Disclaimer: I don't own it.

I was going to edit it. Then I didn't. De-anoning from the Kink-Meme. But don't be alarmed, this is kid friendly.

America was annoyed. He had invited Australia and New Zealand over to hang out for a week, but had been turned down by Australia. It was weird. Australia never turned him down. New Zealand might, but never Australia. Worse he would not say why he would not come. He just became evasive and made up a really lame excuse which America could not be bothered to remember.

It was frustrating, but New Zealand was still coming so maybe he would know something. This week was going to be lame, because without Australia it was just going to be him, New Zealand and Canada hanging out, and they usually tried to ignore him.

Maybe they could stalk Australia!

When New Zealand and Canada arrived at America's house it was to find utter chaos. There were sticky notes and photographs tacked all over the room. The subject of all of these was one particular southern nation. America had clearly dug deep into himself to pull out the qualities of the conspiracy nut jobs. It was creepy.

Add this to the fact that America had promised to pick them up from the airport, New Zealand was somewhat aggravated. "What the hell is this?! You blew us off to build a shrine to that stupid yobbo?!"

"Guys! Guess what! I've decided what we're doing this week!"

Canada and New Zealand shared a look. With much trepidation Canada looked at America. " What?"

"We're going to stalk Australia!"

They shared another look. This was going to be terribly bad or terribly funny. New Zealand, his anger leaving him, decided to be brave. "Why are we stalking Australia?"

America seemed to get more excited once he was invited to wax lyrical about his fantastical idea. "He's been acting very suspicious lately. Think about it. He got that weird phone call during the APEC meeting. I was listening in and he sounded really tense. " He pointedly ignored their exclamations of outrage at him eavesdropping. "He kept muttering and pacing. He also kept glancing around as if he didn't want anyone to hear or see him. Anyway I asked him about it later and he wouldn't say anything at all. Just that suddenly he couldn't make it this week. Something's up."

New Zealand and Canada shared another look. America had finally cracked it. Canada made the decision then and there to try and stay as out of the way as possible. A truly Herculean feat.

"Why are you getting us involved?"

"C'mon, New Zealand, it'll be fun. Besides, you know Australia better than anyone. Do you know where he is or what he's doing?"

"Listen, you Yank. Just because we're neighbours doesn't mean we tell each other everything."

"Yeah, but... you were staying together in the same hotel. I just thought you might have seen or heard something. That's all."

New Zealand sighed. It was true he had seen something. He thought for a minute. It could be fun to ruin Australia's day... "Well, I did see one thing. He was looking at plane tickets to Europe. I don't know anything beyond that, though."

"That's brilliant. Europe. What could he be doing there?" America was silent for a minute. Suddenly, he gasped. "You don't think he and England are doing something without us, do you?"

Canada sighed. America was still incredibly insecure when it came to England.

"Nah. He usually tells me if he's going to Mum's house. This is something different."

"What do we do, eh?"

"Well, I thought it was obvious. We're going to Europe!" As though to punctuate that exclamation, America pulled out his laptop, and immediately brought up the necessary websites.

Canada groaned. New Zealand kept his face a mask. One way or another, this was going to be interesting.

I've been told that the term "Yank" can be offensive. Apparently, this is because not all of you consider yourselves to be "Yanks." Australians and New Zealanders do consider you all to be Yanks. Please don't take offense. You're all now probably wondering why I left it in if I know it's offensive. That's because it's in character. Anyway, see you next time.