T/N: Hi again everybody, I'm finally updating, yay! so I just wanted to say I don't know how pharmacies work on japan but for this chapter let's pretend that they work as described here. Anyway hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed translating it, have fun...

When you find yourself lying on a beach lounger next to a swimming pool, it's usually a time in which you tend to think about random things that make no sense, things like, what would happen if I had tree ears and five hands? But when you're next to Hayate Yagami, who practically has an answer for anything, and after talking for hours, a question hit me:

"Hayate, do you think I'm gay?"

Now, one would expect an answer like "Yes" or "No"; perhaps a questioning look, but you never expect your friend to burst into laughter and then, after calming down, to tell you:

"Fate-chan, you're the most asexual person I know."

Mission: Discovery of sexuality… with Hayate.

Ah, the summer, heat and vacations, there's no season with more events going on than summer; of course, some prefer winter because you can stay home and do tons of things behind closed doors, but during summer, emotions are on a manipulable roller coaster, so every tsundere trainer uses this time of year to get their targets and love interests to get some action.

In my case, it's slightly different, even though I have been going to Midori-ya every Sunday with my army of tsundere trainers to use my coupons, I have no love interest to use, so I have spent that time teaching the children about how everything works, while enjoying free cake. Nanoha's family doesn't seem to mind my constant visits, they wholeheartedly believe I'm an angel from heaven because I take care of twelve orphan children, plus Vivio has them in the palm of her hand due to her C.C.A. manipulations that she projects by default and Nanoha's dad doesn't mind embarrassing his daughter, with a little help.

For example, last time, while talking with Mr. Shotgun Dad, I got the great idea of saying "Wow, it sure looks like you're a very close family, but I don't know much about Nanoha's childhood," to which he offered to show me the photo album; I hadn't even answered when Nanoha jumped in like mad to prevent her dad from committing such an act; but he ignored her completely and showed me everything with a big smile, all the way from a naked baby Nanoha in the bathtub, passing through the typical four year girl who wets her bed, and ending with the many costumes and outfits that our parents always make us wear when we're kids. My mother-in-law accompanied the exhibition by telling embarrassing stories with each picture, ignoring practically every complaint of her daughter who just wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out.

I just smiled at each photo and said "So cute! It makes me want to hug her!", obviously I didn't , but that simple sentence was enough for Nanoha to want to kill me.

But as I said, many unexpected things happen during summer, and I don't know if this is some sort of punishment for teasing my tsundere with the pregnancy test thing last chapter, but on a Tuesday like any other, as I was leaving with Arf to do some exercise, and had just opened the door, when Chrono's seventh girlfriend, better known as Amy, showed up all red-eyed and tired looking, scaring the hell out me because I mistook her for a zombie.

She didn't even say hi or anything, she just hugged me and started crying inconsolably clinging to my clothes as if her life depended on it. It crossed my mind that perhaps she had broken up with Chrono, but eliminated the idea instantly. Just a little while ago they seemed extremely happy together.

With the crying girl all over me, I dragged her all the way to the living room, sat her down on the sofa, where Arf jumped on with the clear intention of cheering her up. When I managed to get her to let go of me, I went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She had me really worried, after all, Amy is my friend, Chrono's only girlfriend whose name I actually remember, and who both, my Mom and I, thought would be the last and would become part of the family.

"Did something happen with Chrono?" I asked once she had calmed down enough to listen to me. She shook her head, almost mildly offended that I could think such thing could happen.

"Things with Chrono-kun are fine, you know they're fine…" ok, excuse me for asking and worrying about you. "… it's just that… Fate-chan, you do know what happens to girls every month, right?" What kind of question is that?

"Umm, I don't know, they buy clothes… they get their period?" YAY! Hooray for the vaguest answers of all history!

"Right, and what happens when they get their period?" Aside from being horrible irritable all the time because you feel like someone is tearing your uterus with a fork?

"Their...um…" I'm not really sure how to answer that "endometrium falls?"

"Well, let's say that… my endometrium… hasn't fallen…" well, that isn't such a big de… no… that can't be…

"And…" God! I can't talk, it's as if a ball is stuck in my throat "… and… how long has it been… since your endometrium doesn't fall?"

"It should've fallen… a month ago." Oh god… oh no… what do I do now? What am I supposed to say to her?

"Have you d-done a… you know… test to see w-why your e-endometrium hasn't fallen?" I don't want to say the word, it won't be me who says that word.

"Not exactly…" What do you mean not exactly? Isn't that thing supposed to tell you in the blink of an eye if… there's… someone else? "… I did do it, but didn't have the courage to look at the result… so I threw it out the window…"

Slowly I sat down beside her, still looking to the front with my eyes wide opened thinking of what I'm supposed to say in this kind of situation. Amy kept her head down, stroking Arf with a trembling hand, and seemed like she would burst into tears at any moment. I had no idea how to comfort her, I wasn't exactly thinking at the moment; I was mentally cursing Chrono for not using protection when he tells me every day that I can't do anything until after ten years of dating…

"Does Chrono know?" she shook her head "Do your parents know?" another denial; don't tell me… "Am I the only one who knows?"

"Yes…" the girls answered with a voice so small that her old self seemed to be long gone.

I breathed deeply and ran my hands through my face; I don't know if Amy came here with the intention of telling me, but since she had trusted me enough to do it, it was obvious I had to help her in any way I could, and the first thing to do, was to make sure that the… endometrium wouldn't fall for another eight months.

"Amy, we need to go to the pharmacy," the girl looked up with fear and some confusion in her eyes, "maybe, your endometrium hasn't fallen for other… uh… pathological reasons…" I know it's the most stupid theory that someone has ever come up with, but god! I don't know what else to say to convince her! "So, one of those… tests… will help us rule out any diseases…"

"I can't" Don't star with that now!

