ORCS!

(To the Tune of "Love Changes Everything" from Aspects of Love by Andrew Lloyd Webber)

Orcs —
Orcs can't do anything;
They're a herd of
Stupid swine.
Orcs —
Orcs can't do anything,
Couldn't trace a
Dotted line.
Orcs are dumber in the Realm
Even than they were in Tolkien!
No, orcs,
Orcs can't do anything;
In the words of
Sam-I-Am —
I am sure I do not like green pigs and ham.

Orcs —
Orcs can't do anything;
They don't even
Seem to care.
Orcs —
Orcs can't do anything,
Never use those
Swords they wear.
Orcs let baby unicorns
Free their slaves, all dwarves and children.
No, orcs,
Orcs can't do anything,
Follow out the
Simplest plan —
Orcs can't even beat an unarmed Cloud Bear clan.

Say
You have the Young Ones trapped,
Weaponless and
Up a tree.
Orcs
Somehow will find a way
To re-arm them,
Set them free.
Orcs make Rita's Putties look
Like the Mongol Horde on steroids.
No, orcs,
Orcs can't do anything;
They're the Spam of
Evil thugs —
Thanks to Him-Without-a-Name for Bullywugs!

Yes, give thanks for Lizardmen and Bullywugs!

(Orcs can't do anything;
They're a herd of
Stupid swine!)