This episode caused a lot feelings, all of which would be unnecessary if Tumblr didn't exist. It does though, and I ache, so I need to revamp the episode just enough that I can stop sobbing over it. Who am I kidding, I'm still going to sob over it, but this will ease the pain a little. I hope I don't ruin it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice or the characters.

"I never wanted this," Dick whispered into his mug, his voice echoing along the steaming cocoa before he took in both the echo and the admittance he knew he'd never find himself uttering again.

He winced ever so lightly as the hot brew burnt rough at his throat, swallowing past the tears of pain and cradling the fiery porcelain in his gloved grip, masked navy eyes meeting the reflection in the creamy surface that every tremble broke with a ripple. He couldn't quite tell if the shivers were from how his costume had yet to dry from his unwilling bath earlier or from the mass mess of emotion running him rapid, but he just wanted them gone before anyone came upon him.

The ebony refused to go home and face his so-called family with the mistakes he had made that had left their base in ruin and had three of their team absent from sight; he couldn't bear to tell his guardian that it was his fault that Jason had died in the explosion this time. Hypothermia sounded like a much better fate than the one that awaited him if he dare approach those that had helped shape him into the mess that he was now.

"I thought I could do it now… I've spent more days on this team than I had back in the Flying Grayson era…" he took another sip, blowing it before swallowing hard, "I should've figured. I always lose whatever I love. Maybe I should just become Batman! If I don't love anything to begin with, there's nothing to leave…"

He was about to take another drink, a hard knot centered in the base of his throat when a call overcame his senses and he gave a groan of fear, holding it even tighter now and staring holes in the flash drive resting beside the white cup and its heavy steam clouds.

"Recognized: Kid Flash, B zero three."

As the doors slid open, Dick didn't have to glance over to recognize the figure angrily striding from the darkness the corridor supplied, the angry voice cutting the air doing him the favor.

"What. Happened?"

Wally's voice was curt, but the murder resting on each letter was enough to send shivers from the tip of Dick's spine to his fingertips, weakening his hands down to the table where his hot cocoa now rested. The ebony sat there, afraid to move even a molecule, unable to focus on anything but the swift and rough footsteps that grew louder and closer until they stopped and a form made itself out in his peripheral. Black and blue weren't regular colors for the speedster, but that didn't make it any less terrifying.

For all that anyone were to care, the ginger could be in a sparkling cut dress that exposed his entire left leg, his back and the majority of his chest similar to Jessica Rabbit's own choice apparel. A seductive voice just as similar would've only worsened the shivers, forcing hidden white teeth to grind painfully and anxiously.

"It was necessary," Dick murmured, never lifting his gaze from the table as he felt the intensity of the glare bearing down at him.

He watched as Wally straightened a little and even dared to glance up, not even the slightest relieved to see the emerald eyes lacking the narrowation he expected would be awaiting him. The wide cuts with the dipped in eyebrows was a lot more threatening, enough to stop the ebony's breath again and silence him effectively.

"It better have been. Spill."

The venom from his words leaked and caught Dick on the hand, making him swallow a small cry of pain that weakened his already faltering tone. The gruff nature of it now reminded him of his own mentor, forcing his eyes closed, dragging his nails against the porcelain and keeping his face down

"Aqualad needed to find a way to help us rescue Lagoon boy. He had already injected a microscopic tag into La'gaan's bloodstream, and he used the raid on the cave to pass essential intel."

Dick knew there was nothing he could say to save himself from the blame that was set hard on his shoulders, kicking Atlas from his place and forcing the orphaned acrobat into it, but he couldn't help but try. The last thing he needed was to lose his best friend. Biting his lip, he released the mug and grabbed for the flash drive, holding it in trembling fingertips.

"A flash drive," he lifted it up for emphasis, forcing his gaze to meet with the emerald one, his stomach already in knots over it, "with among other things tracking software that can locate the- tag."