"Amy… we have to…" use soft words Fate, the girls is in a delicate situation, don't yell at her.

"No! I'm not going! I refuse to go!" DON'T YELL FATE! THINK PEDAGOGICALLY! SOFT WORDS! SOFT WORDS!

"Amy, I won't force you to go," lie "but I need you to give me a reasonable justification"

"I… I'm sacred…" I'm not gonna start comforting and hugging girls whose endometrium hasn't fallen, I should just get done with this quickly and cowardly.

"Okay, tell you what: I'll go to the pharmacy and buy… the thing; but then you need to be a brave girl and do the test okay?" Amy nodded slowly and I was satisfied with that. I left the house in charge of the only being with functional brain cells at the moment – Arf – and made my way to the nearest pharmacy, not being able to stop thinking about how the hell I was going to tell Chrono without him getting a heart attack or respiratory arrest; it's not like I can just walk up to him and say: "Hey Chrono! Remember that time we went to the circus and a magician multiplied the pigeons with his magic wand? Well I just talked with Amy and guess what: you're a magician too!" No, he'll die if I tell him like that.

I arrived at the pharmacy where we usually buy most of our medications – I know that was a horrible idea, but I wasn't thinking – they weren't the cheapest, but they also didn't steal your money with amazingly high prices like other pharmacies. Luckily there weren't more than two people there, so I just grabbed my number and waited for my turn.

"Hey" said a voice from behind me, I turned around and oh surprise! It was my failed project Vita Wolkenritter.

"Vita, hi, how are you?" wait, why would the youngest of that family come precisely to this pharmacy, on this neighborhood, considering that technically they live on one of the small rural areas that are left in Japan?

"Shamal came home with some stupid bug from the clinic and passed it to all of us; Signum and I were walking by and decided to buy something for the headache" Ah, so they're sick, I better stay away! If they're contagious they could pass it to me and I could pass it to Amy, and that would be dangerous for her… umm… endometrium.

Vita took her number and sat next to me, we talked for a while about school stuff and how we were spending our vacations. I was also disappointed again at not completing her training… she would look perfect if she blushed every time she talks about how much she hates Hayate.

Finally they called my number. Almost at the same time the other pharmacist became available and called Vita, we were both at the counter and I said in a calm voice:

"I would like to buy a pregnancy test please." I'm a complete idiot.

I swear that at that moment the whole earth, except for a cat that was passing by, stood in complete silence. For three agonizing seconds I received Vita's incredulous look and the wide eyes of the pharmacists, until the one attending me started to slowly backed away disappearing among the shelves of medications. The implications of my words hit me like a pie in the face, my blood froze and I turned white, while my mind sent wave after wave of insults towards Amy, Chrono and the poor quality condom manufacturers.

"And what are you looking for, miss?" asked the other pharmacist once he recovered, looking at Vita with a forced smile.

Vita still had her mouth hanging open, her body as stiff as mine, with her hand holding her number outstretched towards the man on the other side of the counter. Without moving even an inch of her facial muscles, Vita turned around and left the pharmacy like a robot, still holding the paper in her outstretched hand.

Seconds later the person attending me returned with the test on hand. I barely found the motor coordination to pay and leave the pharmacy, but started running like crazy once I found myself on the street.

"And then, after five minutes, if two lines appear, it's positive…" I read the instructions.

"No, I can't , I don't wanna do it," oh no, that's not gonna happen; I just went through the most embarrassing experience of my whole young life; you're going to do that test even if it kills me.

"Amy, you have to do it, remember about the other diseases…"

"If you're so interested, you do it," But I'm not the one with the problem! My endometrium fell five days ago!

"Amy…" I said softly, but also with a light warning tone, "please, you promised to do it"

"I didn't promise anything, there's no contract that says I did." Amy is usually a nice girl, but when she wants, she can become the most stubborn person ever. And in a case like this, I can only try and treat her like a tsundere.

"Well, then I guess I should call Chrono and tell him that your endometrium hasn't fallen," Amy practically ran to the bathroom with the test in hand; I let out a short laugh of satisfaction and Arf just sighed.

Soon after, Chrono's seventh girlfriend came out with the test in her hands, sweating like a turkey in an oven and walking with short steps. She put the object on the living room table, and we stood there, watching that thermometer looking thing as if it was the eighth wonder of the world, waiting for five minutes to pass so we could know what would be the future of Amy's endometrium.

Four minutes and fifty-nine seconds later, when something had finally started to appear on the thing, my friend panicked, shouted a "NOOOO!" almost as magnificent as Luke Skywalker's, grabbed the test and threw it out the window.

As I watched in slow motion as my family's future went flying out the window, I prayed to every god that the thing was of good quality and would survive the fall from the fifteenth floor; or that it was of so bad quality that if it fell on someone's head, it wouldn't send them to the hospital.

The scene after the object disappeared from my view was something like this: Me, watching the window with my mouth closed and without a clear defined expression on my face; Amy, standing beside the table, still trying to recover from the panic attack, could barely control her breathing and trembling hands; and Arf, was sitting on the sofa, looking at the two of us with a face much like mine.

"You again?" asked the pharmacist.

I had scolded Amy for doing what she did with the pregnancy test, telling her a few things about her lack of responsibility and reminding her that I was doing all this for her; that I simply wanted to help her and that if she didn't let me do it, then she could always leave my house and go seek comfort from someone else. It was harsh and she cried for a whole hour after that, but at least it gave her back some stability and now she was willing to cooperate.

So I went, stupidly, to the same pharmacy to buy another test; and when I entered, the two pharmacists turned to look at me weirdly once again, but this time my brain and tongue were coordinated.

"Sir, first of all, whatever happens or doesn't happen in my life, is my problem," speaking like that to someone older than you in Japan, is almost as serious as breaking one of the first TSAB codes. "so, I beg you to mind your own business; second, there was a little mishap with the test and I need another one."

