Why It Wouldn't Work

Katniss walked through the market in District 4. She was visiting her mother with Peeta on that moment. But, that husband of hers was baking at her mother's house. So, she decided to go to the market instead of staying there since she tended to ruin the cookies Peeta usually made.

Katniss was choosing some plants that she thought could be added to some dishes she could make at home later. Suddenly, a shadow was standing besides her saying her name. Katniss froze. That voice. Familiar, but she had not heard for a long time.

Katniss straightened her body and turned her head slowly. She met the familiar grey eyes which could be mistaken as her families. That familiar face smiled in front of her.

"Hey, Catnip," that person said looking happy seeing her. That person, who a long time ago she called her best friend. Gale Hawthorne.

Seeing that smile, Katniss couldn't help it but smiled back. "Hey, Gale. I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you were staying at District 2," Katniss said with normal voice.

Gale seemed relief hearing her tone. There was no anger or hatred in her tone. "I have a house at District 2. But I usually travel around the Districts and the Capitol to oversee the rebuilding of the defensive facilities," he explained. "What about you? I didn't know that you live here," he asked Katniss back.

Katniss smiled a little and shook her head. "I don't live here. I'm just visiting my mother. She has been helping the rebuilding of the hospital here," she explained back.

Gale nodded his head. "Yeah. I heard about that. Do you live in Twelve then? That's what I heard about you," he commented.

Katniss nodded. "Yeah," she mumbled.

Gale smiled. "What about getting a coffee with an old friend?" he offered.

Katniss accepted that offer and followed him to one of the coffee shop near the market.

Gale looked at her finger once they settled on one of the booth with a cup of coffee for each of them. "So, you married Peeta?" he asked noticing the ring on her ring finger.

Katniss glanced at her ring before nodding her head. "Yeah," she said smiling.

Gale didn't say anything for a moment. He was just looking at her face. Then he sighed with a wry smile on his face. "Are you happy, Catnip?" he asked softly. There was sad tone in his voice.

Katniss sighed. She didn't like situation like this. She was not angry with Gale anymore. But, she was over him now. She didn't want to be stuck with the past. She just wanted to move on. "Yeah. I'm happy," she answered carefully.

Gale smiled, but it more looked like a grimace from Katniss' eyes. "I'm glad that you're happy, Catnip," his words were not more than whisper. There was something genuine in his voice, but there was some regrets too that Katniss could hear.

"Are you happy, Gale?" Katniss asked back carefully. She was over him, but he had been her best friend one time ago. She still wanted him to be happy.

This time Gale really grimaced hearing her question. He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not unhappy. But I can't say I'm happy either," he answered with a sad expression in his face and voice. "I guess I'm still not over you," he admitted later.

Katniss shook her head. "You should move on, Gale. I don't want you to be unhappy or stuck with the past," she said trying to give him advice.

Gale snorted. "I can't help it, Catnip. I will always be wondering what would happen if that bomb didn't explode and Prim.."

"We still wouldn't be together, Gale," Katniss cut of his words. She didn't want to talk about Prim. She had tried to get over her sister's death with Peeta's help. But it still hurt sometimes to talk about her like this. Especially with Gale.

Gale frowned hearing her words and her tone. "Why? How do you know that? Because of Peeta?" he asked wryly.

Katniss didn't say anything for a moment. "It's not just about Peeta. It's because we are too different in the end, Gale," she said slowly.

"What do you mean we're too different? We practically grew up together. We had been through many things together. Even in the rebellion, we were always together. Why did you say we're too different?" Gale asked, practically demanded an explanation.

"We had different vision, Gale. Still have, actually," Katniss answered.

"I still don' get it," Gale said looking slightly frustrated. "We're in the rebellion together. We worked together. We fought The Capitol together. What was so different about us that made you so sure that we wouldn't be together?"

"Because we had different reason being in the rebellion," Katniss answered simply.

"What?" Gale asked with disbelief expression.

