Chapter 4

On my way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few ingredients so I could make dinner. Might as well considering that I'm out of food and more than likely going to have a guest for the next forty-eight hours. I was still nervous about how tonight would go. I had no idea what Jo had in mind and no idea how I would respond to it. The kiss was good. I didn't really have a problem with the kiss. It's the more intimate stuff I was worried about. My subconscious couldn't look at me, and my inner goddess was beginning to glow. Oh my. I may have been a virgin when Christian got a hold of me, but I'm not stupid. I know there are things that only women will understand, and that only some women are willing to do. Question numero uno: was I one of those women?

I got home and began to unload my groceries, placing everything where I would need it, and setting my iPod on its dock so I could at least have something to calm my nerves. Shuffle and play. The first song to come on as I started to chop my vegetables for the spaghetti was the song I heard playing in Jo's playroom a few nights ago by In This Moment. It was called, ironically enough, Scarlet.

You, you're everything I want

And I, I'm everything you need

This night is cutting into me

You tie me down, you watch me bleed

And we risk everything tonight

As I listened to the lyrics I began to blush. So far, the song was fitting to the situation at hand. Kind of dark at some parts, but nevertheless, I liked it. It made me feel…forlorn? It wasn't an emotion that I could easily pinpoint or identify.

I, I am the misery you crave

And you, you are my faithful enemy

This hunger seems to feed on me

A sacred sin, a dying breed

And we risk everything

They can never know just what we've done

They can never know just what we've done

They will never know all the blood we've shed

The Scarlet cross we bear until the bitter end

And they, they can never know just what we've done

Nothing good will come of this

I'm screaming out with my last aching breath

I'll be yours until my dying day

But I can never see you

We, we knew how this would end

And we knew we'd die before we lived

But I'll never let you go

I'll never let you go

They will never know all the blood we've shed

The Scarlet cross we bear until the bitter end

And they, they can never know just what we've done

I will never let you go

They can never know just what we've done

I will never let you go

We knew how this would end

By the time the song had stopped, tears were streaming down my face. The song had changed. When I first heard it, it had reminded me of Jo, and our agreement. But now that I've actually had a chance to listen to it, the more it reminds me of how Christian and I ended. The bitter taste it left in my mouth; the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach; the shattered pieces of my heart that lay scattered on the floor before me. I never want to feel like that again. We knew how this would end…

Putting it on a more cheerful playlist, I resumed my cooking, trying to dispel my depressing thoughts. Just as the meat finished cooking and the noodles began to boil, the doorbell rang. Here goes nothing. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door hoping I had a semblance of a smile on my face.

"Hello, Miss Steele." Jo's husky voice slid over my skin causing goose bumps to rise on my arms and neck.

"Hello, Jo. Please come in." My mouth had gone dry, so I'm pretty sure that came out as a croak.

She smiled and glided past me into the apartment. "Make yourself at home. Can I take your coat for you? You can put your shoes on that rug next to mine if you want." It was so much easier to talk to her when I wasn't looking at her. She was rather distracting. When I turned around she had already hung up her coat and taken off her shoes.

Giving me a Cheshire cat grin, she winked and took a sniff of the air. "I think I can manage. What smells so good?"

It was my turn to smile. I can't help it. I love it when someone appreciates good cooking. "Spaghetti. I hope you're hungry."

I was stirring the noodles and glanced up when I heard Jo chuckle darkly. "Oh, Miss Steele, I'm starving." My eyes widened and I had to swallow the sudden lump in my throat. Holy shit.

oOoOo

Dinner was good, with Jo and I exchanging small talk. All the while my subconscious was shaking her head and locking herself in her room, while my inner goddess snuck out the window to play. Those two never seem to want to be in the same room.

"So, Ana, what made you cry?" Jo asked, startling me out of my thoughts. How did she know?

I shrugged and looked down at my plate, pushing the noodles around with my fork. "Um, well, it's a song." I trail off, to embarrassed and not wanting to think about it anymore.

She doesn't give up. "A song? What song and why did it upset you so much?" She reaches up and strokes the skin under my eyes gently. Her touch is feather light and heartwarming.

Unwittingly, I turn my face into her hand, needing the physical comfort. I hadn't realized how much I needed it until now. I miss Kate. I wish she were here. "The song is called 'Scarlet', by In This Moment." I lean back and grab our plates then head to the sink to wash them.

Behind me Jo chuckles, then sighs. "The song wouldn't happen to have anything to do with me would it? I would hate to be the reason for you distress."

"No. Of course not. I mean, at first I thought the song suited our, um, situation, but then all it did was remind of the person I'm doing this for, and how we parted. It just took me by surprise, that's all." Done with the dishes, I turned to find her staring at me intently, a quizzical look on her face.

Stepping to where I had my iPod docked, she removed it and began to scroll through my songs. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to hear this song. Can you go through it again? I can wait if not." She looked up at me, sympathy and a need to understand in her eyes. Wow. I never got a look like that from Christian. I nod and stand at the end of the island, as she started to play the song.

As the music drifted and pulsed around the kitchen, the look in Jos' eye began to change; from sympathy to heat; from heat to molten emeralds. Oh boy. I began to back up as she slowly came around the island, stopping only when my back hit the refrigerator. Reaching up she stroked my face, her thumb stoking the corner of my mouth as her lips descended on mine. Unlike the last kiss we shared, this one was achingly sweet. Slow and soft, her tongue glided through my mouth, stroking mine and enticing me to react. Taking my breath. She stroked her lips across mine before pulling away, her lips hovering just beyond reach. "There shouldn't be this much pain in your eyes."

Boldly, and to get off this subject, I leaned my body into hers, and kissed her. My inner goddess gave me a standing ovation. That's my girl. As the song changed, so did Jo. Suddenly, she spun me around and against the island. Breaking the kiss, she grabbed my hands and placed them on the counter. "Support yourself, Anastasia." I nodded as her hands slid down to my thighs, and she hauled me onto the island. Firmly, she planted herself between my legs as she rubbed her palms up and down them. Reaching up with one hand, she grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back, exposing the column of my throat. Her teeth nibbled and her tongue soothed a trail to my breasts. Slowly, as if gauging my reaction, she licked at my nipples through my shirt and bra. Even through the material, the touch was electric. I gasped, arching my back. Her mouth closed over one nipple, suckling and biting, and then she repeated the attention to my other nipple.

She let me go long enough to slip my shirt over my head and discard my bra before her mouth began to torture my tightly strung nipples once more. I writhed there on the island, and used my feet to pull her closer to me. Pushing me back on the island, she nibbled the sensitive spot just below my belly button. When I lifted my hips in reaction, she quickly undid my pants and pulled them down, leaving only my panties left to cover me. When she stroked her tongue over the seam of my sex through the thin lace, I convulsed and nearly came right then and there. The real torture began when she moved the panties aside and speared her tongue inside me. "Ahh... good…Jo." I was completely incoherent, gasping and writhing. My hands fisted in her hair, pushing her away, and holding her to me. I wanted her to stop. I wanted her to keep going.

oOoOo