AN: My usual beta is having a hectic time in RL right now so Finding Me is taking forever. So, here's another random one-shot for you guys along the lines of 'what if Shepard's comm system had still been active when she got spaced?'
I just watched the Voyager episode Day of Honour and I've been listening to I'll Follow You into the Dark by DCFC so take from that what you will...
Hiss
Click
Hiss
Click
Hiss, hiss, hiss...
That's not right...
Commander Shepard thought to herself as she drifted from the wreckage of the Normandy. She quickly realised that her airline had been punctured and she rushed to seal the leak with her biotics, although she knew that it was too late. She had maybe a minute of oxygen left, if she was lucky. She knew, of course, that she would have fallen into the planet's atmosphere long before help arrived but there was a certain finality to hearing her oxygen escape from her suit and out into the black.
So, this was how she died. Not in the fiery heat of battle but in the inky blackness of space. Completely alone. She refused to cry. She had to stay strong in the face of impending doom. It was simply who she was. Even if there was no one there to stay strong for...
"Commander?" She instinctively turned her head to face the small, electronic voice despite the knowledge that the sound was coming through her suit's comm system which apparently hadn't been damaged in the blast.
"Kaidan?" She asked the voice, determined to keep her own strong. To not be afraid.
"Shepard, I'm sorry. We can't get to you. You just have to hold on until help arrives." He's full of bullshit and she knows it. She can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. Of him trying to reassure her and convince her that she'll be alright.
"Sorry Kaidan, my luck just ran out. My oxygen supply got hit in the blast. I don't have much longer." She admitted, her tone as if they were discussing the lack of decent coffee instead of her imminent death.
"Shepard, I-"
"Did everyone else make it?" She cut him off. She knew that tone all too well and would not have him apologising to her for this.
"We lost Pressley and some other crewmen from the lower decks but most of us are here." He told her and she nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see her.
"This isn't your fault Kaidan. You did everything you could." She said, determined to not have her friend blame himself for this. "Tell the others the same. Especially Joker." She told him and the comm went silent for a few moments.
"Yes, Commander." He said and she felt her heart clench as she realised what her death would mean to one person in particular.
"And tell... God, just tell him I'm sorry... That I didn't keep my promise…" She fought hard to keep her voice from breaking as a single tear escaped down her cheek, seemingly opening the floodgates.
"Tell who, Shepard?" Kaidan asked hesitantly and Shepard laughed a little once more, the noise sounding more desperate and manic than it had before.
"I know who she means, Kaidan. And don't worry, Shepard. I'll make sure he knows." Tali's voice came over the comm and Shepard swallowed hard, nodding.
"Tali, make sure he knows that I don't blame him. For not being here. That I'm glad for it, even. Don't let him... don't..." Shepard's coherency faded with each passing moment as she struggled for oxygen, knowing that her time was up.
"I will, Shepard. I promise." Shepard was barely able to give a weak nod at that.
"Thank you..." She barely managed to whisper before her mind tried to grasp at anything and everything to keep her awake, grasping at memories both old and new.
Sixteen candles on a birthday cake. The last moment of happiness. Of innocence...
Biotic power flowing over her as she cries with silent rage at the sight of her dead family...
Remaining stoic as she is told that none of her team survived. That she is, once again, alone...
Shepard
Wrex...
Tali reminding her of a younger sister she can barely remember...
Distancing herself from the advances of both Kaidan and Liara...
"I'm uh…thank you, Shepard…" Wishing he would say more...
No one notices the unshed tears after Virmire… No one but him...
The look of relief on his face as she climbs atop the ruins of Sovereign...
"I'm not coming back to the Normandy, Shepard. I got accepted into Spectre training."
"Good."
"Good?"
"Because I'm not sure how much longer I could be around you and not tell you that I'm falling in love with you." Strong arms wrap around her, confirming that she did the right thing...
A few stolen moments before she leaves for the Terminus Systems...
"Is it selfish that I don't want you to go?"
"No. But I'm coming back."
"That a promise?"
"I'll always come back for you. Promise."
"Sorry..." She managed to whisper one last time as her eyes closed and she slipped out of consciousness and into the black.