The pharmacist gave me a look of contempt and went to get my product. While I waited, I looked around without much interest; noting the different things that were sold in that place. Inevitably my eyes ended on the babies' items: rattles, diapers, Signum, food, powders…

"SIGNUM!" I yelled. What was she doing here?

"Testarossa, you don't have to yell, it annoys other people," Oh god! And I just asked for a… oh my god!

"W-what are you doing here?" keep your calm Fate, don't let her notice how nervous you are.

"I came to buy some medicine, Shamal infected us all and although Vita offered to come while I finished some errands. She ended up showing with nothing and looking worse than before." So my failed project didn't say anything about what happened. "Why are you here, Testarossa?" time to lie and save my ass, I'll fix things with Vita later.

"Here's your pregnancy test, miss" Damn pharmacists, showing up and talking at the most inappropriate times!

Signum looked at the pharmacist, then at me, then back at the guy, and finally looked at me again, opened her mouth and said nothing, closed it, ran a hand through her face and after a sigh, she gave me a serious look, grabbed me by the shoulder and said:

"I want you to know that you're not alone," What? "No matter what happens I'll be there for you, we'll get through this together and become a family," Wait! Time out! You're getting it all wrong! "Testarossa, no, Fate, I swear we'll find a way to make it all work, I promise nothing bad will happen to you." Signum! Stop talking! You're making it sound like a confession, damn it!

"Signum, wait, the test is not for me, it's for a friend." Unexpectedly, the girl hugged me and started stroking my hair.

"Yes Fate, it's for a friend, I know" You don't know anything!

After some struggling, Signum released me; I tried explaining the situation a thousand times – without saying Amy's name – but she didn't believe absolutely anything I said and went on with her speech about family and friendship. In the end she didn't buy anything either and when she got bored of talking, she turned to look at a nonexistent horizon, with watery eyes, and said in a very dramatic voice:

"Now I take my leave, Fate, I need to… think." I don't know if it was my imagination but I swear that when she was walking out, I heard a violin accompanying her dramatic moment.

"Here it is," Amy said, handing me the test, this time, it would be me who handles this thing, thereby preventing Chrono's girlfriend, currently in zombie mode, from destroying it.

Five minutes passed and we started to notice something on the paper, I approached Amy holding the device so that she could see this moment, we held out breaths, my stomach twisting, and even though I wasn't the one with the problem, I felt my endometrium falling.

And then, in a red color appeared, two lines, which meant… umm… wait, I forgot, let me check the instructions again; ok, according to this… Amy is undoubtedly and unmistakably pregnant.

When my friend saw the two lines of the cruel truth, her eyes started to fill with tears again and her body started to shook in frustration, until she clung to my neck – choking me in the process – and exploded into the most heartbreaking cries ever heard by a human being; it was mixture of anguish and agony that could make even the hardest of rocks cry. And the worst thing is that I've always sucked at comforting crying people, so I said the first thing that popped into my clouded mind.

"There, there, calm down" damn it, she's crying harder now "Listen, this test was the cheapest one they had, I'm sure it made a mistake." Not even I believe that "Why don't we check with other options?" Why oh Jesus, why didn't you stop me before I voiced that stupid idea?

And so, that's how I found myself on my way to the pharmacy once again. Pathetic, I know, it's obvious that there's no way around Amy's problem, and the story is getting repetitive, but I just can't help doing stupid things when I see someone crying. It's just like that time when we were thirteen and Suzuka started crying because her spoiled kitten got lost; I went missing for three days until I found the damn cat among a pile of trash. My mom developed a couple of nervous problems during that time and apparently a couple of fans ended up in the hospital with cardiac arrest. But that's not the point, the point is that I am now prepared for any eventuality:

First, I'm not going to the same pharmacy, I'll go to one that's further away and it's more expensive, but that should ensure me that no one from my neighborhood will show up while I make my purchase. Second, since my life is painfully cliché, it's most likely that even if I go to a pharmacy in Greenland, just at the very moment I say "pregnancy test" one of the two people I most want to NOT fall into a misunderstanding, will appear without warning. Who? You ask, well that would be Nanoha and Hayate. Why? well, Hayate simply because she's Hayate; and Nanoha… I don't know why, but just in case I guess; anyway, before leaving I spent five minutes meditating so that my brain was fully active, that way, if either of the two showed up, I would be able to explain the situation concretely and without mentioning Amy's name. And third but no least, I brought all my saving to buy all the pregnancy test possible and thus leave absolutely no doubt.

I quickly walked inside the pharmacy and went straight to the counter, looked at the woman attending and said without hesitation that I wanted to buy one of each pregnancy test they had; she looked at me to make sure I was being serious and when she saw that I wasn't joking, she went to get the things with a smile on her face. I loved not being recognized.

Now, this is the moment in which Murphy's laws applies to my cliché life and makes the least appropriate person appear in the least appropriate time; so I started looking everywhere, hoping to catch a glimpse of auburn hair or a pair of mischievous blue eyes, but what I saw walk through the glass door, was something much more worse than anything I could have planned.

"Fate, what are you doing here? Are you sick?" said a voice between worried and happy. I just stood there, rooted to the floor not saying a word; reliving again and again my worst nightmares, thinking that maybe the world never wanted me to be born, and that's why it punished me in such ways.

Because standing there, talking as she did every day, was Admiral Mother, Lindy Harlaown.

"You look very pale, you're not catching one of those summer colds, are you?" I'm sure that at that moment my soul left my body; I remember seeing myself as if I was another person, standing there, shaking like a pudding and my face completely white, the fear in my eyes, visible from miles away.

And when blood finally started to pump into my brain, when I was going to start giving my speech about how "a friend desperately need my help," the lady who had attended me appeared, left the five pregnancy tests on the counter and asked if I wanted to pay with cash or credit card.

