Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold, or anything else that I've mentioned.

Summary: After waking up to a bizarre series of events, Helga finds herself back in Hillwood after a 3 year absence, and just in time for her senior year of high school. But maybe a particular, lovable, football headed guy can make her return worthwhile. Oh, if things were only that simple, and with Helga and Arnold, they never are.

A/N: *Ugly cry face* last chapter!

It's just kidnapping…

Her eyes stared at pitch black darkness. Darkness because of black hood that had been thrown over her head, clearly made of the most light blocking material available. It was a wonder she didn't smother. Though she couldn't see anything, she could hear all the chatter of familiar voices. Voices from people she knew.

One minute she'd been minding her own business, the next; strapped to a chair, hands bound behind her with a dark cloth hood over her face like a high profile kidnap victim. Technically she had been kidnapped first. By whom, was obvious to her by then and the why…well, that was becoming more clear to her by the second.

One day prior - Graduation Day

"I see that Rhonda's issued an all points bulletin text," Phoebe noted, having not seen it earlier because of it being on silent. "I'll call her," She scrolled into her contacts and pressed the phone icon under Helga. Her phone was to her ear for maybe a second before she disappointingly pulled it away and said, "Straight to her voicemail."

"Great…she would turn her phone off," Arnold sighed with so much hopelessness that it made him physically sick. This girl was rapidly slipping away from him. He had to do something, "I'm going to go to her house."

"Yeah…she's going to love that," Gerald mumbled.

The blonde huffed, already starting to walk away, "Well, I've got to do something. I can't just stand around and let this get worse." He hadn't gotten far before he was caught by Brainy.

"Hey Arnold, we found her!" Brainy wheezed, walking up as the boy spun with a light jumping to his eyes.

"You found Helga?"

His friend shook his head, "No. Jordan," He clarified.

Arnold sighed, "Right…" He turned back and waved at Phoebe and Gerald to follow him. As they walked back inside, he, Brainy, Phoebe and Gerald saw all of there friends, who were gathered, begin dispersing across the auditorium, as if they were leaving. The blonde hurriedly skipped over to where Rhonda had appeared to conclude the huddle like a fashionable quarterback, "Hey, what's going on? Why was everybody here."

Rhonda smiled at the boy, "Oh, we are re-grouping at my mansion, darling. I explain everything to you when you get there, okay? Chow!" She waved as her and Curly hurried away.

Arnold sighed and looked back at his three friends, "I guess we're going to Rhonda's," He said with a shrug. He'd rather be trying to make some contact with Helga at that point, but the rational, logical side of him knew that he had to have a solid answer of what was on his phone to even plead his innocents with. Crying that it wasn't him, and he didn't know what it was wouldn't work on her and he knew it.

The pair of blonde sisters walked into the airport, Helga toting her travel bag, along with a backpack. Lightly packed considering her earlier vows of being done with Hillwood. Permanently. She was lazy though. Admittedly. What she wanted most was to just get out of there as fast as possible, and she had decided to come back for all of her things in a few weeks. Including her pets.

Olga walked with her for as far as she could, trying push down the overwhelming sense of melancholy that had been ever present since she had been informed that her little sister wanted to leave. Because of a boy, none-the-less. As much as she wanted to stop her, legally, she was an adult and thus, entitled to adult decisions. Such as, where she wanted to live.

Helga turned and looked at her elder sister before getting in line to be frisked down. "Well, I wish you'd reconsider," Olga tried, offering up a small smile.

Her sister sighed, "Please don't."

"I'm not, it's just…" Olga trailed off for a moment, "I'm going to miss you. I enjoyed having you stay with us, even if it was because of strange circumstances."

Helga offered up a tiny smile of her own, "I know. I…enjoyed it too," She truthfully agreed. It really hadn't been all that bad. "I'll uh…see you in a couple of weeks to get the rest of my things."

"Call me when you get there, alright?"

"I will," Helga reassured as she stepped into the line.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

She was up next in line, through her book bag onto the X-ray conveyor before stepping through and holding her arms out for the guy to pat her down. "Alright, bucko, you get too handsy, you're buying me dinner."

Arnold arrived at the house, along with Phoebe and Gerald, ringing the doorbell and was quickly ushered inside by Rosa. She smiled knowingly at the blonde boy, speaking in her native tongue as she lead them down a hallway off of the kitchen and pointed to a door.

"Hey, Arnold, why does she act like she knows you?" Gerald thumbed to the house keeper as she walked away.

His friend side eyed him as they opened the door and began descending the stairs, "Because she does."

"Did she get a special pic too?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes, not that either boy would notice.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

When the three of them descended the stairs, they saw the rest of their friends sitting on couches, chatting amongst themselves. He also noticed Jordan sitting in a chair, nervously twiddling her thumbs.

"Hey," Arnold walked up and greeted Rhonda, "So, what's going on?" He asked again, eyes cutting to eyeball Jordan. At that point, he failed to see how every one of their friends needed to be there for a personal matter. But much like the Lord, and people who refused to use their their car's turn signals, Rhonda moved in mysterious ways.

"Well, as you can see, I found Jordan," She said giving the girl an airy gesture as she stood, "Hold on a minute," from the chair she'd been sitting in, walked past everybody and over to a giant built in set of book shelves with a flat screen tv mounted between them. "So! Arnold," She elevated her voice so that everybody would pay attention to her, and also announcing his presence to everybody, "Jordan is going to explain to you why you have those text, and afterwards, everybody else will explain why they are here too. Fair, darling?

"Yeah, I guess," Arnold agreed with a nod before replacing himself in the chair that Rhonda had just evacuated.

Across from him, Jordan ran her hand through her hair, before inhaling and looking up at the boy she'd aided in causing so much misery, "Arnold, I know you are very confused as to why I would do this…"

"That's an understatement."

"I am truly sorry for getting wrapped up in this. I didn't do it out of some…ill will towards you or anything. I like you. We're classroom friends at the very least."

"Then why do it?"

"Lila is the one who strong armed me into…participating in this."

"Lila?" Arnold eyebrows pulled together in puzzlement as the stared at the girl. Lila doing something to cause problems between he and Helga had always been at the back of his mind, but he couldn't see how she played into this at all. After all, the texts were from Jordan…not Lila.

"She blackmailed me by threatening my full ride to Bennington. Rhonda's uncle is head of admissions there so…" Jordan trailed off as she gestured towards the fashionista. She didn't need to explain further. Arnold understood the threat. "Originally she wanted me to construct the texts, but I refused so…she started borrowing my phone."

"Sorry to butt in, but I get the whole part about her having your phone, but how in the world would she have gotten Arnold's phone?" Gerald asked.

Jordan shrugged, just as clueless as her classmate in the department, "I have no idea. She borrowed my phone a couple times a week. Always at the same time. Right when we changed classes at two O'clock."

"That would have been my weight lifting class," Arnold replied.

"And we locked our stuff up," Gerald pointed out, catching his best friends glance. "Or at least I did…"

"Well, yeah so did I…" Arnold trailed off in confirmation.

Jordan was at a loss for words, because she really didn't know the logistics of Lila's scheme once her phone was surrendered. "I really don't know how she did it then."

At that point, Arnold sighed and leaned forward, propping his elbows onto his knees, suddenly feeling a bit dejected with himself, "I locked my stuff up but I've used the same combination since…well, since forever and she would have guessed that right away," He ran a frustrated hand through his hopelessly messy hair, "I don't passcode my phone either so…I would have been very easy for her to do…actually."

"Dang bro…"

"Yeah…I know…" Arnold muttered. "But how would Helga have known to look through my messages to see all of that?"

"I can answer that," Rhonda chirped, "More than likely she had somebody send her a note in class or leave it on her car or something of that nature. I've run this scam before and that's usually how I plant the seed of distrust. For what it's worth Arnold, she came to my awhile ago wanting my blessing and my help with this very same plot and I told her that you two were off limits and thought no more about it."

Arnold nodded, appreciative that Rhonda had initially tried to stop it, but it still didn't help his current situation any. A missing Helga. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine Lila concocting such an awful scheme. When he figured she'd cause problems he assumed it would be the endless aggravation of Helga and maybe one more girl fight. "Thanks. Jordan…I don't blame you. I know how manipulative Lila has become…especially if she's convinced someone that she has the backing of Rhonda," He then looked to the rest of their friends, "So why are all of you guys here then?"

"We've decided to hold an intervention…on Lila," Sid replied very eagerly.

"An…intervention?"

"Well, it seems that we all agreed that Lila has done a lot of things as of lately that have rubbed us all the wrong way," Stinky explained, "And we just figured that what she did to you and Helga was the last straw."

"Yeah, she needs to be stopped."

Arnold sat up straight, his attention very much grabbed. It was extremely heartwarming to him that he wasn't in everything alone, and he liked the idea of sitting Lila down and forcing her to hear how problematic she'd become, but he just didn't see how that would be possible in the real world. "Look, don't get me wrong, I think an intervention is a great idea. But I just don't see how we're even going to get her to sit down to hear us out."

"I think it's possible," Harold responded back, and then shrugged when everybody shifted their eyes to him, "I mean she doesn't know about any of this. We could lure her."

"I say we kidnap her," Curly announced.

"Here we go…" Gerald mumbled, shaking his head.

"Yeah, that actually could work," Harold turned on the couch and pointed towards Thad.

"She'll obviously never come quietly," Nadine admitted.

"I could tap my birds and find out what her movements are going to be over the next couple days?" Rhonda offered waving her index finger.

"Guys!" Arnold called in an elevated voice. When everybody turned their attention to him, he raised his eyebrows slightly, "We can't kidnap her…can we?"

"What if…" Rhonda trailed off, a devilish smirk pulling the corner of her mouth upward, "We just called it…picking her up?"

"Picking her up?"

"Yep."

Arnold's mouth bobbed open and closed a few times before, "I…I could live with that."

Virginia.

Helga grabbed her bags and exited the terminal, keeping her eyes peeled for her friends then entire time. It was amazing how one could literally not see anyone when there were so many people afoot in a single space. They spotted her before she found them.

Nicki and Teegan both wrapped her up in one of those sandwich hugs where she was the filling and they were the two pieces of bread. "Who died?" Helga asked, attempting to be her typical sarcastic self.

"You don't have to be strong," Nicki murmured from behind, her cheek against the back of her long lost friend's head.

