can get out of traps, get on the same level as KID, and almost catch him on every heist now. I just watch with the crowd or see it on television since I get in the way or their master plans for the thief. I no longer hold the title of 'the closest to catching KID' since Hakuba now has the title of 'the KID hunter.' They literally made sure that I could never go chase KID ever again due to the ban on me since KID used me against them one time.

For KID, I do not know. He tries to send notes to me, but Ran and Mouri-Tantei prevents that. I never know what they say since they are given to the task force moments later. KID is probably saying the same thing since he never takes life seriously. So, I guess it is a good thing I never see the notes from KID after all.

Thinking over these thoughts, I do see truth in what Hattori says. I am nothing more than a shadow and a worthless brat who gets in everyone's way. I will never be number one or be needed by anyone in the future. I will become a no-body that exists for nothing, but gets punished for being pathetic. Maybe I should disappear from their lives forever. They would probably be happy that I moved on to being a ghost instead of a something that takes up too much air. I close my eyes as my tears become dry. I know I should disappear off the face of the planet so they can live in a world of peace and happiness

A phone rings has I try to untangle myself from my cocoon. I slowly roll off the bed wincing with each movement. I get on the floor and crawl toward my shorts that held my 'Shinichi' phone and my 'Conan' phone. I get them both out to see which one was ringing.

I answer my Conan phone since Ran was probably calling me to see where I was now. I could not tell her the truth, but lying always became my friend when I needed it. "Hello?" I answered in a steady voice. My body was telling me not to move or speak, but I had to play it like there was nothing wrong. I did not want to break her happy little world too much with my worthless one.

"Conan-kun? I was calling to see if Hattori got on the train and if you were on your way home yet?" Ran replied in her sisterly voice.

Conan hesitated to answer, but stated in his Conan voice, "Yes, Ran-neechan! Hattori just got on the train a few seconds ago and I was just exiting the train station to come home."

Ran let out a sigh as she said, "Good. Just come home so you can eat your dinner and go to bed for that Ekoda case my dad has starting in the afternoon."

I stated an okay and hang up the phone. I know she fakes her happiness for me, but I can still hear the pain that she wants Shinichi and not Conan. Maybe I should fake my death as Edogawa Conan and disappear from their lives as Kudou Shinichi. I chose to stay as Conan due to Ran not loving Kudou Shinichi anymore and he was no longer needed by anyone.

Shinichi is nothing more than a worthless detective that lost himself in the pits of darkness. The Black Organization was the first to show me that, and then Hattori revealed the truth that Shinichi was nothing to anyone. I chose to stay as Conan because I thought that it was the right choice, but it seems it was not the right choice.

Tomorrow, I will take that pill with me to Ekoda and disappear from them since they believe that Shinichi does not want to some back to them. Hopefully, that pill will be the answer to all my problems. Maybe it will kill me for once instead of saving me. I can only hope for death since I bathe in it too much.

I clean up myself by taking a quick shower, fixing my wounds, and putting my clothes back on carefully. My body did not want to move, but there were appearances to keep up after all. I took out some painkillers from my side pocket and took them without water. I was use to taking painkillers since Hattori started raping me. I check to make sure that everything was in place as I make sure that my clothes are presentable and there is no pain being shown.

I walk out of the Hotel as I finish planning my death as Edogawa Conan and disappearing as Kudou Shinichi. I know this is the right choice since I am nothing, but a person polluting their world of hope by existing like this.