My mother saw what I had planned on buying with disbelief and then looked at me, but I just couldn't hold her gaze. I blushed like an idiot unable to explain, and she didn't ask me anything either. When I finally got the courage to look at her, I saw her eyes glued to the pregnancy tests, and her expression, was simply overwhelming, the only word that could describe her face was "tragedy."

Mom left the pharmacy with her tragedy face without saying a word, I don't know which way she went when she got out my sight, but I hope she doesn't commit suicide or gets drunk; although it's me who wants to do that at that very moment.

When I returned home with Amy's tests, I didn't want to deal with anything anymore, and I simply collapsed on the sofa while my sister-in-law went to do her thing. And it's just that having Signum and Vita think badly of me was one thing, but having my mom, the person who I respect most in this world, think that I… that my endometrium hasn't fallen… damn it! None of this is my fault!

I turned on the TV to relax myself while watching something, oh! Perfect! The news, it would be nice to know that I'm not the only miserable one here… I can't believe I just thought that.

"We have just been informed that a driver lost control on Highway 84, initiating a pursue at full speed, we inform other drivers to be careful…" well, there goes some guy whose worse than me "it isn't known yet what triggered the driver, witnesses say that after letting out a yell, he accelerated without anyone else…" poor guy, he probably just received very bad news, maybe he's a father who just lost his child, or an indebted man who lost his home.

"Here they are," said Amy appearing again and leaving the tests on the table, after that she sat next to me and Arf jumped on her lap seeking to sooth the girl. "Did something happen?" she asked looking at the television.

"I think some guy is on a suicidal plan on the freeway."

"Poor guy…" she said stroking my dog.

In the news they showed more stories about murders, robberies, politics and other stuff that just served as a reminder that humanity was going from bad to worse. All the tests were ready with just a few seconds apart, but all of them, absolutely all of them, gave positive results. All we could do now was accept it and plan a way to explain everything to Chrono and my mother; because this matter had to be done with today, for Amy's sake and my honor.

"Our helicopter has reached the place where the pursue is taking place…" I turned my attention back to the story about the crazy suicidal guy, now they were showing images of a blue car that was moving at an incredibly fast speed, skillfully avoiding any sort of collision… that car looks familiar… "The police has identified the subject as officer Chrono Harlaown, who is also…" it can't be, they've got to be… OH MY GOD! Mom called Chrono! Mom had the great idea of calling Chrono!

"Chrono-kun knows the truth!" Amy yelled, standing up and throwing Arf on the floor in the process. "He probably thinks I cheated on him! And now he's coming at full speed to break up with me! He's going to leave me!" My friend grabbed one of the cushions on the sofa and brought it to her face. She started to cry and yell getting a panic attack again. Arf was frightened and started to bark, accompanying the stressful orchestra of doom that had been created.

As if things weren't bad enough, while I was trying to get the cushion away from Amy and silencing Arf at the same time, on the TV they showed how the car took an exit on the highway, which mean that Chrono was five minutes or so away from arriving… and that would not be pretty.

I needed to do something fast, it was obvious that Amy wasn't going to let go of the cushion any time soon, so with the cushion in her face I dragged her to my room and threw her on my bed so she could cry all she wanted, I shut the door, and the next thing I did was to grab Arf's ball and shove it into her mouth so she would shut up. Next was cleaning all traces of anything that could make Chrono turn into a caveman once he arrived, I grabbed all the pregnancy tests and hid them in the cabinet next to the cereal; I collected all of my friend's used tissues and threw them away. I ran non-stop between the bathroom and living room cleaning and tidying everything, and finally, all evidence hidden, I sat in the middle of the sofa and changed the channel to a documentary.

Now, pretend you're innocent… wait a minute, I don't have to pretend I'm innocent, I really didn't do anything!

Before I could ponder my responsibility in the matter, the door burst open, revealing my dear brother – and future father, even though he doesn't know yet – Chrono Harlaown, with his usually impeccable uniform now in horrible condition: shirt hanging loose, missing buttons, twisted tie and… is he drunk?

Chrono closed the door with difficulty; stumbling he got to the living room, dropped on the sofa and after taking a deep breath three time, and cleaning his sweat with his right hand, he said in a deep, menacing voice, that also sounded hurt and disappointed:

"Turn off the TV" I don't think I've ever pressed the remote buttons so fast.

"O-Onii-chan," I tried using the pet name that usually always worked, but all I got was Chrono's raised had begging me to stop.

"Please, don't say anything, Mom should be here any minute, we'll talk when we're all here." It's amazing how disappointed they are of me when the one who got himself into a place where he shouldn't have gotten himself into – literally – is someone else.

We waited in silence for a couple of minutes in which I seriously thought that Chrono was going to start crying; I couldn't believe that he got drunk so fast, or that he managed to get here without the police following him, or that he made it here in the first place. And all of this just to cover my drunken brother's girlfriend; this can't definitely last long, I won't say anything until Amy comes out of my room, but if she doesn't come out in the next thirty minutes, I'll drag her here by myself; even if I have to treat her like a puppet to make her talk, I don't care.

Mom finally arrived, also in deplorable conditions; not as bad as Chrono, but she looked much older than what she really was, and I think I could even see a couple of gray hairs. She sat down on the armrest of the sofa next to Chrono, she sighed and said nothing, going back to the silence like earlier. Okay, this is getting too dramatic, no wonder Amy was so scarred.

"Who was it?" asked my brother suddenly. I just didn't know what to do. If I lied and gave him a fake name, he would surely kill anyone with that name; but if I didn't give any name, he would most likely get a rocket launcher and go around the world castrating all the men that cross his path. "Fate, who was it?" ugh… this is bad, he's getting angry and mom doesn't seem to intend to stop him.

