Rigby/Eileen. High-T. HUMANIZED. HUMANIZED, HUMANIZED, HUMANIZED. Thank you :)

"Come on Rigby, let me take you home."

Her soft voice is barely heard over the blaring rock music, but because she pulled on his brown hoodie, she brought her mouth close to his ear. The twenty-three year old young man shook his head, refusing the young woman's request. Rigby stumbled, his forehead going against Eileen's his disheveled brunette hair brushing against her lighter shaded locks. He almost knocks the small glasses off the bridge of her nose, but Eileen steadies them before they lose balance. "Leave me alone," Rigby then told her, and his voice is loud, whiny, and most of all drunk.

Drunk was an understatement. Rigby and everyone else at this party was smashed. Everyone, except the petite woman named Eileen, who had to be at work in the Coffee Shop in less than six hours. Rigby and his friend Mordecai threw a pizza party of the lake docs. It would have been fine, if pizza were all that was there. Nope, try pizza, beer, more beer, whiskey, vodka, and more beer.

He started to walk off, but Eileen hooked her arm around his firmly. They were both considerably short, he was only two or three inches taller, if that. "I'm taking you home," she said firmly.

His hooded eyes stare at her small and timid ones. Rigby was kind of a jerk sober, so when he was drunk he was an even bigger one. But for some odd reason, Eileen liked the scrawny young man. It wasn't just because her best friend was Margaret and his was Mordecai, and they saw each other often because those two were dating. She liked him a lot more before that. Trust me, it took awhile for Mordecai and Margaret to hook up.

Now she started to tug him, insistently walking backwards with Rigby still on her arm. He teetered, but followed her, crushing his empty beer can angrily in his fist. "Leave me alone!" he yelled, much like a five year old.

"You're gonna have such a nasty hangover," was all she replied with, mainly talking to herself than Rigby. Finally, the two reached her car, and Eileen opened the passenger car door for him. "Please get in."

"Please get in. Pfffft," he mocked. But despite his bad manners, he got in her car, slamming the car door.

Eileen went to the driver's side and started the car. She drove off towards her house; there was no way she could take Rigby home. The minute he walks in smashed, his boss Benson would have him fired. Margaret would probably take Mordecai back to her place for the night. Rigby had nowhere else to go but with her.

They were in the car a total of five minutes and already it smelled like alcohol. "Lemme play some tunes," he insisted.

"My radio broke," she replied softly.

"UGH! This freaking stinks! I wanna go back to the party!" he yelled. Eileen reminds herself to stay calm. Rigby is just drunk. Everything he says until he's sober isn't true. "Heeeeeyyy," he suddenly drawls. She turns her head towards him questioningly. This was the first time he didn't sound angry. "Heeey, you're really freaking pretty when you drive."

She almost stopped the car. What? Did Rigby just say that?!

"Wha-what?" Eileen stammered.

Now his warm hand was on the beck of her neck. He always seemed warm, but when his hand touched her in such an odd place, she really realized that. "Yeah," he said again, his voice softer. "You're really pretty. Car or not. Have I ever told you that?"

Whenever she blushed, Margaret would tease that she turned this bright color of pink. She was probably that color right now. "No, you've never told me," Eileen mumbled softly. Was he being serious right now? No, he couldn't be. Rigby is drunk, he doesn't actually think she's pretty.

They arrived at Eileen's apartment. "Hey, this isn't the house," he said. His anger seemed to dull faster and faster. Rigby jumped out of her car and began to hop up her steps. "Race ya!" he yelled.

"My neighbors are trying to sleep!" she yelled back, but her voice was squeaked.

"Screw the neighbors! Race me, Eileen!"

Now he was laughing. Okay, was Rigby a bi-polar drunk? And was it wrong for her to actually get excited by that?

She ran after him, both of them racing up the winding staircase. He was laughing and so was she, and by the time she reached her doorstep she had the keys out. The door unlocked and the two stumbled in her apartment. "I won," he chuckled, "You sooooooo lost."

"Nuh-uh!" Eileen giggled. "You were wobbling up and down, Rigs." He scoffed and both his hands clamped down on her tiny curves. "Yeep!" she squeaked.

Rigby laughed. "Somebody is ticklish."

"No, no-no-no-no, Rigby, don't- ahaahaha!"

He started to tickle her, and she bursts out laughing. The two tumble onto her couch, Rigby still tickling her nonstop. "Say I won!" he grinned deviously.

"I-hahahahaha- can't- ahahaha- you're tickling me!"

"Say it anyway!"

"You win! You win!"

He stops tickling her and she takes a huge breath in. Rigby laughs devilishly as she gasps for breath beneath him. "What's my prize?" he then asks her, his voice taking a gruff tone. Eileen suddenly realizes that the man she's been crushing on since 20 was on top of her, pressing her into the couch, and there was a wild look in his eyes. Oh dear lord.

"Rigby..." Eileen stammered, her nerves obvious in her voice.

"I want a prize," he says, and then his lips crush hers. Rigby is kissing her, and because of his intoxicated state his kiss is sloppy, it has the taste of whiskey and pepperoni pizza. But despite everything, his kiss is perfect, because he's the only one she's wanted for a long time. She puckers her lips back and kisses him the only way she knows how- sweetly. He's a little more rambunctious than sweet, and his hands trail up from her curves where he was tickling her, to one of her soft mounds. Drunk Rigby, trying to cop a feel? Eileen takes his hand in her own, but she doesn't take it off her breast. His kiss is wild, and she's too enthralled by that to care.

But you know that when he's sober, everything will change.

Eileen breaks her lips off his, and Rigby whines in protest. "You can sleep on the couch," she told him softly. "Please, stay the night here."

He kisses her again, sloppily, and already they're about to have a second make-out session. "Eileen," he mumbled against her lips, kissing down her neck. It was too much. It was too, too much.

Again, she breaks his lips from hers. This time, the small woman hugs him, taking a good whiff of his hoodie spritzed with cologne. "Goodnight, Rigby."

Before he can kiss her a third time, she's off the couch and had scurried to her bedroom, shutting the door. She expected him to follow her, but he stayed on the couch, where he soon feel asleep.

The Next Morning...

She was lucky if she got an hour of sleep. Hell, she was lucky that she woke up early enough to get ready! By the time her bedroom door opens, she has five minutes to get out of the house. Rigby is still conked out on the couch, but his dark hooded eyes open when she stumbles through.

"Eileen?"

Her head snaps towards him, and ohmygod he looks so cute. "Um yeah, I took you here last night, make yourself comfy, if you leave be sure to lock the door and be careful," she tells him all in one breath.

"Wait!"

He jumped off the couch, bounding to her in a few short strides. "You have a hangover?" she asked in concern.

"Like crazy," he muttered. "I'll come get coffee later."

Eileen smiled. "Well, I'll be working there."

Now he was looking at her straight in the eyes. "Eileen?"

"...yeah?"

"Thanks." And Rigby is giving her the warmest smile she had ever seen, which is so not like him. Her face flushes.

"Um, yeah, no, it's cool. Totally cool."

Suddenly, she's being pressed against his chest, and he's hugging her. "Hey, I meant what I said," Rigby told her in a low voice, "you're freaking pretty."

A/N

D'AAAAAW :') I love that pairing. So yeah, I wrote a one-shot. I don't expect any reviews, but if I get some, hoorah :) Thank you!

~Moonlight Escape