First step into the modern world

Steve Rogers was sitting in the living room of his small apartment in Brooklyn that S.H.I.E.L.D had got him. It had been a few weeks after the battle against Loki and Steve was still relaxing and trying to figure out modern technology. As Steve was "surfing" through his channels on the television (again, S.H.I.E.L.D issued), he got a call on his "iPhone" (this time, Tony issued). After fumbling with the phone a bit, he finally managed to hit the call button.

"Hello? Steve Rogers speaking," he said.

"Hey Capsicle! You need to come over to the tower, we have something to give you," Tony's ever-so-familiar voice said. Steve groaned. He really didn't want to leave his apartment right now.

"Stark, I can't right now," Steve said, leaning into his leather sofa. Which was, again, S.H.I.E.L.D issu...you know what I mean. Almost everything Steve has is S.H.I.E.L.D issued.

"Capsicle, I know that you are well and fit and are bored as hell," Tony replied. Steve sat up. What?

"How?" he asked, standing up and looking for cameras.

"I can see you through your window." Steve walked to his window and saw Tony on the street, his phone held to his ear and waving. Steve sighed in submission.

"I'll be down in a minute."

The drive home was silent. Steve was silently fuming, yearning for his quiet day at home. He really did NOT want to deal with Tony right now. As soon as Steve stepped into the house, he saw that all the Avengers, except Clint, was sitting in the living room, with weird smirks on their faces.

"What's going on?" Steve asked, sitting down in an armchair.

"Steve, since you are new to this century, you are now going to be subjected to a woman's weakness, and man's enemy," Bruce said. Thor stood up and came towards Steve, holding a book far away from him with his thumb and pointer finger. Thor dropped the book on Steve's lap.

"Twilight?" Steve asked, reading the cover. The men shuddered at the name of that book. Steve read the back of the book, and grimaced. He looked at all the men and they were giving him a look of pity.

"You must read it Captain," Thor said in his loud voice. "It is the rite of passage to manhood."

"Shouldn't I get a girlfriend who'll make me read this?" Steve asked frantically, trying to delay the monstrosity that is that book. The men shook their heads.

"No," Tony interjected. "If you get a girlfriend and she makes you read it, that is pure torture. With us, you can only read the first chapter then stop. With a girlfriend, you'll have to read the entire book and possibly write a summary." Tony shuddered, remembering the time Pepper made him do just that. Steve shrugged, and opened the book, starting to read it.

Steve only lasted five sentences before chucking the book at Tony.