"W-well, you see, Onii-chan, some things… are… intricately difficult and…" and I don't know what else to say, this is as far as my lie goes, I'm so sorry Amy, I promise to get your baby its first diapers to make up for it.

"Who the hell was it?" yelled my brother suddenly standing up.

"YOU!" That. Did. Not. Sound. Right. Mom's face went from tragedy face to horrified face at the possible incestuous involvement of her two children. Chrono turned to stone and I exploded into a blush of a level beyond the known universe that would've left the tsundere most tsundere in the world, looking like an ant. "No, wait, it wasn't you" I need to explain myself "I mean… I was you, but not the way you're thinking." Great, not even I understand myself "What I'm trying to say is…"

"Chrono-kun…" called a fearful voice; Amy was standing in the hallway, hugging the cushion as if it was lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. "It's not Fate-chan's fault…"

"Amy? What are you doing here?" asked Chrono, obviously confused. Here we go, it's time.

"Chrono-kun, Fate-chan is not… pregnant," she even said the word "the one who's… I mean…" come on Amy; you have all my moral support "… my endometrium won't fall for next eight months."

"Your, what?" Chrono the king of idiots. Definitely the biggest idiot in the whole world.

"I'm pregnant," Amy finally said.

Then something very interesting happened in Chrono's face; it didn't change, at all, he stayed the same, as if he hadn't just heard the biggest news of his life. Mom understood immediately and gave me a look that told me everything, but my brother simply stood there as if he had fallen into a deep coma standing there. The only thing he was doing was breathing.

"But, how?" YAY! Hooray for the most stupid response a man can choose when they tell him he's going to be a father! It's clear we're siblings.

"Chrono, I think it's pretty obvious how it happened." I said getting him out of his trance. Seriously, my brother stops being a rational human being when it comes to family or Amy.

"I just remembered I'm needed at work right now!" Mom yells, straightens up and claps her hands together. "Fate, want to come with me?"

"Sure!" I said rushing to her side. We quickly left the place, those two had a lot to talk about, but I trusted Chrono; it would take him about an hour to recover but I know he would act properly.

Mom decided it would be a good idea to walk around for a while; thing that I didn't like because the last time Mom decided to "just go for a walk" was when we talked about the many properties and benefits of women's underwear; however, this time, no matter how embarrassing the conversation turned out to be, I had to listen till the end.

To my surprise we only talked about normal things, the weather or school, until Mom seemed to not be able to stand it any longer and hugged me tight like she hadn't done for a long time. Normally, it's embarrassing that your parents do this in the middle of the street; but for some reason the last thing I was feeling was embarrassment; I felt calm, happy even.

"I'm so glad you're still my little baby." I take that back, this is embarrassing.

"Mom, not on the street…"

"To hell with the people on the street, they don't even know us and we'll probably never see them again." Mom, please, maybe you'll never see them again, but, what if my future boss sees me like this and remembers it for the rest of his life? I'm not someone stable in this society yet.

After struggling for some time, and noticing that I wouldn't be able to get out of her grip, I convinced my mom to go sit down on the steps of a building, because it was the closest thing to a seat around the place, and wasn't about to stand around with my mom on ultra-hugger mode. That's how, amid the suffocating sign of affection, Mom started to tell me how she had felt when she saw me buying the pregnancy tests:

"More than angry, I was hurt, because I thought that the trust we were supposed to have meant nothing to you," How could she even let that thing cross her mind? "I thought that if there was someone you liked, someone who really made you feel safe enough to pass fully into adulthood with them, I would be the first one to know," Of course you would be the first one to know! You wouldn't know right the second after it happened, but you would definitely be the first one to know… if Hayate doesn't figure it out first. "… and when I saw you there, my little baby…" god, please don't let anyone hear her calling me that, "I thought I was the worst mother in the world and didn't know anything about you."

Mom was now shaking, she was hugging me as if the moment she let go I would disappear and it hurt me seeing her like that; I decided then to swallow any sort of cornyphobia and let my feeling come out, it was the least I could do for her.

"You're the best mom I've ever had…" and no, I haven't had just one.

"You say that just because you can barely remember what happened with the other one," ok, maybe I don't remember it very well, but it's not my fault! Every time I try, my brain blocks it, and my efforts only go so far; then my head starts hurting and… "but it's ok, I'm happy nothing happened in the end… although it's not like I'm completely ok with Chrono, I'll talk to him later."

"Did you want to have grandchildren?" I asked to focus on another subject.

"I guess so, but not so soon; in fact, the only grandchildren I have assimilated is Vivio." Less than a week, she was with Vivio for less than a week pretending she was a Harlaown and she already has my mom eating from the palm of her hand just like the Takamachi. I don't care what they say, I'm not going to adopt her. "and now that we're talking about Vivio, she said you'd marry Nanoha-san…"… that brat…

"Vivio says a lot things… you should ignore half of it." because many of the things she says make no sense and many are just to be annoying. Mom, don't look at me like that, it's not like I said something funny.

"In any case I would ok with it…" ok with what? "I mean, I've known Nanoha-san for a while, I think she's a good girl," Are you implying what I think you're implying? "… and if you're dating her, I would like…"

"STOP! TIME OUT!" a said covering my mother's mouth with my hand to stop the ridiculous ideas that were coming from it and which Vivo probably got into her head during the time she was living in my house. "I'm not dating Nanoha! I'm not going to marry Nanoha! You don't even have to think about it because I'm NOT GOING TO DO IT!"

Mom started laughing nonstop freeing herself from my hand in the process, it wasn't funny for me, I already had enough with the many compromising situations involving Nanoha that had happened in recent months thanks to the tsundere training; and while I had a huge repertoire to make her blush, I had also lost much of my dignity and style in the process.