"I helped the rebellion; I accepted the mockingjay position because I was so tired with the misery that The Capitol caused. Because I didn't want The Hunger Games anymore," Katniss tried to explain.

"Neither did I. I helped the rebellion because of those reasons too," Gale said quickly, cutting of her explanation.

"Yes. But you also helped because you were angry with The Capitol too," Katniss said adding her explanation.

"And you weren't?" Gale asked with skeptical expression.

"Yes. I was angry with them too. And I hated what they did. But, I helped the rebellion because I wanted to stop The Capitol. I know you did too. But, you also wanted revenge. Right?" Katniss asked slowly.

Gale tried to guess where Katniss' explanation would go. He didn't answer her question for a while. "Yeah. So?" he asked again, still didn't get Katniss' reason.

Katniss sighed. She looked a little frustrated explaining it to Gale. "Gale, you created that bomb," she said softly with sad expression.

Gale groaned. "So, it's about Prim, right?" he asked with frustration so clear in his voice.

"No," Katniss objected immediately. "It's not just about Prim," she added sadly. "Even though Prim is alive and she didn't die because of that explosion, you still created that bomb, Gale." Katniss stopped waiting for Gale to say something, but he didn't say anything. "You created that bomb because you wanted revenge to The Capitol. You created that bomb because you wanted to kill The Capitol people," she continued.

Gale still didn't say anything. He just looked at Katniss with confusion on his face.

"Don't you get it? I helped the rebellion because I didn't want any deaths anymore. Yes, I hated The Capitol people because what they had done. Yes, I wanted to kill Snow. But, I didn't want to kill The Capitol people. I didn't even want to kill The Peacekeepers. I just wanted them to stop what they had been doing. I just wanted to stop the deaths," she explained with sad expression. Katniss took a breath for a moment. "You know, when you showed me your plan of the bomb, I suddenly realized that we were different. You wanted to explode not only the peacekeepers, but also the medics and people who wanted to help after the explosion. That's just.. that's just cruel, Gale," Katniss said carefully. She didn't want to hurt Gale, but she had to say that.

Gale flinched hearing the last word that Katniss said. "And you also can't forgive me because of Prim," Gale added full of regrets.

"Actually, I've forgiven you about Prim. It still hurts to talk or think about her, but I have been trying to get over her death," Katniss said slowly. "Peeta helped me through that a lot," she added, glancing at her ring again.

Gale snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure of that," he said with sarcasm.

Katniss narrowed her eyes hearing Gale's tone. She didn't like that. "What do you have against Peeta?" she demanded.

Gale rolled his eyes. "He took advantage of you. You were sad and there was no one to comfort you. So he took the chance to be with you when you needed someone," he said with angry voice. "If only I could be with you.."

"No," Katniss cut of his words again. "Peeta didn't take advantage of me. Yes, he helped me a lot when there was no one to help me. But, I'm with Peeta, not just because he's there when I need someone. I'm with Peeta because I want to be with Peeta. I really love him. We understand each other, Gale."

Gale snorted again. "How can you understand each other? The last time I met him, he was still trying to kill you." He sneered.

"Yeah, but that was not his fault," Katniss said immediately. "Don't you get it? He was broken because of The Capitol. We were both broken. He understood my feeling. That was why we can be together. We helped each other. We healed each other. We need each other," Katniss said without looking at Gale. She took a breath before looking at Gale again.

"He's a lucky a guy," Gale muttered.

"Lucky?" Katniss spat the word looking angry at Gale. "What do you mean lucky? He lost everything in the war. He lost his family. He didn't have anything after the war. You're the one who's lucky. At least, you still have your family."

"But I lost you," Gale said half-yelling. "To him," he hissed sourly.

Katniss shook her head sadly. "You didn't lose me to him, Gale. Even though Peeta didn't survive the war, even though Prim didn't die in that explosion, we still wouldn't be together, Gale," she said sadly.

