A/N Hello, and welcome to chapter two of The Angels Stole My Fanfic!
First, thanks a lot for the reviews/alerts that I got last chapter - they're really appreciated, and keeps me motivated to write more chapters. It's a dog-eat-dog-eat other dog (and so on) world on FF, so to get five reviews is really quite nice. You'll all get thanked at the end!
Couple of notes: the scene numbering that started last chapter continues with this one (being a two-part parody of the same episode), so it will start with Scene XI, rather than Scene I. Also, I've merged some smaller scenes together - like Rory's escape from the Daleks, which is merged into one for your convenience.
THE ANGELS STOLE MY FANFIC - ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS: PART TWO
XI - Meanwhile, in the spaceship
AMY - So, I'm basically screwed, right?
DOCTOR No. Not really. A bit. Quite a lot. Yes, Amy, you're completely screwed. On the bright side, this is quite exciting.
AMY You have a very strange definition of exciting.
DOCTOR I know, right?
AMY Doctor...
DOCTOR Yes?
AMY You've got the wrong script again.
DOCTOR Oh, sorry. Amy...
AMY Ooh, look, a ballerina!
XII - And a new ship was born
RORY So... sorry, what was your name again? Oslo?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN It's Clara.
RORY I don't remember you saying that...
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Oh, yeah... spoilers. Um... yeah, I think it was Oslo.
RORY You can't even remember your name?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Let's change the subject. Take your shirt off now!
RORY Wait, what? Why?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Because reasons.
RORY I don't really like you.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN I like you, Rory.
RORY Would you stop flirting?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Nope.
XIII - Dalek parking
DOCTOR Oh crap
AMY What is it now?
DALEK OI - YOU! STOP - RIGHT - THERE! YOU'RE - NICKED!
DOCTOR Well, great. We're stuck in a Dalek Asylum, being attacked by a Dalek that has a cockney accent for some reason. Could things get any worse?
DALEK SELF - DESTRUCT - INITIATED!
DOCTOR Wait, do Daleks have a reverse?
DALEK OF - COURSE. WE - USE - IT - FOR - PARKING.
DOCTOR Thanks for that. Whee!
DALEK I'M - GOING - BACKWARDS - VERY - FAST. I - GIVE - UP.
OTHER DALEKS WHAT - THE - HELL?
And then there's an explosion, because it wouldn't be Doctor Who without explosions.
XIV - Guess who?
RORY Who killed all the Daleks?
DOCTOR It was me! I know, I'm awesome, get over it.
RORY Doctor... I think Amy's dying.
DOCTOR Well, that's the icing on the cake.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Not to be attention-seeking or anything, but look at me! I'm actually pretty goddamn intelligent.
DOCTOR Seriously, what's with the clever people today?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN You don't like it when you're not the smartest in the room, do you?
DOCTOR I'm going to ignore you now.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Good luck with that
DOCTOR Okay, we're going to get off this planet right now. Everything will be fine -
AND A BRIEF NEWSFLASH FROM THE WRITER. Was I the only person who thought that we were done for the episode right now?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN FREE ME!
DOCTOR What if I refuse?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Then the episode under-runs
DOCTOR Alright, hang on!
XV - Spaceenders
AMY In case you haven't forgotten, Rory, I still hate you very much.
RORY Remember, they're getting rid of love.
AMY Not talking to you.
RORY Here, have my handy bracelet.
AMY Wait, why are you giving me this.
RORY Because you think I'm a bit crap, and I love you, so there
AMY I CAN'T HAVE KIDS!
RORY Woah, where did that come from?
AMY You want kids, and I can't have kids, so therefore I hate you.
RORY Makes sense.
XVI - Now that's what I call an asylum
DOCTOR Oh great, the Medical Bay.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Best part of the asylum. They charge tons to go here.
DOCTOR They do tours here?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Yup.
DOCTOR I don't even know... Wait, do I know you?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Sorry?
DOCTOR This Dalek, not you. It's oddly familiar. Oh... bugger.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN What the fish is going on?
DOCTOR These are the buggers that ran away from me when I was busy saving the world.
DALEK HEL-LO.
DOCTOR Not again.