The ebony could've punched himself for how obvious his pain became as he broke on the last word, his voice going from shamefully quiet to that depressed little whimper. He didn't need to seem any weaker than he already was, but he felt as if he had white flags tied to his hands and a princess outfit lining his figure. He should've surrendered. He should've stood up, rested his head on his friend's shoulder and begged to be punished for all this, hopefully resulting in an action repeating Kaldur's earlier.

"Like that's all he did," Wally growled, arms folding over his black sweater-covered chest.

Still biting his lip, Dick set a hand to the cool of the table and forced himself to his feet, refusing to look away again.

"Wally," it was painful to use his best friend's name at a time like this, feeling as traitorous as he did, but he knew the emphasis it pressed, "he had to make it look good. He put inhibitor collars on us, but he knew I'd get us out of them."

He chided himself for motioning with his hands, trying his best to will them to stop, but there are some habits that won't just die. They lay there, flesh sunken in to rest along their skeleton, a small little smirk on what's left of their lips because they know that they've won this.

There were so many habits like that, Dick thought, one of them being him always resorting to rookie mistakes.

He had done stuff like this before in the training sessions, but he had to remind himself this was real life more times than he'd like to admit. These were his friends! The old team leader and his best friend's girlfriend to be specific, both fighting to save them all with their lives on the line. Why was it so hard to live up to the reputation that working with the legendary Batman had set up for him? Why couldn't he just do something right for once?

"He took three more hostages! Members of your team," the pale finger accusingly jabbed the air towards the ebony, stabbing him through the heart with an ego tear that he just couldn't take right now.

"And we'll rescue them when we rescue Lagoon boy!" the anger in Dick's tone made him tense enough, wondering why his eyes were in slits when Wally was saying exactly what he was thinking.

He tensed even harder though as Wally lunged forward and grabbed him hard by the chest of his costume, nails not being sparingly on the underneath flesh. He was pulled forward, a little too close for comfort with the particular emotion that had him there, the emerald eyes piercing hard into his mask.

"DICK!" hearing his name was the hardest reality check he had ever gotten.

It stung more than the shocks the collars had raced through him, tears stinging his eyes, but it hurt even worse because of the rage linked with his voice. He'd never heard his name used in anything but confusion, good nature or a friendly little complaint between the two of them. This shout drug a needle hard through his heart, tearing each fiber apart one-by-one.

"He blew up the cave! You guys almost died!"

For a second, Dick swore it was worry he heard in his best friend's tone, but he knew it couldn't be. This was an anger fit, not a visitor's call. He was being scolded; his life wasn't being celebrated.

"No…" he swallowed hard, grabbing the pale wrists and holding them as gentle as he could despite the hostility they had used on him, "it's all on the flash drive."

He hesitated, feeling the fists lighten, carefully releasing them before lowering his hands back to his side. The expression Wally shot him drew out an explanation quickly from his lips, giving Dick back just that much hope that maybe he wouldn't lose his best friend over this.

"He knew I'd have to pursue to make it legit and that's exactly what happened. He gave us time to get out. We just… we got caught in the debris field from the explosion."

He paused, eyes half-lidded as he tried to fend off tears far from Wally's sight when he realized the height advantage he had on the ginger. It was enough to make him quietly chuckle, a bit of water to the laugh.

"Check it, KF… I'm finally taller than you," he whispered, knowing that he could be soft from how close they were.

There was barely a head between them now, the sharp glare across from them narrowing at the statement. Wally blinked softly, smiling softly before he caught himself and shrugged it off.

"We're not talking about who's taller, BW. I mean, do you hear yourself? What if even one of you had been left behind?" the ginger leaned closer and Dick turned his head, a tear unwillingly falling from the lashes that had held it back.

He stepped a few steps from the speedster, ducking his head down and slowing his breath, trying his best to slow the tears but they felt like a second nature now. He wasn't going to cry. He was flushing his systems. It wouldn't mess with anything else. He had to believe that.

"Why take that risk? Why go to such extremes?" it was obvious Wally was still mad, but his voice had the stressed after tone that lightened it and gave it a softer shadow, making it hurt a lot less.

