A/N: Ahahaha… This is a filler series till I can get my other works up and such. I've been having computer problems. I promise my other works will go up eventually. I just have to get my comp fixed first!

Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise or make any money off of this… It's pure fun.

"abcde…" – general conversation

"abdce"-Speaking a foreign language (Italian, French, Spanish, etc with the exception for Parseltongue)

Abcde- Thoughts

$abdce$- Parseltongue

A Rational Child

Chapter 1: A Letter of Peculiarity

At the age of ten Harry Potter had to admit, he wasn't normal. Not a freak per say, at least not in his 'family' definition, but he was perhaps... Different? At his current age the short, skinny boy already had a firm grasp on ten languages, an understanding of the higher learning found at the university level, and an almost eidetic memory. Plus he could understand and speak to snakes.

In other words... Different. But right now was a Monday and he was working. Seated at his small desk, he'd long blackmailed his 'family' into proper treatment, he worked on his stock portfolio before glancing at the small glass and concrete paperweight and silently contemplated the manipulation he'd done to get exactly what he deserved. It had taken a series of pictures documenting his longstanding neglect and abuse all featuring his tearful figure covered in horrible clothes and bruises. He'd been four at the time. The fact that he had presented them on the night when 'Uncle' Vernon's boss was coming over to discuss the possibility of a promotion... Harry smirked at memory of his uncle's face; it had made the deal exceedingly simple. He glanced over his financial notes. He'd long convinced them to give him a stipend, which he knew they were receiving for his care, after all he was an orphan and that had to account to the government sending funding his way, and maintained it fanatically. His stocks were very important after all.

"Brat!" He heard his 'uncle' yell. "Go get the mail!" Harry frowned, then with an irritated sigh left his seat and room behind, went down the stairs, and gathered the mail. He sorted through the items quickly and efficiently, lips curling in distaste at one of the headers. Another poorly thought out investment made by the walrus who called himself his uncle. How unsurprising.

"You should pull your investment out of-" Harry started but was interrupted by the rather abrupt removal of his 'relative's' mail from his hand.

"I don't care you little freak! Just hand it over! You're leaving for the day soon anyway right?!" His 'uncle' snarled. Harry sighed but nodded. Since it was summer Harry spent the fast majority of his time between his favorite library, the post office, a small food stand, and the mall. He headed away, flipping through them till he came through one he didn't recognize. The parchment was unusual, and in his habit of just absently sorting the papers he hadn't realized the strangeness.

"Incompetent walrus," he muttered as he tapped the palm of his hand with the unexpected letter. It was different than his usual letters (he got a quarterly report on his investments of course) and glancing at it with a distinct lack of interest he felt his attention sharpen at the strange envelope. "How peculiar." It appeared to be missing a postage stamp, hand delivered then? He was also perturbed by the rather unusual way it was addressed to him.

He returned to his desk seat, a comfy number made of black leather, mahogany and silver fasteners that matched the room's cool colors and rich warm woods he had refurnished after selling some profitable stocks in the rising digital bubble. I have to sell some more shares, and shift them over to...Harry thought absently as he slit through the wax mark on the back of the envelope. Opening it he unfolded the letter and skimmed it quickly. He felt his eyebrows go up and then quickly reread it again. Glancing at the second page he sighed. Before slumping a bit out of his strict posture and running an aggravated hand over his face under his glasses.

"Really, how does one even reply via owl?"

Harry was exceedingly disgruntled as he stared at his usual teller with a look of contempt. The mail clerk, Janine, smiled weakly back. Little Harry, dressed tidily in dark gray cotton pants, a white button down, and deep blue pull over, looked rather discontented.

"I'm sorry Harry," Janine replied. "I don't understand and I think someone's playing a prank on you." The verdant green eyes narrowed irritably behind square black frames and there was a decidedly weary and pinched look around his mouth.

"I see," Harry replied tiredly. "Would you do me a favor Ms. Janine?" She smiled looking a bit relieved and nodded.

"Could I come back and talk to Mr. Frank?" She paused at the request before nodding. She flipped up her Next Teller Please sign and escorted him back. She knocked on her boss' door before opening it. She barely even noticed the strange peculiarities in the room, long used to his eccentric ways. Like the fact he had quills in his coffee cup mixed with pencils and pens, or that in one corner of the room was a strange robe like coat. Even the rampant badger in the painting on the wall behind his desk no longer fazed her.

"What is it Janine?" Frank asked as he glanced up.

"Harry has to ask you a question sir." She replied before shooing Harry in.

"Ah, well," Frank said. "You're turning eleven soon, right Harry?" The man asked studying the boy's calm demeanor.

"That's right, and I got a piece of mail recently that's perturbing me. I was hoping you could help." Harry said with a small smile flitting at the corner of his mouth.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it. Harry thank you for those scones once again. I must simply steal that recipe of yours." Janine said with a nervous smile. Harry glanced warmly at her and nodded.

