It all ends today
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story or the movie Moulin Rouge. (I do want to meet Ewan McGregor, though)
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Steph and Kim; my loyal readers, critics and friends.
"You're dying, Satine." Those words hit me like ice, chilling my body and spirit, cutting me to the core. AS if to emphasize the point, the cold grip of my illness introduced itself and I began coughing. I managed to spit out a fleeting question, anything to prove that Harold had been lying. "Another trick Harold?"
"No, love the doctor told us." Marie nodded in agreement. He hadn't been. My world crashed in on me, bringing with it the little hopes and dreams that I had been allowed in this dark place. Blackness threatened my vision as I became even more lightheaded, the only words my shocked brain could produce, echoing on my lips.
"I'm dying." I fell into a chair and stayed there for what seemed like hours. My scarred and shattered soul sang out into the darkness. "I was a fool to believe. Yes a fool to believe. It all ends today, yes it all ends today." And truly it would. Everything I had come to know dear. Christian, actual true love, freedom; all would be given up to the Duke for fame and fortune. I had no choice.
Mechanically, numbly, I got up out of my chair and stepped over to the closet. I had to tell him. Harold was right, there was no other way. I would tell him I didn't love him. Betray myself and my heart to save him. He just wouldn't understand what I was doing until it was too late.
I had no other choice. The cards were stacked against me. I closed my eyes and invited the darkness in, relishing in the peace it provided.
As I opened my eyes, my attention was brought to a single ring out of many on my dresser. Much more modest than the others, it stood out like a sore thumb. A small, delicate, gold band with a single tiny emerald embedded in it. My mother's wedding ring. My father gave it to me after she passed away; it had taken him a year and a half's wages to pay for it. Father always said that the emerald made him think of my mothers eyes. Mabie that's why he gave me the ring, too many memories to haunt him. But even with the pain it created, that ring was his favorite possession. He told me that although he never had enough money for himself, he managed to save up for it; even when time wasn't on his side and the cards were stacked against him. I asked how he triumphed even though 'the cards weren't in his favor'. He told me, " When the deck is stacked against me, I just play a different game."
That was exactly it. I'd just play a different game. I would go to Christian, and tell him. Deceive him, break his heart. But I wouldn't sleep with the Duke; I wouldn't die feebly and weakly. I would die pure in Christian's eyes, unmarred by the man he despised and he would recover and go on with his life. I would not be the Duke's whore.
"It all ends today, yes, it all ends today." I sang again, a new resolution resonating in my soul. I walked slowly over to the other end of my small room and looked through my wardrobe until I found the perfect thing. A dress befitting a grieving widow. And, truly, I was grieving. Grieving for the loss of my very heart and soul.
But I would do it anyway. That's what Harold taught me, to do things against my morals and conscience. If I hadn't learned how to smother that little voice in the back of my mind, I wouldn't have gotten half as far in this underworld as I am today, if I survived at all.
I would do it. I would be the great actress. I would save both of us. I looked in to my mirror and pinned a hat on with a black pearl pin. As I pulled the raven netting of the hat over my face and blood-red lips, I sang out to the rising sun.
"Inside my heart is breaking, my make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on." The show must go on; and indeed, it would.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story or the movie Moulin Rouge. (I do want to meet Ewan McGregor, though)
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Steph and Kim; my loyal readers, critics and friends.
"You're dying, Satine." Those words hit me like ice, chilling my body and spirit, cutting me to the core. AS if to emphasize the point, the cold grip of my illness introduced itself and I began coughing. I managed to spit out a fleeting question, anything to prove that Harold had been lying. "Another trick Harold?"
"No, love the doctor told us." Marie nodded in agreement. He hadn't been. My world crashed in on me, bringing with it the little hopes and dreams that I had been allowed in this dark place. Blackness threatened my vision as I became even more lightheaded, the only words my shocked brain could produce, echoing on my lips.
"I'm dying." I fell into a chair and stayed there for what seemed like hours. My scarred and shattered soul sang out into the darkness. "I was a fool to believe. Yes a fool to believe. It all ends today, yes it all ends today." And truly it would. Everything I had come to know dear. Christian, actual true love, freedom; all would be given up to the Duke for fame and fortune. I had no choice.
Mechanically, numbly, I got up out of my chair and stepped over to the closet. I had to tell him. Harold was right, there was no other way. I would tell him I didn't love him. Betray myself and my heart to save him. He just wouldn't understand what I was doing until it was too late.
I had no other choice. The cards were stacked against me. I closed my eyes and invited the darkness in, relishing in the peace it provided.
As I opened my eyes, my attention was brought to a single ring out of many on my dresser. Much more modest than the others, it stood out like a sore thumb. A small, delicate, gold band with a single tiny emerald embedded in it. My mother's wedding ring. My father gave it to me after she passed away; it had taken him a year and a half's wages to pay for it. Father always said that the emerald made him think of my mothers eyes. Mabie that's why he gave me the ring, too many memories to haunt him. But even with the pain it created, that ring was his favorite possession. He told me that although he never had enough money for himself, he managed to save up for it; even when time wasn't on his side and the cards were stacked against him. I asked how he triumphed even though 'the cards weren't in his favor'. He told me, " When the deck is stacked against me, I just play a different game."
That was exactly it. I'd just play a different game. I would go to Christian, and tell him. Deceive him, break his heart. But I wouldn't sleep with the Duke; I wouldn't die feebly and weakly. I would die pure in Christian's eyes, unmarred by the man he despised and he would recover and go on with his life. I would not be the Duke's whore.
"It all ends today, yes, it all ends today." I sang again, a new resolution resonating in my soul. I walked slowly over to the other end of my small room and looked through my wardrobe until I found the perfect thing. A dress befitting a grieving widow. And, truly, I was grieving. Grieving for the loss of my very heart and soul.
But I would do it anyway. That's what Harold taught me, to do things against my morals and conscience. If I hadn't learned how to smother that little voice in the back of my mind, I wouldn't have gotten half as far in this underworld as I am today, if I survived at all.
I would do it. I would be the great actress. I would save both of us. I looked in to my mirror and pinned a hat on with a black pearl pin. As I pulled the raven netting of the hat over my face and blood-red lips, I sang out to the rising sun.
"Inside my heart is breaking, my make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on." The show must go on; and indeed, it would.