A series of conversations between Lestrade, Sherlock and John as they compare themselves and those around them to characters from other works of fiction. With occasional appearance from other characters. The first line is always by Lestrade.

I take requests!

Thanks to dear Ennui Enigma for pointing out the problems with this story, also The Ginger Midget, I hope it's clearer now.

I do not own the characters of BBC Sherlock, nor any of the literal works mentioned in these chapters.

"So, Sherlock, if you're the emotionally in control Mr. Spock, then John is Dr. Bones McCoy. Does that make me Captain Kirk?"

"You wish!"

John enters in a huff.

"Scotty beam me up, there's no intelligent life down here!"

"John, you are irritated, leaning towards frustrated, and you are exhibiting a hint of bewilderment as well. Why?"

"Scotty's not bad… Heck, I like Scotty better than Kirk…" Lestrade mused.

"The victim wasn't murdered; he stuck a fork in the toaster while standing on a wet floor. It was a stupid accident. Jeez, I can't believe how stupid people can be!" John was practically seething.

"Hey, that's Sherlock's line!"

"John, do you want a cup of tea to calm down?"