Helga rolled her eyes, "Guys…" She wormed out from between the two, "I'm fine," She swore, but they both eyeballed her a little too knowingly, "Mostly fine."

Hillwood.

As Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald left Rhonda's house, the blonde boy found himself retrieving his phone from his pocket and attempting to call Helga. It went straight to voicemail, and part of him wondered if she'd blocked him. It was something that she would do, especially if she thought he would try to blow up her phone, which he'd been smart enough not to, but still. She had little patiences for being jerked around by somebody. An endearing quality, but suddenly a nightmare when it came to a false accusation.

"Hey Phoebe, could you try giving Helga a call again?" He asked as he was climbing into Gerald's car.

The petite girl nodded as she dug her own phone from the bag she was carrying and dialed her best friend's number once she was seated in the passenger's, "It went to voicemail again," She caught Arnold's eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Okay. I was just seeing if she'd blocked me."

"Unless she's block me as well, which would be highly improbable. I think she just has her phone switched off."

"Yeah," Arnold agreed and turned to look out the window.

His two friends dropped him off at the boarding house. Once saying his goodbyes, he opted to go up the fire escape verses through the front door. He didn't really want to talk to anybody, or answer anymore mindless questions from his well meaning grandparents. He had to get his head straight.

He slipped down through his skylight hatch before collapsing face first onto his bed. Once there, he screamed at the top of his lungs right into his pillow. Rolling over onto his back, he felt like he wanted to cry. He had faith that everything would work out in the long run…somehow…but, in the meantime, he just felt so stressed and anxiety riddled that he was convinced he was going to sprout thorns.

While laying there, it finally occurred to him that he could potentially send Helga a message through Facebook. Perhaps she'd turned her phone off to prevent him from calling her, but maybe she'd still be checking into social media from her laptop.

He thumbed over to Facebook messenger app and typed her name into the search bar, however he realized that a message to her that way was suddenly…impossible. He'd been blocked.

"Oh come on…" He sighed as he shifted over to the actual Facebook app, his new suspicion quickly confirmed. They were no longer friends.

She'd thought of everything.

Dropping his hands to his chest, he closed his eyes and just laid there for what seemed like forever dreaming about how, if he and Helga could have connected well before senior year, none of this crap would be happening.

Wishful thinking.

His phone buzzed and out of instinct he shot up to hurriedly look at it. Regrettably it was only one of Rhonda's group messages that read, '1:30pm. Lloyd Manor. Monday.'

Present - Monday

Rhonda's birds had nailed it. They had told her that Lila was planning a shopping trip to the mall around 2:00pm with a couple friends, and indeed she was. And they were waiting for her. The 'kidnap—er…pick-up gang.'

Rhonda, Curly, Sheena, Stinky, Sid, Eugene and Gerald who drew the short straw after Harold, who had originally wanted to be part of the van crew, had been running late. The rest of the crew had stayed behind at the basement headquarters.

The van full of classmates crept across the parking lot slowly, looking about as suspicious as humanly possible as they spotted Lila exiting the department store with a couple girls that the group knew from their school and was a peripheral member of Rhonda's girl gang. Said heiress knelt between the driver's and passenger's seat, where Sheena and Eugene sat. She peered through the windshield like an avid hunter. Only this time, she wasn't looking for an exclusive at Nordstrom…sort of.

"Hit it…" She instructed as she narrowed her heavily massacred eyes.

Sheena slowly accelerated the van until they had pulled behind the three girls while they strolled across the parking lot. Before she could even stop the van, Curly had wrenched the side door open and he, Sid and Stinky rolled out. "Everybody be cool this is a kidnapping!" He shouted as Sid threw a black hood over Lila's head and he and Stinky began wrestling her non-compliant form back towards their getaway vehicle. Because that was the thing to shout to put people's minds at ease.

Lila screamed. The other two girls screamed. Eugene screamed.

Next thing they knew, the two girls were whipping out cell phones and get serious about everything.

Rhonda had to remedy all the hysteria. She hopped out of the van, eyeballing the two girls as she pointed at them, "If either of you say a word to anyone, I'll execute the reputations of every last one of you," She threatened.

Both girls gulped and looked at one another before looking back at Rhonda, "Y-yeah…yeah. Whatever you say," They said, lowering their phones and abandoning the nine-one-one calls they were about to make.

Rhonda exhaled, before smiling brightly, "Okay, good. Chow!" She waved, sliding back into the van before shutting the door.

Curly grabbed her immediately, pulling her into a hot, messy, make-out of a kissing session, growling out in between: "God that was so sexy my love."

"Wasn't it, darling?" She bit his lip, "We should have done something like this ages ago."

At the back of the van, Gerald, looking absolutely horrified, because he was, slowly let his head fall into his awaiting hands, "I've got to find normal friends…"

"Let me go! Let. Me. Go!" Lila squirmed as they handcuffed her hands behind her back so that she couldn't remove the hood. This was an authentic kidnapping…er, 'pick up' after all. "You have the wrong person! I haven't done anything. I don't know any scary people!" She reasoned, at that point, scared to death and having no clue who she was in the company of, since she couldn't see anything, "I'll…I'll give you anything you want!" She then begged.

"How about silence?" Stinky chimed in, making Lila effectively pause her struggle against her restraints for a moment, "Cause I reckon we've heard about enough from you."

"Stinky?"

"Alright! That's enough from you!" Curly quickly butted in, pulling away from Rhonda, "But, yes, be quiet!"

"No! I am going to sue you. I am going to sue you into oblivion!"

"Fine! I'll counter sue for some silence!"

The ride from the mall to Rhonda's mansion wasn't a long trek, but it felt unnecessarily long because of Lila's constant howling, and her and Curly's back and forth jabbing at one another the entire way.

By the time they pulled to the back of the house, everybody was ready to be out of that van. Stinky and Sid escorted…or, rather hauled Lila through the back door and down into the basement, where they had previously made their nefarious plans and where the remained her of their friends were still waiting.

"What the hell?!" Arnold's eyes bugged out when he saw his friends bring in his ex-girlfriend, cuffed and hooded, "You said we were just going to be doing a soft kidnapping!"

"Well, things…escalated. Quickly," Sid replied with the obvious.

"Things got real," Curly said as he walked past them.

"Real? How real? We could get arrested for this!" The blonde tried again, "For real!"

"Each day we stray a little further from God's light…" Gerald muttered, "In this case…veered."

"I took care of all the witnesses, darling. Don't worry," Rhonda smiled, feeling mighty proud of herself by that point. Arnold didn't even want to know at that point. "That chair right there," She then pointed to a nice antique wooden chair, with a cushioned bottom that she'd dragged down from somewhere upstairs.

The two escorts sat Lila down in the chair and a circle began forming around the bewildered girl. Gerald walked up behind Arnold and Phoebe and said, "I'm thinking about holding auditions for new friends, you two want in?"

"Shhhh…" Arnold quickly silenced his friend.

"Alright! You have a lot of explaining to do!" Rhonda ripped the hood off of Lila's head rapidly, attempting to be as menacing as possible.

"Ow! My hair!" Lila squealed, rapidly shaking her head before sitting up and looking around at all of her classmates. Her face then pulled down into the meanest expression that she'd ever asked it to muster. She glared between each of them. "Is this some kind of sick joke? What…is wrong with you people?"

"You!" Everybody shouted back at one time.

Lila blinked, admittedly, beyond confused by that, "Me? You kidnapped me!"

Rhonda could only roll her eyes at that point, "Cut the crap, Lila. I know what you did to Helga and I know you went behind my back to do it."

Lila slowly turned her head and looked at her arch acquaintance before snorting.

"Do you think that's funny darling?" Rhonda retorted, but the red head just kept sneering at her, chortling quietly to herself.

"Yeah, I do. I just never imagined you all to be this crazy." This absolutely set the head kidnapper off. She began looking around, looking for a pillow to wack her with, but her eyes quickly spotting one of the small squirt bottles of holy water. One of many that Rosa left all around the house to ward off evil spirits, and as of recently, her late husband Clive who'd escaped the shampoo bottle.

She marched over to the bookshelf and grabbed it from the mantle before returning and giving Lila a good firm squirt in the face. "Take that!"

"Ew!" Lila started spitting. "Was that just water? Tell me that was only water!"

"In the face!" Sid howled.

Lila spit a few more time before glaring at Rhonda and then to the rest of her friends, at that point deciding to double down on the defiance, despite her better judgment, "Look, squirt me all you want, leave me tied up for as long as you ever so want, I'm not going to apologize for what I did, because they had it coming."

Everybody just blinked at her and her sheer audacity for several seconds, honest to God surprised that she was digging in on the same behavior that had landed her in her intervention to begin with. That was when Harold yelled, "Let's waterboard her!"

"Yeah!" Everybody besides Gerald, Phoebe and Arnold yelled.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Arnold yelled, stepping forward while putting both hands up.

"Aw, come on Arnold," Harold began whining, "Don't buzz kill this."

"Buzz kill?" The blonde scoffed, "Would you listen to yourselves? First of all, I'm pretty sure waterboarding is illegal unless you're a terrorist."

"Well…" Stinky drawled, "One could argue that she's terrorized the entire student body of P.S. 120."

While correct, and quite possibly a loop hole in his quickly thrown out argument against the mob mentality morphing in his group of friends, he hadn't the time to argue. He had to get this back on track. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, "While a valid point…guys, what did we agree that this was when we planned it?" He rhetorically asked, shifting his eyes among the entire group, "An intervention for us to air all of our grievances…" He then turned and looked at his ex-girlfriend, "And for me to get an answer as to why she would do something so cruel as what she did to Helga."

Lila's face darkened in a way that he'd never seen and she sharply inhaled before huffing, "You mean as oh so cruel as what you did me, Arnold?"

"Oh…deep cuts…" Sid leaned into Brainy and whispered.

Arnold was dumbfounded, eyebrows pulling down to show as much. He couldn't recall a time he'd ever been cruel to anybody, much less her. Unless she considered his retrieval of his family heirloom an unforgivable crime or something. But that'd be absurd. "How was I ever cruel to you?" He retorted.

His ex-girlfriend snorted, "You mean like how you led me to believe for months, that everything was fine while you apparently pinned after her, making other plans?"

Okay…yes maybe that wasn't his finest moment, but he'd hardly done anything wrong…

…Except fall in love with another girl while dating some one else.