"I'll drop it off when I come by next. Maybe we can swap for that brownie cake recipe." Janine laughed and nodded before shutting the door. Harry and Frank waited till the steps faded away. Then Harry looked at Frank coolly.

"You wouldn't perhaps know what this is?" Harry asked as he drew out a parchment envelope. Frank's breathe whooshed out and a smile broke out.

"Congratulations," he told Harry with a smile. "That is-"

"An admittance letter from Hogwarts," Harry smiled thinly. "Of course, however, I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. A letter to the deputy but..."

"You don't have an owl." Frank said knowledgably. He held out a hand inquiringly. "May I read you entrance letter?" Harry nodded and passed it over. Frank read it solemnly and felt his eyes widen. "Harry... Potter?" He whispered. He'd never known the boy's full name and his gaze flickered to Harry's forehead in disbelief. Harry kept his hair painstakingly tamed and done in a neat plait behind his straight cut bangs. Apparently the boy's hair was unbelievably unruly even grown out and the boy forcibly tamed it each morning.

"Yes?" Harry said with a look of faint annoyance. "Is there some stigmatism attached to my name Mr. Frank?" Frank shook his head clearing it quickly.

"My apologies Harry, it's just that... You're famous in the wizarding world." Frank was a squib of a newer magical family only able to trace their parentage back three hundred years. His sister, in fact, was only two years out of school for the Auror program.

"Okay," Harry replied. "Can you send this for me via owl?" Harry asked bluntly. Fame was a disinterest to him, he'd prefer to study and handle his stocks. Frank coughed before nodding and remembering the short six year old who had strolled in and asked the address to the nearest bank then corrected a high schooler's calculus homework.

"I wish you the best of luck Harry," Frank said as he accepted the letter from the young man.

Professor Minerva McGonagall, age fifty-six, stared determinedly down at the seemingly-never-ending list of things she was to do. It was almost endless. Really, Albus was a complete and utter wastrel! Leaving her to do all of the paperwork! She couldn't believe he left her with the flimsy excuse of Wizengamot and ICW business! It was a bloody weekend!

A scratching at her window had her looking up in annoyance before blinking. A public issue postal owl? She smiled in surprise. Another acceptance letter! And none too soon, the deadline was coming up. She rose and opened the window. The owl flapped in and settled benignly on a wide roost next to a water bowl that had a refreshing and refilling charm on it and another bowl with owl treats next to it. She untied the letter and left the window open to enjoy the breeze that flittered through, she hadn't realized it had gotten stuffy and stale in there, and for the owl's easy departure. She settled behind her desk once more and smiled further in surprise. It was a Muggle letter! Opening it she felt an arch of surprise stream through her.

To the Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall,

May I offer my warmest salutations to you, Madam? It has come to my attention that you wish for me to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After much deliberation I have consented, however there are a number of questions and peculiarities I would like addressed. As a non-magically raised child I lack the necessary information, understanding and knowledge that is available to others and would request, on my own personal behalf, some form of help. A meeting perchance with yourself or a trusted teacher? As it is currently I lack any knowledge of how to get my school supplies, get to school, or even how to pay for it all. It would be most appreciated if you were able to deliver some sort of information if a meeting is impossible.

With much sincerity and interest,

Harry Potter.

PS- Is there any way of sending a letter to the school WITHOUT an owl?

Minerva stared at the letter before sitting back. Glancing at her calendar she sighed in disappointment. She would have loved to have gone but it was impossible. Running the list of teachers and head of houses through her mind she winced. The only one free was Severus. Thinking of the dour man she glanced at her calendar again before groaning. She wasn't looking forward to running down the Potion Master, who would be likely in a foul mood and stinking of healing potions. Glancing at her paperwork she forlornly started once again wondering why she put up with her barmy boss.

Harry Potter, two days from being eleven, sat calmly at the kitchen table eating a meal he had prepared himself. Soup, a toastie made of spinach, mushrooms, three cheese and tomato, and salad with a glass of freshly made iced lemonade was quite suitable for the weather. He'd received notice a few days prior informing him of a one Professor Snape coming to pick him up. Glancing at the clock he finished his meal and cleaned up after himself. The professor was due at two, giving him half an hour to review his question, get the tea made, and make sure everything for the excursion that followed was assembled. His 'family' had left two days prior to go on their annual vacation and Harry had spent the last two days in peace and quiet. No screaming Dudders, no drunken gloating walrus-man, and no spiteful spitting from the giraffe-horse woman crossbreed that was nosier than a dog. Promptly at two there were three short knocks at the door. Harry smiled and appreciated the on-the-dot attitude this professor had.

"Good day sir," Harry said after checking through the drapes. "I am Harry Potter, please come in."

