Pairings: Emma/August

Rating: M (weird, kinky sexytimes)

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Once Upon a Time

A/N: I have no idea what this is. My tumblr wife and I shouldn't be allowed to prompt each other. But we still will. Forever. I'm so so sorry if this scars anyone for life.

"August!" Bursting blindly into the dimly lit room, Emma froze as her best friend looked up from his typewriter. He was here, he was alive. She'd saved him after all.

"Emma?" He leapt out of the chair and moved quickly to wrap his arms around her. "How did you get back? When did you get back?"

"Does it matter? I came as soon as they told me you were awake." His embrace was stiff and slightly uncomfortable, but all she could register was the fact that he wasn't comatose on the bed. Only when her lips pressed against his did it become glaringly obvious that something was not entirely right.

She pulled away with her eyebrows knit together and studied his form. The wood grain ran vertically; each knot and ring beautifully laid out against the contours of his perfect face. "August, you're still… but why?"

"I take it they left that part out," he said with as much of a frown that a puppet could muster.

"Well… I may have run off before they had the chance to tell me." She looked up sheepishly, with the hint of a smile curling on the edge of her lips.

"Does it bother you?" He asked, backing her against the door.

"No." She sighed and brought her hands up to stroke his smooth, varnished face. "I'm just so happy you're alive."

"Me too."

She pressed her lips against the carefully crafted wood and realized how insane it all was – though he wasn't exactly an inanimate object, he wasn't entirely human, either. But as his whittled body pressed her more firmly against the door, she found herself lost in him once again.

August inserted a knee between her legs, moving it against her, providing friction where she needed it most. His stiff fingers explored her body and Emma welcomed his cool and inhuman touch – just because he was made of wood didn't mean he wasn't able to send shivers down her spine, though it was certainly a poor substitute for the real thing.

"Oh god, I missed you so much."

"Really?" Replied August playfully against her lips. "I hardly noticed you were gone."

Emma felt something hard press against her thigh.

"Actually, I must say it's been nice without you around, I've actually been able to get some work done."

The pressure against her leg increased as he spoke. Could his little lies be responsible?

"Lie to me again," she gasped as his hands moved over her breasts, thumbing her hardened nipples as he stroked through her bra.

"You want me to what?"

"Lie to me. Say anything."

"Um… my favorite color is orange."

She felt the pressure increase and reached between them to unbuckle his belt. "More!" Her lips were all over his face, frantic and desperate. She willed the wood to awaken beneath her kisses, but something seemed to be holding it back.

"Emma, what are you doing?"

She reached under his waistband and slid her hand into his boxer-briefs. Why a wooden man even bothered with underwear to begin with was a mystery to Emma, but she had more important things to worry about at the present. She skimmed her fingers along the glossy swell that formed and cried out, "I said lie to me!"

"Okay, geeze… I grew up in Antarctica."

She felt him grow again in her hand. "Don't you feel that?"

"No… I mean… I feel pressure, but that's about it. What are you—"

Pushing him backwards toward the bed, Emma released him to fumble with his thermal shirt before pulling it over his head. She ran her hands over his perfectly sculpted body; every sinew and muscle appeared as perfectly life-like as if he were skin and bone, right up to the defined tendons in his neck. She shoved him down and began to remove her clothes.

"Wait, are you serious? You know I'm made of—"

"Yeah, wood. I got it. Now shut up and take your pants off before I take them off for you."

August didn't need to be told twice, as strange as the request was, and Emma crawled on top of him, positioning herself over the protrusion.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Absolutely." She lowered herself around him, gasping as the rigid timber stretched and filled her.

Sliding his hands up her bare thighs, August could have sworn he sensed warmth spread through his fingertips, but without the fairy dust the dwarves were searching for in the mines, he knew it would be impossible. Still, the longer she rode him, and the more skin his fingers desperately stroked, the greater the warmth seemed to spread.

"August…" Emma panted, "you're changing!" She took his hands and wove her fingers between his, holding them up to watch the wood slowly dissolve into skin.