Arnold quietly exhaled. So maybe he could see how she would still be salty over it all. Salty enough to pull a stunt like she did. Even if he didn't intend to hurt anyone. "Lila…I…I didn't ask for it to happen the way it did. It was never my intention to string you along. I was just extremely confused by my feelings for her and I didn't know what to do for awhile."

Lila rolled her eyes at him, "I knew she was gong to be a problem the minute she showed up here. You were just too stupid to see it."

"Deeper cuts…"Sid whispered again.

Arnold felt a rare surge of anger spark through his core as he stared at her, causing him to huff and take a step towards, "Yeah, how about some deep cuts, Lila?" He sneered angrily at her, "You and I were never going to work. Ever. And you want to know why? Because the only reason I was dating you to begin with was because I felt like it was expected of me. Not because I was really into you. Sorry. Or not." He held his arms out wide and shrugged, "I'd say not at this point considering how much of a manipulative jerk you are anymore."

"You just admitted that you used me, and I'm the manipulative one?" Lila scoffed, "You people…"

At that point, Gerald sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose, so done with the entire ordeal. He stepped forward before Arnold, or anybody else could speak up and said, "Okay, since clearly nobody else here knows what an actual intervention is, would everybody here that has been personally victimized by Lila Sawyer, please raise their hand?" He requested, looking around at his friends.

Slowly, one by one, each and every person there pulled their hands upward into the air. Except for Phoebe…who quietly, and casually, glanced around at her peers. This perplexed her boyfriend, "Really baby? She ain't never done anything to you?"

Phoebe shrugged and shook her head, "No, I've never had any issues." Gerald turned back to Lila, who just shrugged from her chair.

"Regardless, the point is, besides us all being angry at the crap you pulled on Helga and my man here," He patted Arnold on the shoulder, "We all realized that we've become fed up and generally disgusted by the way you treat everybody and your whole…demeanor."

"You've changed, Lila…and not for the best," Nadine chimed in.

Sheena cleared her throat next, "You've become too much like Rhonda. Maybe even worse."

It was Lila's turn to finally feel confused by what they were saying, and it showed by the scowl that subconsciously pulled her lips downward. What were they talking about? "And yet you guys are fine with her?" She turned at looked at the raven haired heiress, who was examining her nails.

"Well…" Sid began, "Rhonda didn't change overnight. She's always been that way, and we expect it…and…and I guess find it endearing too."

"And even if Rhonda comes off as being mean and nasty, we know she doesn't actually mean it, because we're all friends."

Rhonda put her hand to her chest and smiled as if she'd just received an award, "Aww, why thank you, darling."

"I reckon what we're all trying to say is, we liked the old Lila much better than what we've had to live with for the past few years," Stinky explained, "You used to be somebody that we could easily talk to and always had a positive outlook. Now…you're a grade 'A' mean girl."

"Yeah…" Lila agreed, her eyebrows rising high on her forehead, "I was that nice girl, but you know what? I got so tired of just…feeling like I was wallpaper to you all. Nice but…falling through the cracks. I wanted…I wanted to be a person that made an impression in people's memories."

"The good news is that you have…" Brainy replied, trailing off…

To which Harold finished off with, "But we can't wait to forget you at this point."

"Lila, you are literally, the one person that nobody wants to keep up with after graduation," Gerald capped it off.

Of everything said, that seemed to be the statement that finally turned the key in her brain, and opened it up to everything else that had been said the entire time. With a sigh, she slumped her shoulders and dropped her head slightly, "And that's the exact opposite of what I had in mind." She remained silent for a few second before going on with, "I've been in Hillwood for eight years, and I've never told anyone why my dad and I came here, other than my mom being dead, or…even why we're in the situation we're in now," She looked up with a defeatist expression painting her face, "My parent's owned and operated a dairy farm until…my mom went in for a appendectomy and died from being given an antibiotic that she was listed as being highly allergic to. My dad was good a farming, but…not so great at keeping up with the finances, which my mom did, and…he finally just…lost everything to the bank. We moved here to…try to start over. The entire time, we were in a long, drawn out malpractice lawsuit with the hospital and…they finally settled sophomore year here. And just like that, my dad and I have a life changing amount of money."

"Wilikers…"

"That's how we got…rich. At that point, I decided that I had to means to not be wallpaper anymore. I had the means and the confidence to be more than a background character in this group. I did hang out in California for the summer…by myself and…I paid Fuzzy Slippers to create some juicy rumors about what I was doing and to hide the origin of my wealth."

Rhonda and Gerald both gasped in horror while Lila sighed, tinging red with a little embarrassment, "Yes I oh so know…I tainted the holy rumor fountain for my own nefarious purposes." The tall dark skinned guy walked forward quickly, snatching the spray bottle from Rhonda's surprised hand and squirted their captive in the face. "Hey!" Lila spit, "I'm sorry, okay!?"

"Sorry…" Gerald apologized, handing the bottle back to Rhonda, "Sorry everybody…" He stepped away, rolling his shoulders once or twice, "Lost my chill for a second."

"I…didn't realize that everybody felt this way about the changes I made."

"You shouldn't be all that surprised dear," Rhonda cocked her hip as she propped her hand up on it, "You've been an absolute nightmare. And that's saying something, coming from me."

"I guess I…didn't realize that I'd gotten so out of control. Honestly…it's turned out to be a giant house of cards," Lila didn't want to have to admit what she'd been hiding for a little while, because it was super embarrassing to her. Even more embarrassing than being poor, or paying the town rumor mill to make herself look cool, or trying to be something she wasn't only to find out that people couldn't wait to write them out of the history books, "I'm broke again," She finally just spat out the awful truth, "As I said before…my dad is…just terrible with money and…invested very poorly. I've got enough left to put myself through college after dipping into it a bit for this Vegas trip."

None of her classmates said anything for a solid few seconds appearing as they were all considering the tid bit of information she'd given them. Arnold might would be the first to admit that he, while still extremely angry at her, now felt sorry for her. Not because of the situation that she was in, but for the very fact that she just couldn't be true to herself.

"We're sorry if we made you feel like you were always in the background, Lila," Sid finally said.

"We weren't trying to, and your never felt that way to us," Sheena quipped with a small smile.

"Yeah, I mean. You don't have to be the ring leader like Rhonda, or the group counselor like Arnold, or the MacGyver like Phoebe, or…the danger prone Daphne like me to be a memorable figure in our group." Eugene spoke up for the first time since his screaming in the van. "We need all the normal ones we can get."

"So the point is, we all want the old Lila back because we all liked you when you were yourself," Gerald finished off, to the adamant nods of everybody.

Lila nodded, "I secretly liked myself better that way too," She then sat back and squirmed, trying to make herself more comfortable in an impossible situation, "Can I be un-cuffed now? My wrists are throbbing."

"Uh…oh yeah…sure," Rhonda agreed, retrieving the key from her pocket and undoing the metal restraints. Once popped off, Lila leaned forward and rubbed her wrists a few times before looking bake up at the group. "Thanks guys…" She said in a quiet voice, still incredibly embarrassed of herself. "Arnold, can I talk to you for a minute?" She then asked him.

"Yeah…sure," He agreed before looking at the rest of his friends and saying, "Take five everybody?"

"Sounds good to me." The group began walking away.

"Hey Rhonda, you got any food in this place? Kidnapping makes me hungry!"

"Harold…Jesus…it's been like a hour since we had lunch."

Arnold walked over to Lila as she stood up from the chair and stretched her legs. "I…I'm incredibly sorry for what I did."

Her ex-boyfriend gave her a tight lipped nod before replying with, "I forgive you."

"Does she hate me?"

"She probably will when I finally find her and everything gets explained."

Lila's eyes widened, "Oh…" Dang. Everything had worked better than ever expected.

"Listen…" Arnold reached up and scratched his brow, trying to change the subject off of Helga's M.I.A. nature as of current, "I uh…I didn't mean to make it sound like I never cared about you or that I…in any way used you. I mean I did mean to say that a minute ago, but it wasn't true. I was angry…still am angry. I wasn't unhappy with you, I just wasn't happy. So, I'm not going to lie and say that Helga stumbling in front of my car wasn't the best thing that has ever happened to me though. I love her," Arnold admitted finally, "She does things to me emotionally that nobody ever has, and probably ever will and…I hope you can accept that."

Lila was more than a little surprised to hear that. While she had successfully convinced herself of the 'Helga and Arnold aren't serious' bull crap, or even more ridiculous, that she would just be a 'phase girl' for him, knowing that it was just that…crap, she never imagined it to be as serious as it apparently was. It finally made more sense to her at that point. How worn down with conflict he had been in. He had a habit of trying to make everybody happy, and he had unfortunately found himself in a situation where he couldn't. And now, looking at it through a fresh set of eyes and perspective, she was glad that he made the choice to make himself happy for once.

"Arnold, I know we weren't right for one another," She finally confessed, "Deep down, I think I knew in the very beginning. Even so, I saw the non-stop struggle with your feelings towards the end. I knew it was going to come to a head sooner or later. I know you didn't use me. It's the furthermost thing from your personality to do so, but at the time, you made me feel like…"

"Wallpaper?"

"Yeah…like I was a background character again…easily tossed to the side for a girl who…is gone for several years, comes back and everybody thinks she's the bees knees." Arnold made to reply, but Lila shushed him with her hand, "That's not me being mean, that's only what I thought at the time. But…I didn't do what I did in any hopes of getting you back, I did it out of spite and to take something away from you."

Arnold was very relieved to hear that her actions weren't because she was pinning after him or anything of that nature, and he couldn't hide the relief that washed down his face, un-kinking that stress crease that had been made almost permanent between his eyebrows just a bit. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you just wanted to try to ruin my love life and you aren't still hoping that…"

"Definitely not," Lila cracked a very small smile at him, "So, I very much understand if you don't want to be friends with me ever again. I oh so deserve it at this point."

"I'm not a grudge keeping guy. If you apologize to Helga when I find her, and explain to her everything that you've told me, I'll consider everything water under the bridge at this point."

"That sounds fair."

Tuesday - Night.

"I don't get it…" Arnold stared out the car window as he, Gerald and Phoebe slowly crept by Helga's house after his friends had insisted on taking him to dinner to cheer him up a bit. Helga's phone was still turned off and try as she might, Phoebe had gotten zero response from her over Facebook. "Her car is still here. Is she just holding up in there?"

"Probably a good thing. Have you see our crazy-ass friends lately?" Gerald quipped as he turned the car around in the cul-de-sac.

