Bonus Chapter- Ready, Get Set, Audition!

Sporks, the first part of this chapter is for you. I hope it raises your respect for the Scarlet Witch a little... Also, I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! They made me laugh so hard I actually fell off the chair *wipes tears of laughter away* Heehee! BWAHAHA! Captain Spandex XD Fits Scott very well, yes?

Rule 63 is genderbending. And the female version of Gambit looks friggin' awesome.

'SET IT ON FIRE!' Yes! PYRO! WE HAVE WORK TO DO! HAHAHAHAHA

Note: stuff in bold is my commentary/dialogue with the characters

Casting:

Wanda as the Queen of Hearts

Toad as the Knave of Hearts

'OFF WITH HIS HEAD!' bellowed Wanda maniacally, her curly hair flying wildly as she pointed at Toad. 'AT ANY COST! OFF WITH HIS HEAD! IT MUST ROLL! IT MUST BE OFF, I SAY!'

Casting:

Charles Xavier as the Mock Turtle

Pyro as the Gryphon

Once Charles and John had finished their rendition of the Lobster Quadrille, they both stared at Jean in anticipation. 'It was a very pretty dance,' she said awkwardly.

Charles began to cry.

'You- you're lying! I know you absolutely abhorred it!' he choked out.

He's a telepath?

'Now, now, mate, no need for tears,' said John hastily, heavily patting Charles on his back.

'I- I did enjoy it! Sort of!' cried Jean in an attempt to resolve matters. Unfortunately... It just made things worse. Charles threw himself onto the floor and bawled like a baby.

'Talk about adding fuel to the fire,' sighed Jean. Immediately, she realised that she'd made a huge, fatal and absolutely lethal mistake.

At the mention of fire, John's eyes brightened and he clicked his lighter. Instantly the field was engulfed in flames. The pyromaniac had been let loose on the world.

Jean, confronted with the insane creature and the sobbing turtle, did the only thing she could.

I'm out of here,' she muttered, using her powers to levitate herself out of Wonderland.

Casting:

Logan as the Dormouse

'I will not,' snarled the feral mutant. 'I will not be cast in this humiliting role. Especially not with Furry over there laughing his ass off.'

Indeed, Sabretooth was rolling on the floor laughing.

But you walked in by yourself! You volunteered! All we needed was for you to scream, 'I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER!' in a way that would have made Katniss proud.

'Did not! I stumbled upon this door by accident!'

Details, details. Now... Five, four, three, two, Logan-shut-up-and-act ONE!

Logan the Dormouse snoozed on as Jean, Wade and Mastermind attempted to hold a conversation.

'Wake up, you bloody, over-sized, lazy mongrel,' said Wade, poking Logan.

Logan woke up- roaring, snarling, and growling. All at once. You have to hand it to him- that hairy, short Canadian sure could multitask.

'WHO ARE YOU CALLING MONGREL?!' he bellowed, launching himself at Wade.

Wade responded in kind, whipping out a couple of weapons. By a couple, I mean, three katanas, eight switchblades, one bazooka, multiple lethal guns, and one Whack-A-Mole hammer.

Okay, okay. I have two furious warriors having a go at each other in the middle of my studio. Both have healing factors and are extremely deadly. What should I do? Keep calm and- AHHHHHHHHHHH EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Casting:

Wanda as the Queen (again)

Pyro as the King

Magneto as the Knave

Jubilee as the juror, the Sparrow

Jubilee stood up and announced, 'The jury has decided upon Erik's guilt.'

'Excellent,' declared Wanda. 'So off with his-'

'WAIT!' came a squeaky voice from the door. Toad scuttled into the courtroom, a wilted bouquet clutched in one slimy hand.

'No!' cried Wanda frantically. 'Don't let him in!' A couple of lethal hexes sparked from her fingertips and slammed into their target.

Pandemonium exploded in the courtroom as Wanda went berserk and started to wildly attack Toad. Unfortunately, most of her shots were off target due to her anger. Thus, her magic harmed more of the furniture than Toad himself.

'She's insane!' cried one of the jurors, as he escaped the courtroom along with his companions from the box.

Casting:

Kurt as Cheshire

Jean as Alice

BAMF! Kurt popped up from nowhere, elicting a startled shriek from Jean.

'Oh, sorry!' he exclaimed. 'But, my friend, I just want to know what happened to the baby.'

'It turned into a pig and ran off.'

'Right,' replied Kurt, BAMF-ing into the forest.

A few minutes later, he appeared in front of Jean again.

'Did you say pig or fig?' he asked.

'I said pig. He sprouted a snout and trotted away.'

'Right,' said Kurt again, disappearing with the usual smell of brimstone.

A short while later...

BAMF!

Jean sighed.

Casting:

Pyro as the Hatter

Bobby as the King

'Don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed,' said Bobby sternly.

'Who are you to order me around? Blasphemy!' snapped Pyro as flames sprung to life around him, courtesy of his many lighters. For the third time that day, the courtroom was in utter upheaval.

Casting:

Magneto as the Flamingo

Jamie as the Hedgehog

Rogue as the Queen of Hearts

Gambit as the King of Hearts

'Steady, steady…' Rogue aimed and thwacked her flamingo at the hedgehog.

Unfortunately for Erik the flamingo and fortunately for everyone else, he went face-first into Jamie's spiky back. This resulted in Erik howling in agony as he received a faceful of quills, Jamie multiplying as a result of the shock, Anna dropping Erik in surprise at the sight of the sudden hedgehog swarm, and Erik plunging into the midst of the Jamies.

'YEOWW! OOOF! NO, NOT THERE! AHHHHHH! THAT HURT! MOMMY!'

Breaking news: The Amazing Bucket-Wearing Flamingo Brutally Stabbed Repeatedly By Stampede of Crazed Hedgehogs While the Queen and the King Calmly Sip Lemonade and Watch. The Queen Giggled Maniacally and Perhaps Slightly Sadistically.

Casting:

Joseph as the Knave of Hearts

Gambit and Rogue as the King and Queen

Everyone else as… Everyone else

'Guilty!' the jury declared happily.

'Great!' cheered Rogue. 'Prepare the torture board!'

Joseph let out an audible gulp.

In a short time, he was strapped to a wooden board, having food scraps chucked at him.

'DOWN WITH THE KNAVE!' chanted the bloodthirsty crowd, busy throwing rotten tomatoes at Joseph.

He growled as a limp pear went splat against his face but there was really nothing he could do.

'Why bother with executions?' laughed Anna. 'This is so much more fun!'

Remy smiled fondly and swept her into a grand kiss, to the raucous cheers of the crowd.

~The End! (Or is it?)

Don't be sad :) I have another Alice parody in the works. And probably a couple more of other movies/fairytales.

I'll be back.

-Mitch x