"Alright, Nanoha-san is a forbidden subject!" No! If you put it like that it's even more suspicious! It simply isn't a subject! "but I really have nothing against that kind of relationship…" how we ended up talking about this is beyond me. "A love interest is a love interest regardless of their appearance," of course, that's what… huh?

"Love interest? Where did you get that word from?" I'll feign ignorance, but if she says she got it from my room then that means she saw Nanoha's training files; which would certainly explain many things.

"I heard it on TV, from a guy who was a psychologist or something. Why do you ask?" wow, that was close, for a moment I thought she had found out I'm manipulating people's personalities.

"I'm just curious, I find it to be an interesting choice of words." Please don't let her notice my lying face, don't let her notice by lying face…

"Fate, can I ask you a mother to daughter question?" I agreed instantly, although I knew by experience that whenever my mom said that, it was to get into a topic even more embarrassing that all the previous ones combined. "Are you gay?" and this was no exception. Lindy, what the hell? No mother in her right mind asks her daughter such a thing in the middle of the street, and much less so straight forward; you could've at least made an introduction sentence to let me prepare a little.

"Mom, I…" wait a minute, do I like boys or girls? I just notice I've never felt any particular attraction for anyone; and technically I never watch people until they get my attention in some specific way. "I…" there's no 'Oh, that person seems interesting because…' or 'I wonder if that person is interested in me' …usually it's the other way around, with my fans and all, but as for me… "I don't have the slightest idea."

And that's how, after Chrono and Amy finished talking – in the end they'll both be responsible and together they would tell the news to the family of my sister-in-law; God help Chrono to come out of there alive – and I called the Wolkenritter family to explain everything – Shamal was already searching for pediatricians to check me up, it took three hours to convince her and Signum that in reality I wasn't the one with the little surprise – we go back to the beginning of the chapter where I asked Hayate the same question my mom had asked me; mistakenly thinking that she, who knows everything about me, would help me.

And she really did help me; in the worst way possible…

According to Hayate Yagami, the world was in a sexual disequilibrium before I was born; "too my straight people" she said; and that every so often she performs statistical studies. That there are records up until this day which indicate that my existence has destroyed two thousand and eighty-seven couples, provoking one hundred and fifty-two death matches, catching the attention of three hundred and three paparazzi, changing the sexual orientation of five thousand girls and attracting one Yandere.

World, I don't get you.

So my brunette friend decided it would be appropriate to show me a video that would help me realize the impact I had on boys and girls; and in the process, to see if their attentions bothered me or if they made me feel liked or even if I identified with them; because according to her, my sexual orientation could be the cause of a mass suicide attempt, so it was necessary to be prepared. Prepared for what? I have no idea; but if she had told me from the start that all this would include Aria, Suzuka and Nanoha, I would have thought twice before agreeing to all her crap.

One Saturday night, in which Mom and Chrono went to dinner with Amy's parents to discuss some "conflicts of interest"; my friends decided – Hayate decided – that it would be a nice time to get together to eat junk food and find out how incredibly asexual I was – because the four were surprisingly interested in the matter –. The place chosen for the event was my house, because Suzuka wanted to feel "what normal girls felt", pretty words to say "I don't know how a sleepover in a middle-class home is like."

In itself, the night started pretty normal; Arf for a chance became the center of attention, constantly playing with Nanoha and Arisa – no, it's not a coincidence that she likes tsundere girls – until Hayate took out a DVD, announcing it as the "documentary of truth", made by herself, edited by herself, with the monetary cooperation of Suzuka Tsukimura, who by the way, since the strange incident last chapter, hasn't stopped showing a disturbing happy smile every time she sees Nanoha and I within two meters of distance.

We settled on the couch with freshly made microwave popcorn, candy and peanuts, and Hayate started the movie:

It started with the typical view of the city and then Hayate's voice narrating like an experience scientist on the subject:

"In the world, people always say to be searching for love; be it with men" here appeared Mr. Torso with Suzuka's sister, she looked pretty upset "women or animals" oh! Arisa's dogs "there are many things that love awakens: desire, adoration, admiration; but problems start when many people love the same object.

Idols from different areas, are the center point of attention and often times of the insane love of its followers; who can do dangerous things on behalf of their obsession.

Now, generally, idols become what they are for different circumstances that make them famous: songs which entrance those who listen to them, performances that bring the watchers to tears or bodies that attract even the most frigid person." What? "But every so often, appears someone who simply doesn't have a definite talent and who by simply existing and being who they are, attracts discerning masses.

This is the case of a girl who falls into this category," Why is there a video of me on the Halloween I dressed like a pumpkin? "and for who's safety we will call: Fate"

"What kind of safety is that? You said my real name!" I yelled throwing a handful of popcorn at Hayate.

"It's the best way to keep you safe, people will believe that your real name is not Fate and will take longer to find you," for some reason, her smile isn't very reassuring.

"Fate goes to school like any normal girl, has friends and average grades; the problem is, that even against her will, there is no person in the world who doesn't fall in love or is attracted to her," after that, Shari appeared, and below her read: 'Shari Finieno, specialist on issues with masses' "Fate-san has something in her body that attracts both sexes, which causes an excessive curiosity of wanting to know more about her; everyone goes through it, there's no exception." Then the screen went back to showing random people walking down the street and Hayate's voice invaded the atmosphere again. "But, is it true that no one can resist Fate? What is so special about this girl if that's the case? We have multiple theories about it, but first, our researchers have decided to ask those who are directly affected: People" the next thing that appear was some girl who I didn't know "I love Fate-san! Fate-san! Call me if you see this! I'm crazy about you! KYAAAA I LOVE YOU!" then appeared guy "I've broken my own record of thinking about Fate for three days straight. The. Whole. Time." Another girl "She's like the new black; I honestly think that people obsessed with her have no social life… what? She's going to watch this? Oh my god! Do I look good? Do you think I should show more cleavage?" And the girl from the beginning once again "FATE, MAKE ME YOURS". God forgave them, for they do not know what they are doing.