"It's possible," Phoebe hesitantly agreed with Arnold, "However, Helga can be stealthy about things."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that, there is a high probability that she went back to Virginia in the chaos."

Arnold sat back in his seat and crossed his arms, "Great…"

Gerald caught his friend's depressive glumness reach a whole new level of pathetic in the rear view mirror, and it honestly even broke his heart. Not that he didn't feel terrible for him already. "Hey man, I'm sure she'll come around sooner than later. At least to tell you off or something."

"Not likely," Phoebe casually replied.

Her boyfriend's head snapped in her direction, his face morphed into flabbergasted, "Damn baby, that's harsh. I'm trying to make him feel better here."

"I fully realize that Gerald, but…"

Arnold sighed, "Guys…"

"What I meant was, she's stubborn and I'm positive the activity of ghosting was invited just for her," She explained further before twisting her body in her seat to look back at Arnold, "Even if she's not answering any of her own personal accounts, I know a way to get a hold of her."

"How?"

"Her friends in Virginia. I have their numbers. Assuming that she has indeed gone there."

"Well break out that phone and call them. This man has suffered enough," Gerald insisted.

Arnold sat forward in his seat and put his hands on either seat in front of him. As much as he wanted to tell Phoebe to call her friends right away and ask if they knew were Helga was—likely with them at that point—he had to consider the real possibility that she was not only ghosting him, but everybody in association with him too. "I want you to call, but I think we need to be smart about it."

"I agree. If she's with them and finds out that I'm assisting you in contacting her, she's likely to shut down completely."

"Here we go again…" Gerald tossed his eyes as they drove, to the mild glares of his passengers.

"We're not planning to kidnap her."

"Just a phone sting," Phoebe said, adjusting her glasses as she pulled out her cell. Still sensing Gerald's judgmental stare on her she cut him a side eye, "Considering what we've been apart of today, even I'm okay with this."

He conceded with a reluctant nod of the head and absently gestured to her, "Yeah, you're right. Make the call."

Phoebe decided to start with Teegan, being she was a pseudo ring leader out there. The other end rang twice before the girl's ever cheery British voice greeted her, "Hey, Teegan…sorry for the random call, but…you haven't by any chance talked to Helga lately have you? Really?" She cut her eyes to Arnold and nodded, "Yeah…no, I'm sure you've heard all about what happened. Affirmative, he is quite a piece of work," She shrugged and mouthed a 'sorry' to her friend, "Well just tell her to call me, she sort of ghosted out of here and I've been a little worried about her. Thanks, Teegan…you too, bye."

"Well?"

"She's with them, Teegan said that she'll go get Helga to call me."

An hour later.

Helga had just stepped into her room after a relaxing bath, still drying her hair with a towel that was probably more expensive than her entire wardrobe when her friend came bursting through the heavy wooden door. "You need to ring Phoebe."

"What?" The blonde asked, pulling the towel from her head, wondering what Teegan was suddenly on about.

"She telephoned me because, apparently you didn't say anything before you left, and don't know how to answer a phone."

"Well, it was a hasty extraction. I played it close to the chest. Nobody but my sister and brother-in-law knew."

Teegan rolled her eyes, "You had a bad break-up, not a compromised spy mission."

"Okay, okay," Helga waved her friend off, just hoping she would shut up about the whole things, "I'll give her a call after finish getting dressed."

"Thank you, still up for tacos out tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be down in a bit."

"Brilliant," Teegan replied as she exited the room, shutting the door behind her.

Once she was gone Helga sighed and rolled her eyes. Yeah, she should have told Phoebe because she was her best friend and surely she would wonder about her prolonged absence like a normal individual. Maybe her stealthy escape from Hillwood wasn't the greatest idea.

Criminey, how else was she suppose to do it? With an eyepatch, feathered hair and an assault rifle?

Shaking her head, she threw on some shorts and a tee shirt before rooting through her book bag for her long shut off cell phone. She cringed at the amount of missed calls and texts from Arnold that she probably had as she powered it back on.

It took a second, but she was pleasantly surprised that there were a grand total of two—two—missed calls from the douche canoe and no—read it—no text messages. To her, that spoke volumes. To her, that said that everything that she had read through his phone, was true.

Never-the-less, it wouldn't have changed anything had there been a million calls, voicemails and text all pleading his innocents. She saw what she saw and that was the end of it. She shoved the memory to the back of her mind as much as she could, not wanting to get worked into those dreaded tears again.

She really could go back and kick herself for ever catching feels for that boy.

Phoebe's line rang once—obviously anticipating her reaching out—before she picked up, her voice sounding almost relieved by the way she said, "Helga."

"Hey Pheebs…look before you say anything, I'm sorry for not telling you I was leaving."

"Are you? Because I don't think you really are."

"Well…I just figured that if I told you I was leaving, you'd tell Gerald and Gerald would tell Sir Douche Nozzle, because, I'm sure by now you have heard what happened and…I'll be honest Pheebs, I didn't have many options. I can't pull off feathered hair and an eyepatch really screws with my depth perception so—"

"Sorry…what are you talking about exactly?"

"Which part? Arnold being a douche nozzle or my inability sport feathered hair?"

"Oh jeez…yes I heard there was a situation of some sort with Arnold. Honestly, I don't know what all happened and that's your business."

"That's surprising," Helga's eyebrow perked. She figured the whole school would know. Or at least tall hairboy would have filled her in with some half-truths by that point. "We'll he's a tool for one, a liar and a…two bit player."

"…I'll take your word for it. You still should have told me you were leaving."

"Yeah, I realize that now, thank you."

"So…are you okay?"

Helga sighed and ran a hand through her still slightly damp hair, "No, not really, and I don't want to talk about it because I don't feel like getting all…emotional and crap."

"God forbid."

"Hey…"

"I meant no offense Helga. It's perfectly natural to feel emotional turmoil after a relationship has a sudden and bad ending, that's all."

"Yeah I know I just…" She paused, feeling her throat tighten a little and those pesky feels begin to sting the rims of her eyes with their stupid burning tears, "It was stupid. So stupid. It was too good to be true, you know? I…finally get the guy I've been—whether I've wanted to admit it or not—pinning after for far too much of my life only for it to go down in flames."

"I wouldn't focus on it too much. It's only going to make you feel worse."

"Yeah…you're right."

"So…so are you just going to stay out there from here on out?

Helga held the phone away and sniffed so Phoebe couldn't hear it before saying, "Yeah, I think so. Teegan has plenty of space so…I think it's just be better this way."

"I hate to hear that. It was great having you so close by again."

She was unwilling to go back to Hillwood at that point, but she bet that Phoebe would have no qualms about coming out for a little while to hang out with her. "You should come out here for a few weeks…in fact," Helga perked up again, having remembered how bummed her friend had been about not being able to attend their mullet Christmas party, "We're having a party this Saturday, you could fly out. It'll be a good time."

"I wish I could but, my grandparents came into town to see me graduate and they'll be here for a an extended stay."

"I hear you," Helga understood completely, even though she was rather bummed there would be no convincing her friend otherwise, "So, everybody wants to go get some tacos soon so…how about I call you back later tonight?"

"I'll be awake."

"Sounds good. Talk to you then."

"Bye."

Hillwood.

Phoebe ended the call, turning to look back at the two boys sitting on Arnold's bed looking intently at her, eyes hungry for some answers. "Sorry for not defending your honor Arnold. But I figured it was just better to play dumb with her than have her shut down over reason."

The boy in question hurriedly rose from his mattress, "I'll live. So is she coming back anytime soon or what?"

"At this point, I'd say the chances of that are less than one percent."

The frustrated boy huffed and began pacing, running a hand through his hair, "Well that doesn't exactly help me."

"Sorry dawg…" Gerald meekly tried, cutting his eyes at Phoebe, signaling for some help.

"I guess…I guess I'm just going to…" Arnold halted in his tracks, looking up and back at his friends, "We were suppose to be flying out there early Saturday morning. I already have the plane ticket! I'll…just fly out there when I was originally suppose to and she can spend the next few days cooling off. She'll have to listen to me then."

"Yeah, and then she's going to have you arrested for stalking," Gerald pipped up, to the unamused looks of Arnold and Phoebe, "What? Either that or she's likely to do something crazy. Like round house kick him. Just saying."

"I'm not sure Arnold…" Phoebe tried, trying to imagine what her friend's reaction would be to him showing up would be, and none of them were that great. Helga's picture was in the dictionary right besides the words 'stubborn', and 'unreasonable'.

"Well…my choices are very limited at this point. I suppose I'd rather say what I need to say and get round-house kicked trying, than sit around and feel helpless."

Wednesday - Afternoon

"Alright, alright, I'm coming you hear!" Phil gripped as he walked towards the front door, having heard the door bell ring for the second time, "I'm an old man! This body doesn't move like a cheetah anymore!" When he opened the heavy thing he saw a boatload of young people standing all the way down his stoop.

"Is Arnold around?" Sid asked.

Phil leaned back inside and yelled up the stairs, "Hey Shortman! The entire neighborhood is here to see you." They all stood there in an awkward silence until they heard the booming thuds of Arnold bounding down the old wooden staircase.

"The whole…" The boy trailed off when he saw all of his classmates standing outside his door, "Oh…hey guys."

"Well, I'll leave you to it," Phil threw his hands up before shuffling back into the living room and resuming his programs.

Arnold walked up to the door, seeing the van parked out on the street and gulped. Great. They were about to kidnap him for some unknown intervention. "What's uh…what's up?"

"Phoebe and Gerald told us what was going on," Rhonda began, "And that you were planning to fly to Virginia to get Helga."

"Oh…" Arnold replied, turning a faint shade of red as he reached up and began rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't know why he was suddenly so embarrassed of his rash action. Possibly because it was his love life and…he imagined by then, everybody knew he was absolutely in love with that girl. After all, who else would go through such lengths, "I know it probably sounds like stalking but…she's not coming back here so…"

"It's absolutely adorable darling," Rhonda gushed before handing him a white envelope, that he took and proceeded to just stare at, "We were going to get your plane ticket, but since you already had that, we all chipped in and got a you a first class hotel to stay for a few days at."

"What?" Arnold looked back up, eyes darting to each of his friends, even Lila, who stood at the very bottom of the steps, offering him a tiny smile. He then opened the envelop and saw a reservation for nice suite for a place in Richmond. "Oh wow."

"I just figured you and Helga could use a nice place to relax before coming back," Rhonda explained further.