"What?" Gale asked looking really shocked.

"If in the Quarter Quell Peeta died," Katniss cringed when she said it. She couldn't even imagine it. "And if Prim is still alive, I don't think that we can make it work," said Katniss.

"How do you know that?" Gale asked looking disbelief.

"Because you changed at the war. Because I changed at the games," Katniss answered. "I was changed the moment I set the foot at the arena on The 74th Hunger Games. I looked at lives in the different way you looked at lives. Like I said, I wanted to stop the deaths, but you created the bomb to kill The Capitol people."

"Just because of that?" Gale demanded.

"I didn't want to kill people anymore. The only people I wanted to kill was Snow. Yes, I killed Coin. But, that was because I was unstable after Prim died. And somehow I realized that Coin was the one who killed Prim. I was sick of deaths, Gale. I'm sick of watching people die. No matter who they are. The Games changed me, Gale. And only Peeta understand that."

"You changed because of Peeta," Gale accussed.

"No. I changed because of The Games," Katniss denied. "After The 74th Hunger Games, you just saw me when we were hunting or when I had to pretend that I was together with Peeta. You didn't see me when I was so miserable because of The Games."

"Because you never gave me chance to see that," Gale reasoned.

"You still wouldn't understand," Katniss insisted. "You weren't in the arena, Gale. I had nightmares because of The Games. You didn't have the patience to put up with me."

"How could you know that? You never gave me the chance to try," Gale said stubbornly.

"Gale, do you remember that you said to me once that The Games wouldn't be too different from hunting? You would still think like that because you were never in the arena. Once I stepped in the arena, I suddenly realized that I really had to kill people. I was practically just a child, and people that I had to kill were just children themselves. We were forced to kill each other even though we were just children. Do you remember Cato? He was the last tribute before Peeta and me," Katniss asked and Gale nodded. "Do you know why I killed him?" she asked again.

"Because you had to?" Gale guessed weakly.

"No, I didn't have to. He would be dead anyway. The mutts would kill him. I didn't kill him because I wanted to win The Games. I didn't even kill him because I wanted to get out of the arena as soon as I could. I killed him because I couldn't let him be tortured like that. No one deserved to die slowly and cruelly like that. Not even Cato," Katniss explained. "I'm sick of seeing people die. But, you're not," she added.

"What do you mean? Do you really think that I'm that cruel?"

"No. It's not that. I didn't mean that you actually killing people. But, you're still working with District 2, Gale. Don't you see? You work with weapons. Even though, they're not exactly killing people, you still work in that environment."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"After the war, I just wanted to... to.. crawl to bed and sleep. I just want the peace and safe and comfortable place. That was why I came back to Twelve. But, you still want to be out there and devoted your life for things like that," Katniss explained looking at Gale. "I understand why you didn't want to come back to Twelve. But, you still could go to Eleven, if you also want the peace like me. There are woods in Eleven. It would feel almost like home there. But, you didn't go there. Instead, you went to District 2."

Gale didn't say anything to this.

"If there is no Peeta and if Prim is still alive, you might've come back with me to Twelve. We might've been together after the war. But, it wouldn't last. Because, you wouldn't be happy in Twelve. Twelve was not enough for you anymore. You would've wanted to go to The Capitol or other bigger districts. I, on the other hand, wouldn't want to leave Twelve anymore," Katniss said. "So, you see, Gale, we wouldn't be together. Or at least, we wouldn't be happy together. The only way we had a chance to be together if I never went to The Games at all."

Gale looked pensive and didn't say anything for a while. "Maybe you're right," he muttered weakly.

Katniss smiled a little. She reached his hand and patted it a few times. Gale looked at her hand before looking up to see her face. "You should move on, Gale. You had chosen this type of life. And you should enjoy it as much as I enjoy my life," she said still smiling before standing up and leave that place. Right now, she really wanted to come home to Peeta and be in his arms again.

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