Title: How to Hold a Chunin Exam
Summary: Ibiki made it clear that it was his first time proctoring the chunin exam. His predecessor... was Hatake Kakashi.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing a few characters from the Naruto series.
Edit: Changed references to "Genin Exam". Thanks iFrix, for pointing that out.
"Welcome to the First Test of the Chunin Exam." Kakashi said, not looking up from the orange book hiding his face as the Konoha jonin made his way to the front of the classroom. "This phase of the exam is meant to test your information gathering skills. You've each got a box. In the box are a book and a list of questions. The answers to the questions can be found in the book. Now, the ru-hehe" he paused, giggling at something in the book. "... the rules: One: You must remain silent during the test. Talking or other-teehehe-sounds and outbursts will get you and your team disqualified. Two: You must answer all ten questions. You need five points to pass, but you-hehe-have to-ahem-at least attempt to answer all of the questions or you and your team will be disqualified. Three: Cheating will get you disqualified. You've all got the same book anyway. Right then, you've got an hour. Test-heheheh-the first test starts now."
Haruki grimaced at the perverted proctor. That orange book was clearly something perverted. Looking down to her desk, the genin ignored him and his book. She opened the box to find a familiar-looking orange book sitting inside. "Pervert!"
"Team 8 disqualified. No talking."
"But this is perverted! You can't make us read-"
"Out!"
*giggles*
"Team 13 disqualified."
"Can I keep the book?"
*smack*
*End of exam*
"Team 22 disqualified."
"What? But we were quiet!"
"Your teammate was too caught up in reading to finish his test."
"Enzo! We failed the Chunin Exam because you couldn't keep it in your pants!"
"..."
"..."
"You're not even listening are you. Why do I bother?"
*fwooosh*
"Ow! What the-"
"Exam's over, Enzo."
"Yeah, and you get to explain how we got disqualified to Sensei."
"... but did you have to burn the book?"
"..."
"... you know, you're right. It was a mistake for me to take my frustrations out on some inanimate object. Especially with a more deserving target available."
"Exact-er... no w-wait! S-satoshi, don't-"
*FWOOOSH*
Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as he finished one stack of paperwork, only to start working on the next. Sure, Chunin Exams were necessary substitutes for war and brought prestige and business to Konoha. But there was an awful lot of paperwork generated. Requisition form, security report, security report, security report, council decision, interrogation results, security report, requi-
"What the-Why the hell does Kakashi need 83 copies of Icha Icha Paradise for a chunin exam?!"
*Team 7's chunin exam, just before the first exam*
"You failed six times? What a loser."
"Neji!"
Kabuto frowned slightly, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "For your information, " he said slowly, "the second exam in Konoha last time was Simon Says."
"So."
"With Maito Gai."
"Yeah, well he's our sensei, " Tenten dismissed his reasoning. They'd survived over a year with the jonin. Surely this guy should be able to handle a single day.
"Simon says do 200 jumping jacks."
"Only 200? I'd be disappointed in myself if I did less than 1000 jumping jacks every morning!" Lee exclaimed.
"Simon says run 25 laps around the lake."
"Still doable. Difficult, but it is a-" Tenten attempted to reason.
"Simon says put on one of these jumpsuits and-"
"Okay, yeah... I'd drop out of the exam too," the kunoichi admitted.
"Hn."
*Back to the previous Konoha Chunin Exam*
"You asked to see us Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked. Next to him stood Gai.
"Icha Icha books? Lime green jumpsuits? What the hell is wrong with you two?!" Sarutobi demanded.
"Sir-"
"No. Shut up," Sandaime cut Kakashi off. "Neither of you are allowed to proctor another Chunin Exam. Ever."
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
"Since you're so eager to leave your mark on the next generation of genin, I've added you both to the jonin instructor pool."
"But sir-"
"Hai, Ho-"
"Dismissed."
...
"I've always wanted a genin team."
"..."
"Hokage-sama must've really liked the jumpsuits."
"..."
"Do you think I should send him one?"
"..."
Purpose of [Kakashi's] Test:
- Ability to separate important information from meaningless information in a timely fashion.
- Ability to ignore personal sensibilities and defer personal enjoyment for the sake of the mission.
- Ability to remain quiet; stealth.
- Ability to not get distracted from your mission.
- Discipline
Purpose of [Gai's] Test:
- Determination
- Dedication
- Endurance