"Or you know, if it doesn't work out a nice place to…" Sid trailed off when he notice everybody death glaring him, "Oh right…" He cheesy grinned as he reached up and started rubbing the back of his neck, "Ha ha…yeah, it'll be fine."

"I uh…I don't know what to say."

"Eh, it's the least we could do," Harold said with a toothy smile plastered on his face, "You would have done the same for any of us."

Arnold shot them his signature ear to ear smile and held his arms out wide, "Come here guys!"

"Group hug!" Stinky shouted as everybody huddled together, laying arms across one another.

Sid inhaled and began belting, "And we're the fourteen best friends that anybody could ha—"

"—That's enough."

Saturday - Early Morning

Arnold walked into the airport, still wiping bits of sleep from his eyes as he shrugged his book bag onto his shoulders a little more. He had barely slept a wink the night before, nerves getting the better of him more than excitement. Sure, he was excited about getting to see her, but, he was so afraid that he wasn't going say the right things, or explain everything just right or…worse, that it had created some sort of permanent block in her mind towards him that would never be undone.

Oh, and of course, there was Jaime. Good ole' Jaime. He hoped, sincerely hoped that she hadn't gone running back to him already. He was well aware that she had told him that she and Jaime were no match, which he tried to take comfort in, but still…dude was a catch. Who wouldn't want to go running to him?

It was way to early in the morning to be thinking about it. Hopefully he could sleep a little on the flight there.

Saturday Night.

Helga stared at herself in the mirror as she set the curling iron down on the giant vanity, deciding that that was enough curling of her hair for the evening. She could have done more, but she just didn't have it in her that night. Besides, her outfit was on point. Red plaid long sleeve top, high waisted black skirt, topped off by a pair of long black stocking and black heels.

Plaid was the theme. At least in her gang, seeing as they were recreating the Clueless trio. It only made sense that Teegan would go as Cher, which left her and Nikki to decide which was Deon and which was Tai. She had been happy to take the role of the offbeat redhead who was new to the school. It fit her. "Do yourself a favor. Go out there and have a good time. Get smashed and dance on a table as…as Nefertiti," She pep talked her reflection before reluctantly nodding and standing up, "You're right. I'm over it. I'm over it."

It had been one long day. And long flight, that he hadn't slept a wink on. He paid for it though. The minute he hit his hotel room—the super nice one at that—he'd collapsed on the bed, falling into a dead to the world sleep that while frustrating, was very refreshing and recharging. The problem was, was that he'd been so tired, and stressed and he'd literally slept all day. A day that he'd planned to try to catch up with Helga—or maybe the word corner would be more appropriate at that point—at her friend's house and facilitate a—hopefully—round-house kick free conversation with.

Needless to say, when he dragged his foggy head from the drool stained pillow and glanced at his phone, he was horrified to discover that it was a little past 8:30 pm.

"Oh no…" He pushed himself up and kicked his feet over the side of the bed. Now what was he suppose to do? The day was gone. Go back to sleep? Wait until Sunday?

That was an idea. After all…that party was happening…or going to be happening soon. The last thing he wanted was to cause a scene and he really preferred they talk in private.

"What, are you a karaoke monster when you're lit or something?"

"She wishes it were that tame. Last time I saw her have too much to drink she took off her shorts, put them on her head, climbed on a table, claimed she was an Egyptian queen, shouted that Jaime he was 'coming home with her tonight.' and then, started doing a macarana, Grease Lightning mashup dance."

He heard Phoebe's voice begin to lightly echo in his mind, replaying an old conversation from Rhonda's Halloween party. One he'd forgotten about entirely. But one that made him bolt upright into a groggy stance.

What if she were so distraught she tried to take hipster James Bond home with her!? Looking for a dread—gasp—rebound.

Oh no. Nope! Over his dead body!

Arnold roughly yanked his suitcase onto the bed and began rooting through it's innards for a party outfit.

His Uber driver pulled up the long driveway, cars parked everywhere there was a spot and people flocking by the dozens through the grass and up the sides towards the house. There had to be hundreds of people there! The man finally pulled his vehicle to a stop and said, "Well, here we are, kid."

Arnold could barely hear him from the fact that his heart was suddenly hammering in his ears. He looked at the older guy and nodded, "Thanks."

"Good luck."

"Yeah…" Arnold absently said as he slowly exited the car and began to flock with the rest of the horde that was headed towards the mansion. When he got closer to the house, he noticed that their was an absurd amount of furniture out in the front lawn area. Not just thrown out, but neatly placed with people sitting on it as it were suppose to be that way.

Once inside it got even more bizarre to him. A good chunk of the front of the house had be depleted of all home decor and replaced with…road attire. Street signs, traffic lights, cones…even an entire car!

He'd be curious to know how they even got that thing in there. As mesmerized as ever by his surroundings, he found himself in the fast moving line for beer, and before he could even ask, he was immediately fisted a red solo cup sloshing with some much needed liquid courage for that night. "Thanks," He yelled over the music before walking away, putting the cup to his lips.

He walked around for a little while, staring at a bunch of people he didn't know and finishing off his beer. No sign of Helga. At least the tunes were good. His nerves were feeling much better, but the inner urge for him to go seek another dose of frothy courage to calm his jitters temporarily thwarted his hunt for her.

Helga strutted down stairs well after the party had gotten started and swarms of people had already began to flood the house. She didn't immediately spot her two friends around. Not that it mattered. She wasn't the type that needed to cling to anybody all night to have a good time.

She knew one thing, if she were going to loosen up for the night, she needed to get some brew-ha-ha's rolling in her veins. A rare assessment from her, but that was just the way it was going to have to be that night. With that, she strolled over to one keg station and fought the urge to ask for two, realizing that double fisting beer would just look ridiculous.

Unless she was dressed for a nascar party—that was for another time.

She took her single solo cup, turning and rubbing smack dab into the young lad of the Watson manor. "Alright bucko, you almost caused me to spill my precious liquid here," She teased.

Jaime looked down at her, eyes slightly rolling as he smirked, "Hmm…so I assume your outfit has something to do with my sister's yellow plaid tragedy?" He pointed to her as she stepped out of his way so he could grab a beer.

Helga rolled her eyes, "Please tell me you've seen clueless."

"Like once," He replied, grabbing his cup.

"We're from that. And judging by your oversized Pendleton sweater, pajama pants and sandals I'd say you're…what? The Big Lebowski?"

"The dude abides," He confirmed. The pair then slowly inched their way away from the keg stand, realizing they were in other people's way. Once moved, Jaime took a sip of his beer and asked, "How are you doing these days?"

Helga shrugged and diverted her eyes to looking out over the room, "Eh, okay I guess." Jaime was smart enough to take that as, 'I don't want to talk about it' and didn't ask any further questions. He knew why she was back, but absolutely no details on the matter. He supposed it wasn't his business anyway though.

Before he could change the subject though, the DJ flipped it to 'Faded' by Soul Decision. He'd always rather liked that song, finding it to be very sexy in a modern way for the late 90s. With brightened eyes, he looked back down at her, "Care to dance?"

Helga snorted, "Sure, why not." She actually kind of liked that song too.

Jaime grabbed one of her hands and tugged her further out into the swell of patrons, "But no macarana, yeah?" He teased.

"Ha…ha."

At the same time Arnold hadn't been too long come away with his second beer. The song flipped and he himself found the odd urge to jive a little. God…party rocker Arnold was wanting to come out already. But he was more focused than that. As he kept casually looking around at all the people, walking from room to room, he was beginning to wonder—more like hope—that maybe Helga had decided to skip.

Maybe she hadn't been in the mood and had decided to call it a night and was tucked in bed upstairs, binge watching some crap on Netflix.

But that was not what was happening. Because as he shifted around, his eyes landed squarely on the profile of a dancing Helga…

…and Jaime. Who was mouthing every single word of the song.

Dancing together? No. Just…no.

Him mouthing the words to a song that was about a guy taking a girl home? Too much.

Arnold…sort of saw red for a moment.

Last thing he was going to let happen was for hipster James bond to get his fancy little, probably well manicured, claws into his girl. He inhaled through his gritted teeth before downing the remainder of his beer, tossing the cup as he stalked towards the pair. "Hey buddy, that's enough," Arnold pushed him slightly back with the rough shove of his palm.

"Whoa, mate!"

Helga spun around, "What the—Oh my God!" She blanched, "What the hell are you doing here!?" She shouted over the music at Arnold. How was he there?! How?! Arnold never removed his eyes from the dude standing in front of him, puffing himself to make his chest and arms look more menacing. Jaime had about an inch of height on him, but he was certain he could take him without a problem. 'Cause weight lifting class, bro. Yet, Jaime seemed un-phased by the show, just staring at him, giving him a very condescending smile before putting one hand in his pocket like the smooth guy he was.

It made Arnold's blood boil.

"You think I'm funny? I will mess you up!" He suddenly found himself saying as he began jabbing his finger at the older guy. In the back of his mind, behind the panicked anger, he was shocked that he had just threatened to harm somebody. Actually threatened somebody injury. He'd never threatened bodily injury to anybody in his entire life. Over a girl none the less! Then again, it wasn't just any girl, and he'd never been hopelessly in love and staring straight at the competition before either.

"Or you can leave before I have you escorted out," Jaime coolly replied, still not appearing flustered by the exchange in the slightest, despite knowing that he wasn't suppose to be there.

But Arnold's mouth just kept opening...and opening, "We can take this outside, how about that?" And the guy hadn't even done anything to him either!

"Enough!" Helga finally asserted, "You! Outside!" Yanking a hold of Arnold's arm she began dragging him off through the crowd of people in the house. Well, at least she was taking him away and…not Jaime. She pulled him out the front door, down the steps and into the yard before snatching her hand away and throwing her cup on the ground, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Arnold held his hands out as if he were telling her to slow down, "Look, I know it's weird but—"

Helga huffed, "—and just when I think you can't possibly have any more audacity…really?! Not weird? You flew two-thousand freakin' miles," She began hurdling her anger at him with a jabbing finger. "I don't know! I guess you thi-"

"-because I needed to talk to you!" He shouted back, "And you blocked me, and you refuse to turn on your phone!"

"Um, yeah! It's generally what people do when they no longer want someone contacting them! Get a hint!"

Arnold shook his head, turning the tops of his hands under in a pleading manner. This was going badly. All because he couldn't control his jealousy. And well…it was strange that he'd showed up right then. He would admit to that. "You need to listen to me. Those texts weren't me, Helga. They weren't! They were entirely a scheme by Lila."