Severus Snape was not an overly kind man, he had admitted it to himself on more than one occasion. He detested small talk, frivolity, messy children who lacked manners, and untidiness. The small boy, who looked remotely like his most hated school rival but with his long dead love's eyes, was none of those things. He was offered tea, coffee or lemonade, as well as biscuits, after being escorted to a seat in the living room. Taking the coffee, a drop of cream just to lighten it, a small touch of cinnamon wafting to his nose and Severus admitted, silently to himself, perhaps he should have made such hasty judgments about the boy before meeting him. Harry Potter might not have been another Lily, but he sure as hell wasn't another toerag like James Potter had been.

"So, Mr. Potter, I was informed by the Deputy Headmistress that you had several questions and need assistance with school affairs?" Severus said while neatly placing his cup in his saucer after the initial introductions and polite host and guest questions were queried. The boy set his own glass of lemonade aside before answering.

"Yes, roughly a week ago I received a letter, July tenth I believe, informing me of my acceptance, my wizarding gifts, and what I needed for attending Hogwarts. However, as you can probably guess," Harry made a rather vague gesture to his surroundings, "I grew up in a non-magical environment. My relatives and I have little to no discourse, and thus I am alone in making sure all the necessary things are done. I notified them of my plans," more like blackmailed, Harry thought hiding a smug grin, "and they do not care as long as I do not cause trouble. However, that does not mean I am going to get there without help, thus the necessary questions: where do I buy my supplies, where is the school, how do I get there, and how am I paying for it?" Harry stated. "Also, are there any special requirements that need to be handled before I start school, or any laws and rules that now apply to me? The letter was... Vague."

Severus was impressed by the directness, the obvious previous attention to details and concerns, and answered amicably. "It is to my knowledge that your parents paid for all seven years of your schooling, and set aside a fund for you if you decide to ever continue on to mastery or secondary schooling like a college or a technical school. There is also a trust fund that is regularly updated that sends money to a specific vault for all school purchases, whether it be for supplies or supplementary needs, like sweets, games, and books. Hogwarts is located in Scotland in a castle by a lake and forest. The way you get there is by train. You did receive a ticket did you not?"

"No sir," Harry said. "The envelope only contained my admittance letter and the school list. No ticket at all." Severus blinked and then frowned.

"I'm surprised." Severus stated.

"No more so than I, I mean, how did my parents know to pay for this, and why wasn't I notified of this earlier? I was already looking into an advanced placement school where I could earn both a high school diploma and credentials from college. Is it uncommon for wizarding children to be found in non-magical households?" Harry said dryly.

"Not really, generally a teacher or ministry worker visits a young wizard or witch whose parents are non-magical. I believe you were forgotten since your parents were a wizard and witch and that your aunt was able to inform you of the necessary things since she and her parents went through the same with your mother. Though, there is much mystery around you Mr. Potter." Severus said before taking another sip of his coffee. It was a wonderful cup of coffee, perhaps made from a French Press? Harry quite audibly sighed before taking a biscuit and eating it in three neat bites.

"I would know nothing about that, though when I went to the post office Mr. Frank mentioned that I was famous, I was quite surprised. Famous for what, I have no idea. Did my parents do some sort of remarkable thing? My aunt always told me they died in an accident when I was a baby and some old geezer deposited me on their doorstep in the middle of the night. She was quite put out and has never been quite happy about our situation." Harry said bluntly after summarizing his thoughts. Severus, upon hearing this, froze as anger and unmitigated disbelief powered through him.

"An accident?!" The potion professor hissed. "Lily and James Potter died in no mere accident. They were murderedby one of the worst villains of our century. He had a reign of terror so bad that to this day people still fear speaking his name. Thus at least ninety percent of the populace refers to him as You-Know-Who." Harry blinked and processed this before frowning.

"Did they defeat him before dying? Is that why I'm famous?" Harry asked. Professor Snape paused before taking in a deep breathe.

"In a way Mr. Potter… The reason you're so famous is because most of the British Wizarding World believes you defeated him as a toddler." Harry blinked then put his hands to his head and rubbed his temples tiredly.

"So what you're telling me is that most of the Wizarding World completely lacks any form of rationale? They honestly believe a toddler defeated your worse villain. Why in all that is organized an—"

"It may be because you survived a curse that is supposed to cause instantaneous death, yet left with only the scar on your head." The teacher interrupted, though he was loath to do so. Harry's hand immediately went to his forehead.

"I'm going to get stared at a lot aren't I?" He asked dryly.

"Indeed."

"What an unmitigated disaster."

"Will you still go to Hogwarts?" the Potion Master asked curiously. Harry looked up and cocked a brow.

"Is there another option?" There was silence following that statement and Harry let out an aggrieved breath. "I take that as a no."

A/N2: To all of you I will have my other pieces updated eventually, I just need to fix my other laptop! .