"The drive… explains that too," he slowly turned around again, finding those delicate pale fingers straddling the ginger's hips, his eyes a lot softer now. "He needed to submit his position with the Light, and the Light's partner."

Dick leaned back against the table again, the top resting against the small of his back, his hands holding him up. He watched the ginger, praying for a cheesy pick-up line that would leave them both laughing quietly. Something like, 'How about you let me submit my position with your Light, babe?' with a flirtatious smolder like he used to. Just the thought lightened the scowl and eased a tear off.

"Wasn't that why he 'murdered' Artemis?" Wally said instead, breaking the acrobat's heart clean in two.

"I… I guess it didn't convince everyone," the broken ebony murmured, looking down at the floor, his voice barely above a whisper.

Wally on the other hand wasn't afraid to break the sound barrier.

"You guess?!" he practically screamed.

His anger soared through the air and quickly patched through the cut on Dick's heart, running through his blood stream like a cure to all of his problems.

"The cave is- was… just a place!" he shouted back, standing to his full height and stepping closer to the ginger again, his eyes willingly narrowed this time. "Worth sacrificing if it helps us stop the invasion!"

From the look that he got for that statement, Dick tossed all rationality straight to the wind itself and threw out his arms, ready for it to take him away from this awful place.

"Look, I'm sorry you lost all your souvenirs!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" the wind ended up being Wally's hands, forcefully setting themselves to Dick's chest and launching him through the air, forcing him back into his chair with a cry. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT JUNK!"

A small sob broke the mask Dick had been holding up this whole time, the tears trapped under his mask making his cheeks feel sticky and his eyes burn like the abandoned cocoa on the table. He ducked his head down into his hands, hiding his shame, pulling hard at his hair.

"BUT I DID!" he screamed back at Wally, peeling off the mask with disgust and letting the tears fall free now, his eyes reddening and his lips in a faltering scowl.

That stopped the ginger, hands on his chest as he was about to continue yelling. His best friend was crying and it was all his fault. He wouldn't step over to hug the pain away, but he softened his gaze and shut himself up.

"It was all… all I had left of you," Dick whispered, his voice shattered, "You left the team… you left me… for a girl. You broke us all apart. Everything became about her. We never fought before she came around! When she showed up, my best friend disappeared among the souvenirs! E… every night… I'd go up there and look through them… hoping… praying… that I'd find you in there… but I didn't."

Wally blinked softly.

"I told you everything, KF. You know my past… my story… you knew all the right things to say to stop my tears and make me laugh. You knew where to avoid, what not to say, what not to bring up, how far to press… if it's even you! Maybe you and Roy were both cloned back then, because this isn't the ginger who put an arm around my shoulders and whispered a pick-up line in my ear the first time we met. Wally West would yell at me, but he wouldn't yell all about a girl. He would call me an idiot and then we'd go out… for pizza or something…"

The ginger looked down at his feet, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

"I don't know who you're supposed to be… but when you leave, can you tell… my best friend… that I need him more than ever right now?"

The next tear to fall was wiped away with a pale thumb, Wally suddenly sitting on the arm of the chair, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes watery.

"I wasn't yelling about a girl. I was yelling at you for being an idiot, Grayson," he corrected the ebony, setting his fists to his knees, "because that's what a best pal's for, right? Questioning your objectivity?"

Another tear fell from the exposed navy blue eyes, but this one was absorbed in Wally's sweater, the covered arms clutching the teen close.

"Now come on… I'm sure there's a hotel room I can further question your objectivity in down town…" he lowered his voice, smiling teasingly.

Feeling the small chuckle against his abs made him grin, tousling the black locks in the way that always cheered the little bird up.

Wally knew that this would be their darkest hour, but it didn't take much to start a fire and he was willing to be that light for his best friend until the dawn came and relieved them of the ache.

See? Much better, right? Of course it's not. I'm sorry. Don't hate me.

-F.J. III