She snorted, laughing sardonically, "Oh come on! At least try to come up with a believable lie. I know she hates me, but nobody is that low! Nobody goes through that much trouble!"

"Yes! She was that low, and yes she did create something this elaborate," He desperately explained, waving his arms out wide. However, Helga was having none of it, absolutely none of it, showing as much with the aggressive roll of her eyes and the frustrated sweep of her hand over and through the top of her curled hair.

"Look, Arnold, I get it," She snapped, "We had our fling. And I get that that was your plan all along, but it's still jacked up, and honestly? Of all people, I expected a little better from you. You could have at least had the courtesy to break up with me first. You had the decency to break it off with Lila, but I don't know, I guess you couldn't be bothered by that technicality the second time around."

"Helga..."

"But you know what? You did a fantastic job at pretending like I meant something more though, I'll give you credit for your acting." Arnold sighed, and closed his eyes. Why, why, why wouldn't she just believe him?! She was answering her own freaking questions! She was just too blinded by the hurt to see it, "And for whatever reason, you felt the need to fly all the way here and act like a fool! Who does that?!"

"Oh, would you just shut the fuck up and listen to yourself for a moment!?" Arnold finally broke and barked back at her. She immediately snapping her mouth shut, completely caught of guard by his outburst, "Who does this? Who comes all this way to get his girlfriend? Seriously? You really want to know who does this? A fool in love! That's who!" He said it. He finally said it. Or rather, shouted it at her, practically. There couldn't be a worse time or way to drop that nugget of info, but he risked losing her forever if he didn't. He wasn't sure that she loved him back, and...honestly it didn't really matter to him if she didn't. But, he knew that she cared enough about him to have been deeply heartbroken by his perceived slight. Or else she wouldn't have left, wouldn't have blocked him and wouldn't have been standing there, hurling insecurities at him.

Helga had been locked and loaded with a couple generic snappy comebacks for anything she had expected him to say. Especially since he had told her to shut up. But what she got was anything but what she'd been expecting. She felt her firmly creased brow suddenly smooth as the flame of her anger withered to a petite ember. "What?"

I'm sorry, what did he just say?

Shut up and listen.

Her boy swallowed hard and took a micro step towards her, "I'm in love with you. I am. I've been in love with you since that Iration concert. Maybe a little longer...I don't know, but it's not important right now," He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, "She was stealing my phone during my weight lifting class, and loading it up with back and forth texts with Jordan," Shaking his head, he laughed with bitterness lacing his voice, "And poor Jordan went along, because she...thought Rhonda had okayed it," He dropped his arm back to his waist, and stuck the phone back into his pocket, "All of which, Jordan admitted to Rhonda," Arnold sighed. "If you don't believe me, you can ask Phoebe,…heck...you can call the whole gang because we...kind of had an intervention with Lila. And they all paid for a super nice hotel for me out here because they knew I was going to come and get you, one way or another."

By then neither of them realized that a small crowd had started gathering on the large porch, "I want you to know something, okay? Lila, doesn't matter. Jordan doesn't matter. No other girl in Hillwood or...on the planet matters to me. Because I'm in love with the girl who I can actually be myself with, who...encourages it, who...we always have a good time no matter what we do..."

He started smiling a little more at that point, unable to really curb it, "Who would...share custody of a squirrel, and a bat with me and...sing me the Fresh Prince of Bell Air until I fall asleep when I'm drunk..." He started giggling quietly, "Whose dog will probably never like me and who's my best friend." He took a small breath, "I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up in tangles with you every morning. I want to have stupid nothing fights and hot makeups, and a million and a half more wacky dates, and I don't really care at this point where life takes me as long as…as long as I can be with you the entire time."

Helga remained quiet, unable to say anything as she stared at him, knowing full well that what he was telling her was the truth. As much as she still didn't understand what was going on, or what had fully happened, she knew that by him coming there, he was being honest with her. She was willing to let her stubborn self see that, and surprisingly, very clearly.

And he loved her. He loved her. He cursed so you know it's true!

Lord Jesus in heaven she had waited for that moment practically her entire life. This whole time she had been...running around, keeping her love a secret from him, assuming that there was absolutely no way he'd caught the bug, only for it to be all for naught.

Now she just felt stupid. Stupid for not having listened to him to begin with. Stupid for having the knee jerk reaction to leave him without at least hearing him out. Stupid for having—

—Alright self hate later. Just tell him you're in love with him too. Sheesh.

Arnold was so desperate for her to say something...anything that he felt like he was about to shatter apart into a million pieces. All he could hear, echoing in his ears was her saying how Jaime had been her safety blanket. And in his panic, he feared that she would make the choice to go back to him, especially after his earlier outburst, "Look I...I know I can't compete with him. I'm not loaded, or—"

"—Arnold," She cut him off.

"...yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay..." He nodded, sheepishly glancing down, assuming that, that was it.

Helga licked her lips before inhaling, heart absolutely hammering, "You need to listen to me and you need to listen very well…" The blonde boy across from her gloomily nodded, his shoulders already sinking in heartbroken despair. He'd tried. He'd tried his hardest but there it cam—

"I…I love you too."

All he could do was blink for moment. Surely he couldn't have heard that right. Stupidly he asked, "Really?"

"Yeah." Arnold could barely contain himself, his newly widened eyes showing as much, "A lot, actually. It's...probably borderline unhealthy," She further confessed.

"Yeah...mine too," He smirked, "If you…can't tell."

Helga chuckled quietly. She could tell. And he was just as nuts as she was, "It's why I left. I...couldn't handle you...doing something so awful, because I am...literally that in love with you. It broke my heart."

Arnold gave into what had been his natural urge to gravitate his person towards her, coolly closing the distance between the two, "And I'm too in love with you to have ever done something so terrible as what Lila did." Helga could only smile at that.

What. A. Night.

Her boy couldn't take it anymore. He finally reached out and pulled her towards him, and she went, letting herself get wrapped into his bear arms, her hands jumping to his head, running through his blonde tresses as he caught her lips for a long overdue kiss that radiated with relief, "I should have trusted you," She finally admitted between the rabid assault on each other's lips.

"I understand how it must have looked, but you know me."

"I know."

"I would never mess around..." He trailed off before giving her a knowing little grin, his lips still tracing hers, "Without you."

Helga sucked in a deep breath while gripping him a little tighter, suddenly very turned on. Too turned on for the spot they were in, "God I want to lick you skin off," She growled against his lips.

Arnold ran his hands down her, "Ugh…every inch, please," Bending his knees, he attempted to hoist her up to carry away—to where he didn't yet know— but she pulled up, he stepped forward and his foot clipped a sprinkler head, sending the pair tumbling forward onto the ground, however doing absolutely nothing to pop the bubble they were in.

Teegan sighed, staring at the re-united love story happening out on the lawn in front of her house, "I need to find a guy like that. One that would fly across the country just to say what could have been said in a voicemail, or a long text, or a Facebook message, or even a snap-chap or—sweet Fanny Adams! They are practically about to shag in my front yard!"

Jaime crossed his arms and shook his head, "Someone should say something," He chuckled.

Next to him, Nikki downed her solo cup beer and threw it behind her, "Hey! You two get a room, or I'm coming down there, and joining in!" She started walking down the porch steps, and over to the couple. Jaime took his leave and resumed the party inside. Teegan watched the exchange between Nikki, Helga, and Arnold before Nikki began returning to the porch, wearing a bewildered look.

"Did you manage to frighten them with a three way?" Teegan asked as she observed the couple slowly getting off the ground to presumably go elsewhere.

"Well..." Nikki began, still a little shocked, "They said not right now, but maybe later."

Teegan's right eyebrow slowly lifted as she looked back out into the yard, seeing her friend stumbling off into the long driveway with her boy in tow, "Bunch of frea-" She stopped and waved them off, "Let who is without sin cast the first...eh, whatever," turning she began walking back inside.

"Where are we going?" Arnold asked as Helga towed him down the driveway lined with the dozens of parked cars.

She spun around, pulling him towards her with their conjoined hand, "To find some place a little more…private," She pushed up on her toes and kissed him.

"Well, I know that, but…" He paused, choosing to get a little wrapped up with her mouth before he grabbed her butt and heaved her up so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, "Couldn't we just…go to your room?"

"Too cliche, Bro man," He kept haphazardly walking, neither really paying attention to where they were stumbling to until, "Ow!" Helga pulled her face away from his to look over her shoulder to see what he'd run her into. A car. But—as she got a better look,—not just any car. One eyebrow jumped deviously high on her forehead, to the complete obliviousness of Arnold as he had taken to working on a spot right below her ear with his mouth, "Actually, jackpot…" She pushed away from him, dropping her legs to the ground and, went to test the handle of the back driver's door.

Arnold sighed but with a loving chuckle mixed in it, "Let me guess. You want me to pick a car lock now?"

Unfortunately—or maybe fortunately in that situation—nobody would be breaking into anything that night, because the dang thing was unlocked, "Oh—really?!" Helga mused incredulously, not even hearing what he had said, "You make this too easy, Noodleman."

"Who?"

Helga turned back to him, smirking as she snaked her arms back around his neck, "Don't worry about it. Long standing feud. Probably til the end of times." She then kissed him hard.

"Whatever you say," Arnold replied in a rumble of a moan, his eye lids slumping, "Now…I'm going to B & E that body."

"Jesus, I love you," She swooned as he pushed them into the back seat.

Some time later.

Claire Noodleman walked away from the keg area, solo cup refilled as she went to rejoin the group of girls she was hanging with for the rest of the night. Right as she rejoined the conversation, she felt her phone vibrate from her back pocket. She reached around and retrieved it, swiping into the text to see that she had a couple photos…

"What the…?" The girls eyes bugged wide at the sight of the most unholy of images before she inhaled and shouted, "Pataki!"

The girls standing next to her jumped from their conversation and looked at their friend, "What's the matter?" Claire thrust her phone into view for all of them to see, their eyes popping as well, "Is that your car?"

"Yes!"

One girl snorted before taking a sip of her drink, "Oh that's jacked up."

Wednesday.

If it hadn't been for the pre-planned fishing trip Arnold had committed to with his grandpa and the other boarding house men, the coming weekend, he probably would have stayed in Virginia for a little longer. It wasn't all that bad once he got to know her other friends. Even Jaime. What with the universe being right again in his eyes all too. But he couldn't bail on Phil last minute. And seeing as he and Helga scoffed at the idea of spending that amount of distance apart from each other at that point in time, she flew back to Hillwood with him, promising to catch up with her friends in the near future.