"As you can see," they continued showing the fan as she started to undress; but the one talking was Hayate. "the euphoria caused by Miss Fate makes humans behave like idiots; is this caused by some pheromone released by this specimen?" What am I? An insect or something? "we decided to ask a specialist on the matter," the screen showed Shamal, the text below her read 'Doctor specialized on Fate-chan'… I still can believe someone like her got involved in something like this. "I've studied Fate-chan since she was ten years old and have also received many cases of girls with broken legs for trying to spy on her" I did not know that, perfect, now I won't be able to walk around the street in peace "I've preformed blood tests on all of them and compared them to Fate's blood" She has what? Is that even legal? "and nothing out of the ordinary appears in neither of their systems." Hayate's voice was heard again:

"Then, can we say that they are… suspiciously normal?" What do you mean suspiciously normal? Normal is normal! There's nothing wrong with that!

"Doctor Shamal showed us the huge resemblance between Fate's blood and that of her fans," To hell with your blood resemblance! "but, is that really what causes such a mass movement? The biological theory works for those who are close to her. but what about the people that have never seen her in person, or from afar, and still maintain an unwavering loyalty? Could it be nothing but a fad that draws people's attention? Could there really exist a real psychological disorder caused by the blonde?" this is the biggest stupidity in the history of stupidities, I have no words to define all the levels of idiocy that this whole things possesses. I even feel bad for the poor DVD that ended recorded with such thing.

"Our pursuit of truth, took us to Midori-Ya restaurant, where we asked the renowned psychology student, Miyuki Takamachi, about her opinion on this issue." And with a big smile appeared Nanoha's sister on the screen.

"Your sister is studying psychology?" I asked Nanoha.

"No." What the hell? Then… she… I mean… agh, whatever.

"Fate's case is one of the most amazing ones I've seen in my whole career, however, although the biological impact this person possesses is well known," What impact? Damn it! There was nothing on those tests! "I think that same impact is associated with the psychological earthquake that Fate causes with her personality. My theory is that the girl in question, activates the part of the brain associated with desire." Please don't say you'll do tests "and we can prove it, if we show a photograph of Fate to people who don't know her and analyze their brain activity; we can see that the part of the brain that is working most, is responding…" I stopped listening to the documentary completely absorbed by the obscenity of the picture that they were planning on using for the tests. For heaven's sake, when did they take that picture?

"Hayate…where did you get that picture from?" I'm a bit afraid of the answer.

"Do you remember the first time you drank alcohol and started dancing on the table while taking your clothes off and throwing it everywhere?"

"No."

"Exactly."

On the screen, Miyuki analyzed a "machine that records brain activity" which really was a broken machine for recording vitals and it exaggerated the normal waves. The test was shown for a while, until Shamal's angry voice was heard telling them to stop stealing things from the clinic.

"According to the tests performed, we could say that the origin of Fate's abnormal popularity, lies in the biological and psychological reactions that the mere mention of her name causes. Even so, we can't help wondering why Fate possesses such qualities. Are they perhaps passed down her bloodline or are they simply wonderful coincidences?" incredibly, against all odds possible, the next person to appear… was Lindy Harlaown, also known as: Mom.

"The Harlaown are so… so… stupid when it comes to feelings," brutal honesty "Seriously, their ways of upbringing makes all members of the family act that way. Clyde, Chrono's father, was also popular, but he was so busy being number one in his studies that he lived ignorant to all the attention that the girls gave him; it took me one whole year to make him realize he was in love with me," interesting word choice "and to do so, I had to study like crazy and take away his place of super genius.

"Then we have Chrono, he has an unhealthy obsession to be like his father since he was little, he was also fairly popular in school; but he never made a move with any girl, they would always confess first. Until Amy appeared and then it was him who showed interest; interest we all noticed… except Chrono." I still remember all those months my brother spent denying he was in love with Amy, and when he finally realized and accepted it, it took him half a year to approach her without stammering.

"But Fate… Fate takes all that to a whole new level. It almost as if her Testarossa genes multiply her Harlaown personality a hundred times. And I swear I tried to raise her like I was raised, but she always had the habit of imitating Chrono." In my defense, Chrono was an admirable older brother at the time… then he grew up to become the overprotective brother he is now. "the fact is that the Harlaown ring of ignorance combined with her Italian charm and created what she is now.

"Fate is just like Clyde, only she's a girl and has very attractive features. I'm sure that when she falls in love, she won't even notice and confuse it with something else." I feel like mom let out some of her contained anger in that whole statement.

After a quick inspection of the Harlaown family tree and the makeup of the "Testarossa Files", everything sort of moved into irrelevant tangents, which meant that the documentary was about to end.

"In conclusion," said Hayate's voice as the camera focused on Signum eating an apple "it has been proved that Fate is a special case of nature and that everyone, without exception, want her at some point in their lives. THE END"

"What kind of stupid conclusion is that?" I yelled standing up.

"Is the truth, which we figured out with different scientific methods," Hayate answered calmly; seriously, you and your 'scientific methods' only cause problems.

"Hayate, none of that makes sense, it's impossible that EVERYONE wants me." Regardless of the thousands of fans I might have, not everyone can actually want to get me in bed, someone has to be pure hearted.

"It's true, everyone goes through it, if you don't believe me ask Arisa-chan," the millionaire tsundere got a blush level four and almost choked with what she was drinking; after coughing and finally breathing again; she pulled out her cell phone and pretended to be talking to someone rich while leaving the apartment saying "Yeah? John? You needed to talk to me about something important?" Good thing I have bad memory and I'll forget about this in the morning, at the latest.

"Well," Suzuka said "did you find out if you're straight?"

"How exactly was I supposed to do that? The video is only about why I have fans."

