Prism Omake #1

by Ranma1517730129

Part 1

    

       "My parents died of consumption, I was sold into slavery, and then I had to be raised by Hiko...Pity me!" Shinta batted his eyelashes at Tae.

       "Ummm, okay, but you still have to pay for that yakisoba." Tae wandered off.

       The other two Kenshins glared at their younger counterpart. "Shinta. How was that supposed to help?" They glared at each other, because it was annoying when people finished your sentences, let alone began them with you.

       "You can't blame a guy for trying. Sano never pays for his food! He's not as cute as me either." Shinta smiled.

       "It didn't work on the fish woman." Battousai snarled.

       "Or the mochi sales girl..." Rurouni sighed.

       "Or the tofu man at the market!" Battousai exclaimed.

       "So why would it work now?" They both ended together again, earning each other another set of comfortable glares.

       "Losing my touch?" Shinta asked them both.

       "No, it's just that Tae found out about all of this from Yahiko. So everyone already knows you're me." Rurouni looked at the younger version of himself. "Besides, your eyes when you do that flutter thing...?"

       "Yeah?" Shinta looked hopeful.

       "They're creepy..." Battousai finished.

       "Creepy?" Shinta looked disappointed. "Not cute?"

       "No." They returned back

       "Why not?"

       "Your eyes, they're too old for your face." Battousai pointed at his eyes and narrowed them.

       "In other words creepy." Rurouni pointed at Battousai who still had his eyes fiercely slitted.

       "Oh." Shinta stared at the tatami under himself.

       "Well, I guess we could always go by the candy stand. She has a crush on me." Rurouni rolled his eyes as he said this.

       Battousai and Shinta looked over at Rurouni. "Have you lost our mind?!? Kaoru would kill you. Remember what she referred to Suki-dono as?" Shinta intoned.

       "Tramp!"

       "Harlet!"

       "Strumpet!" Shinta finished. He looked at them and they broke into laughter.

       "Okay, that word coming out of your mouth is ridiculous." Battousai chuckled.

       "Would it ruin the image to say those sorts of things?"

        "Yes."

       "Definitely."

       "I don't even say those sorts of things now." Rurouni said looking around innocently.

       "You do too!" Battousai exclaimed.

       "Yes, but only to you two."

       "Yes, you would never call Suki-dono a tramp out loud. Or behind her back!!!" Shinta shifted his eyes over to Battousai and then jerked his head toward the aisle where Suki was standing with her hands on her hips and glaring at Rurouni.

       "Of course not. But Kaoru wouldn't get mad if it weren't so shameless. 'Oh hello Kenshin-san, would you like a free sample?'" His voice was done in a high squeaky falsetto.

       "Ummmm.....Rurouni-san..." Shinta warned.      

       "Rurouni..." Battousai shook his head and glared.

       "Don't worry! It won't happen again!" Suddenly the shabu shabu bowl was on the elder Kenshin's head. "How could you even say such things in front of a child and an impressionable young man!?!" She stalked away.

        Both younger Kenshin's burst into gales of laughter.

       "That's one girl that Kaoru won't have to worry over for us." Shinta smiled jovially at the hot-pot-covered Kenshin.

       "You and you, will both pay for this." Rurouni snarled. "Vengeance will be mine."

       And so it began.

~*~

Omake #2

       "This is all your fault you know." Battousai stared up at the ceiling.

       "Hmmmm?" Rurouni looked over at the younger version of himself with the negative personality. "How can you say that?" His look became a glare to match the Battousai. "YOU are the rash one! You're the one who decided, "Hey, even though it's someone I can't recognize as either sane or good we'll just go on into the dojo and confront this guy...ALONE!" He stopped his glare and looked away. "Now look at us. We're a living freak show. This way to the Kenshin, that way to the egress." At this he waved his arm in the air from left to right listlessly. "It's times like this I always wish that I'd paid more attention to what Shishou told me..."

       "Don't look at me. I wasn't paying any more attention than you were." Battousai continued to stare at the ceiling. "I bet Shinta knows everything but he isn't saying anything because he wants us to come to some earth shattering conclusion about our split personalities...The only conclusion I've come to so far is that you're both annoying. Oh, and that my left knee doesn't creak, and my right thumb isn't always sore, and I don't think she'd ever say so out loud but Kaoru thinks I'm sexy. It's that whole element of danger thing."

       "That's not true! Kaoru is sweet, and she'd never be interested in someone like you...Well I guess you are good looking, but you don't have my rugged, weathered, distinguished good looks."

       "Listen to mister twenty-seven. Big deal, you've got wrinkles and bunions. I've got stamina." He raised his eyebrows. "Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink."

       "What's that supposed to mean?" Rurouni bit back. "You got laid all of, oh let me try to remember...hmm...ONCE?!? And it wasn't like you were some kind of sex god. As I remember it you were like, "Oh my god I touched her boob! Now what?"

       At this the Battousai blushed madly. "Fine, I'll give you that...but I'm married now."

       "You were married then," intoned Rurouni.

       "Kaoru isn't such a cold prude!"

       "Yeah..." Kenshin and Battousai sighed together.

       "Remember Thursday?" Rurouni looked over at Battousai.

       "I would remember Thursday if the world ended tomorrow." The Battousai let a wide grin spread across his face. "I could never have sex again for the rest of my life sustained on Thursday." Kenshin smiled at Kenshin. "See, we do agree with...some things."

       "We have to become ourselves, I mean we have to become us, I mean we have to be an I again." Rurouni stumbled seriously. "For Kaoru."

       "For Thursday." Battousai agreed.

       "Do you really think this is my fault?" Rurouni looked at the younger man and waited for his reply.

       "What? Us being split up like this? No, I think the blame rests solely with Yanagi. Why do you ask?" Battousai sat up and looked inquiringly at the older man with his face.

       "Because you said..." Rurouni sat up and matched the Battousai.

       "No, I said this—" here Battousai pointed back and fourth between him and the other him "—is all you fault. At least between the two of us someone should be sleeping with Kaoru. I'd like to think one of us should be getting something out of this."

       "Yeah..." They both sighed and then tried to get some sleep.

***

      

As a cricket chirruped into the night, two doors down Shinta giggled lightly into his covers //Ah, but one of us is...// and he pressed his face snugglingly into Kaoru's chest.

       "Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered.

       "Yes?" Shinta smiled up at his wife.

       "Stop that..."

       "Yes dear."

      

~*~

Omake # 3

"Kaoru?" Kenshin looked around the corner of the dojo for his wife.

        

       Yahiko walked over to the addled older man. "Hey Kenshin! What's up?"

       "I have been looking for Kaoru but she doesn't seem to be here. I am getting a little worried." Kenshin shook his head and smiled at the young man. "On second thought...I'm sure she's just fine. No one on this earth would have such bad luck."

       "Oi, Kenshin, look who I found!" Sano walked through the gates to the dojo with Kaoru.

       "See?" Kenshin and Yahiko shared a smile.

       "Kenshin!" Kaoru ran across the expanse of the grounds and threw her arms around her husband. "I found the most perfect fabric and I'm so happy today! I just woke up in the best mood! Well, at least since 'Thursday'." She made little quote signs in the air with her hands. "For some reason I've just been bubbly, and I don't even think Yahiko could bother me."

       "Busu..."

       "See?" She smiled.

       "This is a good thing right?" Sano looked between them worriedly.

       At that moment two identical Kaorus walked through the gates of the Kamiya Dojo. Six more walked around from behind them and two exited through the shoji next to him. Kenshin passed out.