Saturday.

And so that's where Helga found herself that afternoon, laying on her sister's couch, shoveling some potato chips into her mouth while watching some sort of haunted trinket show, as Arnold was about 45 minutes up the mountains, fly fishing for trout.

She and Phoebe did have plans to catch a bite and a movie sometime later that day, though the details hadn't been solidly hammered out yet. She certainly wasn't expecting guests, and nor were Olga and Owen. That she imaged anyway. They weren't home. Yet the doorbell was ringing. She assumed it was somebody trying to sell something, whether it be pest control, or soul redemption, she wasn't budging off the couch to tell them to bugger off.

But it rang again, which meant…somebody must have though she or at least her sister—whose car was left in the driveway—were home. "Alright…alright!" She begrudgingly heaved her lazy body off of the sofa and marched across to the front door, ducking her eye through the peep hole to see…

…the last person she ever expected to see. Much less on her door step.

Sighing, she wrenched the door open and peered, rather rudely, at her uninvited guest, "What?"

Lila tightly smiled, baring no teeth in a show that suggested that she wasn't the most comfortable about being there either. "Hi…Helga," She began rather nervously, "Can…can we talk?"

It was Helga's gut desire to just slam the door in the girls face, after all, there was no love lost between them at that point, but she had a sneaking suspicion of why she was there—Arnold had filled her in on the kidnapping, abate briefly. So instead, she sighed and stepped to the side a bit while gesturing to the living room, "Sure…"

The redhead nodded, and Helga could have swore she heard the girl gulp as she stepped inside of the house. She wasn't sure as to what she'd done to inspire such fear all of a sudden, but…she'd take it.

Lila walked over and sat on the side of the couch that was without the soda, chips and crumbs everywhere, and Helga resumed her spot amongst all that.

"I um…I came to apologize to you about…what I did," Lila began to explain, rubbing the palms of her hands on her knees, as they'd become clammy from nerves.

"I figured as much…"

"I don't know what all Arnold told you about…what all happened while you were gone…"

"He told me a little bit, but I'm sure he glossed over a lot," Helga shrugged, "He said they kidnapped you," She snorted slightly, "To to hand it to the gang…"

Lila nodded, "I was indeed, kidnapped," She paused for a second before clearing her throat, "Look, I haven't exactly been myself for…a few years now…"

"I'll say."

"And I'm not going to sit here and go into why right now, because I know that, at this point, you don't really care."

Helga raised her eyebrows and nodded, "True, true…I don't."

"But I did a very rotten thing to you and Arnold. Partially because I was oh so angry that he 'tossed me'," She air quoted, "Even though that really wasn't the case and…well, if we're being honest, because I was jealous that you two were happy together, even though I had convinced myself that…it was just a dumb phase, and would eventually careen into a ball of fire."

"Hm, yeah I do recall you calling me a girl the you'd call for a good time."

"I know. That was mean and uncalled for. Please trust me when I say that I now understand how much you mean to him and he means to you, and I am sorry for trying to intervene in it."

"I get it," Helga turned to the girl and nodded, "And I do believe that you are sorry. I mean…you came to my house to say it. I very well could have kicked your butt in. I let you off easy the first time, but I'm a wild card after all," She offered up a tiny smile.

Lila lightly snorted, reciprocating her own tiny smile, "Yeah…and um…how about we…just agree from now on to…stay out of each other's hair?"

"Best plan you've had yet."

"Awesome," Lila nodded before an awkward sort of silence crept up between the two. Before it could get too weird, she inhaled and made to stand up, "Well, it's probably best that I…get out of your hair now."

Helga stood up a little quickly, crossing her arms, "Uh, yeah…this is a good time to start doing so, I guess."

While Lila was making for the door, she stopped and spun around, suddenly remembering that she had one more thing to tell—and give—Helga before she left, "Oh, also," She started digging into her back pocket, "You and Arnold will need these for our trip," She withdrew to fake IDs and placed them in Helga's surprised hands.

The blonde chuckled as she looked at her's and Arnold's new plastic. They looked just like their regular license, but with a date that suggested they were of age to drink, "She couldn't get Von-Papagiorgio huh? So we're still invited I take it."

"Absolutely."

Vegas - MGM Hotel - One Month Later

The entire gang stood in the lobby area bar, mingling in the time they had before the show started at the park theatre. Lady Gaga. Rhonda had insisted that it was the most fabulous way to start off their epic long weekend, and a round of tickets had been purchased. One trip improvement Helga had managed to make, was to include Nikki, Teegan—and Jaime at Gerald's insistence—into the adventure. It was time that one gang met the other, because she knew they would get along just fine.

Arnold stood at the crowded bar, trying to flag down one of the over worked bartenders for a couple of drinks for he and Helga, when Jaime walked up behind him and leaned into the elegant wood surface. "I take it it'll be a minute, yeah?" He smiled.

The blonde looked over and nodded, "It seems like it." He wasn't sure when the boy had arrived, knowing that he hadn't checked in with the rest of them that morning. His assumption was that he'd probably landed a helicopter on the roof of the building or something overly dramatic crap like that.

No sooner than Arnold had said it, one of the bartenders swooped up and asked, "What can I get you guys?"

"A gin and tonic, and a shock top," Arnold requested. The man then looked at Jaime with a pointed index finger.

"Do you know how to make a gin fizz?"

"Yes sir. I'll have those up in a short bit."

Arnold smiled before looking back at his former foe, "I guess you're where Helga acquired her taste for gin," He commented.

The older boy simply shrugged, "I think that's about the only liquor she's ever liked," He explained before spinning around on the stool, leaning back and propping his elbow in the bar top in order to take survey of the crowd hanging out in the lobby.

"So, I know it's a little late at this point but, I don't think I ever fully apologized to you for…trying to fight you at that party," Arnold said.

Jaime shrugged as he chuckled before turning his head to the blonde and smirking, "No worries, mate."

"Are you sure? Because I feel kind of like a tool still. That's really not who I am. I just want you to know that," He went on.

"Nah, I get it. Again, no worries," Jaime assured before turning his attention back to the crowd, where his eye suddenly caught a certain somebody that peeked his visual interest. "Hey you don't happen to know who that redhead over there is do you? Is she with your group?"

Arnold turned and followed his eyes over to where…"Yeah…" He told him as one of his eyebrows crept a little higher, "That's Lila…why?"

Jaime smirked, "I may have to go chat her up a bit. Is she the approachable type?"

"Here you are sir," The bartender sat the gin fizz and beer down before turning his attention to Arnold, "We'll have your gin and tonic up shortly sir, we're out of limes and the kitchen should have some up to us in a few minutes."

Arnold nodded before looking back at Jaime very skeptically. Jaime smiled and waved him off as he took his drink, "I'm not being creepy or anything. She just caught my eye is all."

"I know," Arnold replied. He knew the guy wasn't that way. Helga wouldn't have tolerated him if he had been, so that made him okay in his book in that regard. "She's nice…and single."

Taking a sip of his gin fizz, the brit spun back around on the bar stool, "Well then, bombs away," He held the drink up to Arnold before stepping off the stool.

Off to the side of Arnold, and completely obviously to him, Rhonda, and Teegan—who had become fast pals in just a few hours— had just been bought and handed drinks by a group of bro douches at a table across the room. Gin and tonics that they considered super suspect, and wouldn't be putting anywhere near their mouths.

"Such creepers," Rhonda seethed as she stared across the room at the men before rolling her eyes, "Let me have that," She asked for Teegan's.

"By all means," She replied as she handed the glass over to her new friend.

Rhonda stepped over to the bar and placed the two glasses down as if they were toxic waste before making a 'shooing' motion with her hands, "Bartender throw these away, please darling."

Arnold smirked at Jaime as he made to leave the stool, "Good luck man," Was all he could think to say as he watched him smoothly stroll across the room and appeared to introduce himself to Lila.

He watched that interaction for a few seconds before turning back to the bar and noticing what looked like the gin and tonic he was missing sitting fairly close to his beer. Rhonda had long since disappeared by then and he went with his assumption that at least one of those drinks was meant for him, and so he grabbed it and his beer and stepped off the stool.

Before he took a sip of his beer, he eyeballed the gin and tonic, having never had one and took a sip, smacking it in his mouth before shrugging, "Not bad," He said before walking off to find Helga.

The drink tasted fine to him...but it was anything but.

The next morning.

Her eyes fluttered open, sometime later, completely unsure of where she was or…heck what time it even was. It was only slightly better than the puddle of drool on the bed spread her face was shoved in, and none of it explained why she felt like she had a building sitting on her back. That was until she felt a hot puff of breath on her neck that some of puzzle pieces slowly clicked. First, that building was obviously another human. Second, she was face down in a large bed. Finally she managed to cut an eye around to take a confirming glimpse. What a predicament she found. Arnold was lying on top of her, naked, which wasn't saying much because she herself was sporting nothing but her birthday suit. One of his arms was wound underneath her, hand tucked rather precariously between her thighs where her legs met, clearly having been after her goodies. It succeeded in only confirming her other—slightly embarrassing—conclusion that she'd come to: they'd passed out while having sex.

Or something close.

Of course, she couldn't be totally sure, because she had absolutely zero memory of the night prior. Which was strange to her. The few times she'd been super drunk in her life, she'd never been completely blank of any memory what so ever. This was a mystery. Mustering all the strength she could, she pushed up and rolled Arnold off of her. He flopped to the side with a tired, slightly pained groan, tossing his arm over his eyes. It was then that Helga took notice of the handcuffs dangling from his wrist. Blinking at that, she sat up, head spinning from the sudden change in blood flow. They were both covered with enough glitter to fill a dump truck, the room was trashed and for some reason she was wearing an Egyptian headband with a cobra crest. Not to mention the bizarre stinging on her left ring finger and—now that she thought about it—the bottom of her foot too.

Helga brought her hand to her face, examining it through her sleep encrusted eyes, realizing, to her horror, that it was a tattoo of what appeared to be…

…a ring!

"Arnold…" Her other hand autonomously shot out and swatted his body.

He jumped, "Mmm…what happened last night?" He murmured, still very groggy.

"I think I got a tattoo."