"Yeah, but" this time Nanoha was the one to speak "it showed the reactions you provoke on both girls and boys, you just need to figure out with whom you feel most comfortable." Unbelievable, a tsundere forcing information out of her trainer, the world hates me.

"None of their attentions made me feel anything special," I tried to answer as nonchalant as possible "some of them scare me and many others I simply appreciate… but it never goes beyond that."

"Asexual" Hayate said. Sorry! Forgive me for not feeling particularly happy about having a ton of stalkers! I know it sounds unusual but I can't help it! I like my privacy! "Come one, stop making that face" it's the only face I have "listen, we can still test it using the traditional methods." Traditional methods? What traditional methods? "Do you want me to kiss you and see what happens?"

"No." Never. That's definite and sincere. Hayate frowned at my too quick answer.

"Do you want Suzuka-chan to kiss you?"

"No… no offense Suzuka," I do want to offend Hayate though. My friend waved her hand as a sign that none was taken.

"Well…" Hayate continued "Arisa-chan is busy taking care of her passions so… how about Nano-"

"I'LL GO FIND MORE FOOD!" Nanoha yelled and ran into the kitchen in the same condition as Arisa. Apparently tonight is the night to mess with every tsundere out there.

Our millionaire friend who had cowardly escaped, returned once again just as Nanoha disappeared, finding before her the scene of Hayate's innocent smile looking for any mercy in my eyes. I decided to ignore that thing who calls herself my friend and grabbed the empty bowls to follow Nanoha and stabilize her mental state. As expected, I found her doing everything but worrying about the food.

"Hayate says a lot of stupid things when it comes to me," I said to her unexpectedly, making her jump and turn even redder… she has been very dere-dere lately, maybe she's ovulating and her hormones are betraying her; and why am I thinking about the endometrium thing again?

"I-It's ok, I-I'm just l-looking for more popcorn," I could apply so many maneuvers now that she's weak, but my good friend conscious tells me not to.

"Right, and you were planning to carry them in your hands?" Conscious? What is a conscious? Activating maneuver S-5140!

"I-I was going to go get the bowl." I don't know whether to hate Hayate for embarrassing me or love her for giving me this training opportunity.

"Really? It's seemed to me like you had no intention of going back out there," as tsundere as Nanoha is right now, it would be very profitable to push her with things related to a certain part of her body – I'm talking about her lips, you bunch of perverts! What were you thinking about! – until she reaches tsun-tsun mode.

"And why would I not want to go back according to you?" Bingo! Who knew it would be so easy.

"Because maybe Hayate would force you to kiss me," blush level two, she's hiding her embarrassment pretty well; perfect Nanoha, keep it up.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but that reason didn't even cross my mind and I'm not interested in the slightest." She answered, following that sentence with the traditional arms crossing and looking to the side. Aaaah~ you can slowly see the result of a job well done. I'm in heaven! On cloud nine! The top of Mount Olympus!... but it isn't enough.

"I see, and what would happen if I accidentally moved a little closer?" I said in a mocking tone taking a big step that left me standing very close to Nanoha. At first it seemed like that would be it and she would explode in a tsun-tsun attack; but to my surprise, she kept her arms crossed and stared at me with an intensity that told me it was still too early to declare victory.

"Nothing would happen, absolutely nothing," oh god! There it is again! That moe blush! Damn it, I can't talk again, what do I do? Help!

With the right side of my brain complete useless and my left side running purely on instincts; I had the audacity of moving closer to Nanoha, getting myself lost in the sea of that pair of stubborn blue eyes, that small frown accompanied by that blush made them stand out even more; her arms crossed and mouth closed almost in a pound… The whole scene was perfect and tempting. What would happen if I got a little closer, just a millimeter?

I was virtually nothing away from Nanoha, her already heavy breathing caressing my lips, her crossed arms now slacked and her frown was gone; but that was not her limit, although weak, the defenses were still there. Increasingly tsundere and increasingly stubborn, what did I have to do to get the tsun-tsun I wanted and be the winner? I could get closer, but that would be too dangerous, it would be best to remove her defenses one by one.

I grabbed Nanoha's wrists and guided them to their respective sides. There, one defense less. Then I went up her left arm, slowly enough for a shiver to destroy the obstinacy in those eyes; and now there is no defenses, what should I do? Why isn't she pushing me or hitting me like she always does?

I wasn't thinking, but my body decided it would be a good idea to move closer, and the more I felt Nanoha's smell, the more I lost the notion of whether I was doing this for training or for something else. I was so close that there was no reason or slap that could get me out of what I was about to experience.

"Lindy-san!" I heard in the distance and as if an electric shock had hit me, I jump away from Nanoha; who stayed motionless with an expressionless face, which then started changing and becoming dark and angry and saying 'you're dead!'. I tried to run away or scream, but yay! My brain still wasn't working!

To hell with it, I'm going to die…

I welcomed Mom and Chrono with a two inch bump in my head, which they seemed not to notice, and tears that involuntarily fell from my eyes; Nanoha smiled angelically, Hayate feigned innocence and Arisa and Suzuka greeted them like the well-educated rich girls they were.

Finally we all went to sleep, but I didn't sleep at all because my pretty little head was still sore from the deadly hit I received for practically raping Nanoha in the kitchen.

Well, it was also her fault, how dare she gives me a moe blush right just then? Doesn't she know that as a trainer I have a weakness for things like that? I'm human and have my own Achilles heel…

To all this, I still don't have the slightest idea of whether I'm straight, gay, zoophilic or asexual…

Although I won't deny that Nanoha's lips make me very curious.

T/N: Hope you guys liked it, next chapter we'll be meeting a new character, just a hint: Yandere!, any guesses on who it could be(and no cheating looking at the original story), anyway I hope I can update soon or at least sooner than what it took me to update this chapter, I've just been busy and stuff. But thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review and see ya next time ;)