Overcome with the suddenness of it all, August sat up and took Emma's face in his human hands and kissed her ardently, feeling the warmth spread through his lips and cheeks, gasping as his face finally regained its humanity. Emma welcomed his tongue into her mouth only for a moment before forcing him back with a lustful glint in her eyes.

"Now, let's see what else I can magically return to flesh."

She moved quickly and steadily around him, accepting him deeper with each downward thrust. As she drew closer to release, she could feel the cool, hard member inside her convert to a warm, silky rigidness she so desired.

August felt a small jolt of electricity ricochet through his body as she cried out, throwing her head back in ecstasy as she came. After riding out her aftershocks, she fell forward onto his chest, now fully flesh, now fully human.

Emma could scarcely believe the day she had; after fighting off an ogre, bursting through a magic mirror in Mr. Gold's shop, and reuniting with her family for the second time… the last thing she'd expected to do was transform her best friend back from a puppet by seducing him. But as her fingers made lazy circles through the hair on his chest while August flexed his hands and kissed the top of her head, she was more than content for having done it.

Their reverie, however, was short-lived as the door crashed open.

"August, did you hear? Emma's ba— Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!" Ruby took a step out of the room and faux-covered her eyes while August whipped the blanket up to cover anything of Emma that might be exposed. "I just… oh, you're human! How'd you manage that?"

Emma exchanged a red-faced look with August.

"Well… um… Emma, you see, she…"

"Wow, color me impressed! I wish I'd thought of giving that a try." Ruby gave Emma an coy wink and turned to leave. "I'll just leave you both to it… later!"

Emma groaned in embarrassment. "Does she burst into your room a lot?"

"Probably more often than she should."

"Should I be jealous?"

"Of Ruby? Please." August stuck his tongue out in mock repulsion. "Besides, before you broke the curse, I don't think I could have made it any clearer that I only have eyes for you."

Emma's face reddened again and she craned her neck up to kiss him.

"Maybe you should try making it clear to me one more time."

"Are you sure you don't need to get back to everyone?"

"Nah, they'll be fine for now. Plus, we really ought to break in your new body… make sure everything works properly." She kissed him again and moved her hand between them to grasp him once more. This time, August gasped against her touch and seized her hips, flipping her back as he rolled on top of her.

"Oh so you can feel that now?"

Responding with a growl, August bit her lower lip and reached into the side table for a condom. "I can feel everything now… and I'm going to make love to you until you can't."

He entered her with an equal sense of urgency and tenderness, taking his time to build her up slowly and brought her to higher heights than Emma thought possible. She felt utterly consumed under the warmth of his body, the soft strokes of his hands across every exposed inch of skin, and his pliable lips pressing hungrily against her mouth and throat. His confidence was certainly well founded, and as he lead her toward another overwhelming swell of bliss, Emma realized that when August said 'make love,' it wasn't just a euphemism.

As she lay contented in his arms, Emma wondered how it was that she could have transformed him. Certainly it had something to do with the magic she'd slowly been getting comfortable with having, but it also must've been something more than that. She grinned as August stroked her sweat-soaked hair and feathered kisses up her neck and jaw. It had been clear to her for a long time that August was interested in more than just friendship, not to mention she knew now that he was fated to be her protector, her beacon of light through a dark and confusing world.

Reluctantly, she rolled away from him and sat up. "I should probably go see what's happening in the real world." She stood and stooped to pick up the pile of discarded clothes, sorting them out and redressing along the way.

"I'll come with." He stood and pulled on his clothes alongside her.

When they were ready to head out, Emma paused in the doorway and turned to smile at him. "Listen, before I get sucked into a portal again, I just think you should know… I love you."

Gripping the sides of her face, he kissed her with fervor. "I love you, too. I've loved you for so long."

"I know," she choked out between kisses, "and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You don't ever need to be sorry." He pulled her waist close with one hand and cradled her head with the other. "We're together now, that's all that matters."

"We are." She wrapped her arms around his waist and breathed in deeply, knowing that returning to Storybrooke was just the beginning of a whole new set of problems, but with August by her side, she felt strong enough to be able to face them.