Arnold peeked a blood shot eye from underneath his arm, "Whoa…" He mused tiredly. After a moment he slowly pulled himself up against the headboard, dropping his head into his hands and sitting like that until he heard Helga gasp again.

"You've got one too." She pulled his left hand away from his face. Sure enough, he had a black band tattooed on his left ring finger too.

"Why…why would we do that?" He asked slowly in a growl of a morning voice.

Helga gently shook her head before leaning over the bed and grabbing the first garment her fingers came in contact with—his button up shirt—and slid into it with a hasty, uneven button up job. It was then that she noticed her boy's jeans draped over the headboard decided to pull them down in search of more clues to last night.

"I don't remember a thing," Arnold said.

"Me either."

"Hey, you've got Egyptian make-up." He nodded to her with a tired smirk.

She was sure she did have some crazy make-up right then, but they had more important things to figure out, "The last thing I remember was walking to the theater."

Lethargically, Arnold grabbed his pants from her and dug a hand into its pocket, stopping when he finally noticed, for the first time, that there were handcuffs on his wrist. "I don't even want to know how I got these."

Helga shrugged, "I do," Arnold gave the cuffs one last look before diving back into his pants pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded about a million times to snugly fit in his jeans. "Where do you think you got those?" She reached up and pulled a special pair of sunglasses out of his wild and untamed hair. When she flipped them over, she noticed that the two square lenses were LCD screens, flashing the words 'Pop,' and 'Culture.'

"Um…Helga…"

Helga looked up to see Arnold staring awestruck at his tattoo, clutching the deeply creased paper in his other hand. "We um…we got married," He hesitantly announced.

Well…that escalated quickly.

Married? Married?

As in, bound by law to each other?

What universe had she fallen into?

How did they even pull off such a thing?

Really? You're Las Vegas…

Her mouth bobbed open and closed a few times before she held her hand up and looked at her own tattoo for a moment. Arnold tilted the paper in her direction and said, "Marriage certificate." And then sighed, "Grandma and Grandpa are going to kill me."

"Owen is never going to let me hear the end of this," Helga quietly grumbled. When Arnold gave her a funny look she sighed, "Olga is going to flip."

"Why would we get tattoos instead of rings?"

When Helga didn't immediately respond, he began slowly reading the marriage document. "I don't know," His girlfriend—wife!—finally grumbled and grabbed the pants from him, pulling out the contents of his other pocket and nearly blanching at what she found, "Oh God…we had sex in a photo booth," She said, holding up the photo strip, her face recoiling a bit in disgust.

"Amazingly, not our biggest problem right now," Arnold turned to her, "Oh, good Lord…" He blanched, seeing the incriminating photo strip she was holding. His eyes peeled down the five different blocks, taking stock of the two of them in the throes of dirty passion, but more intrigued by their attire, which had consisted of an Indiana Jones hat, the strange Pop Culture sunglasses, a tuxedo jacket and some leather pants for him and Helga looked like a sexy Cleopatra. "Although, we have been wanting to try that..." Helga deadpanned him in response, "And...I feel like there might be warrants for our arrest now."

"I feel like we may be banned from Vegas forever," She shoved the photo strip back in his pocket before sliding off of the bed, "We've got to figure out what's going—ow!"

"What?" Arnold sat up when he saw her pull her foot up, holding it as if something had stung her, "What's wrong?"

Helga heaved her leg up onto her lap, "I don't…oh my gawd."

"What?"

"You aren't going to believe this...or maybe you will, all things considering," She scooted around and held up the bottom of her right foot for him to see…his name. Arnold gasped at the black letters styled in what looked exactly like his handwriting.

"Is that real?"

"I don't know! Probably!" She looked back down at her...most definitely foot tattoo.

Arnold hurriedly pulled his right foot up for inspection and gasped again before showing it to her. Her name was written in the same black lettering only, she clearly recognized it as her own handwriting. "It's like some toy story fever dream!"

Sighing deeply, Helga rubbed her temples and closed her eyes to think for a moment, "Okay…so we blacked out…even though…" She trailed off, pausing to consider the strangest thing about the whole ordeal, "Even though neither one of us is that hung over."

"Yeah…" Arnold realized it himself. She was right, "I feel like I drank a little bit but…I don't feel like I'm on death's door step or anything. And I've never blacked out in my life...from drinking anyway."

Helga glanced over to him, "Me either. I bet we took some drugs."

"I don't know how that would have happened," Arnold countered, but quickly back pedaled when he saw Helga giving him a 'seriously?' look, "So...maybe it wouldn't be the first time we've ingested strange substances that caused crazy, unexplained events to occur."

"Like getting hitched, getting matching tattoos and ending up dressed like we ransacked a Planet Hollywood?"

"Yeah, exactly," Arnold nodded while rubbing the back of his neck. He's eyes then glanced up and around the room before freezing, "Also…I don't think this is our room. At least not the one we checked into."

Helga looked around herself, "Crap…" He was right.

They then locked eyes with one another, "We've got to get out of here," They both said in unison before hastily getting out of bed.

"Ow…that stings a little bit," Arnold looked over the bed at her, as he limped around on his foot a bit.

"I know!" She agreed as she hurriedly looked for her pants…or some pants. Any pants! The pair managed to get dressed as fast as they could locate garments and slip their tired, sore bodies into them.

Once dressed they slipped out of the unknown room and into the hallway, looking each way for an arrow pointing towards the elevator. They found the lift around the corner and took it down to the lobby, recognizing that they were indeed in a completely different hotel than the MGM that they were suppose to be staying at.

The lobby was big, and their were welcome signs for people arriving for some sort of week long poker tournaments. Helga and Arnold walked across and out the front doors, intending to walk to the strip and hail a cab back to their proper hotel. As soon as they stepped out the doors they were waved at by the young man sitting at the valet desk. "Good morning Mr. Shortman!"

Arnold had no idea who this man was or why he seemed to know him so well, "Uh…good morning!" He played along, not wanting to be rude.

"Headed out for breakfast?"

"Um…yes, we are."

"Very good. I'll bring your car around."

"C-car?"

"Yes şır," The young man then frowned, "Unless you two were planning to walk someplace close."

Arnold looked at Helga and shrugged, before looking back at the boy who was probably older than he was, "The car will be fine."

For the next few minutes, the two waited to see what other shenanigans they had whipped up last night. Both of their jaws dropping when another man pulled to the curb in a shinny new red sports car, giving them the look that suggested that it was their car.

"Merlin's beard we have really outdone ourselves this time, Bro man."

Arnold gulped but smiled convincingly at the two men, "Thanks…uh…" He reached in his pocket and grabbed his wallet, giving each of them a ten spot, "Which way is the MGM?"

"Take a right, four blocks down."

"Thanks," He said, before getting in the driver's seat. Helga had already slipped in and was busy reading a packet of paper that had been left on the seat. "Alright, I guess we just…drive away now," He said, looking nervously in the rear-view mirror.

"So...apparently you entered into a poker championship," She tilted her head at him. "And won this car."

"I what?"

"I didn't even know you played poker, Bro man," She drawled, rather impressed by his skill. And a little turned on.

"I don't…"

"Hm, weird."

They then looked in the back seat, looking for anymore surprises and…indeed seeing something that one would consider a little on the strange side. A violin case. Helga heaved her upper body between the two front seats and grabbed it, pulling it onto her lap and unlatching it. Inside was a golden fiddle with a note, laid atop and inscribed with the most beautiful cursive that one had ever seen.

"Your fiddle skills are sinfully good. Signed 'D'," Helga read it aloud. "Who's D?"

"Who plays the fiddle?" Arnold asked as he put the car in drive.

"I mean…I have been known to dabble…"

"Dabble?"

Helga shrugged, "Everybody has had a weird night..."

They arrived at their hotel a few minutes later, sent their car off to the valet and headed to the elevator, intending to hit the restaurant on the roof for some much needed breakfast.

As they stepped onto the lift, that didn't even notice their herd of friends—who had been frantically searching for them all morning—spot them across the lobby and begin stampeding towards them. Before they could press any bottoms, a litany of hands thrust between the shutting doors and they finally saw the relieved faces of everybody.

"It's them! They're alive!" Harold hollered back as the rest of the gang closed in.

"Oh thank God." Rhonda sighed in relief, "I was not ready for the Dateline special for this."

"Where we're you guys?!" Sid asked.

"No idea," Helga yawned, "Whole night was a black out."

"Do you guys mind if we catch up with you in a little bit?" Arnold then asked, "We've got to get some food in our stomachs."

"Yeah, sure. Glad you guys are okay."

"Us too. See you all in a little bit."

Their friends let the door close before turning and looking at one another. "Were those Lady Gaga's pop culture glasses on Arnold's head?" Sheena asked.

"Yep."

"Cray-cray."

Arnold and Helga were on their way up when they got stopped on their floor, by somebody apparently wanting to go up as well. Fine. It wasn't like they could stop it. When the doors open, it was the last people the expected. To be wanting to get on.

Together at that.

On the other side of the parted doors were none other, than Jaime and Lila, standing close, looking tired, but happy at the same time. "Wow…" Helga mused with a bit of a snort, "This is awkward."

Jaime snorted as well, his cheeks tinging a little with some red, "Eh…we'll catch the next one."

The pair finally made their way to the bistro, got a table, got a round of mimosas ordered and proceeded to flip through the menu for some much needed grub. Everything looked good. Especially when one was starving.

"So…I think this kind of…warrants a conversation."

"Which part?" Helga chuckled, "We have so many things that warrant conversation."

Arnold chortled as he shut his menu, having found what he wanted to eat, "Assuming that, it's not already null and void, because I'm sure we used our fake IDs. Do…" He began drumming his fingers nervously, and licked his lips, "Do you want to stay married or…?"

Helga looked up her lashes at him before sitting back in her chair a bit, running her tongue over the inside of her cheek for a moment, "Well…"

A/N: Smash cut to black with, "let's get a party going, let's get a party going." from Andrew W.K's "Party Hard" blaring in. Yikes I'm showing my age. Lol. If all the old pop-culture references haven't made that super obvious by now.

Will they stay married? Will her parents ever return? Will Sheena ever make 'cray-cray' happen? Will the mysterious 'D' ever be known?

Find out here: "The Adventures of Shelga and Bro Man Dude."

Also: I have a new comedy uploaded called: "Thirty"

Those links are in my About Me. I would have linked them here but I couldn't remember if FF would consider it spam or not, so I didn't take the chance.