DALEK IT'S - YOU. YOU - KILLED - MY - SISTER.
DOCTOR It was an accident, I promise!
DALEK EGGS - TER - MIN - ATE!
DOCTOR Hang on... why can't you just shoot me?
DALEK OUR - GUNS - ARE - SECOND - HAND.
DOCTOR Jenna! Get this door open now!
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Call me Oswin, and I'll let you in.
DOCTOR CLARA!
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Oh for God's sake.
DOCTOR Fine. OSWIN, GET THIS BLOODY DOOR OPEN NOW!
DALEK WAIT. WHAT - WERE - WE - DOING - THEN?
DALEK 2 I CANNOT - REMEMBER.
XVII - I am not a Dalek, I'm a Dalek
DOCTOR So, Jenna, nice to finally meet - wait, where are you?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Have you lost the use of your eyes? I'm right in front of you.
DOCTOR But there's a Dalek in front of me.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Wait, what?
DOCTOR Eggs...
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Not you as well
DOCTOR Soufflés...
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Are you alright?
DOCTOR Look, I'm sorry, Jenna, but you turned up too early, and you've paid the price. You're a Dalek, btw.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN I'm not a Dalek! I'm a Dalek! I'm not a Dalek! I'm a Dalek! Exterminate!
DOCTOR Seriously, what's with the guns today?
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN EXTERMINAAAAATE.
DOCTOR You really don't want to do this.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN Actually, come to think of it, I can't really be bothered to kill you. Now go, and slow-mo run back to your friends.
DOCTOR Cheers. Thanks for wasting my time.
JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN No probs. See you at Christmas!
XVIII - So soapy
RORY Look, it's about time we cleared up this plot-line.
AMY I agree. I LOVE YOU, RORY.
DOCTOR Slow-mooooooo!
RORY You're killing this really emotional moment, Doctor.
DOCTOR Stop snogging, we're going to escape. For realsies this time.
AMY Thank god for that, I was beginning to talk a bit strangely. Also, I think I might have tried to kill Rory.
RORY Thanks.
AMY Don't mention it. Doctor, won't the Daleks kill us on sight?
DOCTOR They probably will, yes. But you know what they say? You only live thirteen times.
AMY I'm not sure that's the right phrase.
XIX - Who the heck's this guy?
DOCTOR Hey Daleks. How's things?
BORIS THE PRIME MINISTER GOOD - THANKS. I - GOT - CAUGHT - ON - A ZIP - WIRE - THOUGH. WAIT - WHO - ARE - YOU?
DALEK DOCTOR - WHO?
DOCTOR Well done, Captain Obvious, you've said the name of the show.
DALEK WHO - THE - HECK - IS - THIS - JOKER?
DOCTOR Oh, Jenna. You made them forget me. Thanks a bunch. Now what the heck's the next Dalek story going to be about?
XX - Happy times
DOCTOR Go and live your rubbish lives. I'm off to watch the Battle of Hastings for the eighth time.
AMY We're best friends again, by the way.
RORY So it's all fine?
AMY Why wouldn't it be?
RORY We weren't talking to each other eight hours ago.
AMY I'm Scottish, okay? I have mood swings.
RORY But...
AMY Look, do you want me to kick you out again?
RORY No.
DOCTOR Doctor Who? Doctor Who? Wait, why am I asking myself this when I already know the answer?
BONUS NEXT TIME SPOOF
DOCTOR This ship has very precious things in it, by the way.
SPACE WORKER And we're going to shoot it down if it comes near Earth. Just a heads-up.
DOCTOR Have I mentioned that this ship has really precious things in it?
DOCTOR Arthur Weasley? How the heck did you get here?
RORY Doctor... he's my dad.
DOCTOR What, you and Ron are brothers?
ARTHUR WEASLEY I'm really confused.
FILCH I'm going to kill you ALL.
QUEEN NEFERTITI I'm awesome, by the way.
LESTRADE And so am I!
DOCTOR That's it. I've had it with these motherfricking dinosaurs on this motherfricking spaceship.
And that's it for episode one. Once again, please review/favourite/follow - constructive criticism is more than welcome, but be nice about it! I'm going away for the weekend, but part one of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship will be up next Wednesday.